Every Wish Needs A Star
by WhiskeyLips
Summary: It's the holiday break during season 1 on Nashville. It's been a welcome break for Connie Britton, who adopted a baby, moved across the country where she had no support system, and took on a very demanding role that was outside of her comfort zone. But shortly before she leaves to go back to Nashville, her whole world is turned on its head. Bristen. AU.
1. Chapter 1

_**It had been a grueling seven months for Connie Britton. She had moved to Nashville with her recently adopted son Yoby and then spent a lot of nights wondering if she'd taken on too much. The role of Rayna Jaymes was one of, if not **__**the**__** most, challenging roles of her career. And she had no friends when she came to Nashville. She'd felt vulnerable and lonely in the beginning, but as she settled in, some, if not all, of her life started to settle in as well. She made friends – some of whom were new moms and moms of young children as well – and started to develop a group of women friends she could depend on. Yoby was mobile and she was beginning to feel more comfortable in her role as a mom. The work had been exhilarating in many ways, but there were long hours and that pesky anxiety over singing to overcome. But she'd had supportive help there as well. Still she was happy to be home in LA for a bit, not having to think about early mornings and late nights on set. Then she got some news that changed every single thing about her life up to that point.**_

_**A/N: This is something a little different that I wanted to try. Let me know what you think.**_

**Connie**

It was the Thursday before Christmas and she had barely been able to get out of bed, for the third day in a row. Her body ached and she felt exhausted, even though she'd slept through the night. She felt a touch of nausea and wondered if it had been something she'd eaten the night before. Food at the holidays was almost always richer than she typically ate. It wasn't surprising, after a meal filled with all the things she normally didn't eat, for her to feel a little sick to her stomach. _Maybe it was that cheese plate. Or probably that beef tenderloin._ She hadn't eaten much, but it was a friends' specialty and she hated not to have at least a little. She was trying to eat clean these days, so usually stayed away from that.

Or maybe it was the fact that she'd only seen Chip twice while they were both in LA for the holidays. She had felt like a teenager, the way she had turned that over and over in her head as each day passed. She knew she had no right to expect him to take time away from his family, especially during the holidays. He had told her, before they left Nashville, that it might be hard to get away as much as he wanted. She had told him she understood, that his family was paramount at the holidays. And yet, she had still been disappointed. Crying over a man was _so_ not her style, but there she was, doing it anyway. She'd cried herself to sleep more times than she cared to count. The phone calls and texts just weren't enough. A wave of nausea rolled over her. She ran to the bathroom and tried to puke, but nothing was there.

The next day, her friend Carla suggested she go get it checked out. "We're going to Mexico in a week. I'd hate for you to be sick for that."

She made a face. She didn't want to miss her annual trip to Mexico with her girlfriends. "No, that wouldn't be good." She sighed. "I don't know. I actually do feel better already. The nausea seems to have gone away, so I'm pretty sure it was food. Don't you think it'll just, I don't know, run its course?"

Carla shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Just get it checked out. It could be the flu or something. Couldn't hurt." She laughed. "At least you know you're not pregnant," she teased. "That's the only other thing it sounds like."

She felt a cold chill run up her spine. _It can't be that. it's impossible._ She breathed in and out. _Of course not, that's absurd._ She quickly thought about how long it had been since she'd had a period, but she'd always been irregular and she was even more so now. She made herself laugh. "Well, I know it couldn't possibly be _that_ then." They laughed together. Just to be safe though, she called her doctor's office the next day and, as luck would have it, her doctor could see her the day after Christmas.

* * *

When she woke up the day after Christmas, she felt fine, had felt completely fine the entire weekend, in fact, but decided it couldn't hurt to keep the appointment. Just to be certain. Yet what Carla had said still was in the back of her mind. As she showered and got dressed, she tried to put aside any thought that what she had been feeling was anything else but the tail end of the flu. She and her girlfriends were headed to Mexico in just a few days and she wanted to be able to enjoy that. She got Yoby up and dressed and fed. She was too nervous to eat, so she just drank some tea. She focused on her son, chatting with him in the car, even though his vocabulary was still limited. He was a good listener and babbled happily in response to anything she said. By the time she got to the doctor's office, she was feeling much better about everything.

* * *

When she pulled into her driveway, she realized she had no memory of leaving the doctor's office or driving home. She remembered pulling into a fast food place and picking up a sandwich for Yoby, because the box was still in the car. She grabbed the box and Yoby and walked inside. She took her son upstairs and put him down for a nap and then she went in her bedroom, crawled up on her bed, and cried. She had no idea what she was going to do next. She wanted to talk to Chip, _needed_ to talk to Chip, but wasn't even sure what she would say. He was part of her now – in more ways than one, as it turned out – and he'd become someone she couldn't imagine living without.

She rolled onto her back, thinking back to the first day on the set, when everyone got together for the first table read.

_As she looked around the room, almost everyone at the table was young. Powers Boothe, who played her father, was older, as were a handful of others. She was anxious to meet her costar, though, the one who would play Rayna's former lover. Because of everything else going on in her life, she'd not yet met him. Callie had shown her pictures and she thought he looked handsome in a boyish kind of way. She knew nothing about him or any of his work. Callie had told her he was skewed a little more towards comedy, but that she thought he had the right look and he could play guitar and sing. __She__ wasn't so sure of that, didn't think that boyish looking man could play the Deacon she had created in her head._

_He was running late and she found herself getting a little irritated. She was always on time and it bothered her when others were not. This wasn't starting off on the right foot. She looked down at her script, tapping her fingers on the table in irritation. When the door opened, she looked up, and felt white hot heat shoot down to her core. If this was Charles Esten, he did __not__ look like the photos Callie showed her. This man was gorgeously handsome, with scruff on his face, dressed in character, down to the boots. Her mouth went dry and she thought he had to be the sexiest man she'd seen in a very long time. __This__ was Deacon Claybourne. __This__ was the man that Rayna Jaymes would feel compelled to keep close. And __this__ was a man who could be very dangerous, especially when she saw the way he looked at her._

_He came and sat next to her and seemed alternately shy, engaging, and very funny. 'Call me Chip,' he'd said, in that voice that sounded like whiskey mixed with honey. She noticed he kept looking away from her anytime she turned towards him. As they started reading through the script, she was impressed with his command of the dialect of someone who probably didn't care much about the kind of life Rayna Jaymes lived in. On a break, he offered to get her coffee and then, when he came back, he looked at her a little sheepishly and said, "I can hardly believe I'm actually sitting here next to the great Connie freaking Britton." She stared at him for a second, then laughed out loud._

"_Oh, I wouldn't go __that__ far," she said, still laughing._

_He smiled and it seemed to light up his face. His eyes crinkled at the outer edges and she could see that he still had a little of that boyish look he'd had in the pictures Callie had showed her. But he definitely had a sexiness to him that the man in the pictures did not, the kind that made her knees weak. She certainly understood why Rayna would still be in love with him. She felt herself shiver and her mouth went dry again. She was pretty sure if she'd put her hand between her legs she would have been completely wet. He leaned a little closer to her. "I told everyone that there were about a million reasons I was glad to get this show. And a couple hundred of them were you."_

_She could feel the heat on her face. She had butterflies in her stomach and her heart was beating hard. She'd never believed in love at first sight, but she knew that's what she was feeling. She told herself it was superficial, that all she was attracted to were his looks, but she knew, deep down inside, that was not the case. Since she knew he had a wife and family, she also knew she needed to tread carefully, skirt that fine line between friendship and something more. She smiled a little. "Well, that's sweet of you to say," she said._

"_Oh, it's all true. I'm looking forward to learning from you," he said._

_Her heart pounded so hard the rest of the day that she was surprised it didn't show. And the blood rushing to her head made it hard to concentrate. At the end of the day, they chatted briefly about the scenes they would play first and then made plans to spend some time together talking about Rayna and Deacon's back story before they started rehearsal._

* * *

_They spent a lot of time together, mostly on set, as they started working, and, in between talking about story and mood and working through how they wanted to play a scene, they got to know each other better. She'd always had good relationships with her leading men and she didn't see why he'd be an exception. She was feeling more comfortable with him and the nerves and butterflies were calming down when she was around him. He talked to her about his family - although later she realized he'd mostly talked about his kids - and she had assumed he was happily married. She felt a sense of relief, because she did not intend to get involved with a married man. She also had no time for a relationship anyway. She shared with him some of her single parent struggles and he would listen compassionately and would offer advice occasionally, or his wisdom over the years, but mostly listen, something she really appreciated._

_The third episode was a tricky one for their characters. There were two emotionally charged scenes, in the aftermath of the Bluebird performance in the previous episode. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Rayna and Deacon were still in love with each other, but not willing to admit it. Or at least Rayna was not. They had an uncomfortable scene, discussing their upcoming tour, full of subtext and a hint of the very deep connection the two characters had, even though they hadn't been together in more than a decade._

_But the trickiest scene was one towards the end of the episode, sitting in a park, still talking in metaphors and circles about the very real dilemma they were facing. It was a highly emotional and deeply painful scene between the two. She was nervous about both of them, wanting to play them right, get the tone and the underlying emotions right. Their habit had quickly become to talk about the backstory of the characters, mostly their own version, which helped them decide how to play a scene. They were sitting on one of the sets, talking through their thoughts. And that's when the shift happened._

She sat up then, feeling restless. She brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. She _loved_ him. Everything about their relationship was absolutely perfect and absolutely everything she wanted. Except that he was married. They had very tentatively talked about what the future might look like for them, but she was well aware that things could change. _And now this._ She sighed.

_He had asked her that day if she wanted to run the lines and try different approaches. She had told him she wanted to, but she had to get home to Yoby. "Why don't I come by after he's in bed? I can bring some food. We can talk it through." It all sounded innocent enough, but she did hear warning bells in her head. She thought she had detected some kind of chemistry between the two of them, but told herself it was her imagination. _He's happily married._ She had told her girlfriends that, when they asked. He was really hot, but he was happily married. She was still wary, although she admitted to herself she wanted him to come over, and so she said yes._

_When he came by, he brought Thai food because she had told him once that she loved it, they read through the lines, they talked through the mood and the emotions. They ran through the second scene again, trying to capture those emotions, especially towards the end of the scene, when Rayna basically told him how badly she was struggling. When she looked into his eyes, she saw something there, something she hadn't seen before, and her heart started to beat harder and faster. She breathed in slowly and then he leaned towards her and kissed her, gently at first. Then he pulled at her lip, putting his hand on her waist, pulling her closer. The voice inside her head was screaming at her to stop, but she couldn't._

_The taste of his mouth was intoxicating, the feel of his tongue against her own was like a shot straight to her core. She was kissing him back then, her hands on his face, pulling him closer to her. She tugged on his mouth, unable to stop what she was doing. He was running his hands up her back and then, suddenly, he slid his hands down and under her ass, moving her onto her back. When he stretched out on top of her, she could feel his erection against her core and she moaned in the back of her throat, afraid she was going to come right then. He moved his hips slightly, so that he was rubbing against her. She drew her knees up slightly, which positioned him so that he fit right where she needed him to._

_He tugged at her waistband and she thought she needed to push him away. This was dangerous territory. He slid his hand between the fabric and her skin and she shivered at the feel of his hand against her hip. He slid his hand down over her butt and she groaned. He took that to be acquiescence on her part – and it was – and he put his other hand under the waistband, hooking his thumbs over it and pushing down. She shifted her hips back and forth to help him and then, suddenly, her yoga pants and panties were down past her hips and finally on the floor. She could see then he wanted this as much as she did._

_She took a deep breath and then waited. His lips were still pressing against hers and his tongue was dancing in her mouth. Everything sort of faded away until she realized his hand was sliding between them. She waited just seconds more, everything in her body tingling, and then she felt his finger enter her. She pulled her lips from his and arched her back, moaning out loud. He touched and teased, drawing his finger in and out, swirling it inside her until she found herself totally and completely swept up in what she was feeling. And then suddenly she realized he was entering her fully. She bucked up her hips and spread her legs wider, trying to take all of him inside her. She adjusted herself, moaning as she felt him moving deeper and deeper inside her. She moaned again and he kissed her neck, then her chin, her cheeks, her lips and nose, then her forehead. She was quivering inside and realized this was probably the most turned on she'd been in years._

"_I've never felt anyone quite like you," he whispered. He was moving inside her and she thought she was going to die of it. She was so filled up. At one point she felt like she couldn't take him all in and then the thought of that overwhelmed her and she could feel the throbbing inside of her. She rubbed against him, then suddenly and unexpectedly, she came, so hard and wild she had stars in her eyes. When she felt him empty himself inside her, she came again, the little explosions all around her getting more intense until she really did think she might die of the amazingness of the two of them connected as one._

_He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, planting little kisses on her nose, her cheeks, her shoulder. "That was amazing," she whispered at one point, her nerve endings tingling almost to the point that his touch was a mix of exquisite pain and fiery heat. She had wrapped her arms around his back and clutched his shoulders from behind. His kisses got more insistent and she felt herself responding to him again. His tongue filled her mouth again and she moaned a little._

_He stopped and got up off of her. _Is he leaving? Is he sorry we did this? Was this a mistake? Will things be awkward now? _He looked down at her and she locked eyes with him. He reached out his hand for hers and helped her up. She slid on her pants and then looked at him questioningly. He breathed in deeply. "Can we continue this…?"_

_She smiled. "Upstairs?" He nodded. "I would love that." She took his hand then and led him up the stairs._

_When they were at the door to her bedroom, he tugged on her hand and she turned back towards him. "Are you sure you want to do this? I know there's baggage and all that."_

_She felt like she couldn't breathe. _Is he sorry?_ "We already __have__ started it."_

"_Well, I know, but there's still time to stop it. I don't want you to feel like you can't say it was a mistake."_

"_I don't think it __was__ a mistake, Chip. Do you?" He shook his head and she led him into her bedroom._

She tried to lay back down on the bed, but she was too wired. She could almost feel him inside of her, feel his fingers and hands on her flesh. She jumped out of bed and walked out of her bedroom and down the hall to Yoby's room. He was still asleep. She skipped down the stairs and walked around the kitchen and the den, rubbing her hands up and down her arms as though she was cold, even though she was not.

When he left that night, well after midnight, she sat in her den, her legs pulled up to her chest. Tears filled her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. It wasn't what she'd planned, but she had also known, from the moment she'd seen him that very first day, that he'd stolen her heart. She had sensed that he'd wanted her and it had scared her a little. He was married, with a family, and she couldn't see herself getting in the middle of that. And yet she had anyway. She had been uncharacteristically weak where he was concerned and she had understood, right from the beginning, that he had been swept away by the inevitability of it all as well. She tried not to think about it. it was the only way she could manage it, especially at first. The things they'd said to each other, though. Talk of love and soulmates and feeling like they fit together – two halves of a whole. He spent many nights with her. He nearly always came straight to her when he returned from a weekend in California. It was the happiest she'd felt in her life.

She would always tell herself she needed to end it, tell him they couldn't do this, but then, when they were together, she couldn't resist him. Had never been able to, in fact. He really was her soulmate, something she'd pooh pooh'ed for years, the idea of love at first sight and finding the person you were meant to be with. He told her he felt the same, and she believed him, because she had to.

It wasn't like she'd never had a crisis of conscience, because she had. Several times. The first time was right after that first night. She had told him she didn't think she could do it, that it was wrong, that she respected his commitment to his marriage and his family. He had looked disappointed, but told her he understood. For the next several days, every time she saw him, he would look sad and she felt herself waver. It had been a long time since she'd been with a man, since before she'd adopted Yoby. Being with Chip had made her remember how much she missed that. The closeness, the intimacy. He had set her body on fire and she had missed it. Missed _him_.

It was the day they filmed the scene after the country club performance. It was just a line or two, but it was fraught with all the weight of Deacon and Rayna's shared history. All the emotions and subtext they could no longer pretend wasn't there. _Which us, Ray? Which us?_ The tears in her eyes were real, as she looked at him, waiting for his next line. And then _I thought you needed me_. She swallowed. _I __do__ need you._

_He had been sitting at the front of the van as they headed back to the studio. As everyone started to disperse, she called out his name and he turned, waiting for her to catch up. "Can we talk?" she asked and he nodded. They made their way to his trailer and he followed her in. Her insides were crackling with electricity as she turned back to him. She couldn't make the words come out of her mouth, but he seemed to know, as he pulled her to him. When she felt his lips on hers, she grabbed at him, pulling him closer, as he wound his fingers in her hair. And almost before she knew it, he'd turned her around and, as she gripped the counter in front of the mirror on the wall, entered her swiftly. His hands were on hips as he thrust in and out, his mouth against her neck, then her shoulder. They both climaxed at almost the same time. He kissed her shoulder and then looked at her reflection in the mirror._

"_I want you, Connie," he whispered. "I need you."_

_She ran her tongue over her lower lip and nodded. "I need you too," she murmured._

* * *

They had both had their moments of feeling unsure, guilty, conflicted. There had been little talk of his current situation or what would happen if or when his family moved to Nashville. In her mind, she was prepared for whatever the future might hold, but she also knew she could potentially be hurt and alone. They had talked about how they felt about each other and the desire to be together, but it was easier to say when he was on his own. She sighed. This is where the rubber would meet the road. This is where she'd find out where things _really_ stood.

She couldn't sit still any longer. She really needed to talk to him. She jumped up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. She picked up her phone and tapped out a text.

_I hate to interfere with your last bit of time with your family, but would you have some time for us to get together in the next day or so?_

**Chip**

He was at a vintage guitar shop in West Hollywood. It had been a stroke of luck for him to get hired for the new show Nashville. After his auditions, he had prayed nightly for the opportunity. The role of Deacon Claybourne was a meaty dramatic role, a departure from the mostly comedic roles he'd had. It was a lead role as well, a first for him. When he finally got the call that he'd won the part, he was overjoyed. He got to do the two things he loved most, acting and making music. He'd done some writing, performed for his family and friends mostly, and he'd showed off his ability to make up a song on the fly on the various Whose Line Is It Anyway programs, but he'd be on a much bigger stage with this show about country music.

What he was most excited about though, was to be working with Connie Britton. Connie FREAKING Britton. He'd had a giant crush on her from her days on Friday Night Lights. Truthfully, it was more than a crush. He'd fallen in love, at least as much as you could fall in love with someone you'd never met. So, as excited as he was, he had also been a ball of nerves. He would be playing her character's former lover, possibly father of her oldest child, and still carrying a torch for her. He was on board with all of that.

He had moved to Nashville on his own for the first season. The plan would be to bring his family if they were renewed for a second season. He had also been excited about just being in Nashville, the home of country music. And though he missed his kids tremendously, he had enjoyed everything about feeling a certain level of freedom without the responsibilities. It had been more than even he could have imagined. He'd already met people in the music community, been able to sit alongside some of the best songwriters and musicians in the business. He'd even gotten to debut on the Grand Ole Opry, one of the highlights of his life.

The best thing about Nashville though, both the city and the show, had been the opportunity to work with Connie Britton. As in awe of her as he was, he learned quickly that she was down-to-earth, fun, and desperate for the company of people her own age. She taught him a lot about acting and they spent a lot of time together on set, because of the connection of their characters. And they quickly became good friends. _Very_ good friends. And soon after, a lot more than that.

_His stomach had been in a knot when he stood on her porch, with a bag of Thai food and his script, waiting for her to answer the door. He'd surprised himself by inviting himself over and then was surprised all over again when she accepted, without any pause. One of the great things about being in Nashville without his family was that he could really just do a deep dive into the show and the character and the relationships, without any other concerns._

_He had also been itching to explore the possibility that she might be as interested in him as he was in her. The looks she gave him, the way she put her hand on his arm or his hand and then kept it there a little too long. She would squeeze his forearm and give him a little smile. She'd brush against him during rehearsals or even a scene, when it wasn't called for. And she seemed to really depend on him – as a scene partner, as a friend. Maybe as something else. He'd lost count of the number of times he'd gone back to his apartment after spending time on set with her and had to jerk off all alone._

_So when she opened the door that night and her eyes lit up when she saw him, he was pretty sure she had the same feelings he did. He just wasn't sure how to find out for sure._

* * *

_It happened when they were working through the second scene. Her line was something about holding hearts in her hands and then talking about how nothing felt right to her. She looked at him and he saw something. He couldn't have named it and he couldn't explain why he knew, at just that moment, that she wanted him to make a move. He'd never thought he would be the kind of person who cheated, but it didn't feel like that. It felt more like falling into the place where he needed to be, where she needed to be. There was a force between the two of them that was bigger than either of them. He knew she was who he'd been waiting for and then he found himself kissing her. She was kissing him back and then putting her hands on his face, and he was lost. Everything that happened afterwards just felt like it was meant to be._

His conscience had gotten to him a time or two and it certainly had for her as well. There was the time he'd gone to LA for the weekend and he was really struck by all he would miss without his family. He'd been there for Taylor's soccer match, happy to be able to cheer her on. He'd had a longer weekend than normal, so was able to go to teacher's night at Addie's school with Patty. The family had hiked in the mountains together, had a fun night at a neighborhood block party and cheered on the Steelers together. It had given him pause, made him wonder if he was just being selfish where Connie was concerned.

His time with her had been glorious and it still amazed him that he was actually in a relationship with her. He loved her, truly loved her. But he also wasn't sure what he could offer to her. He had such mixed feelings about the whole idea of leaving his family, upending everyone's lives. He understood the conflict he knew Connie felt, because he felt it too. He'd taken vows, had a family with Patty, never thought they wouldn't be together forever. Even if the bloom was off the rose of the marriage and the love had faded, he knew he was lucky to have a supportive wife and children. It had been a leap of faith for them to have let him go to Nashville without them, and he was ever mindful of that.

He breathed in deeply. Connie Britton was the best thing that had ever happened to him and each time they were together, he'd known the day would come when he couldn't be without her all the time. It felt a little like there would be some kind of tipping point, some trigger that would just change everything, but he wasn't sure, at that point, what it would be, or when.

Starting a new job, far from home, had been exciting. He'd been glad for the opportunity to immerse himself in it all, with no other real obligations. He did fly home to LA most weekends, but he was always ready to go back to Nashville on Sundays. More often than not, he'd drive straight from the airport to Connie's house, looking forward to spending the night – and maybe some of Monday, depending on their shooting schedules – together. He had fallen in love with her all over again, except this time it was real. Now he couldn't imagine his life without her in it.

He was looking at some Martins. The musician who, as he always said, was the voice of Deacon's guitar, Colin Linden, had talked with him a lot about guitars and he was hoping to find a quality vintage guitar for himself. He wouldn't buy it until he got back to Nashville, but wanted to get a feel for what he would like. He felt the vibration of his phone and made a face. He pulled the phone out of his back pocket, thinking it would be his wife, Patty, wondering when he'd be back. He sighed. As crazy about her as he'd been in college, the marriage had felt like it had been running out of steam for a while. They fought more, spent less time together, and much of the freedom he felt in Nashville was due to being away from her.

He turned the phone over and a smile crossed his face. It was Connie_. I hate to interfere with your last bit of time with your family, but would you have some time for us to get together in the next day or so?_ He thought about telling her he'd come right then, but the family was going to a matinee movie and then to dinner. He texted back. _Absolutely. Tomorrow work?_ He waited. _Terrific. After lunch?_ He started to walk towards the door of the shop. _I'll be there._

He headed out the door and towards his car wishing it was already the next day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chip**

He waited in the kitchen for everyone to get ready. He looked around, thinking about how excited he and Patty had been to buy this house. For a number of years after they came to LA for his career, they'd lived first in apartments, then later in small rental houses. When Patty was pregnant with their middle child, Chase, they'd finally been able to put together a down payment on a house and feel like they could make a home. It was a nicely renovated 70's ranch in a quiet, family-oriented neighborhood, the perfect place to raise the kids. He had hoped one day to be a position to buy a bigger house, but here they still were.

There were lots of great memories here, but also, especially over the last few years, a feeling of disconnectedness and then loneliness. It had been hard when Addie got sick and at the end of that journey, he and Patty were no longer on the same track relationship wise. It wasn't Addie's fault, wasn't even Patty's fault, but the stress and worry seemed to expose all the cracks and flaws that were probably always there, but covered over in the throes of young love and babies and all that. There was no animosity, just the feeling of ships passing in the night. They still enjoyed each other's company much of the time and enjoyed doing family things, but in the quiet moments, when they were alone together, they were just alone.

Meeting Connie in Nashville had been a revelation. For one, he learned that grown-up love was so much more satisfying than young adult love. It was deeper, richer, more solid. And she had developed her own life, her own interests, but the joy was in sharing them with each other. There was an intimacy that he'd never had in his marriage. And then there was the sex. They had had a pretty instantaneous chemistry with each other and, for him, the desire to act on it had been nearly as instantaneous. They were so in sync with each other and that was demonstrated in the way they'd come together initially, and the way they'd seemed to understand each other and their respective needs, right from the start. They fit, never more evident than when they were in bed together.

He had certainly never intended to have a relationship with someone else. Even if the romance of his marriage was gone, he still liked being married. Or at least the idea of being married. It made him feel settled while pursuing a profession that could make a person feel anything but. He and Patty usually had sex every Friday, which felt more like a task to check off. It wasn't fulfilling in the way it should have been. He'd actually forgotten what it felt like to feel loved, in a more intimate way. And then he'd walked through the door, late, to the very first table read for Nashville.

Of course he knew who Connie Britton was, had seen her many times on TV and in movies. He'd had a super huge crush on her in Friday Light Nights. The perfect partner, in a wholesome way. But when he walked into the room for the table read, he had seen a goddess. Even without makeup and with her hair pulled back into a ponytail and glasses on, she was a goddess. A very sexy goddess. She glowed. She looked younger than she appeared on screen, her face fresh and open, freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks. Her smile was warm and friendly and he noticed the very slight overlap of her two front teeth that he'd never noticed before. And all he'd wanted was to be close to her.

"Hey, are we ready yet?" His thoughts were interrupted by Addie, who came bouncing into the kitchen.

He smiled fondly at his youngest. "Just you and me so far, sweetie," he said. "Unless you want to round 'em up." She turned and headed back down the hall as he watched.

* * *

When he gave his order at their favorite Mexican restaurant and handed the menu back to the server, he settled back into his thoughts. This was a family tradition at Christmas – the day after Christmas, when the memories of the holidays were already fading, they went to an afternoon movie and then to dinner at their favorite Mexican place. _I'll miss this._ The thought surprised him at first, but truthfully, he'd already started thinking about a life in the future with Connie. He just didn't know when that might happen.

She was the one who had suggested they take some time between scenes to figure out the life and legend of Deacon and Rayna. She had thought that if they could figure out what that long ago relationship had been for them, what Rayna's motivations were for staying with him through almost all of his active alcoholic life, and what Deacon's life had looked like without her in it, at least from a love relationship standpoint, they could draw from it when they did their scenes together. Somehow it seemed that those conversations just drew them closer together and, at times, it felt like they were talking about each other.

She was a toucher. She would put a hand on his arm or his knee, lean in close, tap his hand or arm. She would sit close. He had to admit he didn't mind at all. The day they were trying to work through how to play their two big scenes for the third episode was when he'd suggested bringing dinner to her house. She'd had to leave the set because of her son and it seemed like a reasonable thing. But as he drove to her house that evening, he knew she hadn't agreed simply because of her son, although he couldn't have said for sure just why he thought that. He also knew he hadn't suggested it just for that reason, although he hadn't immediately been conscious of that. The heat between the two of them had been almost palpable. The electricity on set when they did a scene together was magic. He would see something in her eyes that told him it was more than just two people working together.

The scene was heavy and the quiet acknowledgement by the characters that they'd gone a step too far, perhaps, kind of set the stage. That's when he kissed her. He had wondered in that moment if she would rebuff him, push him away. But she hadn't. She'd kissed him back. Enthusiastically. And when he made love to her on her couch, she didn't push him away then either. She took him upstairs and into her bed and very early in the morning, when it was still dark, she had tucked herself into him and whispered, "You make me feel safe." His heart nearly burst.

From that point on, they spent as much time together as possible. He often spent the night at her house. And it hadn't been long before they said 'I love you' to each other. He'd found his other half and he believed it was also the case with her. And now he knew he probably needed to make a choice before it ended up with his wife and kids moving to Nashville.

"Dad." Addie's sharp call out brought him back to the present.

He refocused. "Huh? What?"

Addie rolled her eyes. "What did you like best about the movie?"

He had to struggle to even remember the name of the movie. Finally he let out a short laugh and smiled. "All of it," he said. "Really, all of it."

**Connie**

Although she hadn't asked him to come right away, she knew the anxiety of waiting for the next day would weigh heavily. It already was. She paced the house, trying to think of how to say it. How to break the news. She crossed her arms and walked out to the patio, picking up the baby monitor as she did. She stood for a moment, not really seeing anything around her. Then she sighed, walked over to the pool and sat on the edge. She rolled up her pants above her knees and then dipped her feet into the warm water. She slowly lowered her legs until they were covered up to just below her knees. She set the monitor beside her and then gripped the edge around the pool, lifting her face up to the winter sunshine and closing her eyes.

They hadn't known each other even six months. When it happened, it had happened fast. She loved him, truly loved him, and he had told her he loved her too. She was in exactly the place she'd told herself she'd never be. She was in love with a married man. Someone else's husband. But she couldn't help it. She ached for him when he wasn't with her. He'd told her a little bit about how things were between him and his wife, but they mostly avoided talking about it. He'd told her she was his soulmate, his one true love, and she believed him, because she wanted to. Needed to, really, because otherwise she couldn't continue. But she wondered sometimes. Did he really love her as much as he said, as much as he seemed? _I guess I'll find out now._

She heard Yoby on the monitor and jumped up and, grabbing the monitor, headed back in the house.

**Chip**

Patty and the girls had gone to the mall to take advantage of after-Christmas sales. Chase was off with friends to the beach. He drove back to the vintage guitar store, looking again at guitars, taking some pictures so he could go back and talk to Colin about what would be best. He checked out guitar straps as well, although the show had been great about letting him use the Deacon guitar strap and guitars from the show, when he performed in town. He finally left the store and walked down the sidewalk to a jewelry store. He wandered around looking for something that would catch his eye.

He came across a necklace with a blue stone that matched Connie's eyes. It was silver and the stone was set in a figure eight shape sprinkled with tiny diamonds. He had the salesperson pull it out and he held it up, letting the light dance off the stone. He nodded. "This one," he said.

"Would you like it gift wrapped?" the salesperson asked.

He nodded. "I would." He tapped a finger on the glass case. "Not Christmas-y though." He waited until the man brought it back, wrapped in white paper with a simple blue ribbon around it. He pulled out the private credit card he had, the one Patty didn't know about, and paid. Then he walked out of the store with a smile.

* * *

He stopped off to get a burger. As he sat, eating his lunch, he thought about Connie. On Christmas Day, he'd called her late in the evening to ask her about Yoby's Christmas. She told him she hadn't felt well before Christmas and he'd been worried about her. Her friends had told her to go to the doctor, she'd said, so she would, although she was actually feeling pretty much back to normal. He echoed her friends' concern, especially since she was leaving for a few days in Mexico with her girlfriends. He dreamed of going with her to Mexico one day.

That made him stop and think about their relationship. It had all happened very fast, almost before either of them really realized it. When he'd first met her, he thought she was beautiful and sexy and, while he still thought she was beautiful and sexy, he'd found out she was also funny and generous and had a huge heart. In many ways she was old-fashioned about relationships and it didn't seem like a disconnect at all that this strong, independent woman really liked being treated like a lady.

In Nashville they had spent as much time together as they could. He would stop by her house in the evenings and usually stayed until morning. On the rare weekend he stayed in town, they would snuggle up under a blanket watching movies or make out on the couch. He had fallen hard for her. It had happened fast, but the one thing he'd been absolutely sure of, almost from the beginning, was that she was the one he'd been waiting for all his life. Sometimes he would wonder if he was living in a parallel universe. That he would be the man Connie Britton loved felt surreal, like it could only happen in a dream. But it was definitely real. He hoped she knew just what his feelings were for her. He didn't know if he could imagine his life going forward without her in it.

They had agreed they wouldn't be able to see each other much once they were back in LA for the holiday break. Neither one of them was happy about it, but it was necessary. They had talked when they could and he'd seen her twice. She didn't want to interfere with his family time, she'd told him. The holidays had always been a time filled with traditions for his family, so it was important not to raise red flags. He kept feeling like he needed to be truthful with Patty, but he couldn't do it at the holidays. And so he went along to get along, knowing the time was drawing near for him to cut the cord.

**Connie**

She didn't sleep well. She'd had dreams all night long. Sometimes they ended well, other times they didn't. She got up at one point and went and sat in Yoby's room, just listening to him breathe. He had a little night light in his room and it gave off a soft yellowish-white light that allowed her to see his face. As always, her heart was filled with love for him. He'd made her a mom and, while she hadn't given birth to him, he belonged to her, every bit as much as if she had.

It had certainly been hard at first, raising a child on her own. Even more so, when she moved to Nashville, with no support system, it had felt overwhelming. But she'd learned – by trial and error, she often said – and he was a happy, healthy little boy. She had done this on her own, as she'd done so many other things, and she knew it would be no different this time. No matter what happened, she knew she could do it.

* * *

She took Yoby to the park. It was a pleasant day and the sun was shining and she put him in one of those toddler swings and she laughed because he did. She let him slide down the slide and then, when he fell asleep in his stroller, she took him home.

She felt exhausted, considering she hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the night before, and she laid down on her bed and had taken a short nap. When she got up, she felt better. She checked on Yoby and he was still sleeping. She glanced at the clock and she knew Chip would be there shortly. She felt a rush of anxiety then and she couldn't sit still. And so she paced.

Almost before she knew it, the doorbell rang.

**Chip**

He waited after he rang the doorbell. It had seemed crazy that, even with the complication of his family, he and Connie had seen each other sparingly during the holiday hiatus, although they'd both agreed it was best. It made him feel a little awkward, as though they were out of sync. He didn't like that feeling. He would be leaving for Nashville right after New Year's. She would be back about a week later, just before they got back to filming. He hoped everything would just go back to normal, when they were both back. When she opened the door, he smiled. "Hey, baby," he said. He put his hand around the jewelry box in his pocket.

"Hey," she said. "Come on in." She stepped back to let him in. When she closed the door, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She responded and leaned into him, kissing him back with a sense of urgency, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He backed her up against the wall, still kissing her, grinding himself against her. When she tried to pull her lips from his, he kissed her even more fervently. "I missed you," he whispered against her mouth.

She looked at him, her lips a little swollen, that softness around her eyes. "Chip, I need to…."

He kissed her again. He knew she wanted him. He could feel it in the way she arched her back and tipped her pelvis towards him. He could feel it as she rubbed against him. He pulled his lips away just a little. "I want you, baby," he murmured. "Right now."

She seemed to hesitate for half a second and then her hands were on the back of his head, then sliding down his back, and then back again, as she threaded her fingers through his hair. "I want you too," she whispered and then she pulled away long enough to take his hand and lead him upstairs.

**Connie**

She'd never been able to resist him. As much as she didn't want to postpone telling him, her body had its own ideas. She wanted him to make love to her, right then. She needed to feel his hands on her body, touching her skin and all those other places that made her moan and throw her head back and clench the sheets in both hands. She needed him inside her, his width and length filling her up and making it impossible to focus on anything else except for him and the way he made her feel. She had felt his erection as he'd held her tightly against him and it just made all sense fly out of her head.

He was pulling at her belt, then his fingers were on the zipper of her jeans. She ran her hands down the front of the shirt he was wearing, then she pushed his hands away from her, pressing herself firmly against him, and pulled the shirt up and over his chest and head. She leaned in and pressed her lips against his chest, breathing in deeply, closing her eyes as she took in the male smell of him. He didn't wear cologne or after shave or anything else and it was one of the things she appreciated about him. She had been with someone for a while, years earlier, and he'd worn some musky shit that nearly made her gag every time she was with him. She loved that Chip just smelled clean and like a real man.

He was tugging at her jeans, sliding them and her panties down over her hips. He took her mouth with his, kissing her hungrily, as he slid two fingers inside her, his other hand holding her firmly against him. She twitched her hips as he swirled his fingers inside her. She threw her head back and he kissed her neck, her shoulders. _I need to tell him, now, before we go any further._ She tried to squirm away from him, but he held her tight. She finally put her palms against his shoulders and pushed her torso back from him. He looked at her, confused, his eyes still dark with desire.

"Chip," she whispered. "I need to…." He pulled his fingers out of her and then grabbed the back of her neck, gently, capturing her mouth again. "Chip…." She tried again, her lips still pressed against his.

His response was to gently push her back on the bed, pulling off the sweater she wore. He rested his knee on the bed next to her and deftly unfastened her bra, tossing it aside. She was breathing heavily as he rubbed her nipples with his thumbs. They were sore and highly sensitized, but it just strangely made her tingle down to her core. She completely forgot what she needed to talk about, just letting his touch make her dizzy with desire. He yanked off his jeans and she saw his massive erection as he hovered over her. Her heart was beating hard and she moaned unconsciously. He pulled her jeans the rest of the way off and then covered her with his body as he entered her. She drew up her knees, widening herself for him. He buried his face in her neck. "God, I love you," he groaned.

She put her hands on the back of his head and lost herself in his urgent pushes, matching his rhythm, feeling herself spiraling into concentric waves of pleasure. She arched her back and cried out, then felt herself falling into a warm cocoon of pure satisfaction, feeling him follow behind her as he thrust into her one last time.

She could feel her heart racing as she fought to catch her breath. She felt his fingers entangled in her hair and his warm breath against her neck as he panted heavily. She clung to him, her arms around his neck, and she slid her legs slowly down alongside his. "I love you too," she whispered.

Eventually their breathing slowed to normal and he slid off of her, still holding her close. She turned her face to his, wondering how long she should wait to share her news. But he started first, as he rubbed her cheek with his thumb. He had a serious look on his face and she wasn't sure what to make of it. He took a deep breath and let it out. "You know I love you, right?" he asked. She nodded. "I mean, _really_ love you. Like you're my soulmate. Like the day I met you was the best day of my life." He laughed a little. "Except every single day since then has topped it." She smiled. He turned serious again. "I can't not be with you, Connie. I've gotta figure this out, because I need you in my life. More than anything else." She bit her lip. He kissed her gently. "This isn't a fling or an…affair, nothing like that. This is real. This is it. For me."

She breathed in. "I feel the same way," she said.

He got a hopeful smile on his face. "You do?" She nodded and smiled. It was true. The smile turned into a broad grin. "Oh, baby, you don't know how that makes me feel!" He kissed her long and hard and she couldn't help but get caught up in his excitement. As he kissed her, she thought about how she loved the taste of his mouth, the way he was holding her right then, the way he made her feel. But she also needed to share her news. Right then, before things went any further.

She pulled away from his mouth and looked at him. "Chip, I need to tell you something," she said.

He frowned slightly. "Okay. What is it, baby?" He smoothed her hair off her face.

She breathed in, feeling her stomach turn flip flops. She swallowed. She knew she should have insisted they talk first, but she always had a hard time resisting him. She opened her mouth to start talking and froze for a second. She took a deep breath and then she felt tears in her eyes. He put his fingers under chin and tipped her face up. He had a concerned look on his face. "What's wrong?" he asked.

She started again to say something, but the words were stuck in her throat. The tears came again and she was powerless to stop them. He moved so that he could lay on his side and he tried to rub the tears away with his thumb. "Baby, what is it?"

She had to say it. She took a deep breath and then looked up at him. _Just say it._ She swallowed hard. "I, uh, I'm…pregnant." She watched his eyes get wider as he breathed in. His hand was still on her cheek and, wordlessly, he leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. Then he just held her to him, breathing in and out.

**Chip**

At first he couldn't speak. He was sure he couldn't have heard her right. He finally found his voice, but all he could croak out was "What did you say?" He felt like he was in a daze.

He couldn't read her expression. "I'm pregnant," she said again.

"I wasn't expecting that," he said finally. He was still feeling a little shell-shocked.

She tried to smile. "I wasn't either." She teared up again. "I'm sorry."

He frowned, his thumb stroking her cheek. Then he leaned in and brushed his lips across hers. "It's not your fault," he said. "Obviously it takes two." He sighed. "When did you find out?"

"Yesterday. I just thought I was getting over the flu or something. That never even crossed my mind. I was sure I was too old."

A brief smile crossed his lips. "So how far along?"

"Seven weeks. The baby is due towards the end of August. Which is awful timing, I know." She rolled her eyes. "Not that it isn't _all_ awful timing. And I know it's not what you…expected." She sighed. "You don't have to feel obligated or anything. No one has to know."

He frowned again. Yes, it was inconvenient. Yes, it was never something he'd expected would happen. But he would do the right thing. He _wanted_ to do the right thing. "Of course I'd want to be involved, Connie. It's my child too. I would never walk away."

She couldn't look at him then. "Well, I don't want you to feel like you need to _do_ anything for me either," she said, sadly.

He put a finger on her jawline and forced her to look at him. "I wouldn't feel obligated that way either. I've got a lot of thinking to do though. I've gotta figure all this out."

She nodded. "I know. I get it." He pulled her into his arms then and just held her. He was still having trouble wrapping his mind around it. He had a wife. And a family. He'd just told her how much he loved her, that she was his soulmate. It was all true. This news hadn't changed that. But he needed a minute to think about what it all meant, what they would do.

They just laid together for a long time, not saying anything, just holding each other close. As the winter shadows started to darken the room, he breathed in and then sat up in the bed. She looked up at him as he rubbed his face. He looked back at her. "I need to go. Got some things I need to do."

**Connie**

She wasn't sure that was it at all and she could feel her chest tighten, but she willed herself not to cry. It felt a little like he was pulling away, but she also felt like it could be her hormones talking. She watched him get out of bed and slowly get dressed. She got out of bed too and slipped on a robe. She walked around the bed as he was buckling his belt and he looked at her with a soft smile. He reached for her hand and then led her out of the room and down the stairs to the foyer.

When they got to the door, he turned to face her. She thought he still looked a little stunned, a little uncertain. He put his hands on either side of her face and leaned in, kissing her on the forehead. Then he looked her in the eyes. "We'll figure it out," he said. "I just need to think it all through." She didn't trust her voice and she just nodded. He kissed her on the lips then and walked out the door.

She stood in the foyer, her arms around her waist, feeling both a sense of panic and an emptiness inside. It didn't feel like this was a good thing at all anymore. Suddenly she was crying, her hand over her mouth, and she worried that he had just walked out of her life.

**Chip**

_I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant._ The words swirled around in his head as he drove. He wasn't even sure where he was driving to. He'd never expected those words to come out of her mouth. She was right – they were too old. Or, more accurately, _she_ was too old. He shook his head. That wasn't right. She was still a stunningly beautiful, sexy woman. She was smart, compassionate, strong, and loving. She was fierce and strong and magical and brave. She was the woman he loved. And she was pregnant. With _his_ baby.

They'd never talked about anything like this, of course. It just wasn't part of the picture. She had Yoby, of course, but he was adopted. _I really had to give up on that part of my life. You know, somehow I just always thought I'd be a mom. And that meant, really, having my own baby. Being pregnant and giving birth. But it never happened. Timing was wrong and I never found the right person to do that with. And then I realized I didn't need a man or a marriage or a relationship. I could still be a mom. And now I am._ That's what she'd told him when she had shared her story of adopting Yoby. But now she would have her own baby. And he was the one who'd given her that chance.

He breathed in deeply. This changed so many things, for both of them. Then he frowned. She'd said something about him not being obligated – to the baby or to her. It made him wonder if she was disappointed that it had happened at all. The timing was certainly wrong, as she said. And it wasn't planned, that was for sure, so maybe she didn't think he was the right man to do this with. _Maybe she doesn't want to do this with me. Maybe she wishes it hadn't happened, so she wouldn't be tied to me for the rest of our lives._

It was complicated though. He had kids. And a wife. Telling them would be difficult, painful for them. He tried imagining what it would be like to have that bond with Connie, with her maybe not wanting that. It felt both painful and confusing. If he was honest, he wasn't sure he wanted this kind of complication in his life. He wanted Connie, that much was true. But having another child, with someone else, would be awkward at best and life-destroying at worst. How would they work together? Would she leave the show and come back to LA? Would he even have the family he had now anymore, after they found out? Because they would have to find out. He'd have to tell them, and then let the chips fall where they may. His stomach was churning.

He suddenly realized he'd driven to the beach. He got out of his car, pulled on a jacket, and went walking along the beach, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders shrugged over to fend off the wind, as he aimlessly headed nowhere.

**Connie**

She felt numb. She'd had trouble sleeping. She tried to stay busy, packing for Mexico, organizing the things that would be going to Nashville. The plan was to fly straight to Nashville from Mexico. But she felt nervous and anxious, thinking about going back to Nashville and work. In the afternoon, she sent Yoby to the park with the nanny, and then took a sparkling water out to the backyard. It was a little cool out and she wrapped a cozy sweater around her and sat by the pool.

She gazed out over the water, trying to empty her mind, but she couldn't. She took a sip of the water and thought how much she'd really like to have a big glass of wine. Or a whiskey. She breathed in deeply and felt her eyes water. Whiskey made her think of Chip and thinking of Chip made her feel queasy, not knowing what he was thinking. _We'll figure it out. I just need to think it all through._ She tried not to think the worst. He was surprised at her news, probably surprised it had happened at all. That was understandable. She had certainly been surprised.

She started to think about how it all could have happened. They were pretty diligent about using a condom. Well, except for that very first time, but that was too long ago. She'd been pretty sure she was slowly headed towards menopause. Or peri-menopause, which is what her doctor had called it. She missed periods occasionally and it had been so long since she'd actually used birth control pills that she'd been glad Chip paid attention to that kind of thing. But then that meant that accidents could happen.

She frowned, trying to think through when it would have happened. They actually had sex a lot. Without a family to go home to, it wasn't unusual for him to come by and stay late into the night, sometimes staying until the next morning. He'd go out with some of the cast and then call her to see if he could stop by. She'd never been with anyone quite like him. He made her laugh, he listened to her, asked thoughtful questions about the things she was interested in. Yoby adored him and he was so good with her son. She thought, sometimes, that he was grateful to have Yoby around, since his kids were far away. He made her feel safe, secure. She loved nothing better than to be wrapped up in his arms. The sex was amazing and she felt the crazy tingles she always felt when she could see how hard he'd get around her or when she saw him naked. He was a beautiful man and she found herself craving the sex.

She could feel those zingers as she sat by the pool and she shifted her position in the chair. She sighed. That was what had gotten them in this situation. She knew there were more than a few times they were both so turned on that they would completely forget about protection. When she tried narrowing those times to the time period Dr. Morrison said was her likely conception date, she thought about the night he made his Opry debut. It was a Friday night and his family couldn't be there, so she went to give him support. Some of his cousins were there as well and they had all hit a couple of the honky tonks hard. He had sat next to her in the booth at one of those places and drove her crazy as he let his fingers lightly trail up her inner thigh. She was so turned on and so hot she was surprised she wasn't sweating. After dropping his cousins off at their hotel, he'd driven to her house and they had fucked practically all night long. She was pretty sure most of those times were sans condom.

There was the one afternoon after they'd filmed a scene by a creek near Belle Meade. It was a place they'd both decided had been one of Deacon and Rayna's safe places, where they could talk, during the years Rayna was married to Teddy. It was an intimate scene, in the sense that the two of them knew each other better than anyone else knew them, and they understood what wasn't being said in the silences. Just knew that when there was trouble, the other was the one who would understand the best.

She always liked those scenes and, when it was just the two of them, it seemed to make them both crave each other. It was a scene that ultimately ended up being edited out, but it hadn't mattered at the time. When they got back to the production stages, she had discreetly gone to his trailer and he'd quickly let her in. They had quickly had sex in the small bathroom, with her sitting on the vanity. Feeling his arms around her, his hands on her skin, his mouth devouring her, while he moved quickly in and out as she wrapped her legs around his waist had sent her over the edge. They had clung to each other, panting hard, her legs still crossed behind his back, until they could both breathe more evenly. Her legs had felt shaky when he helped her down and he pulled her close. She had left him reluctantly and headed back to her own trailer, to wait until her next scene.

She leaned her head back and sighed deeply. Maybe that was it. She sat up and looked back over the pool. She put her hand over her stomach. _Is it crazy that I'm both happy and sad at the same time? I've wanted to have a baby for so long and now I will, with a man I'm in love with, just as it should be. Only it's not as it should be, and that's what makes me sad. He's committed to another, the vows he took holding him there. Nothing is certain, not even the promises we've made to each other, because we're really not free to make those promises. So my baby – our baby – will be the one who pays the price for that. I'll be bringing this child into a world of uncertainty. I will love him or her, and I believe Chip will too, but he's in an awful position and it may end up hurting us all._ It was the last thing she wanted, but somehow they'd have to figure out a way to deal with it.

Or maybe not. If he didn't come back, she guessed she'd have her answer.

**Chip**

He couldn't stop thinking about what Connie had told him. _I'm pregnant._ It still felt surreal. It felt like he was dreaming. He was 47 years old. She was 45. He quickly calculated in his head and realized he'd be 65 when this baby was 18. That seemed really too old. The implications of Connie being pregnant were huge. And complicated. And a little scary. He knew enough to know that her being pregnant at 45 put her, and the baby, at risk.

He grabbed his tablet and went out on the patio. He sat in a chair that faced the sliding door so he could see if someone walked out. He turned the tablet on and pulled up Google. He typed in 'pregnant at 45' and started to read. The chances of her having gotten pregnant at all were very small, so it was like the sun, the moon, and the stars had all aligned on one night when they obviously had not been careful. He sat back and thought about that. He hadn't had to use any protection at all since he'd been in his 20's. Having a monogamous relationship for all that time meant he didn't really worry about it. Patty used birth control and then stopped during the years they had the kids. So he didn't always think about it with Connie. He knew that meant it could have been any number of times.

Then he read about things like chromosomal issues, things like Down's syndrome and other birth defects, low birth weight, premature delivery. And then for Connie, a host of complications, as well as the strain on her body. He felt a sense of panic, about all of it. Suddenly he felt very protective, of both Connie and the baby she was carrying. He was surprised, when he thought about all that could go wrong, that he felt so much more invested. If she miscarried, it would be his loss too. He felt a knot in his chest when he considered all the possible bad outcomes. If there were health concerns, that would effect him too.

He realized there were tears in his eyes and he wiped them away. He couldn't let her go through this on her own. He didn't _want_ her to go through this on her own. He needed to be there, _wanted_ to be there. He wanted to be there for every doctor appointment, for all the changes she'd go through. He wanted to go get her ice cream or pickles or whatever she craved, in the middle of the night. He wanted to go with her to buy furniture and clothes and whatever the baby would need. He wanted to be there when she went into labor and when the baby was born. And he wanted to be there to watch his son or daughter grow up.

He breathed in deeply. He loved Connie, that much he knew for sure. He wanted to be with her, even though he hadn't gotten to where he'd worked out how that would happen in his mind. She was who he wanted to fall asleep with each night and wake up with every morning. He wanted them to be partners and to support each other. Maybe this baby was the nudge they both needed to figure out how to make that happen. More than anything, he wanted that life with her. It would be hard – he'd need to go through a divorce from Patty and then figure out how they dealt with the kids. He knew his kids might be embarrassed, disappointed, angry. It wasn't the way he would have wanted to make this happen, but the truth was, he wasn't going to let Connie go through this alone.

Suddenly he smiled. The timing was awful, the circumstances were complex, the emotional damage could be hard, but he was excited about the future. He realized he was looking forward to supporting Connie through this and bringing home their baby. _Home_. That's what she was to him. Home.

* * *

The following evening, he drove to her house. It was dark, but not too late. He still couldn't stop thinking about what she'd told him. Still couldn't stop thinking about her pregnant, then having their baby, alone. He'd finally come to the conclusion that it would just all have to be messy, there would be no way to avoid it. But he also knew, without any doubt, he wanted to do this with her. He wouldn't let her do this alone and he was determined they would do it together. It was a gift – this baby – and he knew he was all in.

Now he just needed to tell her.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Sorry for the delay, but I had some technical issues. Everything's good now, so I hope this is worth the wait!**_

**Connie**

It had been two days since she'd told him. She would be leaving the next day for Mexico. By the time she left Mexico, he'd already be back in Nashville. She didn't know what to think. She felt anxious butterflies in her stomach. It was hard to concentrate on anything else.

It was dark out and time for Yoby to go to bed. She read him a story and sang some nursery rhymes with him, before tucking him in. She went into the kitchen to eat a salad, most of which she tossed in the trash. Instead of cravings, she was having food aversions, and not much was appealing. Just as she was turning out the kitchen light, she heard a knock on her door. She frowned. She wasn't expecting anyone. She walked slowly towards the foyer, trying to stay in the shadows. Her phone buzzed and she looked at it, her heart pitter-pattering when she saw it was Chip. She held the phone to her ear. "Hey," she said, softly, turning her back to the door.

"Hey. I'm at your front door." She felt a sense of relief when she heard that and she walked to the door and opened it, without saying another word. He stood on the porch, looking sad. Then he stepped in and pushed the door shut behind him, sweeping her into his arms and kissing her, tugging on her lip until she opened her mouth to his, and then kissed her hungrily as she wound her arms around his neck.

When he finally let her go, she looked up at him, feeling a little dizzy and breathless. "Hey," he said.

She smiled. "Hey."

He breathed in deeply. "I'm sorry the way I left the other day. I just guess I got kind of overwhelmed for a minute." He shook his head. "It wasn't you at all, baby. I just was trying to wrap my mind around what's next, what to do, when to do it." He sighed. "And I did it all wrong. I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me?"

She nodded. "Yes, I forgive you. I don't know if I did it right either."

"No, it wasn't you at all. You did great." He put his hand over her stomach and then looked at her and smiled, a real genuine smile. "A baby then."

She nodded. "Yeah. And I get it, why it took you a minute. It was a lot for _me_ to wrap my mind around."

He frowned then. "But when? That's what I had trouble…."

She interrupted him. "I did too, at first. But I think it was maybe that night you made your Opry debut? I mean, everyone was a little drunk and I went home with you and things got a little, you know, crazy. At least around that time." She smiled a little shyly. "I mean, there were definitely times we were careless."

He grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, we were. But you're pretty goddamn irresistible, you know." He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers.

She felt her cheeks get warm. "So are you."

His hand was still on her stomach. She liked the protective feeling. "How do you feel?"

She smiled. "I'm fine. It's still early, so I'm not feeling much." She made a face. "Except I don't want to eat." She took his hand then and led him to the couch. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back against his chest and closed her eyes, letting herself just enjoy the closeness. He leaned his head against hers and kissed her hair. She heard him breath in, a shaky sound, and twisted around a little to look at him. She was surprised to see tears in his eyes. "Chip," she said softly. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head and she could see him work to control his emotions. "I'm not sad. I'm happy," he said, choking just a little. "I mean, a week ago, it was all different. It was just you and me and it was great, and now" – he choked up again and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment – "it's so much more than that. I mean, we're having a baby and it's great and I'm just so happy to do this with you."

She turned in his arms and sat facing him. She reached out and brushed at the tears in his eyes. She was touched by his emotions, but she didn't want to pressure him into anything. "Really?" He nodded. "Because you know you don't have to decide anything yet. There's still…time."

He pushed her hair back from her face. "All I can think about is trying to figure out what to do."

"I told you, you don't have to _do_ anything."

He shook his head. "That's not what I meant." He breathed in. "I _have_ to tell Patty. And eventually my kids." His eyes had a sadness around them. "Not a small thing. But I want to be here for you, _with_ you, for this baby – _our_ baby – and so I'm going to need to do that. It probably won't be easy, in fact, I _know_ that it won't be."

She put her hand on his arm and bit down on her lower lip. "That could blow…everything up for you, you know. All those years together, as a family."

He looked slightly confused. "But pretty soon you won't be able to hide that you're pregnant. People will want to know."

She shrugged. "That doesn't mean I have to tell anyone. Other women have had babies without telling anyone who the father is."

He frowned. "So you won't say it's mine?"

She shook her head. "That's not what I'm saying. I just want to protect you, Chip. I don't want you to have to, you know, blow up your family, if that's not what you want to do. And I'm not _asking_ you to do that. That's not why I told you. I mean, who knows how you'll feel one day. I just don't want you to feel forced to do something you don't want to do."

He huffed angrily. "I'm not gonna do anything I don't want to, Connie. I get that we didn't know this would happen, but it has. I get that it's gonna be tough on my kids, but really, this just gives me a push to do what I really want. And I, well, I love you. You know that."

He had said that, but now everything had changed. "But our lives are kind of all turned upside down now."

"Yeah, that's true. Maybe this isn't what we expected, but that doesn't mean it's not a good thing. I want us to be together. You know that. You listen – really listen – and you talk to me like we've known each other forever. Being with you feels like home, like where I belong. This baby – _our_ baby – is special. Magical." He breathed in and ran his fingers through her hair. "I want to do this with you, Connie. I want to support you every step of the way and then be there when the baby's born. And raise our son or daughter with you. I want all of that. And you too. Most of all, I want you." She was so overcome with emotion at his words that she burst into tears. He held her closer, brushing the tears from her face. She knew it was the ugly cry and she hated it, but then she also knew it didn't matter with him. "What's wrong, baby?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

She looked up at him and tried to smile, then she laughed a little. "I'm _hormonal_," she said, still laughing. "I'm gonna be a crazy woman and I'll probably cry a lot and feel mopey sometimes, and maybe bitchy too." She put her hand on his face. "I love you, Chip Esten."

He smiled and then kissed her back. "I love you, too, Connie Britton," he said.

**Chip**

He breathed in deeply. "Are you sure _you_ want to do this? With _me_?" he asked. He was excited about the baby, but also a little concerned. She was older – that was true – and that meant lots of things could happen that weren't as common in younger women. He and Patty had never considered things wouldn't go smoothly, but he could sense some apprehension on Connie's part. He was pretty sure she was happy that he wanted to do this with her, but he wanted to be sure.

She nodded. "I do. But it also makes me feel, I don't know, like I would be stepping in the middle of your family. Like I'm a…."

He frowned, knowing she would say something that would make her look calculated. "Don't do that," he said. "This is on me more than you. _I'm_ the one who started all this. You never pushed, never made assumptions. We fell in love. I know it's going to be hard on everyone, but this isn't on you."

"I never thought this would happen," she murmured.

He gave her an encouraging smile. "I know. But it did. And I think that means something. It kind of forces us to acknowledge everything and do something."

"So I think we should wait before you, um, share the news."

He frowned. "Why? Shouldn't I just go ahead and get things rolling?"

She shook her head. "Just wait until I'm past the first trimester." He raised his eyebrows. She shrugged and looked away. "In case something happens."

He drew in his breath sharply. He had read that she was at a higher risk for miscarriage and, of course, there would be testing done for any abnormalities or problems. "I think everything will be fine, Connie," he said.

"Please, Chip," she pleaded. "Just do that for me."

He breathed in slowly, then nodded. "Okay." At least he'd have a little more time to consider how to approach telling Patty and the kids. He could feel the box against his hip. "I have something for you," he said.

She smiled. "You do?"

He nodded and pulled out the box. He held it in front of her and opened it. She gasped a little and he watched her face as she stared at the necklace. She looked up at him. "Oh, Chip, it's beautiful," she murmured.

"I know we weren't going to give Christmas gifts, but I really felt like I wanted to do this. Maybe my subconscious knew something big was coming." He hoped she understood how much she meant to him.

She looked back at the necklace and then reached her hand out and ran her fingers over it. She looked back at him. "You didn't have to do this," she said.

"I wanted to. I love you, Connie. I wanted you to know how much."

She put a hand over her mouth and he could see the tears gathering in her eyes. She laughed a little. "I told you I was gonna be all over the place, emotionally." She picked up the necklace and held it up. "It's gorgeous, Chip."

He nodded towards the necklace. "That stone reminded me of your eyes," he said.

She smiled sweetly. "Will you put it on me?" she asked. He nodded and she turned so her back was to him. He put the necklace around her neck and fastened it. She turned back so he could see. It looked stunning and fell to just above her cleavage. "How does it look?"

"Perfect," he said. She got up then and walked out to the foyer to look in the mirror. He followed her. She was admiring it, a smile on her face. "It's gorgeous. Thanks, babe." She put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him. "I love it. And I love you."

He smiled. "I love you too, baby." He pulled her into his arms. "Unfortunately, I need to head home." He sighed. "So when do you get back to Nashville?"

"The 8th. I'll let you know when I get there."

He nodded. "Are you sure you should go to Mexico?" She looked puzzled. "I mean, eating the food, drinking the water. You know."

She laughed. "I'll be at a resort. The food is fine and I drink bottled water anyway, so I'll be fine."

He laid his hand over her stomach. "Keep this one fine too."

She smiled. "No worries on that. I'm going to do absolutely everything I'm told so we end up with a healthy baby."

He hugged her tight and kissed her. "Well, you and Yoby have fun and I'll see you back in Nashville," he said. Then he reluctantly let her go and opened the front door to let himself out.

**Connie**

The car service pulled up to the curb at LAX. She got out, reaching in for Yoby. She held his hand tightly as she watched the luggage come out of the trunk. It was a relaxed trip, so only two bags to check. The driver walked them over to the baggage check. She gave him a tip, smiling, then turned her attention to her luggage. Yoby was being surprisingly calm and obedient, for which she was grateful. After the bags were checked, she headed into the terminal with her carryon and Yoby in tow.

As they walked to security, she was conscious of the flash of paparazzi cameras. She didn't mind it when she was on the red carpet. That was what it was there for. But she hated the constant attention paid to celebrities in LA. Everyone was trying to get some kind of picture, especially those that felt invasive. It was one thing she appreciated about Nashville. There were certainly more famous people than her living there, and even though there was a certain cachet about the actors on the show, they still got the same treatment. It was as though Nashville was in a protective bubble, with paparazzi nowhere to be found.

She especially disliked the focus on Yoby and pictures of her with her son. She couldn't help but think about the extra attention she'd get when it became obvious she was pregnant. She hurried as much as she could through security to the relative privacy of the concourse, where they couldn't follow. She stopped to pick up snacks in one of the shops along the way and then they finally got to the gate. She found a place to sit, but Yoby wasn't particularly interested in sitting. "Hey, Yobes, help your mom out and sit next to me," she said, then watched Yoby shaking his head firmly. She reached for him anyway, placing him on the seat beside her. He tried to wriggle away, but she held firm. She leaned down to look him in the eye. "Please, sweetie. Mama needs you to be a good boy, okay?" Even though she'd slept reasonably well, she felt exhausted, a symptom she'd read was common in the first trimester. She breathed a sigh of relief when Yoby finally sat still.

Her phone buzzed and she smiled when she saw it was Chip. "Hey," she said when she lifted the phone to her ear.

"You at the airport?"

"I am. Waiting at the gate. We'll start boarding in a few minutes."

"I'll be thinking about you the whole time you're gone," he said and she smiled again. "Just keep in mind you have precious cargo on board."

She laughed. "You did not just say that," she said.

"I sure did. I just want to be sure you take good care of yourself. And our baby." He cleared his throat, as though he were getting emotional again. She knew he was that type, wore his heart on his sleeve. One of the things she loved about him was his sensitivity. "I like saying that. Our baby."

She felt a lump in her throat. "I do too," she whispered.

"Well, I'll let you go, but just be careful. And I'll see you in Nashville."

"I love you, Chip."

"I love you too." When he hung up, she held the phone close to her heart, feeling like she wanted to just sink into the wonderfulness she was feeling but also still a little afraid he wouldn't really think it all through. But she also didn't want to dwell on it, so she took a deep breath and refocused on a magazine she'd brought with her.

* * *

When they finally boarded, she got the two of them settled into their seats, handing her son a juice box and some crackers, and then sitting back in the seat. She thought about the text Chip had sent after he left. _Promise you'll be careful about the water. Don't stay out in the sun. Take naps. Don't go out far in the ocean. Be careful._ She smiled to herself. She had been relieved when he'd come by the previous night, calming some of her fears about his intentions. But she was looking forward a bit, wondering how things would really go when the time came that everyone could see she was pregnant. She did worry about him. He seemed so sure that he wanted to do this with her, and that the end of his marriage was something that would have happened anyway. She worried that he would regret that choice, that he had made it in the initial headiness of her pregnancy.

As they pulled back from the gate and headed for the taxiway, she couldn't help but wonder if any of it was the right thing to do. She planned to have the baby, of course, but she also knew that acknowledging he was the father would cause problems he might not have really thought through. She told herself she wouldn't push, wouldn't insist on anything, leaving things open for him to change his mind if the reality was too daunting. It was so complicated. On the one hand, she'd be devastated to lose him, but on the other, she didn't want to ever force him to make that choice. She sighed. _How did I let myself get into this predicament?_

_She had tried, several times, to end things. Not because she wanted to, but because she felt incredible guilt. The first time was two days after they'd had sex for the first time. She had told him when they both got to the set, that she didn't think it was something they should do again. It had been great in the moment, but she wasn't looking to break up his marriage and she certainly wasn't going to be some man's mistress. He had just nodded. He looked so sad, she'd almost changed her mind, but she held firm. It was the same day they filmed the scene at Percy Warner Park, and the emotions she felt had been heightened by how parallel that felt to her. The pull had been too great, though, and it was her turn to make the move, texting him late one night. He'd been at her door in less than thirty minutes._

_About a month later, she'd done it again, but seeing him on set had ended that. The last time she'd tried, she had ended up calling him from the lobby of his apartments, risking being recognized. 'I can't,' she'd told him. 'Can't what?' he'd asked. 'I can't not be with you. For however long it lasts.' He had then let her upstairs, fucking her in the kitchen as she grasped the edge of the counter. The thrill she'd felt having him take her from behind like that led to one of the best orgasms she'd ever had._

She felt hot all over. She couldn't resist him, that was for sure. She glanced over and saw that Yoby was sleeping. She refocused on the sky outside the plane. It was hard for her to think about Chip and not acknowledge how much he could satisfy her. It was more than that though. He was solid, a good man. He made her laugh. He loved Yoby. She looked over at her sleeping son again and smiled, then put her hand over her stomach. This baby meant they would always be connected, no matter what. But now she dared to hope that it could mean a future for them as well.

She closed her eyes then and gave into her first trimester exhaustion, falling asleep easily. She didn't wake until the plane touched down on the runway, startling her awake. She breathed in deeply, blinking her eyes rapidly, then looked over at Yoby, who was playing quietly with a couple of his stuffed animals. He seemed to sense she was awake and looked up at her with a blissful smile on his little face. "Hey, mama. We here."

She smiled at him. "Yes, we sure are." She definitely was ready for some girlfriend time.

**Chip**

He would like to have stayed longer at Connie's, but he didn't want to have to explain where he'd been to Patty. She would not have been suspicious, necessarily, but it would have been odd for him to be out late at night like that. He thought about Connie and Yoby going to Mexico the next day. Ordinarily he wouldn't worry, but now he did, even if there was really no need. She had told him she was not hungry and wasn't eating a lot, which concerned him by itself, but he realized he was probably going to worry about everything now. It made him wish he hadn't done all that internet research. He kept reminding himself everything would likely be fine, but it made him want to be with her already. She was right, though. Better to wait until she was farther along.

He sighed. He didn't remember feeling anxious like this when Taylor, Chase and Addie came along. Maybe it was because he was young then, when it felt like he was more invincible, that nothing would ever go wrong. That feeling had, of course, gone away when Addie was diagnosed with leukemia, and wouldn't go away for years. Some of that old feeling, he knew, was surfacing now. He was glad that, in about a week, they'd both be back in Nashville and he could keep a closer eye on her. Be there should she need anything.

He also felt a warm sensation, thinking that he and Connie would now always have a connection, no matter what surprises life might throw at them. Even though what he wanted was for them to truly be together, he knew they would at least always be parents together. Thinking of that made him thoughtful. She kept saying she didn't want him to do something that he might regret one day. Was she trying to gently push him away? He didn't really think so, but he couldn't say he was totally sure. He thought about the Sunday night after his Opry debut, after his cousins had left town. He had driven to her house. As they lay in bed together, arms and legs all entangled, their conversation had eventually turned to the future.

_He still felt his heart beating hard and, as he pulled her in a little closer, he could feel the light dampness of her skin. Or maybe it was his or both of theirs. It didn't matter. Her right breast was tantalizingly close to his chest and he moved his hand to gently tug on her still taut nipple. She made a little purring noise in the back of her throat, a satisfied little smile on her face. She let her fingers glide up and down his hip as he kept tugging and kneading. The sex had been rough and exhilarating, which left them both more winded than normal. Part of the reason was that it had been almost a week since they'd been together and it had been heightened by how frisky she'd been with him after the Opry performance, when they had been out with his cousins._

_He smiled to himself as he remembered sitting next to her in the booth at Patterson's, his cousins across from them. At some point, she'd laid her hand on his upper thigh, eventually moving closer and closer to his crotch. He was already getting hard and she wasn't helping. And then, suddenly, she put her hand over him, letting the heel of her hand rub against him. He hadn't wanted things to go farther, so he had covered her hand, gently and surreptitiously moving it away. He had needed to make her pay for that, in the most enjoyable way possible. She had already surprised him by being a little more bawdy than he would have expected, but as she had told him, back when they first started seeing each other, 'I love sex. I mean, __really__ love it'. She had definitely been telling the truth. It felt like he was always learning something new about her._

_She scratched at his cheek and he looked down at her face. She looked relaxed, with that just-been-fucked look that softened her features. "What are you thinking about, my love?" she murmured._

_He breathed in and moved his hand around her back. "You," he finally said._

_She smiled. "What about me?"_

"_How right it feels, being with you."_

"_It does feel right, doesn't it?" Her face turned serious. "But…it's so complicated."_

"_I know." He shook his head. "But it doesn't have to be."_

_She frowned a little. "You're married, Chip," she said quietly. "What happens…."_

"_I don't know," he said, cutting her off, hearing a gruffness he didn't mean creep into his voice. "What I __do__ know is that I want __this__." He wagged his finger between the two of them. "We're gonna figure this out, I promise. Soon."_

He meant it then and he meant it now. But he couldn't help but wonder if she knew exactly what that meant.

**Connie**

She got to the resort in Cabo a little later than the rest of her girlfriends. Even though it was New Year's Eve, she waved off wine and champagne. When Carla looked at her oddly, she surreptitiously inclined her head towards her bedroom. She closed the door when her friend was in the room.

Carla turned to face her. "What's going on, Connie? It's not like you to turn down wine."

"Well, you know." She made a face. "Um, remember I went to see the doctor a few days ago?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I didn't go to the doc in the box. I went to my own doctor. Something you said sort of clicked and I thought I needed to check it out."

Carla knitted her brow, then her eyes flew open. "Are you…pregnant?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, not able to hide her smile. "Yes, I am." Then she put her finger over her mouth. "But I'm not telling anyone else right now, you know, since I'm a" – she rolled her eyes – "geriatric mom."

Carla frowned. "What the hell is a geriatric mom?"

"Older mom. Older than forty, for sure."

"What the hell does that even mean?" Carla stopped then and walked over to her, throwing her arms around her. "I'm sorry, but congratulations! I know this is something you had always wanted. Are you happy about this?"

She nodded. "I am." Then she grinned. "I'm _so_ happy about it, actually."

"So go back and tell me about this older mom thing."

"Well, there are more risks. In fact, I'm at an age where the risks are really high for things like miscarriage and disabilities and low birth weight. And it's riskier for me too."

Carla took her hands. "But you're healthy, girlfriend," she said. "You always take care of yourself and eat right and all that."

She shrugged. "I try. But some things are just out of our control, you know?"

Carla nodded. "Yeah, I guess." Then she frowned. "I don't understand though. You haven't been seeing anybody. In a long time."

She breathed in and then shook her head. "That's not true, actually." She laughed a little. "Well, obviously, I guess."

"Is it someone in Nashville? Someone we don't know?"

She nodded. "Yes, it's someone in Nashville."

"Who?"

She couldn't help it. She smiled. "Chip."

Carla frowned. "Chip? Who's Chip?" Then her eyes widened. "Oh, the guy who plays your lover?"

She laughed. "He doesn't play my _lover_. My _ex_-lover."

"Whatever. He's that deliciously sexy man, right? The one you said was so hot?"

"Yes."

"But I thought he was married. Did something happen? Did they separate?"

She shook her head. "No." She sat down on the bed and lowered her head. "I feel terrible. I never imagined something like this would happen to me."

Carla sat next to her. "You mean, that you'd get pregnant?"

She looked up at her friend. "Really more that I'd get involved with a married man. Getting pregnant just complicates it exponentially." She sighed. "It all happened so quickly and I felt like I couldn't stop myself. I tried several times to end it, but I just couldn't." She felt tears well up in her eyes. "I love him, Carla. I mean, he's my soulmate, if you believe in that kind of thing. But he's the one I'm meant to be with, I _know_ that. Only it's wrong and it will hurt so many people, including the two of us." She paused. "And our baby."

Carla looked so sympathetic that she very nearly broke down. Her friend put her arms around her. "The heart wants what the heart wants, sweetie," she said compassionately. "How does he feel about all this?"

"He says he's happy about it and that he wants to do it with me, but it could blow up his whole life."

Carla sighed. "It sounds a little like you're worried he really won't be around," she said.

She shrugged. "It's just so very complicated. I believe he loves me, I really do. But he loves his kids. And I get that things with his wife aren't…the best. I mean, I don't think they fight all the time or anything, but from what he's said, they've kind of run out of gas. But it's not a simple thing to leave your family." She sighed. "I think he means what he says, but I also think he hasn't really thought through all the ramifications. So, I guess I'm holding my breath." She sighed again. "I'm terrified and I'm exhilarated and I'm holding my breath, all at once."

Carla looked at her again with sympathy. "Oh, Connie, sweetheart, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away. Or make it all work out the way that will make you happy."

She smiled gratefully at her friend. "Thanks, babe." Just then the door opened and they both looked in that direction.

"What are you two magpies doing in here?" asked Alex, one of the other women on the trip.

She laughed, glad to not think about being pregnant and unsure of what the future held for her and her baby. "Just catching up," she said.

"Well, we've got a whole amazing spread out here and the two of you need to get out here and eat it," Alex said. Then she turned on her heel and walked out, leaving the door open.

"I guess she told us," Carla said with a laugh. She stood up, grabbing her hand and pulling her up too. "You can eat, can't you?"

She made a face. "It depends. My appetite has practically gone away. I actually get turned off by food, if you can believe that."

Carla shook her head, a wry smile on her face. "Well, let's get out there anyway. I mean, it's New Year's Eve and we're with the best women friends in the world. Let's party!" She walked out of the room.

She stood there for a moment, her hand over her stomach. _I just want everything to be perfect for this one. That's my wish for the new year._ She breathed in deeply, then turned out the light and followed her friend.

**Chip**

His last night in LA was low key. The whole family went out to dinner, then came back and settled down in front of the TV. He had a hard time focusing on TV, as well as conversations. His thoughts kept going back to Connie and the baby. He remembered his excitement back when he and Patty started their family. He had often wondered back then whether he would be a good dad, whether they were even making the right decision to have kids, when their lives were still a little shaky. An actor's life could be very uncertain. It often seemed like half of LA were fledgling actors and all of them were fighting for the same roles. Patty had a steady job, which had afforded him the opportunity to be selective about what he did. But then it turned out that he was always in the running but mostly not the first choice. His career wasn't going the way he'd planned and so, when they talked about having children, he wasn't sure they were fully prepared.

But as soon as Taylor was born, he had felt a love he'd never known before. It was nothing like the love he'd had for Patty. It was an all-consuming protective love. An I'll-do-anything-for-this-kid kind of love. He was sure Taylor was the prettiest, smartest, most talented child on the planet. He loved to hold her, feed her, give her baths, and read her stories, even when she was teeny tiny. When Chase and Addie came along, it was no different. Addie's cancer had taught him the depth and breadth of his love for his children. They were the greatest gifts he'd ever received. He was certain the son or daughter he and Connie would have would be just as dear to his heart.

He had looked at the kids surreptitiously all day, thinking about that bond between a parent and a child. Thinking about the bond between a husband and wife as they became parents. And then how it could be unwound in the darkest of times, impossible to get back. He had mourned the loss of the closeness and intimacy he and Patty had had, but at the same time recognizing that what they'd thought held them together was a mirage.

He got up and walked into the kitchen to get a beer out of the fridge. When he walked back to the den, he stood for a moment, looking at them, his family. Patty had her arm around Taylor's shoulders and they were sitting close, their heads bent towards each other. Chase was sprawled out on the recliner and Addie was sitting on the floor, too close to the TV, he thought. He had a lump in his throat as he thought about what he would need to say to them, about Connie, about the baby. Telling them about Connie would be tough on its own, but adding that she was pregnant created a very different and awkward story.

He imagined that knowing your spouse had been unfaithful – cheated, truthfully – would be a difficult pill to swallow. Patty could respond with anger, hurt, vindictiveness, could turn the kids against him. Any or all of those things. He couldn't imagine how he'd even start the conversation, even just to tell her he'd been involved with Connie. And then to have to follow up the admission he'd been cheating with the additional bombshell that she was pregnant and he had no idea what to expect.

He realized that he might have not told Patty right away if not for the pregnancy. But that was going to be something he couldn't hide, wouldn't deny. He had realized early on that he not only loved Connie, but that she was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. At some point, he'd have to deal with it, but he had not really formulated a plan for that. He and Connie might have continued in secrecy for some time. But she was pregnant. And instead of that feeling like a complication, an unfortunate turn of events, he'd found himself, once he'd gotten over the shock of it, feeling like it happened in order to give them the nudge to confront it all. Just as he'd embraced going through all of that with Patty, he knew he wanted it with Connie now.

He wanted to be there to hold her hair back if she had morning sickness. He wanted to massage her feet and shoulders and back when she was far enough along that those things began to be common complaints. He wanted to take care of her, pamper her. He had already imagined her as her belly got larger and he wanted to go through everything with her – doctor appointments, nursery shopping, going to Lamaze classes – and then he wanted to bring her home and make love to her, letting her know that, in his eyes, she had never been more beautiful. He wanted to be there through labor and the birth of the baby, holding her hand, wiping off her face, and then watching as their baby came into the world. And then he wanted to bring them home so they could raise their baby together. But he knew there would be pain and heartbreak all mixed together with joy and happiness and it twisted him up inside.

He realized then that he'd finished his beer and got another one before he walked back into the den.

* * *

He walked down the concourse to his gate. He had gone to bed early the night before and pretended to be asleep when Patty came in the bedroom. Now he was heading back to Nashville and Connie would be back in a few days after that, and his intentions were to tell her, again, that he wanted a life with her and their baby, and remind her he wanted to stand beside her every step of the way. He wasn't sure she completely believed that and he knew he needed to convince her. And make sure that was what she wanted too.

As the plane raced across the country, he wondered what she was doing right then, if she was eating right and being careful about the water. Was she taking it easy and resting? Was she scared about what could happen? Was she spending too much time, like he had, reading all the terrible things that could happen? He hoped not, but he was sure it weighed on her. She wanted him to wait to tell people or to make a decision about leaving his family, until she'd passed the first trimester. _In case something happens._

He wanted to be there for her though. The good news was that when they were both back in Nashville, it would be easier. He'd be there to watch over her, could be with her more often. He breathed in sharply and rubbed his hands over his face. He just needed to see her.

* * *

He'd been back in Nashville for three days when she called him. He smiled when he saw her name on his phone. "Hey," he said as he lifted the phone to his ear.

"Hey." He had missed her voice. She sounded like honey laced bourbon, a comfortable voice he felt like he could relax into. "We just got back."

"Are you at the airport or home already?"

"Home. Yoby's exhausted, so I'm going to put him to bed as soon as he finishes his chicken fingers." She paused. "Do you have plans tonight?"

"No, I don't."

"Could you come over? I thought maybe it would be good for us to talk about everything, now that we've had a few days to really think about it all, and what's next." He thought he heard something in her voice, but then thought maybe it was just him projecting. "Maybe in an hour?"

"Yeah, I can do that. I'll see you in an hour."

"Chip," she said.

"Yeah?"

There was a slight pause. "I really missed you. I can't wait to see you."

He smiled. "I feel the same." He breathed out. "I'll see you soon."


	4. Chapter 4

**Connie**

She disconnected the phone and looked at Yoby, sitting perpendicular to her. She smiled. "You like those, buddy?" she asked. He nodded enthusiastically as he chewed. She could still see the droop around his eyes that signaled he was tired. She loved that he was such a good sport about traveling and that he was so well-behaved. He was a happy boy and flight attendants loved him. And the people who sat around them loved that he didn't cry or screech, like some kids did. She hoped the new baby was just as well-behaved.

She reached out and snagged a chicken finger and took a bite. She wasn't craving it, but it satisfied her, and that was as much as she could hope for these days. She opened up the honey mustard packet and barely dipped the chicken into it, lifting it to her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully as she decided the sauce wasn't bad.

She still had to remind herself sometimes that she was even pregnant. She didn't look like it, of course, but she also wasn't feeling all the things she thought she would. She had bought a book, unnecessarily telling the salesclerk at the bookstore that it was for a friend who'd just found out she was pregnant. She had taken it with her to Mexico, hidden in her suitcase, only pulling it out at night, when she was in bed and alone.

She was surprised that she wasn't having more pregnancy symptoms. She was certainly tired and definitely hormonal, but except for the one day when she felt nauseous, that had not come back. She would peek a little ahead to see what was to come, but had decided she just wanted to live in the moment with it. She put her hand over her abdomen, wondering when she would no longer have a flat or nearly flat stomach and when she would need to talk to Callie about her situation. This could impact not only the end of the first season, but the beginning of the second, if they were renewed. She sighed.

She glanced over at Yoby and smiled. He had a half-eaten chicken finger in his hand and his head was tilted towards his right shoulder, his eyes closed and his mouth open as he breathed. She stood up, gently taking the chicken from his fingers and then lifted him up. "No, Mama," he said softly, not even opening his eyes. She balanced him on her hip and took him upstairs. He already had his pajamas on, so it was easy to put him to bed. She stood by the crib, looking down at him and her heart filled with love. She tried to imagine him with a little brother or sister, who would follow him around and look up to him. They'd be close in age, which she thought would be good. She ran her fingers over his cheek and then turned to walk out of the room.

She went into her room to change clothes, but she sat on the edge of the bed instead. She breathed in deeply. She would get her script for the next episode the next day and then the following Monday would be the table read. But she and Chip had to film the one scene that was a backstage scene on Friday. She always loved her scenes with him, had from the very beginning. Once they'd gotten together, it had always felt like they had a delicious little secret between them. She'd want to smile at him, he'd want to do the same, but they couldn't play it that way. But things wouldn't be a secret anymore. At least not for long.

She sighed and then got up and walked to her closet. She got out of her traveling clothes and put on yoga pants and an oversized sweater. She sat back down on the bed and pulled on Uggs. She let herself fall back on the bed, spreading her arms out on either side of her. She was pretty sure Chip would stay the night. That gave her a warm feeling inside. She always loved waking up to him in the morning. Morning sex was always sweet and tender, when they were both still groggy from sleep. She loved the feel of his warm skin on hers, his hands on her body, lips everywhere. She squeezed her legs together, feeling the curl of want start to make her twitchy for him.

He would probably be over soon, so she made herself get up and walk down to the kitchen. She cleaned up and then made herself some tea. She sat on one of the stools at the island and, picking up the tea cup in both hands, began to sip. She would call Callie the next morning and make an appointment for some time with her. She wasn't sure how she would say the words, but thought Chip might help her. Just as she had that thought, a knock came at the front door. She put the cup down and smiled to herself. She slid off the stool and ran to the front door.

When she opened the door, he was standing there looking all sexy and delicious, a smile on his face. She practically swooned and felt warm down between her legs. He was her lover, the love of her life, the father of her baby, and the best man she knew. She adored him, in a way she'd never felt about a man before and in a way she'd never expected to feel. He stepped into the foyer and kissed her, letting his tongue open her lips, then swirl around her mouth. He pushed the door shut behind him, with his foot, and then wrapped her up in his arms, kissing her like he hadn't seen her in a thousand years. When he finally pulled his lips from hers and he looked into her eyes, she was breathless. "Hey," he said, with a big grin.

She smiled back. "Hey."

He pulled her into his arms again. "I'm so glad to see you," he said. She heard a little gruffness in his voice, as though his emotions were close to the surface.

She hugged him. "Me too." She stepped out of his embrace. "You wanna talk first?"

"I don't, actually," he said with a laugh. "But maybe we should."

She gave him a sly smile and then, taking his hand, led him to the couch.

**Chip**

He wanted to give her enough time to get Yoby down, so it had been hard to wait. It usually took him about twenty minutes to get to her house but he found himself pressing harder on the accelerator. The anticipation was feeding him like adrenaline. The idea of her being pregnant had consumed his mind. There was a little bit of proud _I did this_, a little bit of _wow, this is a big deal_, and a lot of that mix of excitement and prayers that all would go well. He remembered that he felt both anxious and thrilled when Patty found out she was pregnant with Taylor. He knew there were so many other things that needed to come first before he and Connie could really start to enjoy it, but he was looking forward to everything.

In his mind, he pictured her just before she'd give birth. He imagined her in shorts and a top that would probably fit snugly over her bump. She'd have sandals on her feet, her hair pulled up into a ponytail, wearing her glasses. And a big, happy smile. Then he thought about her holding their baby – for some reason, when he imagined it, it was a girl – her face flushed and glistening. She'd be smiling then too, as she counted the baby's fingers and toes, then let the baby wrap her tiny hand around her finger. Then she'd come home and they'd watch her in her crib, hold her and rock her and just enjoy getting to know their new baby. He could feel dampness in his eyes and he swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.

As he drove into her neighborhood and then down her street, he felt like he was about to burst. He pulled into her driveway and turned off the car. He reached for his phone and turned off the ringer. Then he got out, pushed the phone down into his back pocket, and jogged up the front walk and then up the steps to the front porch. He reached out and knocked on the door, then waited.

When she opened the door, his heart started beating faster. He didn't think he'd ever not seen her look beautiful, whether she was dressed for a red carpet event or dressed down, like she was then, in yoga pants and a sweater that looked as soft as feathers, her hair draped down her back and over her shoulders and one of her many pairs of glasses on. He didn't say anything, just stepped into the foyer and kissed her. He let his tongue trail over her lips and she opened her mouth willingly to his, as he pushed the door shut behind him. He pulled her into his arms and held her close, reveling in the closeness and the intimacy of the kiss. After a long moment, he pulled his lips from hers. "Hey," he said, once again feeling leveled by how much he loved her.

* * *

He was sitting in one corner of the couch. Surprisingly she sat facing him, her legs crossed in front of her. He noticed she had a sun-kissed look to her face, which sort of gave her eyes an extra twinkle and accentuated her freckles, giving her a very youthful appearance. She clasped her hands together. "So, I was careful with what I ate and drank," she said, with a playful smile. "At least, what I actually ate was healthy." She screwed her face up a little. "I'm still struggling a little with having an appetite." She held one finger up. "Which is normal, I was told, so no need to worry." He smiled. "But I wanted you to know that."

He chuckled. "Thanks for telling me." He reached for her hand and she held tightly to it. "I'm guessing you had a good time."

She nodded. "I did." She took a deep breath. "I did tell my friend Carla. About the baby. About us. I hope that's okay." He was a little surprised and not really sure how he felt about it. "I hope you're okay with that, but she noticed I wasn't drinking. And I can _trust_ her."

He breathed in. He considered that it meant something that she was open with her friend about them. It made it feel more real though and, surprisingly, it was his turn to feel a little less ready, a little more like he wanted them to just keep it for them for a little while longer. "Sure. I guess so."

She bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I know it's not fair, after I asked you not to."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it." He reached for her hand. "Connie, I know this is gonna be complicated. For both of us. And I feel like all I've been doing is thinking about all this and what it means for us. A lot of things'll change. Truthfully, I know it'll be tough for my family, maybe impossible…."

She put her hand on his knee. "I understand. I do. This is so much more complicated for you, which is why I told you you don't have to _do_ anything. I wouldn't blame you, Chip. You have so much more to lose. I'll be okay." He stopped her from talking by leaning forward and kissing her. Then he looked at her earnestly.

"I love you, baby," he said, his tone intense. "I love you and I want to do this with you, by your side. Yes, it's gonna be painful. I don't know what to expect, and I guess I'm trying to be prepared for the worst. I'm hoping it wouldn't be like that forever, but I can't let you do this alone, no matter how strong you are and no matter how sure you are that you don't need me. This is the future. For both of us, together." He could see tears on her cheeks and he reached out and wiped them away with his thumb. "Don't push me away, baby," he pleaded.

The tears kept coming, but she let out a shaky laugh and smiled. "I want you to be with me, Chip. I just don't want to be selfish."

He pulled her towards him, onto his lap, and held her close. "You could never be selfish," he said. "I appreciate that you don't want to cause trouble for me or feel like you've made things more complicated, but you need to let me do this." He kissed her on her temple. "I want to marry you, Connie, as soon as I can. Be a family with you and this baby and Yoby. And hopefully, my kids too."

She gasped and sat up, looking him directly in the eyes. "Chip," she whispered. She shook her head and he felt his heart sink. "Not yet," she said. "We can't talk about that yet. Everything is unknown right now."

He pulled her back against his shoulder. "I know," he murmured. "But I want you to know how serious I am about this."

She lifted her head and looked at him again. "I love you," she said. "And I love you wanting to do this." He waited for a but, but it didn't come. She put her hand on his cheek, her eyes seeming to search his. Then she pressed her lips to his. They opened their mouths to each other and then she was wrapping her arms around his neck and he was pulling her closer, his arms around her waist, feeling like they had just made a decision.

**Connie**

She felt herself shiver just a little. It could have been because she was laying naked on her bed, but it was more likely that the man next to her, also naked, was looking at her in a way that told her he wanted to make exquisite love to her. Again. He was lightly running his fingers down her abdomen, then touching her lightly between her legs. She felt a white hot zinger course through her body, leaving her tingling from her head to her toes.

No man had ever made her feel the way he did, with just the lightest touch. She was almost unaware she had opened her legs a little wider until she felt a little more pressure from his fingers. She felt like she was melting from the inside out and she pressed her bottom into the mattress, a little involuntary moan escaping her lips. He inserted just the tip of his finger inside her, then leaned over to kiss her. She lifted herself up slightly, trying to let him know she wanted him to slide his finger completely inside her, but he was teasing her with just that little bit of touch, knowing it drove her wild.

"Connie," he whispered. She opened her eyes and looked over at him, her head tilted just slightly. He was propped up on his elbow, looking down at her. He slid his hand up over her abdomen and stretched it out flat. He bit lightly on his lower lip, his eyes dark with emotion, and breathed in slightly. Then he frowned. "It's okay to do this, right?" he asked.

She gazed into his eyes for a moment, then smiled. "You mean, because I'm geriatric?" she asked.

His face went from serious to amused and he laughed. "That's just not right," he said.

She smiled more broadly. "That is true," she said with a chuckle. "And yes, it is more than okay." She turned towards him. "In fact, I insist upon it." He put his arm around her then, pulling her closely against his chest. She laid her hand on the small of his back, fitting herself along the length of him, as he leaned down and kissed her, exploring her lips and mouth, then letting his hand glide down her back and over her bottom.

He pressed her full against him, and she could feel how much he wanted her. She moaned a little and slid her leg up over his. He groaned deep in his throat, rolling her onto her back and then entering her in one swift movement. She felt like she could see stars behind her eyelids for a second and then she let herself be carried away by the feeling of him pushing in farther and deeper until her mind was completely taken over by how amazing he felt inside her and how wonderful she felt and finally how much she loved this man and couldn't imagine her life without him in it.

**Chip**

He opened his eyes to the sunlight. Connie was tucked into him and his arm was draped around her, his hand at her waist. He blinked his eyes several times, adjusting to the light. She felt warm against his chest, her breathing slow and even. They'd made love twice and then fell asleep in each other's arms. There had been no more talking, although there were so many things to say and decide. He closed his eyes again, hoping he might be able to drift back to sleep.

"Mama!" Yoby's voice blurted out from the baby monitor and his eyes immediately opened again.

Connie stirred in his arms and then pushed herself up. She slid off the bed and grabbed a robe from the chair. He caught a glimpse of her naked body as she wrapped the robe around herself and then tied the belt at her waist. Nothing about her really looked different yet, except he did think her breasts might have been a little bigger. It would be a while, he knew, before she would start to develop a baby bump, but he found himself looking forward to that.

She smiled at him apologetically, as she stepped into her slippers. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice husky with sleep.

He shook his head and sat up. "It's okay. Go get him and I'll meet you downstairs. I'll make coffee."

She made a face and stuck her tongue out. "No coffee for me, babe. But starting the water boiling for tea would be nice."

He slid out of bed and stood up. "I can do that." He noticed her cheeks got a little pink, as she stared at his crotch. He grinned. "_You_ can do _that_ later," he said with a chuckle.

She rolled her eyes, but he could see it was playful. "Oh, God, Chip, you're impossible," she said, with a tiny smile, and then headed for the door.

"Impossible to resist!" he called out after her, still laughing. He picked his clothes up off the floor and got dressed.

Just before lunch, he was watching her read to Yoby. Her son was sitting on her lap, leaning his head on her shoulder, the tip of his index finger in his mouth, transfixed by the book and his mother's voice. She had her arms loosely around him, holding the book in his hands and looking down at him periodically. She was going to be a great mother to _their_ child, he thought to himself. He thought about the fact that in a year, they could be spending a day together just like this, except that maybe he would be reading to Yoby and she would be holding their son or daughter.

_This is what I want. Just exactly this._

She looked up at him, a confused look on her face. "What is what you want?" she asked, and he realized she'd said the words he'd thought were just in his head out loud.

He raised his eyebrows, feeling a little sheepish. "This," he said, waving a finger back and forth between them. "You, me, Yoby, our baby. Making our own little family. Together." She didn't say anything, but he knew what she was thinking. "There will be pain, Connie. I know that. Maybe my kids will turn away for good, but I hope not. I hope this new brother or sister brings us all together." He breathed in. "I'm not giving up on this. I'm gonna stay right here with you."

She looked at him for a moment. Then she gave him a tiny smile and nodded. "I know," she said.

**Connie**

It was after lunch and they were sitting together on the couch. He had his arm around her and their heads were tilted towards each other. She had her script in her hands and they were skimming over it. She stabbed her finger on the page. "There," she said. "Almost to the end and that's the first time Deacon and Rayna have a scene together."

He took the script from her and skimmed quickly, flipping through the pages. Then he looked at her and smiled. "It's a good one though." He grinned. "And all the rest of the scenes in the hospital. Those are really deep scenes."

She made a face. "Yeah, I guess you're right. They are significant, aren't they?"

"What I like the most is that it colors in a little more of Deacon and Rayna's history."

She nodded. "That's true. I mean, now we know for sure that they knew each other before her father kicked her out. Probably involved with each other too, don't you think?"

"I do," he said, then leaned down and kissed her. "She bewitched him from the very beginning." She smiled and then laughed. He smiled back at her. "She _did_. She met him, they fell in love, and he took her innocence from her."

She laughed again. "Deacon Claybourne, cradle robber." She leaned back against him. "I just love how he knows she needs him and _she_ knows she needs him. No one else but him. He centers her the way no one else can."

He nodded. "I think the first part of this shows how deeply they know each other. He knew to go to her and I think she somehow knew he would come. And then they realize they're dangerously close to the line and she says the one thing that breaks the mood."

She smiled. "Yeah. Stacy." She gave him a sassy look. "I wish she didn't hold on so hard to the past and that she'd let herself relax and realize he's the only man she wants." She drew her legs up to her chest and then leaned her head on his shoulder. She breathed in, then out. "I have a doctor's appointment next week. Do you want to go with me?"

"Yeah, if I'm not filming that day." He paused. "You sure you want me to, this early?'

She shrugged. "Doctors are supposed to keep things confidential." She turned her head to look up at him. "I want you to be part of all of this."

He nodded. "Then I'll make it work."

She sat quietly leaning her head back. Finally she turned to him. "I'm not going to tell Callie yet. Just in case, you know?" He nodded. "When I get through the first trimester, same as everyone else."

He frowned. "You worried something will happen?"

"I'm trying not to be." She gave him a tiny smile. "I'm sure I've read too much and I'm freaking myself out."

He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her, making her feel safe. "I did that too." She turned her head to look at him. "So I keep telling myself it's gonna be fine. You're healthy and you take care of yourself and it's gonna be good. None of that stuff's gonna happen to you or to the baby."

She hoped he was right.

**Chip**

He kept checking the time, feeling more and more impatient as the minutes wore on. He was filming a scene that started with Susan and ended with Jonathan and it seemed like it was taking forever to set up outside the hotel. Connie's appointment was at 4:00 and he was afraid he was going to be really late. He kept shifting back and forth from one foot to the other. The later it got the worse traffic would be, which would just push him back further.

"You got somewhere you need to be?" He turned at the voice behind him.

He smiled at Susan. "Kind of," he said.

"I'll try not to screw up any lines, then."

He couldn't help but laugh. "Me too." He wondered what his coworkers would think when they found out he and Connie were together and having a baby. There would be some awkwardness around it, he felt sure, but hopefully it wouldn't last. Just then he heard them being called for their scene. He looked at Susan. "I guess it's our chance to prove we can be perfect," he said with a grin.

**Connie**

She changed into the exam gown and then sat on the exam table. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost 4:30 and Chip still wasn't there. He'd texted her to let her know they were running behind and, while she was disappointed, she also knew there wouldn't be anything special going on at this appointment. She had just wanted him to feel included.

There was a gentle knock on the door and then it opened. Dr. Hamilton walked in. it was the first appointment she was having with her Nashville doctor, and she found that she liked her on sight. Dr. Hamilton didn't look much older than her and she had a pleasant smile and demeanor. She felt at ease already. Dr. Hamilton held out her hand. "Connie?" She nodded. "I'm glad to meet you. Is your partner here?"

She shook her head. "He's running late at work. I'm hoping he's on his way though."

"Well, this is just a baseline appointment, so if he can't get here this time, he won't have missed anything crucial." She walked up and pressed her stethoscope against her chest. "We got you weighed and all that. I just really need to get some vital signs and then we can talk about things. What you are expecting, what you're concerned about, that sort of thing." She smiled. "Why don't you lay back?"

She laid back and put her feet in the stirrups, as directed. She looked up at the ceiling as Dr. Hamilton checked her out, her hands clasped over her stomach. Just then, the door to the room opened, and she gasped. The exam table was positioned so that it was not facing the door, but she still felt exposed. Then she breathed a sigh of relief and smiled when she saw it was Chip. He walked over beside her and took her hand.

"I'm sorry," he said. "You know how things are."

She nodded. "That I do. But you're here for the important part." She was getting an early ultrasound. The doctor had explained that it was mostly to check that everything was where it should be and that they'd be able to detect the heartbeat.

He leaned over her and brushed her lips with a kiss. "I'm glad I didn't miss it." He looked up at the doctor. "Is everything else okay?"

Dr. Hamilton nodded. "She's healthy. Only gained a half pound. We ran a few tests and when I get the results back, we can go over anything we see." she smiled. "Are there any unusual symptoms you're having?"

She shrugged. "Well, I'm having food aversions instead of cravings. Is that normal?"

"We more frequently see cravings, but aversions aren't uncommon. Just make sure to take those prenatal vitamins, which will help make sure you get all the right nutrients."

She breathed in, then tapped her left breast. "How long will my breasts stay sore?"

"A little while longer. That's normal too. Have you noticed them getting larger?"

Chip chuckled and she rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh, yes. I was already pretty booby anyway, so I didn't really need to get bigger."

Dr. Hamilton smiled. "Just one more normal thing. So, are you ready for that ultrasound?"

"Yes," they both said together.

* * *

She sat in the passenger seat of Chip's car, squinting at the ultrasound picture. "It's practically invisible," she said. She pointed at the little arrow next to a black dot. "I can't believe that's it." She looked at him.

He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Pretty amazing, right?"

She nodded, then looked back at the picture. "I hope I'm a good mom," she said.

"You're already a good mom, baby," he said. "You've done a great job with Yoby."

She looked at him. "I hope I'm a good mom before he or she is even born. I want to do everything right so I keep this baby safe as long as possible."

He frowned slightly. "You will.

"That's sweet of you to say, but you read everything too. A lot of things can happen."

He took the picture from her hand and laid it on the console, then took her hands in his, looking at her very seriously. "Connie, I know you. You'll do everything the doctor says and more. You'll be careful and you'll eat right and get enough rest, plus I'm gonna take care of you." He smiled a little and it softened the frown. "You'll get every test there is and every single one will tell you the baby is fine."

She bit down on her lip. "You don't know that for sure," she said.

He leaned over the console and kissed her. "Yes, I do. I believe that and I want you to believe it too." He let go of her hands then and put his key in the ignition. "So let's go home and start planning."

She laughed and put a hand on his arm. "I drove myself, babe," she said.

He rolled his eyes playfully. "That's right, you did," he said with a laugh.

She smiled. "You know, I'm kind of exhausted from all this. Would you mind if I just went home and crashed?"

The smile faded from his face. "You don't want company?" he asked, sounding a little forlorn.

"I'm always happy for you to come over, but truly, Chip, I'm going straight to bed when I get Yoby down."

"Let me do that for you," he said. "I can get him fed and make sure he gets a bath and get him to bed."

She raised her eyebrows. "Will you read to him? He loves being read to."

He nodded. "I will definitely read to him." He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "And then I'll quietly get in bed and keep you safe all night long."

She smiled. She couldn't help it. He made her feel loved and she had to admit it always made her feel safe and secure. She nodded. "I'm sure I'll regret it, sometime in the middle of the night, but okay." His eyes were twinkling merrily and he chuckled.

"Yeah, I probably will touch you somewhere really private at some point." He grinned. "Would you mind?"

"I never mind that," she said. She laid her hand on his arm and kissed him lightly. Then she opened the door and grabbed her purse. "I'll see you in a bit then." She lifted her hand in a wave and then got out, shut the door, and hurried over to her car. As she got settled in, she wondered which private place he would use to drive her to distraction. She thought about all the places and felt herself get warm all over in anticipation.

She was smiling broadly as she pulled out of the parking lot.

**Chip**

He looked around the kitchen, then turned out the light. As he started up the steps, he sighed happily. _This feels like home_, he thought, and smiled to himself. When he got to Connie's he made sandwiches for himself and Yoby, after he'd kissed her and sent her upstairs. He got Yoby ready for bed and then read to him. Yoby sitting in his arms as he read and then holding onto the book reminded him of when his own kids were small and he'd do the same thing.

When Yoby was tucked in and he'd turned out the light, he'd headed down to the kitchen to clean up. He checked his email, then went back the way he'd come. He opened the door into Connie's room and then closed it. It was dark, except for a small nightlight in the bathroom that gave off enough light to prevent someone from tripping and falling. He could hear a light snore and knew she was asleep. He went and brushed his teeth, then undressed and gently crawled into the bed. He tried not to jostle her, even though he would have liked to make good on his promise from earlier. But she was more tired these days and he decided to let her sleep. He slid in behind her, putting his arm loosely around her. She sighed and snuggled into him, but didn't wake up. He felt the heat of her skin against him and could smell the light scent of her perfume and fell asleep as well.

* * *

When he woke, it was still dark. Neither of them had moved and she was still asleep. He breathed in, then let his fingers graze her abdomen. She made a little noise, then a soft sigh as she breathed out. "Connie," he whispered.

"Mmm," she murmured, sounding like she might still be asleep.

He let his fingers trail up and down over her skin. He felt her shiver just a little. He pressed his palm over her stomach and kissed her lightly on the shoulder. "Baby," he whispered. She rolled over to face him. He could see, in the dim light, that her eyes were slightly open. There was a dreamy smile on her face as she wrapped her arm around his waist and snuggled into him.

"Mmm," she murmured softly. Then she looked up at him, her eyes halfway open. "I love you, Chip," she said, then sighed contentedly. Her eyes closed again.

He smiled, letting his hand rest on the small of her back. "I love you too, Connie," he whispered, kissing her forehead. She snuggled a little closer, a tiny smile on her face. It was obvious she wasn't waking up, so he just held her tighter against him and closed his own eyes. It didn't take long before he fell back asleep as well.

**Connie**

She made a frustrated noise. She was at the studio, recording a song she would perform in the next episode. Actually she wouldn't perform it, just lip sync it, but it was still stressful every single time. This time was no different. Her vocal coach was there, talking her through softening her voice and reminding her she didn't need to push the volume.

"Connie, this is right in your range," Valerie said.

She rolled her eyes. "I know. I don't know why it feels different though."

"Just relax. Do some deep breathing. Hum."

She tried to relax, but she was feeling pissy. She and Chip had had an argument the night before – she couldn't even remember anymore what it was about – and he had left in a huff. It wasn't until she had sunk down into a warm bath filled with a lavender smelling bath oil, that she felt bad that things had gotten so out of hand. She'd sat in the water until she shivered from the chill, tears rolling down her face. She knew it was hormones, but she hated it. She wasn't normally so all over the place with her moods and it startled her sometimes. When she'd gotten out of the bath and dried off, she had called Chip to apologize. He wanted to come back, but she'd told him no, that it was late and she was super tired. And, in fact, she'd fallen asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

She knew it was some residual emotion that made her feel on edge, but she tried breathing in and out and finally she could feel herself begin to relax. She smiled at Valerie. "Okay. I guess I just had a diva dip," she said, with a laugh, thinking about when Rayna had used that term when she'd had her own little meltdown over ear buds. She breathed in and out one more time. "Okay, I feel better," she said, and walked back into the studio.

* * *

When she walked into craft services, she saw Chip at the taco bar. She had to smile, because he was almost always at the taco bar. She walked up and stood next to him. "Hey, there," she said, as she put a tortilla on her plate. Then she looked up at him. She was pleased to see him smile and look happy to see her.

"Hey yourself," he said. He nudged her arm with his elbow and looked down at her plate. "Does this mean your appetite is back?"

She grinned and shook her head. "No." She lowered her voice. "Don't tell anyone, but I'm just getting this for show."

He frowned slightly. "You need to eat, Connie."

_That's__ what we were fighting about. Me not eating._ She sighed. "I _do_ eat, Chip. It's just that not much is appealing."

He looked around behind him, then back at her. "What _is_ appealing? There has to be something." He looked around again, then nodded towards the pasta station. "How about pasta? You don't even have to get sauce or anything. Just buttered noodles. It's what my kids would eat when they were being picky eaters."

Now it was her turn to frown. "I'm not a child, Chip."

He leaned in close and whispered. "No, you're not, but you're _feeding_ one. Why not humor me?"

She fumed, as she glared at him. Then she turned on her heel, threw the plate with the tortilla away and walked towards the pasta station. She stood there for a minute, letting herself cool down while she perused what was there. He was right – if she didn't eat, the baby didn't eat. So she looked at what was offered and settled on some flat noodles and steamed broccoli. She added a pat of butter and sprinkled it all with parmesan cheese.

When she picked up her food, she turned and looked around the room. She spotted Chip sitting alone and she walked over to him. She pointed at the seat next to him. "Can I join you?" she asked.

He looked up and gave her a curt nod. "Sure."

She could tell he was still irritated. She sat and made a big show of mixing the melting butter into the noodles and broccoli, while he silently continued to eat his tacos. Finally she sighed and leaned a little closer. "I'm sorry," she murmured. Then she waited.

He continued to chew, not really looking at her, but finally swallowed and put the taco down on his plate. He sighed as well. "Connie, I'm not trying to get on your nerves or hover over you. But you're pregnant" – he lowered his voice on the word – "and you need to eat. Something. _Anything_. It makes me worry when you don't."

She stuck her fork into some pasta and a piece of broccoli, then put it in her mouth and chewed slowly. She was surprised it didn't make her feel nauseous. She looked at him then. "I don't mean to make you worry," she said. "I promise, I'll do better."

He nodded at her plate. "That better?"

She smiled apologetically. "Actually yes, it's not so bad." She gave him a teasing look. "Maybe I _am_ a child after all."

He smiled then and she was relieved to see his eyes twinkle merrily. "Good," he said. "How late are you here today?"

"Not really that late today. 4-ish? What about you?"

"About the same. We're filming at the house in East Nashville though, so we need to be done well before the sun starts going down." He smirked. "Deacon's hanging out with his _girlfriend_ today. A dinner party."

She frowned at him. "I really don't like Deacon having a girlfriend." She had hated it from the beginning. She actually felt jealous, which embarrassed her. It wasn't as though Chip was Deacon and, again, she knew it was pregnancy hormones that were making her feel all out of sorts. She took a deep breath, trying to shake it off. That all ended in this episode anyway, so she knew she needed to get over it. She bumped her shoulder against his. "Well, I think you should come by tonight after dinner. I'll try to make up for last night." Changing the subject seemed to do the trick, as she felt herself relax a little and she saw his face relax as well.

He smiled. "I like the sound of that."

She smiled back. "Good. Oh, and I _told_ you I was going to be hormonal. You know that's what that was last night, right?"

He looked at her a little sheepishly. "Yeah, I do know. And I'm sorry for how I reacted. Or overreacted, might be a better way to put it."

She put a hand on the back of his arm and rubbed it briefly. "I'll do better," she said softly.

"Nope," he said, shaking his head. "_I'm_ the one who needs to be better."

She smiled. "Well, I need to get to hair and makeup. See you later?"

He smiled. "You will."

She got up quickly, picking up the plate of food that was still almost half full, and walked away, tossing the plate in the trash, and headed towards the hair and makeup trailer.


	5. Chapter 5

She finally was finding more food that didn't turn her stomach. Dr. Hamilton had told her it might have been that she was having morning sickness without the vomiting. _More like all day sickness_, she thought. But she was definitely happy to have a little more appetite back. She was staying away from spicy food, greasy food, and highly processed food, per Dr. Hamilton, but, other than spicy food, she didn't eat the other anyway. She was still heavy on vegetables, light on protein, except for chicken, and she was feeling better, stronger, less tired.

She had not been working that day and she'd found herself surfing the internet, looking at baby sites, clicking on furniture, clothes, and other items a baby – and its parents – might need. She sat back and put her hand over her stomach, thinking about the little being inside her. The baby was about the size of a raspberry, according to the book she'd bought, so she still wasn't showing. It didn't seem real somehow and she suspected it might not until she had some of the more physical signs, like a baby bump, or when she could feel the baby move. Her breasts were sore and, Chip said, larger. She reached up and pressed her fingers gently against her right breast. It was a dull ache that she felt. The crazy part was that, when Chip pinched her nipples, they were definitely sore, but the pain she would feel hit between her legs like a lightning bolt that turned into a pleasurable feeling. She was feeling it at that moment, in fact, and realized she was rubbing her fingers over her nipple, through her bra and sweater. She felt herself get damp and was glad Chip would be coming over after work.

_Chip_. She closed the laptop and leaned back in her chair. He'd been wonderful so far, or at least mostly wonderful. He would massage her feet, he would let her go through her hormonal mood swings without getting annoyed, and he still made exquisite love to her almost every night. He had gone to LA over the weekend, as he usually did. He'd asked if she was sure she didn't want him to go ahead and tell Patty about the two of them, but she'd said no. She still wanted to wait until she had cleared the first trimester before she told anyone else. She still worried about the possibility of miscarriage, didn't want him risking everything if he didn't have to.

She looked down and rested her hand on her stomach. _This is so complicated, for both of us. I know how __I__ feel. I'm thrilled to have this chance to have a baby of my own and I'm even more thrilled it's his. But I'm in such a different place than he is and I'm worried he's doing all this because he thinks I need him and not because it's the right thing for him…and his family._ She felt the pressure of tears behind her eyes and choked on a sob. She sure _wanted_ him by her side, _needed_ him by her side. She didn't want to have to do this all alone, especially with a toddler already. But if he didn't want to leave his family, she didn't want to make him feel guilty for considering it. She felt so torn and it made her heart ache.

She breathed in deeply. He had come home to her though. He came straight to her house when he returned to Nashville on Sunday night. She felt the heat on her cheeks as she thought about how vigorous their lovemaking had been that night. It had felt, to her, like she couldn't get enough of him. It had felt like he couldn't get deeper inside her and she had ground herself against him, craving the roughness and how perfectly he hit all her most sensitive places. She had cried out over and over as she had not one, but two orgasms in a row. Just thinking about it now made her shiver with anticipation.

She got up then and walked over to pick up her phone. _Will you be coming by tonight?_

_I'll be on set late. That okay?_

_Yeah._ Then she sent a follow up text. _Will you pick up some Thai food?_

She waited for a text reply, but her phone buzzed instead. "Hey," she said, happy to hear his voice. "Thought you'd be shooting."

"Waiting for set up," he said. "Food?"

She smiled. "Yes, please. Some pad thai with chicken and a basil roll?"

"It'll be late, maybe close to 9."

"That's okay."

"I'm just happy you want food," he said, and she laughed.

**Chip**

He watched her as she, surprisingly, ate every morsel. Well, except that she only ate one basil roll and she had picked out about half the chicken. He thought she needed more protein, but he was so glad she was actually eating that he left it alone.

She swallowed the last bite and then pushed the plate away. She turned to him and smiled. "That was really good," she said.

"I made it myself," he said with a grin and a chuckle.

She swatted at his arm. "You did not." She laughed, that rich, throaty laugh he loved. "But thanks anyway." She put her hand on his arm. "I know you've been worried about me."

He got up and pulled her up and into his arms. He leaned down to kiss her. "That's precious cargo you're carrying, you know," he said. "And I worry about you too." He smoothed her hair back off her face. He kissed her again, letting it linger a bit. When he pulled his lips from hers, she was a little breathless and her face looked a little flushed.

"Can you stay?" she asked. He nodded. "Are you working tomorrow?"

"Yep. You?"

"Yeah. Scenes with Michiel." She laughed then. "He's a really flirty guy, have I told you that?"

He frowned. He didn't like that. "Really?"

She raised her eyebrows, a smile on her face. "Well, you've had your little girlfriend, so I think I'm entitled. Well, _Rayna_ is." She reached for his hand and linked her fingers with his. "Let's go upstairs," she said, her voice husky and low.

He smiled, thinking he was probably the luckiest guy in the world. He leaned down to her ear. "I think someone wants me to ravish her," he murmured.

She laughed, a soft, flirty laugh. She looked up at him, her eyes shining and a touch of pink on her cheeks. "I think you might be right."

As he followed her up the stairs, he amended his earlier thought. _I __am__ the luckiest guy in the world._

**Connie**

She moaned deep in her throat, closing her eyes and arching her back. Chip's fingers were inside her, doing amazing things that made her tingle from the top of her head all the way to her toes. His teeth were gently grazing her nipples and she felt that mix of pain, soreness and pleasure, that made her squirm and increased the moans. Then he suddenly touched that special place deep inside her and she could feel the circles of pleasure start to build, like waves hitting the shore. They started slow at first, then quickly started racing towards the shore, as she lifted her pelvis into his hand. His lips left her breast and captured her mouth. She could feel herself climbing towards the precipice and then she let go, feeling herself go over the edge, and turned slightly towards him as she grabbed at his hair, her hips moving as she felt herself spasm and waited for him to pull his fingers from inside her. To her surprise, he did not and she suddenly found herself climbing back up the roller coaster and then speeding down again, more intense than before.

He released her finally, leaving her gasping for air, but not for long, as he rolled on top of her and entered her quickly, his movements inside her quick and powerful. Then he cried out incoherently as he emptied himself deep inside her. She held him inside her then, as long as she could, loving the feel of him tight and snug inside her. She felt like everything around them had faded away.

_Thank you, God, for this beautiful man._

* * *

The next morning she was surprised to wake up before the alarm went off. She had scenes to film with Michiel Huisman and Chip was filming with his girlfriend. Well, _Deacon's_ girlfriend. It always surprised her how jealous she felt about it. Susan was a lovely woman, but she found it hard sometimes to separate the actress from the character. It made her stop and wonder if Chip's wife felt the same way. The kiss on the elevator had been hot and she wasn't sure how she would have felt if it were her husband, kissing another woman the way Chip was kissing her. Then she unconsciously shook her head, trying not to go down that line of thinking. She felt Chip breathing against her neck, and then his tongue drew a line up to the back of her ear and she shivered. He put his arm around her and pulled her in close, and she felt him hard against her back.

"Mmm," she murmured, with a smile on her face. He ran his hand over her stomach, edging down her torso. She wiggled her hips a little and it was his turn to moan. His hand moved between her legs and she groaned. His fingers started to dance over her, dipping inside her for a moment, then back out. She could feel herself twitching and she suddenly pressed her ass hard against him, letting him know without words that this was not what she needed right then. She lifted her leg and draped it over his hip, pressing back against him insistently.

"What do you want, baby?" he whispered in her ear, his breath tickling her ear. Then, without warning, he pushed inside her with one long, fluid thrust. She heard herself moan loudly.

"Oh God, this," she growled.

**Chip**

They were headed ever closer to the end of Connie's first trimester, that date they had both sort of drawn a circle around. Things would change then. For one thing, the chances of miscarriage would be less. Not that she couldn't at any point after that, but the first trimester was the most delicate time. It seemed like Connie was just holding her breath, waiting to get to that milestone. It would be a cautious sigh of relief for both of them. But it was also when they would come clean – to his family, the show, everything. It would be out in the open – their secret relationship, the baby they would have, the life they'd have to figure out.

He'd started worrying more about what it would mean for _her_, for her reputation. She'd been so concerned about _him_ that he really hadn't thought so much about what it might mean for her. She was a smart, intelligent woman. An activist, big on women's causes. Would being in a relationship with a married man, plus getting pregnant, cause her to lose respect, lose credibility. She'd talked about it before, before the baby, and fretted over it herself. When she would pull away from him, it was always the reason she used, although she always couched it in more elegant terms and made him the focus of her concern.

She always came back though. She always said it was because she loved him and that it was worth everything they might go through. He hadn't necessarily really thought about the long term, just the moment. He'd always figured the rest would work itself out eventually. But then she got pregnant. That changed everything. He was excited about the baby, excited on getting that little push that put them squarely on the road to the future, a future together. But they would have to deal with a world of pain and hurt and anger and he worried about the impact on her and specifically worried about what the stress of dealing with his family breakup would mean for her.

He would hang on to her, that he knew for sure. He would hang on tight, protecting her, loving her, being there for her. He tried to relax into that, although the uncertainty of what was to come still left him a little anxious.

**Connie**

He was staying with her more. He even started moving some of his things to her house, small things like a toothbrush, a razor, underwear. She felt like they were moving towards him moving in, but it wouldn't really be official until after he'd talked to his family. They hadn't really talked about it, but she knew that's where things were headed in just a couple weeks. She liked waking up with him, feeling his skin against hers, feeling his breath on her neck and one arm wrapped around her. She loved the crazy tingling between her legs and the things he did to her with his fingers and tongue and lips – things she'd never allowed other men to do. While she was definitely more sexually turned on by Chip than any other man in her life, it was more than that. He was kind. He listened. He loved her son. She still thought about the fact he was married, but, with a baby on the way, she thought more about building a family with him.

The heat building up inside her made her smile. He had not stayed with her the night before, but she would see him later that day, when they had a scene together. They would be kissing each other in a closet, which sounded much more intimate than it would actually be. It was not really a closet at all and there would be camera guys and other behind the scenes people, not to mention the heat of the lights, that would make it all, in reality, so much less sexy than it would appear on screen. They were able to make it look real on tape – even she could see that – and she did attribute that to their off-camera relationship. She wondered how far she'd make it until they'd have to do the little tricks all shows did with a character who was pregnant in real life.

She looked down and smoothed her hands over her stomach. She was still flat. She thought she detected just the slightest thickening of her waist, but she wasn't certain. The interlude of better eating seemed to have vanished as quickly as it had come, and Chip was hovering again. She loved how much he cared about things like that, but he definitely came on strong. She frowned just a little. She was both ready and not ready though to look like she was pregnant. She wanted to because she wanted to really _feel_ pregnant, but she also felt like the closer to the end of the season they could get would be better, without having to disclose her personal situation to the world.

She also wanted it to not interfere with her wardrobe. Before she headed to work, she was meeting her stylist at Nordstrom to select some clothes for the last episode. She was not a shopping fan, because of the attention it drew – at least in LA. In Nashville, it wasn't as bad, but she wasn't immune to the twitters of the personal stylists employed at the store. But she did like getting all dressed up in things she might never buy herself, and Rayna Jaymes had a wardrobe she would likely never wear as Connie, and that part was fun.

She had not been told much about the plans for the finale, of course, but she knew she needed a really stunning floor length gown, a little black dress, and some leather jeans. It was the jeans that had her the most worried, because they would need to be really fitted. She wasn't really sure what things would look like then, more specifically what her tummy would look like. She supposed she could wear Spanx if she had to. The store would bring in its own stock but the show combed the catalog and so there would likely be other items, especially the evening dress, that would come from other locations.

She walked out of her bedroom and down the hall to Yoby's room. The nanny was getting him ready, when she poked her head in. "Mama!" Yoby cried. The nanny turned towards her.

She put her hand on the door jamb. "The car service will be here in about twenty minutes," she said, with a smile. Then she looked back at Yoby. "We're going to the store first, buddy. Will you behave?"

"Yes!" he said, with a grin and a look in his eyes which said he probably would not.

Her phone buzzed and when she looked at it, she saw it was Chip. "I'll see y'all downstairs," she said in a half whisper, then walked down to the stairs. "Hey there," she said with a smile when she lifted the phone to her ear.

"Hey yourself," he said. "What are you doing?"

"Getting ready to meet the stylist at Nordstrom." She laughed. "Picking out a beautiful evening dress for the finale. Or maybe that's code for something else."

He laughed as well. "I'm sure whatever it is, you'll be the stunner in the scene. I'm just hoping I'm with you in the scene."

"Me too."

"Sorry I couldn't get there last night."

She nodded. "Me too. Will you be here tonight?"

He chuckled. "Wouldn't miss it," he said. "I was thinking maybe we could figure out what Rayna and Deacon were doing after she took her phone calls." Their first scene in the episode would be the day after the night Rayna had gone to Deacon's.

She could feel herself blush. They had played out that little scene the last time he'd been over, Deacon and Rayna's first night together in nearly fourteen years. It had been delicious playing that out. Her body had felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending tingling in the most fantastic way. "I think that sounds perfect. Plus, you know, we can try out several things, since we aren't filming until next week."

"I like the way you think," he said. "I'll let you go then, but I'll see you later?"

"Yes, you will." She smiled as she disconnected, already looking forward to later.

* * *

They were sitting next to each other, waiting to be called on set. He looked at her and smiled. "You look pretty," he said.

She smiled back. "Thank you."

He breathed in. "I see that glow they always talk about."

She frowned. "What?"

"You know. The glow of pregnancy?" He kept his voice low.

She made a shushing noise and gently slapped his arm. "If it's a glow, it's more like my body temperature's gone up."

He grinned. "Oh, I know that's true too. It makes you more…slippery."

She gasped and hit him again, harder this time. "Chip Esten, what a terrible thing to say to your baby mama." He frowned a little and she smiled. "Okay. The mother of your child," she whispered.

His face softened with a smile. "Yeah, don't say anything bad about _that_ woman." He leaned in a little closer. "You gonna let me really kiss you today?"

She laughed. "I guess you'll have to wait and see."

**Chip**

He missed her when he wasn't with her, whether it was some sort of evening event they couldn't both attend or because he was in LA or she was off on some humanitarian or political cause. It had become more true since he'd found out she was pregnant and he'd increased the time he stayed over. He'd had a late night event and she would have been long asleep by the time he would have gotten to her house, so he'd slept alone in the little-used apartment in Germantown.

He had laid in his bed in the sterile corporate apartment, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, thinking about all the changes in his life since he'd gotten the part of Deacon Claybourne. He'd told Connie once that he thought their own personal lives were like Deacon and Rayna's. She would laugh when he said it, but one night, long after midnight, just after they'd made love, she had whispered in his ear that he was right, that she'd never really believed in that kind of all-encompassing love. She had wanted it, but had decided it couldn't be real. _I never believed in love at first sight, that you could know like you'd been hit with a thunderbolt, that this was your destiny, and that your life would be forever changed by this one single person._ Nothing had changed how either of them had felt, even though she sometimes tried to push him away, never able to make it stick.

He couldn't resist her. All she had to do was rub herself against him, or swing her hips back and forth, or gently touch his crotch, and all he wanted to do was ravish her. He still remembered the scene – was it in the pilot? – where she, or rather, Rayna, had walked to her car, with that exaggerated sway of her hips, and he had been certain it was meant for him – Chip – and not just for his character. Or it could have been something else. He'd been right though, whatever it was, as he'd found out when she was kneeling between his legs in his trailer, her mouth doing things to him that drove him wild. It had felt like fireworks had gone off when he leaned forward, his fingers tangled up in her hair, and he came in her mouth, shouting her name over and over.

He hadn't been as turned on by another woman since college. It even made him feel like he was still in college, their sex life feeling like what was experienced by much younger people than themselves. He was constantly touching her, or she him, it felt like. But it was so much more than just sex. Being all entangled with her felt more like the rest of the world had just faded away, as though they were in their own intimate universe. They could talk about _anything_ – although their focus was on different things, it all revolved around being caring and wanting to help others. They supported each other's dreams and cheered each other on.

As he stood on the set, leaning against the wall, he waited for her and David Alston to round the corner. Before she even looked up at him, he thought again how pretty she looked. She wasn't really a fan of the dress style she was wearing but he thought it was the perfect color for her. When she caught his eye and smiled that little private smile of hers, he knew it was not just for Deacon, it was for Chip.

And he very definitely got to kiss her for real.

* * *

She was watching him as he crawled into bed next to her. She turned towards him, letting him pull her in close. He kissed her, sucking on her lips gently and in no hurry, just wanting to savor the taste of her mouth, the velvety softness of her skin, and feeling the hard buds of her nipples against his chest. He adjusted her slightly so that his erection was hard against her, right between her legs. She moaned softly, her free hand letting her fingers run through his hair, then over his shoulder. He released her lips and she breathed in. "I've been waiting for this all day," she whispered.

He raised his eyebrows. "You have?"

She smiled. "Haven't you?"

He smirked. "I've been waiting since the last time I was here."

She stuck her tongue out at him, but she was also smiling. "Smart ass," she said.

He laughed and then pressed his lips against her forehead. "So here's what I think," he said and she looked at him attentively. "I think, since it had been so long since they last fucked, which I guess was" – he looked up towards the ceiling, then back at her – "probably when they made Maddie, that it was rough and sweaty and just straight up fucking, that very first time."

She looked at him like he was crazy. "Oh, no, no, no. He was wooing her. Letting himself savor every minute, wanting to show her just how much he'd wanted her, just how long he'd waited, and he wanted it to be beautiful for her."

He looked at her seriously, then smiled. "Baby, this man had been waiting for this woman for forever. You really think he could be romantic right then? He just needed to be inside her."

She laughed out loud. "Oh my God, Chip, you sound like such a _man_."

He shrugged good-naturedly. "I kind of am one, baby."

She leaned in and kissed him. "Well, I definitely think they'd have had nice, relaxed, morning sex to celebrate her nomination." She made a face. "Except why, why, why wouldn't he have let the call from Maddie to go to voice mail? What a buzz kill."

"Is that how you'll be?"

She pressed herself closer to him. "Oh, you better believe it, babe," she murmured. She lifted her leg and draped it over his leg, then reached between them, grabbing him in her hand. She kissed him, sucking on his lips. "Now, do me," she whispered. "Nice and slow." He kissed her back, then rolled her over beneath him and did as she asked.

**Connie**

She was in that twilight time between sleep and waking. Chip had an early call and, after kissing her softly on the cheek, she felt him slide out of bed. She dozed, then heard him shuffling around in the room. Getting dressed, she supposed. She wanted to get out of bed, but she felt too tired to do so. The extreme fatigue had come back, along with food aversions, and she'd just let herself give into both. She couldn't even make her eyes open. She heard the door quietly open and close. He would go downstairs, she knew, fixing himself some coffee, and then he would probably leave without trying to wake her.

She sighed deeply. She knew she would see him later, but she really didn't want him to leave just then, especially after the wonderful night they'd had. She supposed that was part of why she was tired. He'd been insatiable, it had seemed, but she also acknowledged that she had enthusiastically welcomed him every time. She kept waiting for the constant desire to make love to fade some, but it had really not. And, although the books told her it was more common to have increased sexual energy in the second trimester, she found herself craving _him_ right from the start. _You're__ my craving_, she remembered telling him. _I think I'm gonna be craving sex instead of ice cream._ He had smiled and told her he was fully onboard with that.

She groaned as she forced herself up and out of the bed. She rooted around the floor until she picked up the shirt he'd worn the night before. She slid it on and buttoned it up, then fished a pair of panties out of her dresser. She walked out into the hall and then down the stairs, dragging her fingers through her hair. She was barefoot and apparently made no sound, because he didn't move from his position, standing in front of the coffeemaker on the counter. She took the opportunity to stand and watch him.

He was slender but muscular. He was a runner and that had kept him in shape. He'd told her, back in the beginning, that he'd lost an extra ten pounds when he found out he had the role, feeling like Deacon would have been a little wirier than Chip was. As for most everyone else, the cameras added that ten pounds back and wardrobe tended to fit him in clothing that was a little smaller than he would normally wear, which made him look more ripped. He still had that boyish look she remembered from the photos she'd seen of him before she'd met him but, with the scruff he'd grown for the role and just being older, he exuded sex appeal and it never failed to make her smile.

She watched him pour a travel mug full of coffee, then turn around. He looked surprised and then happy to see her. "You didn't have to get up, baby," he said.

She was smiling and shook her head. "I know. I wanted to." She wandered around the island to where he was standing, linking her arms around his waist. He put down his travel mug and put his arms around her shoulders. She leaned back a little and looked up at him. _He's so handsome and I love him so much. I can't imagine him not being here._ She raised up on her toes and kissed him, just a gentle kiss at first, becoming more insistent.

He moved his hands down her back and up under the back of the shirt she was wearing. She loved the feel of his calloused hands on her skin as he stroked her up and down her back. Eventually he lowered them to cup her bottom and she moaned involuntarily. When he slipped his hands inside her panties she felt her knees get weak. "I'm gonna be late," he whispered against her mouth.

"I'm sorry," she whispered back.

She could feel his lips curl into a little smile. She felt his fingers gently brush against her inner thigh and she moaned. "Turn around, Connie," he murmured. He turned her himself, pressing her against the counter. He moved his hands, slowly dragging them up her abdomen until he reached her breasts. He squeezed gently and she flinched just a little at the soreness. He tugged at her nipples and she felt that strangely intoxicating mix of discomfort and pleasure. She groaned out loud and he buried his face in the back of her neck. "Mm, baby, you feel so good." He bucked his pelvis against her and she shivered. He took his hands back to her panties and pushed them down roughly. "You ready for me?" he whispered. She nodded and whimpered.

After a brief moment when she heard him unzip his pants, she was more than ready for him and she spread her legs farther apart. She gasped when he suddenly plunged inside her, causing her to grip the sides of the counter. "Oh, Chip," she moaned. He started moving inside her, quickly accelerating his movements. It wasn't long before she felt the unbelievable friction of him moving in and out of her. It had a ferociousness to it that nearly took her breath away, but she let her mind drift until she could feel the exquisite heaviness and the spiraling sensations exploding between her legs. She knew if she completely let herself melt into the feel of him, she would let go, and so she did. As she felt her orgasm build and then wash over her with an exhilarating fury, she felt him bury himself deep inside of her one last time, and then he muffled his moans in her shoulder, as he kept thrusting inside her until he was spent.

Both of them were breathless and he clung to her as he struggled to bring his breathing under control. It had felt raw and hot and incredibly sexy. Her heart was racing as she panted heavily. She held him tightly inside her as long as she could. When he stepped back from her, she practically collapsed over the counter and her legs felt like rubber. She wasn't at all sure she could stand on her own. He turned her around to face him, leaning in to kiss her. "God damn, Connie," he said, still a little breathless. "That was, I don't know, that was fucking amazing." She smiled and nodded. His face looked a little pink. "I guess I need to, you know, freshen up." He breathed out in a whoosh.

"I'm sorry," she said. She could feel the heat on her face.

He kissed her hard, his hands on both sides of her face. "Don't ever be sorry for _that_," he said, looking at her seriously. He smiled. "You just, literally, take my breath away."

She smiled. "And you do the same to me." She grabbed at his shirt with both hands and, rising up on her toes, she kissed him, letting her lips wander over his and her tongue tangle with his. He finally, reluctantly she could tell, pulled back. "I know you need to go."

He nodded. "I do. I'm gonna be late." He brushed his lips over hers. "But for you? Totally worth it." He took her hand and picked up his travel mug, heading for the door. He turned and kissed her again. "I'll see you tonight?"

She nodded. "And later on set." She rubbed her hand over his arm. "I love you."

He smiled. "I love you too." And then he was gone.

**Chip**

He only briefly got to see her on set, so he was glad he would seeing her later. He had been getting ready to leave when she walked onto the set from hair and makeup. She was wearing a very short silky robe and had slippers on her feet. When she saw him, she smiled and waved. He stopped and waited for her to approach.

He grinned. "You look pretty hot," he said.

She laughed. "Well, my legs feel very cold." She looked around and then back at him. "You're still coming by?" she asked, her voice lowered.

He nodded. "Yep. When do you think you'll be through?"

She shrugged. "Not sure. But by six I would think. I'll text you."

"Alright, I'll see you then." He almost leaned in to kiss her and then realized what he was doing. He gave a little casual wave and walked away from her.

* * *

He was pushing the accelerator as he headed down the highway. As often happened, filming went late and it was getting closer to 9:00. He hated being this late, since he knew she was going to bed earlier on nights when she could. The porch light was on when he pulled in her driveway and he hurried down the walkway, burrowing himself inside his jacket. It was cold and the wind was a little brisk. He knocked on her door and waited.

The door opened and there she stood, in a sweatshirt and jeans, socks on her feet, and her hair pulled up on top of her head. "Hey," she said, with a smile. "Come on in." He walked in, rubbing his hands together, and he kissed her. "You look cold," she said with a laugh.

He put his hands on her face and she squealed. "I am," he said, with a grin. "You gonna warm me up?"

She gave him a teasing smile. "I thought it was that you were gonna warm _me_ up." She took his hand and rubbed it with both of hers. "Can I bring you something to drink?"

"A bourbon, maybe?"

"I'll get it. Why don't you go sit?" She gestured towards the den.

He laid his jacket on the back of the couch and then sprawled out. When she came back, she handed him a glass, and he took a deep swallow as she settled herself back against him. He put one arm around her and finished his drink. He set the glass down and cleared his throat. "I decided not to go to LA this weekend," he said. "I'll go next weekend and tell everyone that I'm leaving."

She stiffened her body just slightly, then turned and sat back against the couch so she could face him. She frowned slightly. "You sure you're ready?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah."

She breathed in, then let it out. "I guess then I'll tell Callie," she mused. She looked at him. "I'm nervous, Chip. I mean, what if she decides she can't work with me on this? What if she decides to give up the show? Just because I got pregnant."

He'd never considered that. "You really think she'd do that?"

She shrugged. "Who knows? You know, it isn't just that me pregnant doesn't work for her story, but then she'll need to deal with backlash, maybe, or fans turning away from the show." He frowned with confusion and she looked at him sympathetically. "It'll be obvious, Chip. You're married. You had an affair with your costar and got her pregnant."

He scowled. "It's not an affair and you make it sound like we were cavalier about the sex part."

She smiled and patted his cheek. "I'm sorry. I know. It's not an _affair_. It's a relationship. And it is. But I worry about you, babe. People can be funny about married men getting involved with other women." She took a beat. "And the women who get involved with married men."

He shook his head. "Then they don't know about us. About what we feel about each other." She didn't say anything, just moved so that she was leaning back against him again. He put his arms around her and held her close, then kissed the back of her neck. "We'll figure it out, baby," he whispered. "I'm not letting anyone take away how happy I am with you." He could see the curve of her smile. He rubbed her arm, then leaned into her again. "Let's go upstairs and I'll wrap you up in all that happiness."

"I love the sound of that."

He gently pushed her up and off the couch and then he stood up and, taking her hand, led her to the stairs.


	6. Chapter 6

**Connie**

When the doorbell rang, she flew to the door and opened it. "You're here!" she squealed, throwing her arms out to her side. Carla walked in and the two friends hugged. Then she hurried out onto the porch and started to pick up one of her suitcases. "Let's get all this inside," she said, before Carla snatched the bag away from her.

"I don't think you should be picking up stuff like that," she said, shaking her head.

She laughed. "Don't be silly. I'm not fragile, just pregnant."

"But don't you need to take it easy and be careful?"

"Not really, at least no more than any other woman. But Chip is really looking after me."

Carla gave her an odd look, but then they put their arms around each other and walked into the den. "So how's that going?" she asked, when they had sat down on the couch. Both of them sat facing each other, their legs crossed in front of them. "Was he mad I was stealing your time for a couple days?"

She smiled. "No, he wasn't mad. And we're good. Really good." She breathed in. "He's going to LA this coming weekend and will tell, uh, her."

Carla nodded slowly, looking thoughtful. "What's he going to say? Is he going to offer up everything? 'Oh, by the way, wife, while I've been away I fell in love with someone who's not you and then knocked her up? Something like that?"

She frowned, feeling a flash of anger. "It's not like that. You know that." She breathed in. "I thought we would just have some fun while you're here, not have to listen to a lecture." She got up and walked towards the kitchen. "I've made up my mind, Carla, so just leave it be." She didn't want to tell Carla that she'd played on her own fears. But it _was_ true, she'd made up her mind, and she didn't want that tested anymore.

Carla followed her into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around her. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I don't mean to sound negative. But you know you're my sister, my best friend, and I'm always going to be protective of you."

She stood there for a moment, then sighed. Carla dropped her arms. "I don't need protecting, Carla." She turned to look at her friend. "I love you for caring, but what I need is support, not protecting." She felt herself getting a little emotional and she breathed in. "I love Chip. He loves me. I believe in that. I know this isn't the best of situations, or at least the timing isn't the best." She turned to look at Carla. "I'm having a baby, something I had kind of given up on. It's a miracle and I intend to treat it like it's a gift. The fact that it's with someone I love is a bonus. The circumstances he and I are in are certainly complicated and not what either of us would have preferred. But I'm going to make the best of it. That's what I know."

Carla reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I _do_ support you. We will _all_ support you. You know that."

"Thanks." She reached out to hug Carla, hoping that would be the end of it, but not at all certain it would be.

* * *

It turned out she was right. It wasn't until the next afternoon that Carla brought it up again, but she approached it differently. Yoby was down for a nap and they had settled down in the den, talking about everything. Carla's next job, the one she was headed off to early the next morning. Her work, specifically how she was faring with the singing. _I'm still scared shitless every single time I walk into the studio._ They talked about Yoby and the latest things he was doing and getting into. They talked about charity work and activist work and politics, topics they loved to dig into. Chip was game to talk to her about those things, but he listened a lot more than he talked, always supportive of her passions for children and women and justice and the environment. She had come to realize he gravitated to things that helped people heal and she was proud of him for that work. But sometimes she really wanted to debate and pick apart things and Carla was always good for that.

They were talking about books they were reading and then Carla picked up the pregnancy book she had on the coffee table. "So are you comparing yourself to what's in here?" she asked, nodding towards the book.

She shrugged. "Kind of. From a real general perspective. My doctor says every woman is different and that how my pregnancy will go might be different from what's in the book. But it does explain some things and that's helpful."

"What's your plan for telling work?"

She sat back against the couch, pulling her knees into her chest. "I'm planning to talk to Callie soon. I feel like I need to, to let her know what's coming."

Carla screwed up her face. "Are you sure that's the best timing?"

She frowned. "Well, I'm assuming that, before too long, I'll start showing. I can't wait until that happens and have her ask me then what the hell is going on."

Carla leaned forward. "You might want to wait a little longer."

"Why would I do that? I think the right thing to do is let her know now."

"What if she decides to fire you? Or she lets them cancel the show? Is that what you want?"

She huffed. "That's so negative, Carla."

Carla smiled. "Well, you were always the pragmatic one, Connie. At least as far as work was concerned. I mean, think about everyone else on the show. This will _matter_." She was silent. "I just want you to protect yourself. Don't feel like you have to do everything at once. Be selfish. For yourself and for your kids. None of this is simple and I know you know that." She looked over at Carla. Her friends' face was filled with concern and compassion. "Look, I know. You're having a baby. And you want it to be joy-filled and wonderful and it should be. Just take a minute. You don't have to do everything in a rush. And you don't have to do it right now."

She swallowed hard. She was having a hard time with what was the right thing to do.

**Chip**

He had not really begrudged Connie spending a couple days with her friend. Actually, he did, really, because he hated being apart from her, but he knew she needed it, so he'd been gracious. He had a lot on his mind anyway. He would be going to LA for the weekend and his plan was to tell Patty and the kids that he was leaving. He hadn't really figured out how much to share. _Do I just say I'm leaving? That I met someone? That it's Connie? That she's pregnant?_ He couldn't decide whether to just dump it all or to do it in small bites. _Would it really be better one way than the other?_ It made his gut hurt to think about it.

When he thought back to when he and Connie first got together, he wasn't at all sure what he expected would happen. When he made his move on her, it was because he was sure it was what she wanted too. The chemistry had been palpable from the moment they met. He remembered her putting her hand on his arm as they talked about how to play the walk on the bridge scene. He had felt something almost immediately, but told himself it was just because he'd had such a crush on her from Friday Night Lights. But it was more than that.

They would finish each other's sentences. It felt like they'd known each other forever. He noticed her face would light up when she saw him. He tried telling himself that it was just because he was in Nashville and his family was in LA, that it wasn't that he'd just fallen for someone else. He tried talking himself out of making that first move. She wasn't the type to get involved with a married man. He could tell. She was smart, a woman's woman, strong in herself. But that night she had opened herself up to him, in more ways than one. He remembered feeling a completeness with her that he had never really felt with Patty.

When he thought about Patty, he felt incredible guilt. He had been smitten with her from the beginning, when they met in college. He'd had this feeling of having met 'the one' – she was cute and fun and was her own woman, and he'd found that very attractive. She had been a great partner, someone who would support him by taking care of his life, giving him solidity in a profession that had little security for most. Over the years they had felt more like a team than a married couple. Their lives were on parallel tracks and it had taken getting offered the part of a lifetime – Deacon Claybourne – to make him realize how discontent he had been with his life.

He'd been nervous when Callie had told him the backstory of Deacon and Rayna – that they had long been lovers, with him performing in her band, until his inability to control his alcoholism had sent her into the arms of another man. That she had secretly given birth to his daughter made it a potentially explosive situation, especially because they both still harbored feelings for the other. Being Connie's leading man was intimidating and overwhelming, but then she'd turned out to be amazing. She was a generous scene partner and they had become friends quickly. That it would turn into a relationship seemed inevitable, looking back on it.

He truthfully hadn't been certain where things would go. A part of him thought it might just fade away once his family came to Nashville, which had felt oddly depressing. She would fight the relationship at times and he would feel incredible guilt, every time he went to LA. But they couldn't live without each other. And yet, he acknowledged that, if not for the fact that Connie got pregnant, maybe it would still have ended between them at some point.

He sighed and then turned off the shower. He opened the shower door and grabbed a towel, drying himself off. He and Connie were filming together later in the day, a scene at Deacon's house where they were singing together, obviously post-sex. He smiled at his image in the mirror as he combed his wet hair back. She would be wearing just a flannel shirt in the scene. He shook his head. She would have on underwear as well, but, in his head, he imagined that she did not and that he would put his guitar aside and ravish her right there on the couch. _Well, Deacon would have done that to Rayna_, he thought. It reminded him of that first time they'd had sex on her couch. _It all comes full circle._

* * *

When he pulled into the lot at the production studio, he saw that she was already there. He knew she'd had a scene with Judith and this was the only one he had that day. As he passed her trailer, he wondered if she was in there. He only came by when she invited him. She had told him in the beginning she didn't want to put too much of a spotlight on them, and her nanny was always there with Yoby, and he had agreed. Sometimes, after they'd finished a scene together, she would slip into his trailer with him for a few minutes – or a few minutes longer – for some alone time.

He pulled out his phone and sent her a text. _You here? Just got here._ She texted back. _Actually on set craft services._ He smiled. _See you there._ He got out of his car and jogged towards the production facility, taking the steps two at a time. He tried not to appear too much in a hurry, as he walked across the building. He spoke to everyone, waved to others, as he made his way towards the breakroom. He stood at the door and looked around. It was mostly crew in the room now, but then he saw her sitting off to the side, holding Yoby on her lap. She looked up just then and saw him. A warm feeling filled his chest as she smiled at him. Again he was struck by how she seemed to glow.

He walked over to her, smiling as he did. He saw her speak to Yoby and then point at him. Yoby turned and raised his arms up over his head, squealing his excitement. When he got to them and sat down, she looked happy. Yoby was reaching for him and she handed him over. He stood Yoby on his legs and grinned at the little boy. "Hey there, little man," he said, with a laugh. "You aren't causing too much trouble for your mama, are you?" Connie was smiling at them both and he caught her putting her hand over her stomach.

One thing he knew for sure was that he loved her. _Truly_ loved her. It hadn't taken him long to figure that out, to realize _she_ was the one. The baby she carried inside her, the baby they'd made, however unintentionally, just solidified that for him. It was a sign, he'd told himself. She had told him how she had always wanted to have a baby herself, but that having Yoby had actually satisfied a lot of that need. And yet now he had given her that one last thing she hadn't achieved and it filled him with a tender feeling every time he thought about it.

Just then the nanny approached and he handed over Connie's son. They both watched as she walked away with her small charge, and when she was out of sight, he turned back to her. "Hey," he said, with a smile.

"Hey," she responded. Now that Yoby was gone, he sensed a little tension in her. They would be singing today and he knew that always made her nervous.

"Just look at me and don't think about anything else," he said, hoping to settle her nerves.

She frowned. "What?"

He was confused. "The song? You looked sort of tense and I thought maybe it was that. Something else?" She shrugged. So he changed the subject. "Did you enjoy your visit?"

She nodded. "I did. It's always good to see her." She looked pensive for a moment, then looked back at him. "Will I see you tonight?"

He frowned slightly. "Yeah. Of course." He would be leaving the next day for LA and he definitely wanted to see her, talk to her about what he was going to say and get her advice.

"Great. Well, I need to get to hair and makeup." She stood, patting his arm. "I'll see you on set." She walked away and all he could do was just turn and watch her go.

**Connie**

She didn't want to tell him Carla had filled her mind with too many questions. She hadn't really wanted Carla to know either that she'd given her much to consider. She acknowledged to herself that they were all questions she had asked or, if not, should have asked. They had only talked about the future in vague terms, before she got pregnant. In her heart, she believed he loved her the way she loved him – fully and completely. Although she wanted to think that, after the first season, if his family moved to Nashville and that meant they were over, she could accept it and they could continue to be the best of friends, the truth was she didn't think she could do it. So finding out she was pregnant had held out a flicker of hope. But she truly didn't want him to do this because of a baby. It needed to be what _he_ wanted.

She had gotten up early with Carla, since she had to be on set early as well. Her friend had taken one last shot at…what? Lecturing her? Not exactly. But certainly trying to encourage her to consider the whole picture.

"_So you said he's planning to tell his family this weekend?" Carla asked._

_She nodded, but she felt her antenna go up. "Yes. That's the plan."_

"_And he's going to say what exactly?"_

_She shrugged. "Well, I don't know the exact words he'll use," she said, hearing an edge to her voice. "But that he wants to move on, wants a divorce, I guess."_

"_Is he planning on telling her about you? About the baby?"_

_She had to admit she didn't know how much he planned to share. "I'm not sure. He'll tell her about me, is his plan." The part about the baby would be tough._

"_And then he leaves them, comes back to you, and what? Move in together, get married? Just raise a kid together?"_

_She could feel herself getting irritated. "I don't know, Carla!" she cried. "We're taking it one step at a time."_

"_What do __you__ want, Connie?" Carla looked sympathetic and it took some of the sting away. "Do you want him to move in? Be a father? Full time? Do you want to marry him?" She reached out for her hand. "Are you sure what he wants? And then, of course, there's all the rest of it."_

"_What are you saying?"_

_Carla gave her a concerned smile. "Look. I get that he's sex on a stick. And you're Connie Britton, after all. A stunningly gorgeous, amazing human being, sexy as fucking hell. You're like his goddess love, the woman he could only have dreamt about. But is he really ready to leave his family? And are you ready for the backlash? This woman's woman, stealing another woman's husband?" She started to protest, but Carla raised her hand. "I know that's not you, but that's how it could look to other women. And last, but not least, do you really want to give the show a reason to fire you? Or shut down?" She sighed. "I'm really not trying to be negative, or even change your mind. But I want you – and him too – to do this with eyes wide open. Don't rush to put it all out there if you don't have to." Carla got up and hugged her. "I'm on your side. I'm happy that you have this chance to have a baby and do it with a man you clearly love. I just want y'all to both think about the implications and consequences."_

She felt tears in her eyes. She didn't want to fuck up Chip's life. She didn't want him to do anything he hadn't really thought through completely. Would he resent her one day? Resent their child? It wasn't that she thought she couldn't do this on her own if she had to. She'd always been prepared to do that. But she wondered if the better thing wouldn't be to wait. Give themselves some more time. More time for both of them to figure out what this was going to be.

It was giving her a headache. And dammit, she had to sing.

**Chip**

They got situated on the couch. She had on that flannel shirt. He had asked her, while they waited for the crew to set everything up, if she was wearing underwear. She had gasped and smacked his arm and he had grinned. _I had to ask. Rayna wouldn't be._ She had laughed at that and had seemed to relax. One of the production crew handed him a guitar and she tucked one leg up under her and then balanced her foot against the coffee table, leaning back against the couch. She put her hand on his arm and he turned to look at her.

"Just remember to look at me," he said. "Sing it to _me_, even though they'll dub the recording over it. It'll feel more natural that way."

She gave him a little smile and nodded. "I know." She looked deep into his eyes. "Thank you."

He started to lean towards her, forgetting where they were for a second, then stopped. "My pleasure," he said, as he heard the huskiness in his voice. Sitting with her like this, in such an intimate way, felt intoxicating. It made it hard to separate Deacon and Rayna from Chip and Connie.

* * *

When they were done, he reached his hand out to help her up. After a moment's hesitation, she took it, letting him pull her up. She squeezed his hand ever so slightly and he gave her a little smile. "Are you still coming by?" she asked softly. He nodded. She smiled, pulling her hand from his. "I'm headed to wardrobe to change. See you later." He watched her walk off, swaying her hips the way that made him crazy.

It was dark when he got to her house. It was also cold and he huddled into his jacket. The breeze had picked up and he felt himself shiver. When she opened the door, she was wearing an old Dartmouth sweatshirt and yoga pants, carrying Yoby on her hip. She smiled at him, then looked at Yoby, already in his pj's. "Look who it is, buddy," she said, with a grin.

"Chip! Chip!" The little boy reached out to him and he took him from Connie. He'd just turned 2 and it seemed like he was developing more of his own personality every day.

She rubbed the back of his arm. "He wanted to stay up to see you," she said. "But he also wants you to read to him."

He smiled at her, then leaned in for a kiss. "I can do that." He set Yoby down on the floor. "So, buddy, why don't you run get in bed and I'll be right up."

"Okay!" Yoby yelled and ran up the steps.

They watched as he disappeared from sight and then he pulled her into his arms and gave her a more intimate kiss. "Are you coming too?"

She seemed to consider that, then shook her head. "I think I'll let you do it," she said, patting his back. "I need to take some things out of the dryer. Just come back when you're done."

"I will definitely do that," he said, with a chuckle. He took off his jacket and hung it on the stair rail, then hurried up the steps.

**Connie**

She had wanted to talk to him first, but then he had come back downstairs and ran his hands up under her sweatshirt. He pushed up her bra and started tweaking her nipples and she moaned. She got that heavy feeling between her legs and she knew there would be no talking until later. He captured her mouth with his and she opened hers, darting her tongue out, battling his. He pinched harder and she moaned again, louder this time.

"Upstairs, baby," he murmured against her mouth, and the next thing she knew he was pushing her up the stairs in front of him.

They undressed each other quickly, once they were in her room, and then he gently pushed her onto the bed. He hovered over her for a second, then straddled her. He pressed against her, then pushed inside her. She gasped as he did. He gently lowered himself on top of her and pressed her legs closer together It felt tight, but it all somehow it made it hotter. "Ooh," she moaned. "Mmm." It was different, but she could feel herself ready to come after only a few powerful strokes on his part. She knew it couldn't be possible, but it felt like he was bigger somehow, a more snug fit that touched on every single bundle of nerves inside her, the long, even strokes hitting in all the right places. "Chip," she moaned. "Oh, my God." Then she was just crying out, the waves of pleasure rolling over her again and again. Her orgasm seemed to last forever. She heard him shout out her name and then felt him empty himself inside her but it all seemed to swirl around inside her head and she could hardly make sense of it.

He rested on top of her, placing little kisses on her shoulders, then one behind her ear. Suddenly he stopped and rolled off her and she whimpered a little. He put his hand on her abdomen. "I shouldn't lay on you like that," he said, between his heavy breathing.

She looked at him and frowned. "I'm okay."

"I don't want to, you know, lay on the baby like that," he said.

She smiled. "The baby's like the size of a lemon right now," she said. "And safe." She grinned. "I asked." She reached her hand out and placed it on his cheek. He was so careful with her and she loved him for that. "I'm fine."

He let his hand slide over her stomach, then frowned. "Nothing seems like it's changed," he said. "I think it's because you're still not eating enough."

"I'm fine, Chip. Really. The doctor said so. And things _have_ changed." She smirked when he glanced at her breasts, which had definitely gotten larger. "Not just that," she said. "The waist of my pants is a little tighter."

He looked at her apprehensively. "Well, I guess if the doctor says everything's okay…."

She smiled. "She does." Then she looked at him seriously. "I think we should talk about this weekend."

He frowned slightly. "What about it?"

She laid on her back, looking up at the ceiling. "I just wonder if you're really ready. If _we're_ really ready." She turned her head to look at him.

He really did frown then. "What are you talking about? We've been talking about this almost since the beginning. We _planned_ this, for this very weekend." He huffed. "Do you not want to do this now? You changed your mind?" He flopped onto his back and huffed again.

She rolled onto her side, putting her hand on his arm. "No, Chip, that's not it at all. But we haven't talked about what you're going to say, how you'll handle it."

He looked at her. "Why would _we_ talk about that? We've gone over the basics. I'm gonna tell her I'm moving out, that I'm in love with someone else, and that we're having a baby. But it's _my_ conversation."

She knitted her brow. "Are you sure you want to do all of it at once?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you want me to do, Connie? Piece it out over several weekends? I don't think that makes sense."

"No, that's not what I'm saying."

He raised his eyebrows. "Then what _are_ you saying?"

She sighed. This wasn't going the way she'd hoped. "I don't know. I guess I just thought maybe we needed to take a minute and not rush into things."

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Connie, we've been taking a minute since before New Year's. It's the middle of February. Time is running out." He sighed. "And I can't keep doing this."

She felt a little irritated, but she thought maybe it was those damn hormones again. "I don't know," she murmured.

He rolled over to face her. "It's gonna be okay, baby. We just need to _do_ this. _I_ just need to do this." He ran the back of his hand over her cheek. "I _want_ to do this. I want to be yours. I want to take care of you" – he gave her a lopsided smile – "even though I know you don't need to be taken care of."

She sighed. "You know, I really don't mind you being here in case I need you. But your family needs you too. Your kids need you."

He dropped his hand and his face turned dark. He glared at her for a moment, then rolled onto his side, his back to her. "Let me know when you finally figure out that I want to be with _you_. And with Yoby, and our baby. Let me worry about the rest." He reached up and turned out the light on his side of the bed, leaving her to look at his rigid back, wanting to cry.

She opened her mouth to say something, but thought she might make things worse. She still couldn't help but hear Carla's words in her head. _Don't rush to put it all out there if you don't have to._ "Just promise me we'll talk about it again when you get back," she whispered, but he didn't acknowledge her. She turned out the light and lay on her side, facing his back, finally falling asleep.

**Chip**

He was still angry when he got up the next morning. He had a mid-morning flight, since he didn't have to work that day. Connie did, but not until later in the day. She was still sleeping when he got out of the shower. He got dressed and combed his damp hair, then walked towards the end of the bed. He hesitated. He didn't really want to wake her, but he also didn't want to just leave without a word. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Connie," he called out. She stirred just a little. "Connie," he said, a little louder. She frowned and then opened her eyes, stretching just a bit.

She pushed herself up onto her elbows. "Are you leaving?" she asked sleepily. She looked over at the clock. "It's so early."

He nodded. "Yeah, it is. I need to stop by my apartment and pack a bag before I head to the airport." She bit her bottom lip. He walked around the bed and leaned over, his hands on the bed on either side of her. "I promise," he said, his voice flat, knowing she knew what he was referring to. Then he kissed her, a peck on the lips.

She sat up then, pulling the sheet and blanket up around her. "Chip," she said sounding like she wanted to say something.

He straightened up. "It's okay," he said. "I promise." He walked over to the door, then turned back. "I'll see you Sunday." And he walked away before she could say anything else.

* * *

He stewed about it all the way to his apartment and then to the airport. He felt confused by the seeming change in her. He'd been ready. He thought she was too. He knew it was complicated and awkward and all those things, but they loved each other, wanted to be together. And he was ready to do this, as painful as it would be. He still hadn't known what words to say, but he had decided to talk from his heart. He knew that wouldn't matter to his family, but it would to him, and he'd felt okay about that. But now she had him off-kilter and he didn't like it. When he landed in LA, he took his phone off airport mode. After a moment, a text from her popped up. _I'm sorry. I changed my mind. If you want to talk afterwards, call me._ He felt a smile cross his face. He didn't know what had changed, but he knew they'd talk about it when he got back.

He breathed in deeply. Now he had to focus on how to deal with telling Patty and telling his kids and he knew he was not nearly as prepared as he needed to be.

**Connie**

She had hated how they'd left things. They'd gone to sleep angry, especially him. She had not slept well and she knew he hadn't either, but there seemed to be no way to cross the divide between them. He hadn't even said 'I love you' when he left that morning. She was sitting in the hair and makeup trailer and after initial pleasantries, she supposed the ladies had figured out she didn't want to talk. Everything was rolling around in her head, including whether she'd just been afraid to let Chip actually rip off the band aid or if it was something more. He had said to her once, early on, when she had fretted about fan reaction, more for him than for her, that he thought it would be okay, that the fans of the show loved that emotional pull between Deacon and Rayna.

"_But we're not Deacon and Rayna, Chip. We're Chip and Connie and this is real life. You're somebody's husband and you're here alone and you and I got caught up in that story. I don't think people will be as forgiving, especially with a baby in the mix."_

"_I know we're not Deacon and Rayna," he said, sounding a little pissy. "What I'm saying is that people love true love. Even when it's messy and complicated."_

_She let it go. Chip was a dreamer and an eternal optimist, as she had learned. He always believed in happy endings and, for him, this was no different. It was one of the things she both appreciated and loved about him, especially when she got caught up in her head. It also made her a little crazy, that he could be so…frustratingly upbeat. She loved him though, and wanted to be positive about the future too, so she smiled at him. "I will definitely agree it's messy and complicated. I'll trust you on the rest."_

She hadn't stopped worrying about it though. Everything Carla had said touched on her fears. But she had put her hand in his the night they'd made love on her couch and she wasn't going to take it back. His energy was both invigorating and addictive. She would watch him, especially when he was on stage, and he'd feed off a crowd. She had seen it just days earlier, when he'd talked her into coming on stage with him to perform the song they'd done for the current episode. Not only had he been able to get her to agree – he was also incredibly charming – but he'd absorbed the excitement of the crowd. She felt swept up by him, in a good way.

So, as she sat on set that afternoon, she had decided to let the chips fall where they may. She loved him, she believed in the two of them, and they were having a baby. She didn't want to wait to be with him, until the exact perfect moment appeared where things wouldn't be messy and complicated. The truth of the matter was that messy and complicated was inevitable and so she decided to go all in. She reached for her phone. She hesitated for only a second before she quickly typed out _I'm sorry. I changed my mind. If you want to talk afterwards, call me._ Her thumb hovered briefly over the send button and then she punched it and the message was sent.

She wasn't even surprised by how at peace she felt in that moment.

**Chip**

As he'd settled into the reality of the fact that Connie was actually pregnant, it solidified his desire to be with her. During the week, when he was in Nashville, he spent as much time with her as he could. they talked often about what it was going to be like to have a baby, what names they liked, although Connie hadn't wanted to be so bold as to settle on names just yet, and how their lives would change. She still didn't look pregnant, except for her breasts, which had become fuller. As she'd moved into her second trimester, her energy level had increased as well as her desire for sex. What he knew for sure was that they needed to be together, go through all this together.

He still hadn't figured out how to break the news. It was hard to focus on other things, as he rolled it over in his mind. Patty had asked him if something was wrong, but he'd panicked and said no. However, that first night when she got into bed and turned to him with that look in her eyes, he waved her off. She looked hurt and asked him why. He said he had a lot on his mind and just wasn't in the mood that night. She seemed to accept that, but he knew he had to figure out what to say by the next day. He couldn't go back to Nashville without telling her he was leaving for good.

* * *

The kids were all out Saturday night, Addie at a sleepover and Taylor and Chase with friends. He found Patty cleaning up the kitchen. He hesitated, then took a deep breath. "You about done in here?" he asked.

She looked at him. "Yeah. What's up?"

"Um, I wanted to talk to you about something," he said.

She looked curious. "Okay."

He nodded towards the family room. "Why don't we sit?"

She looked worried then. "Sure." She put down the dish cloth she was using and walked into the family room, as he followed. She sat on the couch and he sat in the chair that was perpendicular to the couch. He leaned forward, breathing in, not sure how to start. Patty looked concerned. "Is everything alright?" she asked.

He considered what to say, but everything he'd thought about saying didn't seem right. _Just rip the band aid off._ He breathed in, then let it out, rubbing his face. Then he looked back at her. "So, I didn't plan this or expect this, but, um, I, well, I met someone in Nashville. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it just did."

She gasped and sat back and he could see tears forming in her eyes. "I don't understand," she said, her voice shaky. "What does that mean?"

He didn't really answer her question, just kept going. "I didn't go there with that intention, I want you to know that. I didn't go _looking_ for something. It just happened," he said. The truth was, _Connie_ had happened. Everything had changed when he went to Nashville and met her.

She didn't say anything right away, just sat there looking stunned, turning her glance away from him. He could see tears rolling down her cheeks. Finally she looked back at him. "So what does it mean, exactly, that you 'met' someone? Was it a one-time thing? A few times?"

He leaned forward, clasping his hands between his knees, shaking his head. "No, it's been more than that."

She was twisting her hands in her lap, seeming to absorb that. "This happened because you're there and we're here, isn't it?" she huffed angrily. "I knew I shouldn't have let you go without us."

"Patty, that has nothing to do with this…."

She glared at him then. "I don't get it, Chip. Were you lonely? Did she come on to you and you couldn't – _wouldn't_ – resist? I need to know how this happened."

He felt sad, for him _and_ for her. It was true – he'd never thought this would happen. He hadn't intended to break up his marriage or hurt her. He had certainly thought she was the love of his life, back when he'd met her. He'd felt giddy, almost, early on and had thought he was the luckiest man in the world when he had won her heart. They'd had a good life together, but after the kids came, and then when Addie was sick, something changed. They would still have sex, but it was less and less frequent. When they did, it was almost like it was a task or a chore that needed to be accomplished, and then they just turned away and checked it off a list.

He swallowed hard. He needed to be honest – for her sake, for his sake, but mostly for Connie's. Connie meant everything to him and he needed to own that. He ran his tongue over his upper lip. "I fell in love," he said quietly.

She breathed in sharply. "What does that even mean?" she asked, an edge to her voice. "How can you 'fall in love'? You have a family, Chip. A wife and kids. A whole life, with memories and traditions. Kids who idolize you. And you're going to throw all that away for someone you met in Nashville? Someone who probably wanted to sleep with you because you're on a TV show?" She made an angry noise. "How could you do this to us, Chip? How?" She got up and started to pace and he stood up as well.

"It's complicated, Patty," he said. he swallowed hard. _This is it._ "She's pregnant." She turned away from him. He watched her and then saw her shoulders start to shake. "I'm sorry. It was…unexpected." She didn't say a word. Finally he said, "I know we need to tell the kids and we can do that however you want. We can do it tomorrow."

She turned back towards him, her face like stone. "Are you serious? I really can't even look at you right now. And yet you think I'm going to let you stay here one more night? And blow up the kids' lives before _I've_ even had a chance to process this?" She folded her arms over her chest. "I can't believe you did this to us. I don't understand what I did that made you do this."

He shook his head and spread his arms out. "It's not you, Patty."

She nodded. "Yeah, you're right. It's not me. All I've done is take care of you and our children, support you through all the ups and downs, the wins and the losses. I've worked when I would have rather not, because the money needed to come from somewhere. So, were you just waiting for this? Waiting for the opportunity to screw someone else?" She scowled. "And please don't tell me you didn't 'mean for this to happen'."

"But I didn't."

"If you didn't, you would have stopped it the first time. You wouldn't have let it happen again. Or better yet, you would have realized what you were about to do before it ever happened and _you wouldn't have done it at all_. But that's not what this is, is it? You had an affair, Chip! You cheated, because you _wanted_ to, and you did it over and over or how else would she end up pregnant?" She breathed in and out. "I need you to leave."

"What about the kids?"

"I'll tell the kids you had to go back. I need to think about this before we talk to them. Actually before _you_ talk to them about this. You need to think about that too, Chip. How exactly you will explain to your kids, who adore you, why you went to Nashville and made the decision to sleep with another woman and then, even more embarrassingly, knock her up. How proud they'll be."

This was going to be harder than he thought. She was right about telling the kids. As bad as telling her, that would be worse. "I'd like to do it sooner rather than later."

"Oh, I bet you do. Before it's obvious what you've done." She shrugged. "I need some time. I'll let you know when it's the right time." She clenched her fists. "Now get out of here."

He nodded. "I'll go to a hotel." He looked down. "I'm sorry, Patty." When she didn't say anything else, he turned and went upstairs, repacked everything he'd unpacked, and came back downstairs. She wasn't in the family room or the kitchen. He finally saw her outside on the patio, in the dark.

She turned when he opened the sliders. "I thought you were leaving," she said, her voice angry.

"I am. But I didn't just want to sneak out."

She laughed, an ugly laugh. "Like you didn't want to sneak around with another woman?" She shook her head. "Do you feel like a big man now, knocking up some other woman, someone you've barely had time to know, doing it without a care in the world for your _wife_? And your _children_? Just destroying everything we've built together?"

"Patty…."

She waved him off. "I know. You didn't plan it. it just happened," she said sarcastically. She glared at him. "Just leave. I can't stand the sight of you right now."

He didn't have a response to that, so after a few seconds, he did just that. It didn't occur to him until he had checked into a hotel near the airport that he'd never told her it was Connie. And that she'd never asked.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chip**

It had been harder than he'd thought. It had felt painful. He was sitting on the edge of the hotel bed, rubbing his face. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Everything felt like it was crashing down around him. He'd never liked to be the one who hurt someone else. He liked being liked but this was definitely not the way to be liked. He felt like, as hard as it had been to tell Patty, that it would be even harder to tell the kids. He would shatter everything they believed about him.

He thought back to the conversation at the house. Patty's complete shock and disbelief, then her anger. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but he was still a little stunned by the force of her fury. _I don't know why I thought it would be simple. Could be simple. Nothing about this is simple._ They'd been together for so long. She'd been there for all the ups and downs that had led to this. She'd stayed in LA with the kids and he had gone and…what? "Acted like I wasn't married," he whispered out loud.

He found himself wondering if Connie had been right. _ Was this too much? Could she have just moved on and never said who the father of her baby was? Would that have been better? __Would__ she have done it just so I wouldn't feel this much pain?_ His chest felt tight and then, suddenly, it was like a bubble burst inside him and he found himself with tears running down his face, finally putting his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with his pain.

* * *

It was after midnight and he was sitting at the bar in the restaurant next door to the hotel. He'd had two whiskeys and had just ordered a third. The only thought running through his head was whether he could have done things differently. He still felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. He'd come to realize there really wasn't a different way to have handled matters. He had handled it poorly, that he felt for sure. But he also wasn't sure how else he could have broken the news. _Well, I could have not done it at all._

That thought had been swirling around his head ever since he'd left the house. He knew he was in the middle of it and that it had a lot to do with how he felt. He'd questioned his decision to do this at all. He'd been so sure this was what he wanted. He wanted Connie. He wanted their baby. But was that really the right thing to do? The prospect of telling Taylor, Chase, and Addie made him sick to his stomach. As hard as it had been telling Patty, telling the kids would be the hardest conversation he'd ever had. It could destroy everything he loved and he couldn't help but wonder if it had really been worth it.

He looked at his phone and thought about calling Connie, but he couldn't make himself do it. It wouldn't be fair to do that to her when his emotions were still so close to the skin. He needed a little time to let it all settle around him. He breathed in deeply and then knocked back the glass of whiskey, wincing a little at the burn going down his throat. He put money down on the bar, got up and walked out.

**Connie**

She'd been a mess all weekend, wondering how things were going in LA. She had no idea what Chip's plan was and when he would have that conversation with his family. The thought had occurred to her that he might change his mind, especially being with his kids. She wouldn't blame him, but she knew it would hurt to lose him. _But he's really not mine. He's someone else's husband and I had no right to do this. Maybe it's better if it doesn't work out. Better for him, easier for me._ But if that happened, it would change everything. How would they work together? How would they deal with their child?

She crossed her arms over her waist, her stomach in knots. And then what if he did go ahead with it? _Would he regret it? Will it make him resent me? Resent the baby? Quit the show?_ She was giving herself a headache. She wanted to hear from him and yet she didn't. She wished she had pushed him harder to wait. But he'd seemed so determined. He had been so confident he could make things work. She was sure that whatever he did, there would be heartache. And he would be in the middle, no matter which way he went.

She was so conflicted. She truly loved him and yet she had felt angry with herself for letting herself give in to him. She _knew_ better. It wasn't her nature, and yet she'd let herself get caught up in it anyway. She felt guilty and selfish and like she deserved whatever fate had in store for her for her weakness. She put her hand over her abdomen and thought about the tiny life inside of her. For all the wrong of this, the baby was the beautiful part. She would never feel guilty about that, no matter how it had come to be.

She knew Chip was due home soon and she was on edge, waiting to hear from him. But as the sun lowered in the sky, the phone was silent. She had an early call the next day, but she stayed up later than she should have, hoping he would call or stop by. At almost 11:00, she tapped out a text – _are you okay? _– and sat with the phone in her hand until 11:30.

Her stomach hurt when she finally went to bed, worried not only for him, but for them.

**Chip**

He had sat in his car at the airport parking garage for nearly a half hour, trying to decide what to do. He didn't think he could talk about what had happened and how he was feeling right then. He needed to sort through his feelings before he could talk to Connie about the weekend. He wasn't ready to talk to her about what was next. He saw her text before he went to bed, but he just turned the phone to silent and crawled into the bed in his apartment and fell into an unexpected hard sleep, not moving until the sun woke him up the next day.

* * *

He was momentarily disoriented when he woke up, but then quickly remembered he was in his temporary apartment. Then he remembered – again – the awful conversation with Patty and he felt sick to his stomach. Again. He sat up on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face with his backs of his hands. He reached over to the bedside table where his phone was lying face down. He picked it up and turned it over. It was after 10:00. He had one scene that day, which was a scene at Deacon's house, with Robert Wisdom, but he had plenty of time. He knew Connie had an early call for a scene with Judith and that she would likely be gone by the time he got to the production facility. The next few days were filled with night shoots at and near the General Jackson riverboat. He and Connie had several scenes and he knew he needed to figure out what to say to her, how to figure things out for himself.

He sighed. She'd also sent another text. _Are you okay?_ Or was it the same one? No, it was sent just about an hour earlier. _I'm okay,_ he typed out. Then just before he sent it, he deleted it. _No, I'm really __not__ okay, but I can't send that to her._ He knew she was worried and he didn't want to do that to her. But everything was swirling around in his head and he didn't want to see her like that. He set his phone down and got up, heading for the shower.

**Connie**

She was on edge and she was near tears the whole morning. She'd slept poorly and it showed. The only positive was that Rayna was supposedly tired – _you have a lot of energy and I am very tired_ – so it wasn't as bad as it could've been. She nearly choked on the words _I was at Deacon's last night_. She was supposed to feel excited and giddy and yet knew her sister wouldn't take it well. It was as though she were a teenager, back when Rayna was supposed to have met Deacon, but it was hard to play those happy emotions when she felt such turmoil inside.

_She had to ask if they could stop for a moment, let her collect her thoughts. Judith had a concerned look on her face. "Are you okay, Connie?" she asked. "You look like you lost your best friend."_

_She almost burst into tears and, in fact, could feel them rimming her eyes just a bit. She smiled and shook her head. "I'm just really tired. In real life," she said with a short laugh. "I'll be alright. I just need a minute to get my head back in it." She abruptly got up and walked away from the set. She was still worried about not hearing from Chip. He hadn't responded to her text from the night before, so she had sent him another, but she didn't know if he'd picked it up. She wouldn't see him on the grounds that day and that made her a little anxious. He had a location scene in the early afternoon and she would be gone by then._

_She wandered a little ways from Rayna's kitchen set, her arms wrapped around her waist. He was usually good about responding and this silence felt ominous somehow. She needed to get back though, so she concentrated on clearing her mind and running her lines in her head. That always helped and it did again. She turned and headed back to the set which had just recently been built on the production stage. It never ceased to amaze her how she couldn't even tell the difference from when they had filmed at the Roberts home. As she approached she put a smile on her face and then announced "I'm ready" with a smile._

She was headed back to her trailer to change into her own clothes and then she, Yoby and the nanny would head home. And she would continue to wait.

* * *

She had gone to bed early, after she put Yoby down, then cried herself to sleep. When her phone buzzed, waking her up, her eyes felt scratchy and her head hurt. She reached for the phone. It was Chip. She didn't know what to expect and she apprehensively answered. "Hey," was all she said.

"Hey." He paused. "I'm sorry I didn't get back to you before. It's just been…tough. You know?" He sighed. "I'm in your driveway. Can I come in?"

**Chip**

All he'd been able to think about was the fact that he needed to talk to Connie, needed to see her. His agitation meant that he was distracted during the shoot and it resulted in probably more takes than it should have. On his way home, he felt like his thoughts were finally a little more clear. He'd been able to put some distance between what had happened in LA and the emotional reaction he'd had to it. He hadn't wanted to talk with Connie until he felt like he was in the right space and that had meant ignoring her texts, which he'd hated doing.

He thought about some of the words he'd spoken in the scene, words that had resonated with him. _You know, I didn't plan for this to happen, but there it is._ He hadn't planned to come to Nashville and be attracted to Connie, much less fall in love with her, but there it was. When he'd worked through everything in his head – from deciding to tell Patty so he could be with Connie and then actually going through with it – he'd realized that nothing really had changed, even with all the emotions it had stirred up.

He was ready now. Ready to talk to Connie, ready to move forward with his life. Now he needed to see her.

**Connie**

She jumped out of bed, pulling on her robe and sliding her feet into her slippers. Then she hurried down the stairs and into the foyer. She turned on the porch light and then cracked the door open. She saw the light from the inside of his car go on when he opened the door and she watched him get out. Her heart was pounding and her mouth was dry. Her stomach was in knots. The car light went out when she heard the door slam and then she watched as he came into view, jogging up the walk and then up the steps to the porch.

She opened the door then and searched his face as he looked at her. His eyes looked sad, she thought. He looked like he'd been dragged through hell, weary and drained. He approached her and, as he pushed the door closed, he put a hand on the nape of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. She found herself analyzing it for what it meant. _Is this a goodbye kiss or…something else?_ He pulled his lips from hers, then gave her another quick kiss. "Hey," he said.

She gave him a little smile. "Hey," she said back, just waiting. He looked distraught, unsettled, conflicted.

He sighed. "I know I owe you an explanation," he started.

She shook her head. "You don't owe me anything, Chip," she said. She reached up and brushed his hair back off his face. "I'm guessing it was a tough trip." She felt like she was holding her breath, not knowing what to expect next.

He took her hand. "Can we sit?" he asked, nodding towards the couch in the den. She let him lead her over and, when they sat, he took her other hand as well. She felt nervous and realized it must have shown on her face. He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers. "I love you, Connie," he whispered. "That hasn't changed." She swallowed over the lump in her throat and tried to smile. "It was hard, I can't lie. I found myself wondering if I'd done the right thing." He shook his head. "I don't know why I thought it wouldn't be so painful. Even knowing I wanted you, it was painful. I blindsided her. And I really had to think about that."

She squeezed his hands. "I don't think it's ever easy to do something like this, no matter the circumstances." She took a second. "I have to admit that I wondered if we were doing the right thing. That maybe we really should have waited, not made plans, not been so cavalier about it all."

He frowned. "You make it sound like we were careless."

She lifted her shoulders. "Well, we kind of were. In more ways than one." She put her hands on his face. "But we were _in love_. We were in our own little bubble where we could shut out the whole world and just build this little cocoon for ourselves, where the outside world – and all its complications – couldn't get in." She leaned slightly towards him. "I love you too. And I love you in spite of all those who might tell us this is wrong. And maybe I could have done that, when the time came, but" – she felt a little catch in her throat – "now there's a baby. And it makes a difference. It doesn't have to change everything, unless we want it to, but it's there. We're going to have to deal with that."

He closed his eyes briefly as he nodded and then he looked back at her. He put his hands around her wrists, pulling them from his face, and he leaned in and kissed her again. "I can't change the weekend, but what I do know for sure is that I want _you_. I _need_ you. I _love_ you."

She turned to face him. "Do you want to tell me about it? You don't have to, but I'm here to listen if you do."

**Chip**

She looked so sincere, so concerned, but he felt like he needed to spare her the ugliness. "I don't know," he said.

She smiled. "It's okay. I'm sure you don't want to relive it at this point."

He shook his head. "It's not that. I mean, I still have to tell the kids."

She looked surprised. "You didn't get to talk to them?"

"Patty made me leave." Thinking about his kids got him emotional. He wondered what Patty had really told them about why he was gone. He wondered if she had told them, if she had already poisoned them against him. He looked down at his hands. "I blindsided her. I never really considered that maybe she didn't feel all the same things I did. I thought it was no different for her."

"And that wasn't the case?"

He looked at her and felt the dampness in his eyes and he struggled not to lose it. "She was totally caught off guard. And of course, I did a bad job of telling her. I just" – he could feel the tears tracking down his face – "felt so bad hurting her like that. I mean, I knew it would be big, that it would be emotional and all that, but the words didn't…feel right. Like I did a sloppy job."

She put her hands on his face and he thought about how soft they were, how strong she was, and how gentle she was being in the face of everything. "I'm sure it wasn't an easy conversation, whether you had planned it out or not. You knew it would be hard and messy and people would get hurt. I'm sure you were as gentle as you could be."

He shook his head. "I don't know. I told her what I needed to tell her." He put his head down. "I just didn't know how it would feel, you know?" He looked back at her.

"I think I do." She paused, like she had more to say. Which she did. "How did it feel when you did?" she asked, her voice soft. He knew what she was asking – _do you still feel the same?_

He breathed out. "It felt like I'd done the only thing I could." He leaned forward and kissed her. "I fell in love. That's what I told her. And it's true. Here is where I wanna be." Tears started to roll down her cheeks and he wiped them away. "With _you_ is where I wanna be." He smiled at her and she gave him a shaky smile in return. "Did you think I'd change my mind?

She shrugged and tried to laugh. "I don't know. I guess, it was such a big step that I wouldn't really have blamed you for having second thoughts. I mean, you know."

He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. "No second thoughts," he whispered in her ear. He put one hand over her stomach. it still surprised him a little that he couldn't really tell any difference. But he supposed that would come soon enough.

She covered his hand with her own. "In case you're wondering, the waistband is too tight." She looked back at him and smiled.

"How did you know what I was thinking?" he said with a laugh.

She grinned. "Men are always _so_ easy to read."

He hugged her tighter and rested his chin on her shoulder. He wasn't sure how he got lucky enough to have her, but he wasn't going to question it, just enjoy it.

**Connie**

As they lay together on the bed, he had wrapped his arms around her and she put her head on his shoulder and let her right arm drape over his waist. She loved how his arms felt around her, letting her feel safe and loved. When she shut out all the noise around them, she counted her blessings that he'd come into her life. She was also thankful for the little baby inside her that had kept him there. She had no idea what might have happened if there had been no baby. It was the one thing that had made her pause, but she believed things happened the way they were supposed to.

She slid her hand to his chest, letting her fingers graze his skin. "So what did you say to her?" she asked, then turned her head to look at him. "If you want to tell me."

He breathed in, squeezing her shoulder gently. "I can tell you." He cleared his throat. "I told her I had something to tell her and then…I just told her. I wish I'd been a little less blunt, I guess, but I couldn't think of a way to say it, other than to just be honest." He sighed. "I told her I'd met someone, that it was a relationship. She pushed back, which I guess I sort of expected. Wanted to figure out how to get past it, so I had to tell her I had fallen in love and that you were pregnant."

She bit her lip. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to have that kind of conversation with a spouse. "I guess that was tough."

"It was. She got upset, got mad, told me to leave. Oh, and that she didn't want the kids to know yet. So I don't know when that will be."

"What did she say when you told her it was me?"

He didn't say anything at first. "Actually, I didn't tell her that," he said.

She raised up on her elbow and looked at him with a frown. "Don't you think you should? I mean, it's not like you're going to be able to hide that."

He shook his head. "It wasn't intentional. She didn't ask and it was all nasty enough that I just didn't want to make it worse." Then he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the pillow. "Actually, the truth is, it just didn't come up. I didn't do it on purpose."

"So she just thinks it's someone random?" This surprised her. She wasn't completely sure how she felt about it, but she thought it didn't need to be unspoken. Not if they were all going to be able to move on from it. "I think you need to tell her," she said firmly.

Now it was his turn to frown. "You mean, like right this minute?"

"Well, no, but soon. This week."

"Connie, I'd have to call her to do that. I don't want to do it over the phone." He smoothed his hand over her hair. "I'll do it when I go back to see the kids. How about that?"

She felt unsettled by the delay, although she didn't believe it was intentional. But it nagged at her, made her feel like she couldn't do anything until that was done. Until it was _all_ out there. "I guess," she said, and paused. "I mean, I guess there's no alternative. But Chip, I don't want to have it not be out there until there's no way for people not to be able to tell. I don't want it to linger. That's not right."

He ran a hand over his face and sighed. "I promise. I'll do it then. I just don't think it's something to do over the phone."

"I guess." She looked at him earnestly. "Okay. I agree it's not something for the phone. But I think it needs to be as soon as you can."

He put his hand on her face and then leaned in to kiss her. "I will. I will." She felt the hand that was under the covers trail down her back and over her bottom. She felt the flame of desire roar to life. She moaned softly, sliding her leg over his. His eyes held hers, heavy-lidded with desire. A slight smile played over his lips as he let his fingers trail over her inner thigh. She felt him grow hard against her leg and she bit her lip, her breath catching in her throat. He then put his hands on her hips and moved her on top of him. She straddled him, letting her hair trail down her shoulders.

They locked eyes and he gave her that sexy half-smile that never failed to turn her heart over. He moved her again and she raised up slightly so he could enter her. She let out a satisfied moan as she felt him fill her up. "Oh, Chip," she murmured, as she could already feel the spirals of pleasure deep in her core. He held her still. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too, baby," he said. She could hear in his voice how much he wanted her. He reached up and tweaked one of her nipples and it felt like an electric current ran through her body to the place where they were joined.

She moved her hips. "Do that again," she whispered. "But harder." He did as she asked and she gasped, feeling the exquisite mix of pain and pleasure. Her breasts were much less sensitive and so the two sensations were more equal these days. She moved her hips again, establishing a rhythm, and he began to move inside her, hitting her most sensitive places.

He cupped her breast, letting his fingers caress her skin. "You're beautiful, baby," he said as he raised his legs slightly, his angle now tickling her insides. She sucked in her breath, trying to keep from going over the edge too soon.

She smiled at him. "_You're_ beautiful," she murmured. He started to move in and out and she felt herself relaxing into it, which started the telltale tingling inside her that meant she wouldn't last a lot longer. She arched her back, positioning herself so that he was focused right on her most sensitive place. She felt herself start to lose herself in the concentric circles of pleasure rolling through her body, peripherally aware that he was twisting and pinching her nipples. She started to moan as it felt like a flame was touching a match. Then suddenly the match exploded into fire and she could feel the waves of her orgasm rolling over her as she cried out his name, focused completely on the violent pulsing inside her. She was vaguely aware of his own strangled cries as he emptied himself inside her.

"Oh God, Connie," he groaned, breathing heavily as he held her so that he was still firmly inside her. He opened his eyes and looked up at her, his eyes soft with his need for her. "I love being inside you." He made a movement and she flinched, then squeezed hard. She was so ultra-sensitive at that moment. He moved again and she came a second time, softer and less explosive than before, but still extremely satisfying.

She felt like a wet noodle as she let her breath out and relaxed her body. She finally lifted herself off of him, repositioning herself next to him, her head back on his shoulder. He draped one arm around her shoulders, pulling her close, letting his fingers lightly stroke her breast. His touch gave her gentle zingers and a warm feeling inside. When her breathing slowed, she turned her head to look at him. "You can't always distract me with sex, you know."

He chuckled softly, his fingers going back and forth over her skin, occasionally grazing her hypersensitive nipple. "I can't?" he asked teasingly, raising his eyebrows.

She smiled. "Well, you shouldn't," she said.

He smiled back. "But you're so irresistible and sexy."

She could feel her face get warm. "As are you, my love," she whispered. "You're impossible to resist yourself." He moved his hand to her cheek, pulling her closer and kissing her, first softly, then more insistent. He shifted onto his side and his kiss deepened to the point where she could barely breathe. When he finally pulled his lips from hers, she was breathless. He let one finger run down her face, pushing her hair back off her face as he did.

**Chip**

"I want to protect you, Connie," he said. "You're doing something amazing – having a baby. _Our_ baby. I don't want anyone to spoil that." He ran his hand over her hair, looking deep into her eyes.

Her eyes got a little wet. "I love you for that. But you know you don't have to. I'll be okay."

He smiled. "But I want to do it anyway. Will you let me?"

She looked surprised and didn't say anything at first. Then she lightly pressed her palm against his chest. "Are you worried about something?" she asked, her brow furrowed.

He felt a knot in his stomach as he looked at her. Her face was still a little flushed, her hair floating around her face in a messy way. "I don't know," he said. "I guess I'm a little worried about, you know, what's next."

She nodded. "I get it. I worry a little about that too. But we'll get through it. Together." She brushed her lips over his. "I'm actually more worried about _you_."

"You are?"

"Yeah. I mean, you really struggled with telling…her about us." She ran her tongue over her bottom lip. "You _care_ about people, Chip. I know that about you. And this is your family and you don't want to hurt them." She gave him a quick smile. "But it _is_ going to hurt. I know you know that. I know you'll be as gentle as you can be, but I worry about how _you're_ going to feel." She smiled a little more then. "I want to take care of _you_." She kissed him again. "How about we take care of each other? Be there for each other. We do it together and we'll be stronger together."

He had to smile. "You're so smart," he said, and she laughed. "I mean it," he insisted. She let her fingers glide down his hip and something changed in the way she looked at him. She bit her lip slightly and he felt himself start to get aroused again. When she wrapped her hand around him, he groaned in the back of his throat. She shifted herself so she could let him feel how ready for him she was. He couldn't help but groan again as he felt how wet she was. He could already feel the heat emanating off of her. Her mouth was slightly open and he heard her breathe in sharply.

She smiled then, in that lazily sexy way she had. "How about letting me distract _you_ now?" she murmured, and he rolled her onto her back and entered her in one quick movement. As he lay still, letting her adjust to him, she smiled more broadly. "Let me help you forget everything except for you and me." He couldn't imagine anything he wanted more and he started to move inside her, watching her eyelids flutter as she moaned her approval.

**Connie**

When she woke up the next morning, she was alone in the bed. When she looked at the time, she was surprised to see it was after 8:00. She hadn't heard Yoby and wondered if he were still, uncharacteristically, asleep as well. The rest of filming for the current episode would cover the night shoot at the riverboat along the Cumberland and would last for several nights. She and Chip would be filming a scene in Rayna's limo as she left the celebration event on Friday night, so he would not be going to LA that weekend.

She threw the covers back and got out of bed. She slipped on some pajama pants and a sweatshirt and walked out of the bedroom and down to Yoby's room, but he wasn't there. She frowned, until she heard him laughing downstairs. She left and walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, where she saw Yoby sitting in his high chair eating cereal, and Chip leaning against the kitchen island, watching him. "Good morning," she said with a smile, and they both turned to look at her.

"Mama!" Yoby cried. "Chip got cereal!"

"I can see that," she said with a smile, as she walked over to stand next to Chip. She ran her hand up and down his back. "Thanks for doing that, babe."

"I could hear him on the monitor and you were still dead to the world, so I figured I could help you out," he said, with a grin.

"I didn't even hear him," she said. He turned towards her and kissed her. She smiled. "I'm glad you stayed."

"Me too. But what time does the nanny come?"

"Noon. Since Yoby's not coming with me tonight, she's coming later." She looked at him, hoping he could see in her face that she wanted him to stay a little longer.

He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, giving her a kiss. "Does that mean I could hang out with y'all a little longer, then?" he asked.

She smiled. "I'd be disappointed if you didn't."

* * *

Later in the day, as she sat in one of the rooms on the riverboat that doubled as hair and makeup for the shoot, she thought back on the morning. Having Chip stay had felt very much like what it might be like to be a family together. The two of them, hanging out with Yoby, watching a movie. Her son sat on the floor in front of the TV – too close to the screen, really, but she'd been distracted – while she and Chip made out on the couch. _PG rated_, he said, as he'd pulled her in for a kiss. She thought G might be more appropriate, but when he told her it was important for them to be loving in front of Yoby and their future kid, it had melted her heart.

He had run his hand just under her waistband, which had panicked her for a moment, but he just wanted to feel her abdomen. She could see, when she looked in the mirror, a slight roundness, along with a thicker waist. Her bra had gone up a full cup size in just a few weeks, but seemed to have held steady lately. She was sure that wouldn't be the case for much longer, something Chip was looking forward to. She smiled to herself. All of the changes, slight as they were to this point, were something to look forward to.

Now that she was past the first trimester, she was feeling less anxious. About everything. It wouldn't be long before she and Chip could find out the sex of the baby, if they wanted. She hadn't spent a lot of time thinking about that, but now she wondered if she wanted to know. When she was young, and thought about children at some point in the future, it had never been _if_ she would have them, but _when_. And then the opportunity had not presented itself anyway. She had no regrets about not having a baby when she was married – they were young and living paycheck to paycheck – and since the marriage hadn't lasted, it was just as well. She had never had a partner who felt like someone she'd want to be connected to, through a child, forever. That had become important to her. There really hadn't been a man who seemed like he would be there for the long haul. And so she had adopted Yoby, and he had been hers and hers alone.

But then there was Chip and she had fallen in love, in a way she'd never felt before. She had tried to prepare herself for things to end, once the first season was over and his family followed him to Nashville. But then there was a baby. _This_ baby. She rested her hand over her stomach. It still didn't feel completely real, but she'd seen the baby on an ultrasound and so she knew it was. Chip was the perfect partner and she knew he'd be a wonderful, involved father. She knew they had just barely tiptoed into the complicated waters of the dismantling of a family and it made her protective of her baby, just in case they had to go it alone. But he was here and he was supportive and that helped.

She wondered if Chip would want to know the sex, if he had known when his kids came along. When she was a girl, she'd always assumed she'd have a boy and a girl. She had no idea why she thought that, since she had a twin sister. But that felt even and she did like symmetry. Back in those days, she had thought she would have a girl named Misty and a boy named Greg. She had no idea where those names had come from, but she was sure those would not be on her list this time. She smiled a little. Yoby's given name was Eyob, an Ethiopian name, so that he would have something of his heritage. If she was completely honest, she knew she wanted a daughter, and so she thought maybe she wouldn't find out. Just be surprised.

She wondered if Chip would want to know.

* * *

She stood in front of the mirror after she'd gotten into the clothes she was wearing. The outfit was black, both the blouse and the pants. She breathed in deeply and then slid a finger into the waistband of the pants. They were snug and uncomfortable, unless she was standing up, which she thankfully was for this scene. She'd put on some Spanx, which helped, but it also made her worried it would squeeze the baby, or something. The blouse was solid black, but the upper bodice and sleeves were sheer. She ran her fingers through her hair, looking over her shoulder in the mirror to be sure no one from the hair squad was around. She couldn't help it, though. She _always_ ran her fingers through her hair. She arranged the waves over her shoulders, then looked at herself from top to bottom.

She frowned a little when she looked back up, at her cleavage. It seemed so obvious to her that she was bigger, but no one had mentioned it. Or maybe they were just being circumspect. Whatever the case, at least some things were happening because of her pregnancy and she decided she wasn't going to be unhappy about that. She smiled at herself, then turned to leave the room.

She was halfway down the hallway, when she heard a low wolf whistle. She felt her cheeks get warm and she smiled to herself. "Hey, gorgeous," Chip's voice came from behind her. She looked back at him over her shoulder.

"I could say the same to you," she said, stopping and then turning to face him. He took her breath away. He had on a suit jacket and a white shirt that wasn't tucked in, over his black jeans. She was twitching inside and felt a comfortable warmth settle over her. She was pretty sure if he touched her between her legs right then, she would have been wet. She always liked him in a white shirt and he looked especially sexy in this one.

He walked up to her and took her fingers and grazed them lightly before letting them go. "You look sexy and hot," he said, his voice low and dreamy.

She felt herself flush again and touched the tip of her tongue quickly on her bottom lip. "I _do_ feel hot," she murmured.

His eyes got dark and he gave her a knowing look. "I'll fix you all up later," he said and she felt a zinger right to her core. Then he seemed to revert to normal and held his arm out to her. "So let's go let Rayna screw with Deacon's heart."

She slid her arm in his and laughed as they walked up the stairs to where they would be shooting their scene.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: I want to reassure everyone that I will not give up on this story. I'm committed to it 100%. Sometimes work and life leave me with only snippets of time to write, but I'm in this to the end. Thanks for reading and feeling so passionate about Bristen._

* * *

**Chip**

The scene had turned into one of the more complicated scenes they'd done. It was mostly because it was a tight space, in addition to trying to get cameras and lights set up, so it required multiple takes and adjustments. They were making yet another adjustment, so he and Connie were standing in one of the rooms on the hallway. She was getting a little antsy and he knew it was because, first of all, she was tired, and, second, because it was getting late.

She was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed over her waist, tapping her foot. He was standing part way out into the hall, watching the activity. He heard her sigh and turned back towards her. She rested her head against the wall and rolled her eyes. "What?" he asked, giving her a little smile.

"I swear, if we have to do this one more time, I'm going to walk out."

He got it. It was getting late and he just wanted to take her home and wrap her up in his arms. He was also on edge that night. He'd tried to call Patty to make arrangements for the following weekend, but she wasn't answering his calls or returning his messages. Everything was already complicated and now he was getting annoyed. The last thing he really wanted to do was have a similar conversation with his kids like he'd had with Patty. He sighed. He really didn't want to dwell on it right then. "We'll be perfect this time," he said.

She gave him a tired smile. "I appreciate that, but we've already been perfect. It's not us, you know."

His eyes drifted again to her cleavage. The blouse she had on covered her, in theory, but the see-through fabric across her upper chest didn't quite cover the fact that her breasts had gotten noticeably larger. Which meant that her cleavage was that much more prominent and, to him, alluring. He thought about touching her creamy soft skin, his tongue and lips tantalizing her nipples. He took a step towards her and lowered his voice. "Anybody comment on your amazing boobs yet?" he asked.

She caught her breath and her face got a little pink. "Chip!" she whispered, frowning just a little. She tried to tug at the back of the blouse, but it was pointless.

He smiled, raising his eyebrows. "Oh, don't even bother," he said. "I like to look. A lot." He leaned a little closer and made a show of looking down at the tops of her breasts. She raised her hand and placed in the center of her chest. He smiled again and winked at her. "I'm going to pay them some extra special attention later tonight." Her cheeks flushed again and he wondered if that made her nipples hard. He was starting to feel a little aroused, so he cleared his throat and turned away from her, watching the crew finish up.

Just then, the crew was ready and they were called back. Connie brushed past him, giving him a little smile. "Totally waiting for it," she whispered and he just stopped for a second and stared after her. Then he smiled to himself and followed.

**Connie**

She had changed into a pair of loose-fitting yoga pants and a lightweight sweatshirt with a rainbow on it. She pulled her hair back and scrubbed the makeup off her face. She never liked leaving it on after a shoot, so no matter how late it was, she always took the time to remove it. She dried off her face and took the band off of her ponytail and ran her hands through her hair. She found her glasses in her purse and slid them on. Then she walked over and took the light trench coat off the hanger on the back of the door. She slid into it and tied the belt around her waist and left the room.

She took the stairs to the main level. The car service would be waiting for her. She would head home, check on Yoby, let the nanny go home, and then wait for Chip. As she headed out for the parking lot, she felt bone tired. She considered letting Chip know she was exhausted and could they do this the next night, although she knew he'd be disappointed. She thought back to his teasing about her breasts and felt her cheeks get warm. She did wonder sometimes if the wardrobe staff had noticed anything, but decided they were too polite to say it if they did.

As she headed towards the car, she saw Chip standing with Jonathan and Chris. Much of the cast was a good bit younger than they were, but in many ways Chip just seemed ageless. He was gregarious and fun, loved playing practical jokes and was, of course, popular with both the cast and crew. She caught his eye and smiled, raising her hand in a wave. Jonathan and Chris waved back. Her eyes were only on Chip though. He had on jeans and a pullover, his hands in his pockets, and he gave her a knowing smile that made her feel warm all over. He was so adorably gorgeous and she was so glad he was hers.

She slid into the back seat of the car and knew there was no way she'd call him and tell him not to come over. It didn't matter how late it was or how exhausted she felt, she needed him to pay that special attention to her breasts and to take care of the heavy feeling she had between her legs. She never wanted to take him for granted, but she wouldn't have minded staying in bed with him for days, letting him touch her anywhere and everywhere. She could never resist him and never really wanted to. She smiled to herself as the car glided through the parking lot and out onto the streets, taking her home, where Chip would hold her all night.

* * *

The room was dark and he was laying on top of her. Her legs were spread open, but all he was doing was letting his tongue and mouth do amazing things to her breasts. She arched her back slightly and closed her eyes. He had been sucking on her nipples and now he started grazing them with his teeth. They were tight and hard, and her breathing was shallow and fast. She lifted her pelvis against him, but he just kept doing what he was doing.

He lifted his head and she opened her eyes, looking at him. "You've got the most beautiful boobs I've ever seen," he whispered. She smiled. He let his fingers tweak and twist and pull and she could hear herself start to pant.

She groaned. "Chip, I'm gonna come right now," she said, partly because she wanted him inside her and partly because she really was. She could feel the waves start and knew she was right on the edge. He moved one hand down between her legs and pushed two fingers inside her, continuing the exquisite things he was doing to her breasts. She started to moan audibly, her hips moving as he swirled his fingers inside her. She could feel her orgasm starting and she pressed her pelvis hard against him. He pinched hard, pressed his fingers against her sensitive spot, and she let go, crying out a little with the force of her orgasm. As she was coming down from the high, he pushed himself inside her and came within just seconds, it felt like. He pressed his mouth against her shoulder as he cried out, then rolled away from her onto his back.

He reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers. "I'm so glad you're here," he murmured.

She turned her head to look at him. "Of course I'm here," she said.

He rolled onto his side, propping his head up. His hair was messy and, even in the dark, she could see some shininess on his skin. He reached out for a lock of her hair, twisting it around his finger. "I'm serious," he said. "I'd be a mess without you. I just remind myself this is all for us, for the baby."

She rolled towards him onto her side. She flattened her hand against his chest. His skin was slightly damp. She smiled. "I know." She was afraid he'd go down a rabbit hole. It was emotional and it still felt slightly tenuous, after the emotional rollercoaster of his last visit to LA. She decided to try and distract him. "So, do you think Rayna and Deacon got busy in the back of the limo?" He stared at her for a moment, then started to laugh.

**Chip**

One of the things he loved most about Connie was how she could make him laugh. And she always seemed to know when he needed things to lighten up. When he thought about the fact that they'd known each other less than a year, it surprised him how well they understood each other. They weren't much like their characters. He wasn't dark and brooding, with demons chasing after him, and she wasn't as controlling as Rayna could sometimes be. She _did_ know what she wanted and she was passionate about the things she believed in, but she had a softness about her that was oddly surprising. She was both smart and savvy, but she also liked letting him take the lead sometimes and take care of her.

He smiled. "Busy?" he asked.

She grinned. "You know what I mean. Did Deacon ravish her in the back of the limo or did she rip his shirt open and then straddle him in the seat?"

He tried to imagine that, but was uncertain if he could see it. He chuckled. "I don't know. I guess I think Deacon might _want_ to do that, but that Rayna might pull the lady card. I'm not sure she'd want a limo driver to be privy to that. She doesn't seem like she'd be an exhibitionist."

She shrugged. "Maybe not." Then she smiled, a provocative smile. "I _do_ think that, since Deacon was her first, she probably really learned to love making love with him, and I think they were probably pretty uninhibited with each other."

He smirked. "You mean like us?"

She laughed softly and he thought if he could have seen her face, it would be pink. "Well, that's because it's _you_. I don't really think I've ever been with anyone else who turned me on the way you do."

He brushed her lips with a kiss, then leaned his forehead against hers. "Same," he said. She laid her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest. He put his arm around her shoulders and they just lay there together. It felt comfortable being with her. _I'm the luckiest guy in the world._ Just then he heard her softly snoring and he smiled to himself. He kissed the top of her head and held her close, until he fell asleep as well.

* * *

They filmed the limo scene on Friday night. By the time they finally got a good take, it was raining and Connie was quiet. He could tell she was tired. He could see it in her eyes. As much energy as she had during the day, it seemed to get sucked out of her the later it got. They'd had a lot of late nights that week too. He worried about her, although she always told him she was fine and that he didn't need to worry. But he did anyway. She was pregnant with his baby and all he wanted to do was take care of both of them.

That made him think about the fact that Patty had still not responded to him. He wanted to tell the kids the next weekend. He _needed_ to tell the kids. He truly didn't want to have to do it, but he figured it wouldn't be long before it was obvious Connie was pregnant and he felt like things needed to be settled by then. Or at least out in the open. He thought maybe he would just tell Patty he was coming and what his plan was. As much as he dreaded it, he knew it needed to be done.

He shook off his personal thoughts and focused on the scene they were getting ready to do. It was a scene that really cut at the heart of who Deacon and Rayna were, the love they had for each other and the connection they shared. But it was also a scene filled with deception, which was at the heart of their current day relationship. He and Connie had talked about it a lot. She had always hated that Rayna would keep that secret from him and that she would let herself push it down to a place where she could disconnect from it.

"_I just don't know how she could do something like that, to the man she loved. That she did it at all is appalling to me, but then to just continue the lie for all those years. I mean, I guess she was trying to take care of a difficult situation, but as a woman, I just don't know that I could do that. Or think it was the right thing to do," she said, the first time they read the scene._

"_Why didn't he figure it out?" that part confused him._

_She shook her head. "I don't know. I mean, I'm guessing he was drinking then. But how do you forget making love to your girlfriend?"_

"_A blackout?"_

_She looked confused. "Okay, even if I go with that, wouldn't he remember the next day, or something?" She sighed. "Anyway, I can't help but think poor Deacon, saying all those great things about how she didn't have to tell him anything, that he didn't care, and she's sitting there thinking 'thank God, I'm off the hook'. And she's going to, what, keep her secret? I just don't think she can control that the way she does everything else."_

_He smiled at her passion. "Well, I think that's where the love part comes in. She loves him and wants to be with him more than she wants to think about how hard it might be to stay silent. I get that she could do that when she was married to someone else, but this will surely be interesting."_

_She smiled then, leaning over and giving him a kiss. "And we're going to act the hell out of it."_

They would definitely do that.

He stood to the side of the limo, under an umbrella a crewmember was holding over him, as he watched Connie play the scene and then walk to the car. As soon as she got in, he counted to three and then walked the couple steps to the car and opened the door, sliding in. He made himself focus on his lines so that he wouldn't start thinking – again – about whether Deacon and Rayna got 'busy' in the back seat. He had wondered if she had brought it up because _she_ would do it, but he actually thought she would not. She was incredibly private herself and was careful about what she did in public.

They completed the scene without a problem and then sat back in the car when the scene was over, collectively holding their breath until they were told it was a clean take. When they got out of the car and headed for the wardrobe trailers, she looked up at him. "Do you mind if I just go home tonight?" she asked. "I feel like the walking dead."

He thought for a second. He had gotten used to staying at her house most nights, but he didn't want to seem selfish. "Yeah," he said. He knew there was a disappointed note in his voice, but he also wanted to be sensitive to her needs.

She gave him a tired smile. "Thanks. I'm looking forward to the weekend though."

That made him feel better. "Me too." Just before they parted ways, he smiled. "I'll call you tomorrow."

* * *

He was on his way to his apartment when she called. "I'm sorry, babe," she said.

"It's okay. I could tell you were tired."

"You could?"

"Mm hm. I could see it in your eyes. But it's okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

"We can run through our lines." They had gotten the next episode's script a couple days before and had read through it quickly, but had not spent any time on it.

He smiled. "Yeah, we can. But I've got some other things in mind too."

She laughed softly. "I bet you do. And I'm looking forward to that." She paused. "I love you."

"I love you too. Sleep well."

**Connie**

She was selfishly glad Chip was in Nashville for the weekend. It was good to have him at her house, the two of them playing with Yoby, sitting around just talking. Doing normal things. They did go through their script, but in a cursory way. After dinner, though, he surprised her by wanting to take a drive.

"Where would we go?" she asked.

"There's a place I heard about where there's this amazing view of the Nashville skyline. We could be out of the house, but not somewhere in public."

She smiled. "That sounds intriguing. But I can't just leave Yoby."

He shook his head. "No, that's okay. He can sit in the backseat." He smiled. "I promise not to take advantage of his mom." He winked. "At least in the car."

She laughed. "We could make out," she said, her tone teasing.

He gave her a quick kiss. "See? You got the idea here. We can even hold hands."

"You're such a flirt," she said, still smiling.

"I'm glad you noticed." He pulled her into a hug. "So let's get Yoby and head out."

* * *

He drove towards West End and then made a turn onto a dark road, lit mainly by the lights inside of the homes along the winding road. After they'd driven a little ways, he turned into a small park. He slowly followed the road and then turned into a small parking lot. There was another car parked in the lot, but he kept his distance. When he parked, he pointed out the front window. "There it is," he said.

She gasped with pleasure. He was right – it was a stunning view of the skyline, all lit up. She grabbed his hand. "Oh, Chip, that's gorgeous!" She looked at him and smiled. "And the Batman Building!" She laughed. "You won't believe it, but I kind of have a thing for the Batman Building."

"You mean, like a crush on it?"

She swatted his arm and made a face. "No, silly, I just think it's one of those iconic, statement type buildings. It defines Nashville. Don't you think so? I mean, it's like the Hollywood sign in LA or the Empire State Building in New York City." She looked back at the magical sight in front of her.

He nodded. "I guess you're right. It's definitely unusual." He leaned towards her then, putting his index finger under her chin and turning her face towards him. He slowly moved closer and pressed his lips against hers. She sighed. She truly did love kissing him. He rested his arm on the console and reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers. "I wish we still had cars without consoles," he said.

She squeezed his hand. "Yeah, I do too." She turned to look at him and smiled wickedly. "But then we might do something we could regret."

He grinned. "Like what?" His voice had a teasing note to it. "You mean, like taking off your pants and screwing your brains out?"

She laughed. Yoby made a little noise and she turned quickly to look at him. He was still sleeping and she turned back to Chip, her index finger over her mouth. "We can't be loud," she said softly. "And yes, I guess that's what I meant, but in a little more romantic way than that."

He raised her hand to his lips and gave it a gentle kiss. "I think we're probably too old for that anyway. We could really hurt something."

She laughed softly. "Speak for yourself, old man. I'm actually very, uh, flexible."

He raised an eyebrow. "Well, you are that."

They sat back then, quietly looking out over the city. It was nice to get out, even if they were still in a car. She looked over at him. "I have a doctor's appointment next week. Wednesday morning, since I'm not working that day. Can you come?"

He screwed up his face. "I'll have to check the schedule." He paused. "Wait, I don't think I have any scenes that aren't with you, do I?"

She thought for a minute. The episode had some canoodling on tour, then the awkward dinner with Maddie and Daphne. She couldn't really think of anything else. His story was wrapped up in hers right then. She smiled. "I don't think you do. So you think you could come?"

"Probably. Is this a significant appointment?"

She made a face at him. "They're _all_ significant, babe. Don't forget, I'm an _aging mother_. Things can happen."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't keep saying that."

"But it's true."

He frowned. "Well, maybe the terminology is, but I don't like thinking about it that way." He breathed in. "So this isn't when you find out the sex?"

She shook her head. "Next month." She tilted her head slightly. "Does that mean you want to know?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Do you?"

"I'm not sure. On the one hand, it would be nice to know how to plan. You know, do we buy pink or blue?" She grinned and shook her head. "Not that I would follow that."

He smiled. "I'm not having a son who wears pink."

She raised her eyebrows. "You're not, huh?" She laughed. "I doubt I'd do that, but I sort of hate those stereotypes, you know?" She sighed. "There's a part of me that wants to be surprised. I mean, I've wanted this and now I have it and I kind of want to experience everything when it happens. Would you be upset if we let it be a surprise?"

He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "We're gonna do this however you want to do it, baby. I want you to get everything you want."

She breathed out. "I think I want to wait. But I could change my mind." He smirked. "Have you thought at all about names?"

He looked amused. "No. Have you?"

"Not really. I feel like we should, but I guess we can wait."

"If you want to, we'll do it."

She thought about that for a second, then shook her head. "I don't think we need to yet. Although if you think of something you like, write it down. I will too." She looked at him then, thinking how considerate he was and how lucky she'd been to end up on this show with him. _He's definitely that person I've been waiting for._

He gave her a little smile, then leaned towards her and let his lips capture hers. She opened her mouth to his and then he put one arm around her shoulders, pulling her as close as the console would allow. He let his other hand slide up under her top and fondle her breast. She increased the intensity of the kiss, feeling her body react. She could hear him breathing harder, sucking hard on her lips and tongue. She wanted him to touch her skin and it was like he could read her mind. He pushed the material of her bra aside so he could cup her breast. She loved the feel of his rough, calloused fingers on her skin. His arm pulled her closer, tight against the console. His fingers kept stroking her skin, his thumb just grazing her nipple. She didn't want him to stop and she wanted him to do more.

She could feel herself fading into all the sensations she was feeling, hungrily kissing him. Then he tweaked her already hard nipple and she groaned, feeling that exquisite fullness between her legs, a throbbing sensation. She groaned again and he slowly and reluctantly pulled his lips from hers, sliding his hand out from under her shirt. His eyes looked a little wild and he was panting. "I need to get you home," he murmured, his voice crackling with emotion. "Or we're gonna have to test just what we can do in the front seat of this car."

She couldn't find her voice in the moment, so she just nodded and smiled.

**Chip**

He had his arms around her, holding her close, as they lay together in her bed. She was lazily running her foot up his leg to his calf and back down. Her head was on his shoulder and her arm around his waist. She sighed then. He looked down at her. "You okay?" he asked. They had just made love to each other in a languid, but very satisfying way. Many times, especially early in their relationship, they wouldn't take the time to just explore each other, dragging out the ultimate satisfaction. She had excited him, then, to the point that he often couldn't wait to even head up the stairs to her bedroom. Fortunately she had been just as eager, encouraging him to take her fast, rough, and hard. But he felt immensely fulfilled, lying there with her in his arms after making love in a deeply intimate way.

She moved her head to look up at him. Her hair was a mess and her lips were a little puffy from kissing. He thought she never looked more beautiful than when they were together in the aftermath of sex. She smiled. "I was just thinking how amazing that was," she said. She got an impish look on her face. "I just find you impossible to resist."

He smiled back. "I like hearing that. And I feel the same about you, baby. You inspire me."

She laughed out loud. "Really?"

He nodded. "Really. I love sex with you."

She shivered. "That's nice to hear," she said. She looked pensive for a second, then looked back at him. "I thought I knew what love was, but I realized I never did. Until now. I mean, it almost feels like a spiritual experience."

He smiled. "Looking at _you_ is a spiritual experience." She shook her head at him, although she was smiling. "What? You are." He let his fingers graze up and down her arm. "You sure you don't want to know if we're having a boy or a girl?"

"I don't think so. Although I guess I could change my mind." She looked up at him. "Do you? Did you find out when your kids came along?"

"All three, we did. It does help, I guess, in planning and getting things." He thought back to those times, trying to remember if it mattered. Patty had wanted to know. He didn't recall feeling that strongly about it. "I suppose it does take away some of the mystery."

"Right. Like reading the end of the book before you finish." She rubbed her fingers on his chest. "Do you have a preference? Boy or girl?"

He shook his head. "I don't. So long as they're healthy. And I've got both, so no, not really." He kissed her forehead. "Do you? Have a preference?"

She smiled a little shyly. "A girl. I have a son and I'd love to have a daughter. I mean, if it's a boy, it doesn't matter because I'd love him anyway, but one of each would be nice."

He smirked. "I'll warn you, girls can be a handful. Boys are much more straightforward."

She wrinkled her nose. "I guess they are. But I'm still hoping for a girl. I just, I sort of don't want to know because I know that when the baby's born it won't matter. Like you said – healthy, ten fingers and ten toes, everything where it's supposed to be, girl _or_ boy."

"Then we'll wait," he said, brushing his lips over hers. She rolled over then, her back to him, and he fitted himself against her, his hand over her waist. He ran his hand over her stomach, feeling the beginnings of a little pooch. It wasn't noticeable yet, particularly when she was dressed, but it was something she'd fretted about, worried it meant something was wrong. "I can feel something here," he whispered, still rubbing his hand over her.

She nodded. "Me too." She sighed. "I keep telling the ladies in wardrobe that it's one of the downsides of getting older. So far we're good though."

He kissed her shoulder. "I'm gonna tell the kids this coming weekend, so then you're good to tell whoever you need to." He chuckled a little. "You think they'll have Rayna get pregnant?"

"Of course not," she said. "Rayna's a smart woman. She remembers her birth control every day." She laughed. "Unlike her portrayer who thought she was too old for this."

He hugged her tight. "Thank God you're not."

She rolled over to face towards him, a look of surprise on her face. "Do you mean that? It was pretty inconvenient."

He breathed in slowly, then ran his hand over her hair. He put his hand on the back of her neck, letting his thumb brush over her jaw. "Maybe it was, but it made my decisions a lot easier." He kissed her. "it meant I had to do something. I hate hurting people. I would stay in a bad situation or, in this case, a less satisfying one, rather than have to own up to my own feelings and make a change. I wanted to do this, be with you. And I would never have left you to do all this on your own. I _want_ to do this with you."

He could see the tears in her eyes. She put her hand on his cheek. "I wanted to do this with _you_. And I wanted you to want it too, but I also knew how hard it could be." She smiled. "I love you."

He kissed her. "I love you too." He laid back against the pillow and she went back to resting her head on his shoulder. Before long, they had both drifted off to sleep.

**Connie**

They were driving back from the doctor's office. She was staring out the side window. When Chip took her hand in his, she turned back towards him and gave him a little smile. He looked a little worried, but smiled back. "Are you still thinking about what the doctor said?" he asked.

She sighed. "It makes me worried I'm not doing the right things." She'd been feeling mostly good about everything, but then Dr. Hamilton had expressed some mild concern about the baby's growth rate and it had put her in a little bit of a funk. "I mean, I guess you were right when you chastised me for not eating enough."

His smile turned to more of a frown. "I wasn't chastising you," he said.

She raised her eyebrows. "You were, Chip. You were always looking at me exactly the way you are now. I am doing better now."

He squeezed her hand. "I know, baby. And she wasn't overly worried. She said that."

"Well, she did tell me to eat more. But I can't just eat all the time."

He lifted her hand up and kissed the back of it. "Hey, hey, don't worry so much. You heard her say you'd probably start catching up over the next few weeks. And she didn't say there was anything wrong with the baby."

She leaned her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes. "It's just one more problem with being a geriatric mom. There are so many things to worry about. Especially at my age." She opened her eyes and looked at him then. "I'm going to be 46 in just a couple weeks, Chip. And the baby's at risk no matter what I do." She felt herself tear up. "I think we have sex too often."

"What?" He sounded incredulous. "Are you kidding me?"

She frowned. "No, I'm not. I'm sure it's jostling the baby around and that can't be good."

"That's ridiculous, Connie."

She knew she was being obstinate and probably silly too, but she'd been feeling good about things over the last few weeks and now she wasn't. "It's _not_ ridiculous, Chip," she said.

"So, what, you think it's going to, I don't know, shake the baby loose or something?"

She put her hands over her face and felt tears in her eyes. She knew she sounded crazy, but she really didn't want anything to happen to their baby. "I don't know," she wailed.

She could tell he was pulling off the road and then the car came to a stop. He pulled her hands gently from her face and when she looked at him, he had such compassion in his eyes. "It's fine, Connie. The baby's fine, sex is fine, and you just haven't gained a lot of weight. You're probably just one of those late bloomers."

She had a visual of a flower popping open and maybe her belly popping out the same way and she couldn't help but smile and then she laughed. "I've never been a late bloomer in my life," she said, still laughing. "I was always ahead of the curve on _everything_. And I'm definitely getting more booby every day, so _that's_ not late blooming."

He gave her a sly smile. "And I'm eternally grateful about that."

She swatted at his arm. "You're terrible."

He nodded towards her swollen breasts, which always seemed about ready to pop out of her blouse. "Baby, you've got the best set of tits I've ever seen and now, well, now they're just magnificent."

She laughed out loud. Then she leaned over the console and kissed him. "Thank you for making me laugh. And getting me out of my funk." She brushed her hand over his cheek. "You always know what to say."

His gaze turned intense as he looked back at her. "Everything's going to be okay, Connie. I just know it is. We can't have gotten this chance, just to have it taken away. I just don't believe that." He reached out and pushed her hair back from her face. "Let's get you home and I'll take really good care of you." He smirked at her and she smiled. She knew what that meant and, even with her concerns, she knew it would make her feel a lot better.

**Chip**

The one scene they were shooting that day, Rayna and Deacon in her dressing room, seemed like it took forever to film. They'd had to do multiple takes before they finally realized they needed to just get it right. But it was a kissing scene and, although it wasn't those deep kisses they both preferred, anytime they had a chance to snuggle up and touch each other and kiss was a treat, so they would sometimes intentionally mess up so they could do it over. They were getting a fair amount of it now, with their characters being together, but it didn't stop them from not getting it quite right so they could do it again. And again.

He smiled to himself as he headed across the back lot to his trailer. Connie would follow at an appropriate distance so they could have a little alone time before he left for LA. He would drive straight to the airport for his flight and he was already a bundle of nerves. Patty still wouldn't return his calls and he'd finally just left a message that he was coming and when he would arrive and that he was expecting her to be there when he got there. It didn't stop him from feeling anxious though. He'd tried to hide it from Connie, but he didn't think she was fooled by his casual demeanor. He'd caught her more than once eyeing him carefully, although she would smile when he caught her eye, letting her face relax and acting like nothing was amiss.

He looked in the mirror and picked up a comb to run through his hair. He rubbed his face and breathed in deeply. He wasn't shooting on Monday so he was not coming back to Nashville until then and he already was missing Connie and Yoby. He rarely was at his apartment any longer and he thought about letting production know he wanted to give it up, once everyone who needed to know about their situation was apprised. Just then he heard the click of the door and he turned to see her slip in quickly. She closed the door behind her and looked at him, smiling.

"Hey," she said, walking over and putting her arms around his waist, leaning into him.

"Hey." He smiled back and kissed her deeply, as she arched her back, pressing closer to him. When he pulled his lips from hers, he laughed. "_That_ was so much more satisfying."

She grinned. "Yes, it was." She stepped back and took his hand, leading him to the bench seat. "Come talk to me," she said. When they were seated, facing towards each other, she took his hands in hers and looked at him thoughtfully. "How are you feeling right now?"

He frowned a little and shrugged. "Fine. Why?"

She made a face. "You're getting ready to go to LA and I know you don't want to bother me with this, but I can tell you're nervous."

He shook his head. "I'm not nervous."

She looked at him appraisingly. "I think you are, but you're definitely anxious. And why wouldn't you be? I know the anticipation is tough and you probably have a lot of conflicting feelings."

He shrugged again. "Yeah, sure, I'm concerned with how it will go, but I'm prepared."

"Are you?"

He frowned. "Connie…" he started.

She shook her head. "I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you and wanted to support you. This is the big conversation and it's a big deal and I know you want it to go well, but that you're afraid it won't."

"What are you, a mind reader?"

She smiled. "No. I can see it on your face and in your posture and by the tension I feel in your body sometimes." She sighed then. "I am _so_ glad you're in my life and I love you _so_ much, but I'm _worried_ about you. About what this is doing to you. I know we're having a baby and it was completely out of left field, but I worry."

"What do you worry about?"

She looked off to the side. "That you might be sorry about all this one day. Because I took you away from your family." She looked back at him. "I want you to…."

He looked at her angrily. "I want to be with _you_, Connie. How many times do I need to say it before you believe me?" He could see her want to interrupt, but he kept going. "It was always going to be tough, because I wanted to be with you, almost from the beginning. I knew, the moment I met you, that you were the one for me. In spite of everything else in my life – and my kids mean _everything_ to me – it's _you_ who I was meant to be with. I know we didn't do this the traditional way and I know it makes us both feel guilty, but I love you, deep down in my soul, and I think you love me the same way. It's not like you being pregnant changed things or made me feel so responsible that I abandoned everything else for this. I will not resent you or our baby. All of that just makes this so much sweeter." He breathed in deeply. "_This_ is what I want. A life with you. I will _never_ regret this." He had a lump in his throat and his emotions were right under his skin. "Please don't worry. We'll survive this. We _will_."

He watched all the emotions cross over her face and then she took a deep breath. She leaned a little towards him and then put her hands on his face. "Thank you," she whispered, tears in her eyes and her voice. "I'm so lucky I found you. And I _do_ love you, deep in my soul. I never thought I'd ever have this…." Her voice trailed off as the tears in her eyes rolled down her cheeks.

He pulled her close and kissed her. "You're everything to me, Connie," he repeated. "_Everything_."

She smiled tentatively and then laughed, the sound a little shaky. But her face told him the truth. "I know," she said softly. "You're my everything too." She laughed again. "I'm going to claim hormones again."

He kissed her again and grinned at her. "You only get that excuse for another 5 months, you know," he said.

She smiled, kissing him back. "I know. But I have to use it to my advantage while I have it." Then they both laughed and he pulled her close, feeling his anxiety fade a bit, knowing she would be here when he got back.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chip**

His hands felt clammy as he drove to the airport. He felt sick to his stomach. He supposed this wouldn't be happening had he never gotten the role of Deacon Claybourne and left his family to work in Nashville. Of course, the plan was for them to wait to see if the show was picked up for a second season before the whole family would make the move. What he hadn't planned for, obviously, was the chemistry between Connie and him. It had been unexpected, for both of them, but it had been impossible to deny. When he thought about it, he realized he'd been not unhappy but not happy. It had felt like he was sleepwalking through the marriage. The chance to go to Nashville and live on his own had been appealing. He'd hidden it from Patty, but when he'd first gotten to Nashville, he'd gone out on the town with some of his younger castmates and had let loose a little.

Connie had always been on his mind, though, ever since he'd met her at that first table read. She'd told him he was not what she'd expected and he'd told her she was everything he had. The spark was there from the beginning but she hadn't encouraged anything. She had her son and she'd headed home with him every night. The friendship had caught on quickly and before long they were thick as thieves. It had started after they'd done the Bluebird scene in the second episode. Afterwards she was as skittish as her character around him. It had all come to a head when they'd done the scene in Rayna's dream two episodes later. It had been obvious she had feelings for him and he for her. The scene was so intimate and it had felt like they had stripped Connie and Chip bare at the same time.

All of which led to where he was now. On his way to the airport to tell his kids he was leaving their mom and their family. His preference would have been for it not to have happened the way it was unfolding, but it was the cards they'd been dealt. As much as he did not want to hurt them, he'd come to understand how tied in knots he'd been for the past five years. He'd been unhappy and Connie Britton had changed all that.

* * *

He landed in the middle of a Friday afternoon. Traffic was terrible and it was close to 5:00 when he pulled into the driveway of the Sherman Oaks house. He sat in the rental car for several minutes, working up the courage to get out of the car, walk up to the front door and blow up his kids' lives. He finally opened the car door and got out. It was then that Patty came out onto the porch and walked determinedly across the walkway towards him, a scowl on her face. He shut the door and waited.

She stopped several feet away from him. "I told you not to come," she said.

He shook his head. "No, you didn't. You just never responded to me." He frowned. "I told you I needed to come."

"Needed to come tell your kids some tawdry little story about how you moved away to Nashville and forgot you were a husband and a father? Did you want to tell them how you took advantage of not being here to let yourself be dazzled by someone else? That you thought so little of us that you pretended we didn't exist?" Her voice was cold and harsh.

"No. That's not what this is and you know that, Patty." She looked away. "This" – he waved his hand between the two of them – "hasn't really been working for a while. We've held it together for the kids, but is it better to pretend we're happy when we're not? Isn't it better to be happy ourselves and not lie to each other and to them?" He put his hands on his hips. "I _know_ this isn't going to go over well. I'm willing to accept that this is all on me. I met someone else. I fell in love with someone else. And if I lose them because of this, well, I won't like it, but I'll know it's on me. I'll do whatever I can to fix that. But I can't be just treading water anymore and I would think you wouldn't want to do that either."

She looked back at him then, an odd look in her eyes. "It's _her_, isn't it?" He couldn't speak. "Your co-star." He swallowed hard. "Just admit it. It's going to be obvious soon enough, right? Everyone will know you knocked her up. You couldn't keep it in your pants. You couldn't honor your vows and your family. You had to rub our faces in it." There was an ugliness in her voice that also showed in her face.

He had a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. it wasn't that he thought he could avoid people knowing, but, for some reason, he had really not been prepared for this yet. He finally found his voice. "So what do you want me to do, Patty? What do you want me to say?" He cleared his throat. "Yeah, it's Connie." She looked away, a devastated look in her eyes. "We didn't plan it. _I_ didn't plan it. I'm sorry it went this way." He took a few steps towards her. "I can't avoid it now, though. I need to come clean and then see where we are."

**Connie**

By the time she left the set, it was after five Nashville time. It was close to the time Chip would arrive in LA. She wondered how he was feeling, how nervous he might be. It made _her_ nervous. She was distracted all evening, hoping she would hear from him, wondering if maybe she would not, that he was too upset by how things had gone.

As it got later in the evening, she sat down in the den with her script, trying to concentrate on her scenes for Monday. She was filming several small scenes – Rayna listening to Will Lexington, Rayna confronting Teddy over a restraining order – but she couldn't stay focused. She threw the script down and walked into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and looked inside. She leaned over and looked onto the shelves. There was leftover Chinese food, several cartons of yogurt, grapes, Chip's beer. She sighed and looked over at the range clock. _9:48._ She needed to go to bed, but she kept hoping she'd hear from him. She closed the refrigerator door and walked back into the den.

She crossed her arms over her waist and looked around the room. She picked up the remote and turned on the TV. The news was on. She muted it and threw the remote on the couch. She walked over to the back door and flipped on the back porch light. She peered out through the blinds. It was dark, but it was hard to see anything because of the light from the kitchen behind her. She unlocked the door and stepped out on the deck. There was a chill in the air and she wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.

She wished he was here. With her. She thought it was probably the pregnancy, but she missed him when he wasn't around. She had gotten used to falling asleep in his arms and she missed that too. Maybe it was because his plan was to tell his kids about them, about the baby, that made her wonder what he would be like as a dad. What he was already like as a dad. She'd never seen him with his kids. The way he'd described his relationship with them let her know they were close. He was proud of them and it seemed that they enjoyed being with him. So many times teenagers wanted nothing to do with their parents, but it didn't sound that way with his. It would be a tough conversation for him, a hard pill to swallow for them, she was sure.

She turned and walked back in the house, locking the door and turning out the light. She went around and turned out lights downstairs, as well as the TV, then picked up her phone and headed up the stairs. She checked on Yoby, who was sleeping soundly, and then went into her own room. The bed was still unmade from that morning. When she walked into the bathroom, the t-shirt he'd slept in the night before was on the floor. She picked it up and held it to her face, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. It smelled like him, with a faint woodsy odor. Tears unexpectedly filled her eyes. She folded the shirt and laid it on the counter.

She looked at herself in the mirror, then lifted her shirt. She put her other hand over her stomach, lightly brushing over her skin. She turned to the side. It was easily disguised, but there it was, the hint of a bump. Where her stomach had been flat, now it was not. Chip liked to put his hand there, when they were in bed at night. She could almost feel the touch of his hand on her skin. He could cover it completely, the roughness of his fingertips playing against her as he explored. His fascination always made her heart swell with love. He would smile at her, the hint of tears in his eyes, before he would ever so gently kiss her, telling her how happy she made him.

She was ready for more. She wanted a real belly, one that said 'there's a baby in here'. She wanted to look pregnant, not just feel that way. She wanted to feel the baby move inside her, be able to share that with Chip. Her thoughts went back to him, yearning to hear from him, but wanting to wait for him to call. She dropped her shirt and then walked over to the bed. She laid down and pulled the covers up over her. She hadn't realized how exhausted she was until her head hit the pillow. She was asleep in minutes.

* * *

The buzz of the phone startled her awake. She felt disoriented for a second, then saw the glow from the phone. She reached for it and saw that it was Chip. "Hey," she answered as she put the phone to her ear.

After a moment of silence, he said, "It was worse than I thought it would be." His voice was raw with anguish and pain and she could detect just the slightest slurring of his words. She longed to be able to put her arms around him. "I don't know…." His voice trailed off and she thought he might have been crying. She was positive he'd been drinking.

She sat up in the bed, her heart aching for him. "Come home," she whispered. "Come home to me."

**Chip**

He'd had to wait for an early morning flight, so he found a bench in the terminal and curled up on it, his duffel beneath his head. He hadn't even opened it up. He'd had several shots of whiskey at the pub on the Southwest terminal, hoping it would help him doze, but every time he closed his eyes he saw the faces of Taylor, Chase and Addie. Their judgment, their pain, their fury.

He'd known from the beginning he couldn't tell them the complete truth, that he and Patty had just drifted apart, that it had nothing to do with the fact that he'd fallen in love with another woman. It probably wouldn't have happened had they all not stayed behind in California, but he couldn't even say that for sure. Even if they had, it wouldn't have changed the fact that he and Patty no longer worked. The thing with Connie had felt inevitable, like they belonged together in a deeply intimate way, and maybe it would have happened anyway. It felt like they were two parts that made a whole. That by itself would be tough enough, but now there was a baby, a tangible part of each of them. Something they had made together, no matter how unintentionally. It was complex and there was no easy way to explain it, to make it seem less than what it was. He had hoped, well, he didn't even know what it was he'd hoped for anymore, because it certainly had been a disaster.

_They had listened, silently, as he had haltingly told them he and Patty were splitting up. He had rushed into the why, before any of them could ask. His words came out like stream of consciousness talking, that after a bit of time in Nashville, he'd met someone, someone he'd been very attracted to, someone he'd gotten into a relationship with. He had apologized for that, apologized for hurting their mother, apologized for not being the role model he would have wanted to be for them. He had wanted to say that things like that didn't happen in a vacuum, that if the marriage had been solid he would never have strayed. But he didn't want to put the blame on Patty, when it was all his to shoulder. He couldn't explain it to them, he'd said, the reasons he'd not been able to stop it. He told them he had fallen in love._

_That was when Addie had stood up – his baby, his special girl – and shouted that she hated him, that she never wanted to see him again, that he was a horrible father and a horrible person. He had tried reaching out to her, but she had pulled away like he was a leper. She told him she would never talk to him again and that he was dead to her. His heart was broken in a million pieces as she stormed out of the room. He heard her run up the stairs and, a moment later, the furious slamming of her door._

_Chase told him he would never be able to look at him the same way again. That he'd been the person he'd always looked up to, always wanted to be like, and was his hero. 'I thought I knew you, Dad, but obviously I never knew you at all.' And then it was just Taylor._

_She had sat there through all of that, tears running down her face. 'I looked up to you,' she said. 'What little girl doesn't think her daddy hung the sun, the moon, and the stars. I always thought you were the perfect man, just like you were the perfect dad. I've never been so disappointed in someone in my life. I can't wrap my head around what you did to Mom. Or why you couldn't have tried harder to make it right.'_

_It was the one thing he hadn't yet said. He was crying, just like they were. He'd known he could lose them, but somehow he had deluded himself into thinking maybe it wouldn't be that way. He put his head down for a moment, then looked back at his oldest daughter. He breathed in and then, over the giant lump in his throat, he said quietly, 'Because she's pregnant'._

_Taylor put her face in her hands. He reached out to try to comfort her, only to have her jerk away from him. Her face was a mix of anger, deep hurt, and disgust. She stood up. 'Maybe someday we can move on from this, but I'm not even sure how we'd do that.' Then she walked out of the room._

He'd never felt so devastated in his life. It had felt like his heart had been torn out, only he was the one who'd done it to himself. He wanted to stay and beg them to listen to him, to know that it had nothing to do with them, that he loved all three of them more than anything, but he'd known it would do no good. He needed to give it some time, although he didn't know if they'd ever be able to heal. He hoped that with time, the disappointment would fade, the hurt would lessen, and they could move forward. He had finally gotten up and walked out of the house, then drove to the airport without even remembering how he'd gotten there.

He had no idea what time it was when he finally called Connie, but her sleep-tinged voice, soft and welcoming was all he'd needed to hear. When he heard her say _come home_, he had known it was the only thing he could do. For now.

**Connie**

He'd texted her when his flight left LA. It would be mid-afternoon before he got to Nashville. She wondered if he would come to her house or go to his apartment. When he'd told his wife, he had stayed away for a couple days, so she was prepared either way.

She was looking over her lines for Monday, saying them out loud and practicing how she might say them, when she heard the knock at the door. It was nearly 4:00 and Yoby was down for a nap. She laid her script on the coffee table and headed for the door. She opened it and he was standing there, looking a little like he'd been hit by a bus. His hair was matted and disheveled, his clothes wrinkled. He still had his sunglasses on and she suspected his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. It made her want to cry, but instead she reached for his hand and pulled him in the house. It was kind of like he was the walking dead, not showing any emotion, his hand limp in hers.

She led him to the couch and he sat, or more accurately, he seemed to just collapse. She sat next to him, then reached out and pulled him into her arms. She kissed him on his cheek, then his temple, smoothing his hair with her hand. She took off his sunglasses and tossed them gently on the table. His eyes looked swollen and he closed them as he relaxed into her embrace. She rocked him gently, making little soothing noises like she did with Yoby when he was distraught. He clung to her and finally started to cry, without any sound, just huge tears rolling down his cheeks. But he was home and he was with her and she would take care of him.

* * *

He woke her in the middle of the night with little kisses on her back and her shoulder and her neck. He had his arm firmly around her waist, his hand pressing her tightly against him. He felt hard as a rock against her back. His fingertips were against her lower abdomen and she could feel all her nerve endings uncoil. He nudged at the back of her knees with his own. When she slid her top leg up and over his hip, he groaned and nipped her lightly on the shoulder. She shifted slightly and then she felt him thrust into her swiftly and forcefully, taking her breath away. He slid his hand up to her nipple, tugging at it roughly as he continued to thrust in and out of her hard and fast.

He was breathing hard against her neck as he picked up his rhythm, the friction making her feel like she was going to go up in flames. Suddenly he made a strangled noise and thrust into her hard and deep and when she felt him explode inside her, she arched her back, squeezing him tightly, and then she was rocked by her own orgasm as she let out a long, low groan. She saw stars behind her eyes and she was barely conscious of him pinching her nipple tightly between his thumb and index finger. Her orgasm kept rolling over her and she wondered if it would ever stop.

He seemed to collapse then, his mouth against her shoulder. She lay there quietly, feeling the warmth of his skin surround her. He had been uncharacteristically, though understandably, quiet, after he got to her house. He smiled at Yoby and allowed himself to be a little more animated then, but he'd talked about innocuous things mostly. She wanted to ask him about what had happened, but she knew it had been bad and she didn't want to push. She assumed he'd talk about it in his own time. He kissed her shoulder then. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Did I hurt you?"

It had been fierce and she knew it had come from a devastated place inside him. He'd been rougher with her than she could remember, but she had believed it had come from his pain. She shook her head. "I'm fine," she said. Her nipple still throbbed a little from where he'd pinched her and the soreness between her legs had a little sting to it, but she _would_ be fine. She rolled over to face him.

"I don't want to hurt the baby," he said.

She smiled a little. "Weren't you the one who reminded me the baby is protected?" He didn't say anything, just looked at her. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

He closed his eyes. "They hate me now."

She frowned. "That can't be true, Chip. Angry I understand, but hate? That seems extreme."

He shook his head. "Addie said she hated me. Chase and Taylor are embarrassed. They don't want to be around me."

She put her hand on his cheek. "Oh, babe, I'm sure it's just the first emotion. It'll settle down. Maybe not right now, but it will." She couldn't even imagine how it must have felt to hear those words.

"You weren't there, Connie," he said, his voice a little terse. "You didn't see the way they looked at me. I don't know if I'll ever get to see them again."

Her heart ached for him and she wasn't sure how to help. She felt like anything she said would just seem trite and insensitive. She reached out and ran her index finger down the side of his face. "I'm here for you, babe," she said quietly. "Just let me be here for you."

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. When he opened them again, he looked at her intently, making her wonder what he was thinking. "If you don't mind, I don't want to talk about it right now. I just can't."

She nodded. She didn't want to push or make him feel uncomfortable. Although she truly believed that eventually he'd be able to rebuild those relationships, she wanted to give him space to work through it on his own. She sensed that he probably felt pulled at both ends and she didn't want to be needy or a burden. "Anything you need from me, just let me know. Even if it's space."

He looked at her for a moment, then ran his hand down over her hair, finally putting his hand on the back of her neck. He gently pulled her towards him and kissed her on the forehead. Then he pulled her into his arms and settled back on the pillows. She laid her head on his shoulder and put her hand on his chest. She was awake for a long time, and she suspected he was as well, but they didn't speak, just held each other. She finally drifted off, not waking again until the next morning.

**Chip**

"I think I'm going to be in those pants all day, even if it is just a pretty short scene," she said, sitting in one of the Bridgestone dressing rooms. "I'm dreading putting on those Spanx." They were filming at the arena all week, a variety of scenes, but mostly centered on the CMA's and the drama of Deacon confronting Rayna about being Maddie's father. There had been some chatter around the possibility of combining the last two episodes, which seemed impossible. So much happened in the last two episodes that would really set up the next season, assuming they were renewed. He wondered what would get cut.

He smirked. "I'm looking forward to seeing you in that sparkly top," he said. Not only was she wearing some tight leather type pants, but she was wearing a – he couldn't remember what she called it – sequined top that only barely controlled her breasts. Not that he minded, of course, although he would have preferred to have that visual off set, where he could put a finger at her cleavage and rip it off, letting him admire the magnificence of her pregnancy inflated breasts. He couldn't wait to see her creamy skin with those tight, hard nipples, just for him. He breathed in sharply.

She gave him a side eye. "You just want to take off my _bustier_," she said. _That's what it is._

"Can you wear it home?" He grinned.

"No! I can't even breathe in that thing." She flicked her hand towards the door. "You need to go. Wardrobe will be here any minute."

He walked up to her and stood close, breathing in her scent, light and fresh. "I'll rip something off later," he whispered. Her eyes were dancing and she grinned. With one last smirk, he left her alone.

As he walked down the hallway deep in the bowels of the arena, he thought about how patient she'd been with him. He'd been a jerk ever since he'd returned to Nashville from LA. His fuse was short and he'd cut her off every time she tried to get him to talk about what he was feeling. It wasn't really like her not to call him out, but he knew she was trying to give him the space he needed. So when she had walked into his trailer just two days earlier and let him know she'd gotten the results of her amniocentesis, he'd promised himself he would focus completely on her.

_Her eyes were glassy and her cheeks were pink. She was almost breathless when she walked over to him. "Dr. Hamilton called," she said, her voice light and almost girlish._

_He raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?" She'd had the test so they could be sure everything was okay with the baby – Dr. Hamilton had insisted on it – and she had been fretting about it while they waited for the results. He knew she was on edge. Even though Dr. Hamilton kept telling them everything was good, he could see that Connie was anxious. She still worried because, even though she was finally developing a little bit of a belly, she was worried the baby wasn't growing as it should. The test, she kept saying, would give her peace of mind. And although he tried to stay positive, he was nervous too. Especially if they heard something they didn't want to hear. _

_She smiled. "Everything is perfect," she said, and then she burst into tears. He took her in his arms, rubbing his hand up and down her back as she cried against his shoulder. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her, off both of them really. It broke a lot of the tension surrounding them and would give them both something positive to focus on._

_He buried his face in her hair. "See?" he murmured. "I told you."_

* * *

She was so much more relaxed, now that most of her fears had been quieted, and had told him she'd tell Callie before they left for LA after they wrapped. And then the chips would fall where they may. But he knew she was watching him, that she was worried about him. He hadn't talked to his kids since he'd been in LA. They had no interest in talking to him, per Patty. He planned to go to LA as soon as they wrapped to try to talk to them again, see if anything had changed. The days were creeping by and he felt like he was in a constant state of agitation.

He'd filmed a scene that day with Eric Close at Public Square Park, in front of the city hall. It helped burn off some of the tension to stage the fight Deacon tried to have with Teddy. Afterwards, Eric had asked him if everything was okay. Eric was a good friend, a long time friend, and so they had sat on one of the benches after they'd finally wrapped the scene.

"_What's going on?" Eric asked, concern in his voice. "You seem wound up tight as a drum."_

_He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He squinted as he looked off in the distance. "Just been a lot going on." He turned to look at his friend. "Patty and I separated. Back in February."_

_Eric looked surprised. "I had no idea, Chip. I guess, well, I'm surprised. The two of you seemed so solid."_

"_Appearances can be deceiving," he said._

"_Obviously. So, what now? I mean, I guess it's been a tough thing to navigate, especially with you here and them in LA."_

_He shook his head. "Yeah, it has been tough. The kids took it badly."_

_Eric reached out and patted his shoulder. "I'm really sorry, man. But kids can be pretty resilient. I'm sure things will settle down once the shock of it's over."_

_He sat up, gripping his legs with his hands, looking off again. "I don't know. It's a lot more complicated than just me and their mom splitting up." Eric said nothing, just waited. It felt like such a big deal, telling someone else his private life. Even someone he'd known as long as he had Eric. He looked back at him, squinting at the white light around them. It was overcast and the sky had a silvery cast. "We've just been going through the motions, Patty and I, for a pretty long time. Not really doing anything about it, never even really talking about it. Just going along. And then I came here." He stopped, breathing in deeply. "I came here and, I mean, things just happened. We worked together so much and there was all this chemistry and it just got real."_

_Eric looked surprised. "Connie?" he asked, frowning slightly._

_He nodded. He put his elbows back on his knees and closed his eyes, steepling his hands in front of his mouth. "It was just bigger than both of us. Neither one of us meant for it to happen, but it did."_

_He looked back at his friend and could see Eric's jaw tense. "So what now? Will you and Patty try to work things out?"_

_He shook his head. "Connie's pregnant," he said quietly._

_Eric got up and started to pace. He couldn't even imagine what might be going through his mind. Eric was a good man, principled, moral. And he felt like the complete opposite of that at that moment. Eric sat back down and sighed. "I've got to be honest, I'm disappointed, Chip. I never thought you'd…do something like that. Put your family through that. But then I've also never been unhappy with what I have, so it's hard to imagine." He was silent for a moment. "So what happens next?"_

_He sat up straight and breathed in deeply. He spread his hands out in front of him. "One of us will file for divorce, Connie has the baby, and then" – he shrugged – "she and I raise it. Together."_

"_Wow," Eric said. "This is a lot to process. I mean, I knew the two of you were close, but I just didn't expect this." He paused. "Is this what you want?"_

"_Well, not the part where I hurt my kids. And it's not the way I would have wanted this to unfold. The pregnancy threw us a curveball." He shrugged. "I didn't want to be dishonest about that. And I want to be with her. I just didn't intend for it to happen this way." He put his head down. "I'm sorry I disappointed you. I know this is just the beginning. I know it's gonna get worse before it gets better." He pressed his thumbs against the bridge of his nose. "But there's a baby in the mix now," he whispered. "I can't walk away from that."_

He was sitting in his car, unable to turn the ignition. In the end, Eric had given him a hug and some understanding. But it had made him realize how much harder this going to be going forward. He and Connie were at the point where they weren't going to be able to hide any longer. They would both have to deal with their larger universe – family, friends, coworkers – and there was no roadmap for how to do that. He'd made his choice though. What he'd told Eric was true – he couldn't walk away from a baby. And he couldn't walk away from Connie. _Wouldn't_ walk away from her.

**Connie**

She was a little worried. Chip was late. It wasn't that it never happened – Nashville was known for filming overruns and long days – but she hadn't heard from him either. She knew he had a lot weighing on him. His pending divorce, his relationship with his kids, their baby. It was a lot. He tossed and turned at night, talked in his sleep many nights. Nothing she could understand – it was all unintelligible or gibberish – but she knew it meant he was restless. He was trying to put on a good face for her and so he steered clear of any unpleasant conversation.

She had learned it was his way. He was nothing like his character, who would have disappeared, withdrawn, or, she supposed, gone on a bender. At least in his active alcoholic days. No, Chip was not Deacon Claybourne. She did notice he had a drink most nights, but never to excess. But he seemed to see it as his duty to be upbeat, high energy, always smiling and laughing, full of fun and mischief. He had not always been that way with her. He knew he could be sad with her or angry, but even then he didn't like to dwell in those places. She wondered sometimes where that came from, the need to please or at least to be the one who kept others' spirits up.

She had eaten a salad, fed Yoby and put him to bed, and was curled up on the couch going over her lines for the next day. She and Hayden were filming at a local cemetery for Juliette's mom's burial. They only had another week of filming and she was ready for a break. It had been an exhausting year. Nashville was a complex show to film, with all the musical numbers, but there had also been numerous rewrites of scenes and story arcs which had led to frustration, as well as long days and nights of filming. But it was something special and so she'd put a smile on and powered through. Being pregnant, and trying to avoid having to disclose it too soon, and being a new mom to Yoby, had added to the rollercoaster her life had been.

She put her hand on her stomach. She was still barely showing, but she knew that would not be the case for much longer, and then all their lives would be more complicated. She was already worried that she would look more bosomy in the dress she was wearing in the burial scenes, and she was sure the ladies who dressed her wondered about the Spanx. She lifted the script again and that's when she heard the door open. She dropped the script and jumped up from the couch.

"Chip?" she called out.

He came around the corner, looking tired. He tried to smile, but it was clear he had no energy for it. "Hey," he said. "Sorry I'm late." He leaned in for a kiss, then opened the fridge and got out a beer.

She stood by the island, watching him. "Another long shoot?"

He rooted around in one of the drawers for the bottle opener and flipped the cap off the bottle of beer. He took a long swallow and then shook his head. "Not really. Eric and I talked afterwards." She raised her eyebrows. He sighed. "I told him. About us."

That surprised her. Although they were long-time friends, she also knew Eric was happily married and was very grounded in his faith. That couldn't have been an easy conversation. "And?" she asked.

He shrugged. "He was surprised. He was okay about it, at least outwardly, but it just reminded me that there's a lot of baggage in that." He headed for the den and she trailed behind him.

"So what did he say?"

He sat on the couch and looked back at her, a frown on his face. "Not a lot. Look, I don't really want to talk about it."

She walked around the couch and sat down next to him. She took the beer out of his hand and put it on the coffee table. "I think we _need_ to talk about it. At least _you_ need to talk about it. Not just what Eric said or did, but all of it." She put her hand on his arm but he jerked it away.

"I don't need to talk about it," he said, a scowl on his face.

She scooted closer to him and put her hand back on his arm. "You _do_, Chip," she said firmly. "If you don't, you're going to explode. You can't just put a happy face on it and pretend it isn't eating away at you."

"Sure I can." He leaned forward to get the bottle of beer.

"Don't," she said, her voice sharp. He looked at her with surprise. "Talk to me, Chip. Maybe you can't talk to anyone else, or you think you can't, but you can talk to _me_. Don't shut me out." He looked away and she could tell he was trying to get himself under control. "We're both going to be dealing with this," she said, forcing herself to sound calm. "We don't know what to expect. We need to help each other. I _need_ you, babe. I really do. But you need me too. We need each other." She rubbed his arm. "Let me be there for you." She saw a lone tear trail down his cheek and she reached out to brush it away. He turned towards her then and pulled her into his arms and onto his lap, where he just held her close and she held onto him. They sat that way for a long time before they finally untangled from each other and went upstairs to bed.

**Chip**

He couldn't remember all the details when he woke the next morning, but what he was left with, after a series of disjointed dreams, was a sense of being alone. It gnawed at him, left him feeling unsettled. He turned his head. Connie was laying on her side, facing towards him. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was soft and even. In the grayish light, he thought about his conversation with Eric the day before and then his conversation with her when he got home. He felt an ache in his heart when he thought about her worries about the baby and being able to bring a healthy girl or boy into the world. And yet she was worried about him.

He reached out and ran the back of his hand gently down her arm. She stirred, wrinkling her nose, then slowly opened her eyes. She blinked a couple times, then made a little noise and smiled. He smiled back at her, letting his fingers glance over her cheek. Then he rolled onto his side facing her. "I love you," he murmured and her eyes seemed to twinkle. She slid her hand across the bed and pressed her palm against his chest. He slid a little closer and kissed her, lingering just a bit on her lips. He felt emotional all of a sudden and swallowed over a lump in his throat. "Thank you for being here," he said.

She ran her fingers through his hair, smoothing it to the side. "Thank _you_ for being here," she responded. "I'm glad we have each other." Her eyes seemed to search his face. "What did you say before? That we couldn't have this opportunity just to have it taken away? If all we have is each other we'll be fine. But I really do believe this baby can bring us all together. I'm going to believe in that."

He smiled. "Then I will too." He reached for her, pulling her close, his arm around her. He kissed her and was thankful she was in his life. She was right. They would do this together, whatever road it took them on.

Just then she moaned deep in her throat and he pressed her closer against him, letting his hand slide behind the waistband of the back of her pajama pants, feeling the baby soft skin of her bottom. He let the kiss deepen as she let him know she was ready for him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Connie**

It was his last day in Nashville before he went back to LA. Once he got there, he would start to deal with all of the ending of a marriage details – filing for divorce, moving his things from the house, and hopefully getting to talk again with his kids. He had moved out of his apartment the previous weekend and into her house, although he was at the house most nights anyway. She had a few more loose ends to tie up before she returned to LA, including talking to Callie. She wished she was going with him, even if it was just to hold his hand or hug him when things got emotional.

When she opened her eyes it was light outside. She was on her side and Chip was behind her, his hand protectively covering her belly. She felt him stir behind her and she snuggled into him, smiling as she felt him hard against her back. He kissed the back of her shoulder, letting her know he was awake.

"Let me in, baby," he whispered, his voice husky with sleep. She lifted her leg and hooked it behind his, waiting for him to enter her. Usually he would slide his fingers inside her first, but instead, he took himself in his hand and guided his way inside her, pushing in relentlessly as she moved her hips, adjusting to him. He let his hand drift up to her breast, tweaking her nipple. She felt a zinger race down to her core and she moaned at his touch. As he pulled and tugged and pinched her nipple, he moved in and out of her in long, quick strokes. She felt breathless and a little out of her head with the sensations. The hardness and thickness of him turned up the heat inside her and she could hear herself making little mewling noises. The pressure of his thumb and index finger on her nipple was sending zingers over and over, ramping up her excitement. He pinched and tugged harder and she felt like she'd risen out of her body. The pain, combined with the intense heat between her legs, was driving her wild. She could feel her orgasm coming and then it was crashing over her as she cried out with her exquisite pleasure. She reached between her legs to touch him and then he came explosively inside her, squeezing her nipple tightly, again mixing the pain and the pleasure in a way that rocked her yet again.

When he finally eased the pressure of his fingers, and their breathing finally slowed, he let his hand drift down again to cover her belly. She shivered with the intensity of her climax and sighed with contentment. He leaned in again and kissed her shoulder, the back of her neck and then behind her ear. "Your bump's not so little anymore," he whispered.

Her eyes flew open. "What?"

He chuckled softly. She could feel it in her nerve endings, as he was still deep inside her. "It's like you popped out overnight," he said, and he ran his hand over her belly.

She pushed the covers away and pulled away from him, getting up from the bed and running into the bathroom. She flipped on the light and then turned sideways to the mirror. She gasped. "Holy shit!" she cried out. He was right. She ran her hand over her stomach, shocked at how she suddenly looked pregnant. And not just a little bit. He walked into the bathroom and up behind her. He put his hand over hers and looked at her in the mirror. He smiled.

"It's beautiful, baby. _You're_ beautiful," he murmured and kissed her neck. "You look incredibly sexy, Connie."

She shook her head. "It's like the baby just had a growth spurt while we were sleeping." She couldn't take her eyes off her silhouette. A smile played around her lips. She'd been waiting for this, to _look_ pregnant, to be able to truly celebrate the miracle of it.

He pulled her back against him, both hands resting on her belly. "At least he or she waited until after the season was over."

She nodded and laughed. "That's true." She looked up at his face in the mirror. "I wonder what Callie will say." She relaxed into him and felt his arms tighten around her. "No matter what, though, I'm happy." She smiled. "So happy." He leaned in and kissed her temple and she shivered just a bit, enjoying this moment with him.

**Chip**

She was laying on her side, facing him. "Are you sure you don't want my key?" she asked. She had told him he was welcome to stay at her house when he got back to LA. She would just be a few days behind him.

He shook his head. "A hotel is fine." He sighed. "The first day I'm back they won't be there. So I can get all my things."

She knew, because he'd told her, that Patty had let him know she'd packed anything he'd left behind, but he wanted to check to be sure nothing was missed. "You don't want to go ahead and get settled in?" she asked. He would be moving into her house with her, down near Inglewood, during their hiatus. He was unsure. "I'm going to give you a key anyway. If you want to go ahead and move in, you'll have it." She scooted closer to him and kissed him. "I'm going to miss you. I know it's just a few days, but" – she gave him a coy smile – "I've gotten used to you being around."

He smiled and reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers. "Same," he said. Then he shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

"It's already clean. The housekeepers went in and opened everything up and got it aired out." She sighed. "It would be nice if you were there when Yoby and I get there." It was tempting. But it was a long drive from Sherman Oaks, in case the kids were open to seeing him. He almost wished they were just staying in Nashville, but he really did want to try to start repairing the relationship.

He kissed her, then pulled her into his arms, so that she was curled up against him. "We'll see."

* * *

He stared out of the window as the plane sped down the runway. He missed her already. He'd taken the key, but still wasn't sure what he'd do. He would certainly be there when she and Yoby came back, but it sort of felt like he wanted to wrap himself up in his despair and, to do that, he needed to be alone. When he had talked to Patty she hadn't held out much hope that the kids would want to see him yet.

"_It's a hard pill for them to swallow, Chip," she said bitterly. "Not only are you not the man they thought you were, but they also know you did this to me as well."_

_He fumed. "So you're just feeding them that story? Encouraging them?" Not that he'd expected she would do otherwise, but to be confronted with the possibility hurt, more than he probably had the right to feel._

"_I don't have to encourage them," she said angrily. "You gave them all the ammunition they needed. It's all they can think about. All those sordid details about you and the woman who took you away from them."_

"_She didn't do that, Patty," he spat out. "I get that it's on me. But I still want to see them, talk to them, try to heal this. They're still my kids too."_

_She was silent for a long moment. "I'm not going to prevent you from seeing them, but I just think you need to be prepared that it will be a long battle. You're not going to win them over with your charm and your jokes, like you do everyone else."_

It stung. Even though he knew this was all very serious business, it hurt to know he'd put this wall between them. He loved them, was proud of them, was proud to be their dad. He still wanted to believe, though, that he could win them back. As the plane lifted off, he sat back and closed his eyes.

* * *

When he got to the house, Patty and the kids were not there, as she'd promised. She had packed up his things, leaving the boxes in a corner of their bedroom. His clothes and many of his personal items were already back in Nashville. Much of that had, ironically, been shipped back to LA, but to Connie's house. As he walked through the house, it had felt like he was in someone else's home. In many ways, that's what it was. He didn't live here anymore, and it looked as though he never had. He noticed that pictures that had included the whole family – or more specifically, had included him – were gone. There weren't even pictures that included him in the kids' rooms. It looked like he'd been erased.

He loaded all the boxes into his rental car, then went back inside. He walked through one more time, checking closets and drawers for anything that might have been missed. He stood in the middle of the kids' rooms and felt an overwhelming sorrow for how things had gone down. Things would start to crack open, the truth would soon be out. He needed to talk to his mom, to his sister. He believed his sister might be more understanding, but he knew his mom would be deeply disappointed in him.

He walked into the kitchen and sat down at the kitchen table. He felt like he was being squeezed. He knew he wouldn't be on the right side of this and he couldn't help but feel conflicted. He loved Connie, and being with her was right, but it had come at a high cost, and he couldn't help but wonder if it had all been worth it in the end. But it was done and he also knew he wouldn't change that. He reached for his phone and called her, needing to hear her voice.

"Hey," he said when she answered. "I just needed to hear your voice."

* * *

In the end, he decided to stay at her house after all. She and Yoby would be back in LA before the week was out and he wanted to be there, waiting for them. He knew he wouldn't give up on his kids, but he also knew he needed to be with Connie. He had left the key to the Sherman Oaks house on the kitchen table and, locking the door from the inside, had closed it tight, ending that particular chapter of his life and looking forward to starting the next.

**Connie**

Chip had gone to LA two days earlier. She was glad, when he called her, that he was staying at her house. She could also sense his concern about his kids. He was supposed to see them that day, the same day she'd be breaking the news to Callie about her pregnancy, so it added to her anxiety. She had scheduled a meeting with Callie to talk with her about her situation and to see what that meant, should the show be renewed. She had already shipped her personal items back to LA. All that was left was this last meeting and then she and Yoby could follow Chip.

She drove to Callie's Nashville house the day before she was to leave. The house was set back off the road, for which she was grateful. She was nervous about talking to Callie. She didn't want this to prevent the show's renewal. Although there were a handful of plot points she wasn't happy about – most especially Maddie's secret parentage – she had enjoyed stretching herself. The accident that the last episode would end on didn't bode well for Rayna, but she would wait to see what the outcome would be. She loved the strong woman Rayna was and she was even feeling a little better about the singing, although she still refused to do the special cast events.

This was a big deal though and a lot to navigate. She was pregnant, due to deliver in mid-August, after filming would start. She was pregnant with her costar's baby, which had contributed to the breakup of his marriage. The two of them still needed to work out all the logistics of having a child together. And the not insignificant matter of the risks of having a baby at all at her age. She headed up the walkway to the front door. When she got to the door, she rang the doorbell and waited.

Callie was smiling when she opened the door. "Hey, Connie," she said. Now that she finally looked pregnant, she had decided to stop hiding it. She had on jeans and a loosely fitted top, not so loose though that it wasn't obvious she was pregnant. So she wasn't surprised at Callie's reaction. "Well, I see this isn't just a 'let's chat about what we think will happen next' type of visit." She stepped back and Connie walked in, clasping her hands in front of her. Callie gestured towards the back of the house. "I've got tea back here, if that sounds good," she said.

"Perfect." She smiled. She followed Callie back to her sunroom, where she had tea set out. She gestured and Connie sat on a beautiful rose print love seat. Callie sat next to her and poured tea, setting it in front of her. She didn't reach for the cup, just sat with her hands clasped in her lap. She took a deep breath. "So clearly I have some news to share." Callie didn't say anything, so she kept going. "I have very unexpectedly found myself pregnant. At 45." She smiled apologetically. "Well, 46 now."

Callie nodded and smiled back, a warm smile. "So I see. Well, I'm sure you're thrilled."

She laughed a little. "Well, yeah, I am. You know, I thought I'd never get to be a mom. And then Yoby came into my life and I'm so happy to be _his_ mom. I hadn't been seeing anyone recently and that was fine, because being a mom is a really big job." She laughed again, a little nervously. "I can't say I thought much about having a baby of my own, at least after Yoby. I thought I was too old."

"But you weren't, obviously."

She shook her head. "No, I was not." She took a deep breath. "I know this is unbelievably poor timing. I'm due mid-August and, if we're renewed, I know that screws with your filming schedule."

Callie breathed in. "We can talk about that later. I'm interested in _you_." She paused. "How far along are you?"

"Twenty-two weeks." She laughed nervously. "Over halfway there."

"I'm surprised no one noticed. You did a really good job of hiding it."

She shrugged. "I didn't show for the longest time. And I was actually kind of worried about that. But my doctor said every pregnancy is different and I guess that's true." She smirked. "I wore Spanx a lot too. But really just this week it's like I had a big growth spurt. I finally _look_ pregnant."

"How are you feeling? And I'm assuming everything's okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good, the baby's good. I was lucky not to have morning sickness. I was really tired early on, but that's mostly gone away too." She smiled a little apologetically. "I'm looking forward to enjoying this." She looked at Callie intently. "But I really want to know – can you manage this? Am I going to screw things up for you?"

Callie waved her hand. "We'll figure it out. Dee and I sort of have a storyboard drawn out and we'll either delay filming your scenes or we'll work around this if we need to." That surprised her. She'd fully expected Callie to be angry or pissed at the inconvenience. It made her wonder if Callie knew something, like they were not going to be renewed. Callie looked at her curiously then. "Did you meet someone here then?"

She nodded. This was the part that she thought might be unpredictable. "I did." She paused. "At work." She looked intently at Callie.

Callie's eyes widened just a bit. "Really?"

Unexpectedly, she felt tears, and the next thing she knew she was crying. Callie patted her arm and squeezed her hand, until she regained some of her composure. She tried to smile. "I'm sorry." She laughed. "I'm just so hormonal these days." She laughed again, then took a deep breath. "It's Chip." Callie just raised her eyebrows. "Everything about it was so unexpected. And I know it's complicated. For work too."

Callie frowned a little. "Are things…awkward between you two?"

She shook her head. "No, actually we're good." She swallowed. She'd told Chip she wanted to have this conversation with Callie, _needed_ to, actually. He'd told her to go ahead and let her know he and Patty had separated. "Chip is separated."

Callie nodded. "Ah, okay." She thought a second. "So I guess that means he'll need to be in LA until the baby comes."

"No. We'll come back to Nashville together the beginning of July and I'll have the baby here."

"Are you planning to keep this on the down low?"

She shook her head. "We'll let it unfold organically." She put her hand on her belly. "I mean, it's going to be obvious and I don't plan to hide away. Plus we'll be seen together. He essentially moved into my house here and he'll be with me in LA. We'll answer basic questions but no statement or anything like that. His kids know, which was the main thing we wanted to be careful about." She sat up straight and breathed in. "I know this isn't what you probably wanted to hear. Especially since we're not renewed."

Callie gave her a tired smile. "Well, it's not optimal, that's for sure." She took a sip of her tea. "I don't want to make Rayna pregnant, but it sounds like we're going to have to work around that for a while."

"Do you think this would prevent renewal?"

Callie shrugged. "I'm not going to say anything about it. That's for us to figure out _after_ renewal. What's standing in the way, really, is the money. I don't think the state wants to put up as much money and since we don't really have the same infrastructure here for filming, it's challenging. We're an expensive show, as you know, and the network doesn't want to make a bigger investment." She rolled her eyes. "We've actually been told to combine our last two episodes."

"Really?" She was surprised it had really happened. So many major stories were either coming to a conclusion or were setting up for huge cliffhangers. Rayna and Deacon's storyline essentially blew up in those last two episodes and she wasn't sure squeezing them down to one would help.

Callie nodded. "We really can't skip much from your storyline. That's our hook for people tuning in in the fall, to see if Deacon and Rayna make it. But we don't want to shortchange other stories. We'll just have to make some hard decisions." She reached over and patted her hand. "All you need to worry about is having a healthy baby. Everything else will take care of itself."

She took a sip of tea and thought about that. "I'd really like to think so, but it's such a complicated thing. It's not so difficult to picture two costars getting together. Happens all the time. Or a lead getting pregnant, although in my case, you would never have thought that would happen." They both laughed agreeably. "But Chip is married. _Was_ married. He has a family. That's not so simple and some of our coworkers might have a problem with it. It's even more likely that some fans will not like that and could even stop watching. I just feel bad that it could create bad publicity for the show. Or cause us to not get renewed."

Callie smiled. "Oh, Connie, I don't think you getting pregnant would stop people from watching the show. Or even that you and Chip are involved. There are so many ways to explain that kind of thing. But more than anything else, his family's not here, so there's not a focus on them here. I don't know if fans have really given it a thought. There aren't pictures of his family on social media, he hasn't been on the red carpet or at an event with his wife. For all they know, they could have been separated before he came here."

She thought about that. Maybe it was true. But who really knew? She knew she couldn't hide the fact she was pregnant, but maybe there was some value in staying lowkey about her relationship with Chip, at least until they were back filming. She wasn't one to lie about things, but she also was incredibly private and that had served her well over the years. Her personal life wasn't an open book and she wasn't someone who found herself in the gossip columns. "Well, I will try not to cause too much gossip, just because all of this is no one's business really except mine and Chip's. I feel like this is my fault and I don't want it to negatively impact everyone." She couldn't help but feel like all the complexities of the situation took away from what should have been a joyful time. It was a lot to deal with and sometimes she wished it had all never happened. But then she wouldn't have this wonderful experience and she felt guilty for having those thoughts.

Callie shook her head. "No, no, no, don't ever think that. Never apologize for a baby. People will come around, things will work out, life will go on and you'll have this beautiful child to love and cherish." She smiled. "Do you know yet if it's a boy or a girl?"

"No. We decided not to find out ahead of time. We want to be surprised."

Callie reached over and held her wrist. "Let me worry about renewals and storylines and all that. You go home and have a lovely summer. Don't spend it thinking about this."

She smiled. "Thank you, Callie. I probably will anyway, but I appreciate you so much." it made her want to cry, but it also made her feel better about things and hopeful that at least this part of their lives would be okay.

**Chip**

He was waiting for Connie and Yoby in baggage claim at LAX. It had been a rough few days, between moving his things out of the Sherman Oaks house and into Connie's and trying to start the rebuilding phase with the kids. He took them to dinner, but they were sullen and not very talkative. Whenever they did say something it always came out angrily and led to several instances of heated words. He could see that it was going to take more time than he'd hoped, but he wasn't going to give up.

_He pulled into the drive and sat with the car running as the kids got out. He watched Addie race up the front walk and then through the front door, Chase trailing behind her. He was a little surprised when the passenger door opened and Taylor slid into the seat. She looked at him, her eyes sad and mournful. He waited._

"_I don't know how long it's going to take us," she said finally. "It's just hard, when you think that everything that happened was because you didn't want to be with us anymore."_

_He shook his head. "That's not why, Tay. Not even close." He hesitated. "I don't want to say too much, because I know it's hurtful to you and your brother and sister. I don't want to be hurtful towards your mom, so I guess it's just easier to take all the blame."_

"_You cheated on her, Dad. That's just really hard to wrap my mind around. I never thought of you as someone who would do that." She still looked more hurt than angry, although there was a hint of anger in her voice._

_He breathed in deeply. "I didn't either. It's just…complicated. But it doesn't have anything to do with you kids. I want you to understand that."_

"_But it __does__, Dad. Maybe you didn't leave because of us, but you're leaving us all the same." She sighed and put her hand on the door handle. "I just don't know where we fit in."_

_He felt a lump in his throat. "I love all of you. I want to be part of your lives. I know it won't be easy, but I want us to figure this out." He swallowed. "You're going to have a sister or brother. I want you to be part of that baby's life."_

_She didn't say anything for a moment. Then she looked at him. "Who is it, Dad? Where did you meet her? What were you even doing?"_

_He took a deep breath. "I met her at work." He saw her stiffen. "It's Connie Britton." Taylor said nothing, but sucked in her breath. After a moment she opened the car door and got out, slamming it behind her. All he could do was watch as she walked up to the front door and then disappeared into the house._

He wanted to give them all a little space. He had no doubt Taylor would have told Chase and Addie it was Connie. He had no clue whether that made it easier or harder, but he didn't want to delude himself into thinking that they'd be any more understanding. He was glad Connie and Yoby were coming home. They would help distract him from the gnawing anguish in his stomach. He knew he could find solace with Connie, while he worked on things with his kids. He'd have time and proximity and hoped they could make some headway during the hiatus.

**Connie**

As the plane touched down on the runway, she breathed out, happy to be back on solid ground. She traveled a lot, and was not afraid to fly, but she still always breathed a sigh of relief to be on the ground. She looked over at Yoby but he was looking through one of his picture books. She was always glad he was good on planes. He never got fussy, even on long flights, and he seemed to enjoy the travel. "Yoby, sweetie, we need to put all your things away," she said. "We'll be at the gate soon."

He smiled, his brilliant, beautiful smile. "Okay," he said, and then he started putting things in her lap.

She laughed. "I meant for _you_ to do this." She pointed towards the space underneath the seat. "You have a bag there."

"Okay," he said with a sigh, as though he were carrying the weight of the world on his tiny shoulders. She couldn't help but smile. She handed him each thing he'd put in her lap and watched as he dropped them into the tote bag.

She was excited to be back in LA. Not only was she glad to be home, but she was looking forward to seeing Chip. He'd sounded down the night before, telling her dinner with his kids had not gone particularly well, but not giving her specifics. She hoped with them being in LA for a while, it would give him a chance to begin rebuilding those bonds. Mostly, though, she was just glad they'd be together. Even though it had just been a few days since she'd seen him, she'd missed him.

She smiled down at Yoby as he finished shoving a book into the tote bag. "Thanks, little man," she said and he looked up at her and beamed. In just a few minutes they'd be at the gate. She felt butterflies in her stomach for no reason she could think of, except maybe because she and Chip were at a point where their relationship would be known. She hadn't realized how nice it was to be wrapped up in the cocoon of him. It had occurred to her, prior to leaving Nashville, that there could be – probably _would_ be – paparazzi at the airport. Not for her in particular, but because there always seemed to be a contingent of them at LAX, waiting on whichever celebrity was flying in or flying out. She and Yoby had been photographed at the airport before and, while she didn't let it bother her, she now felt like she had more to protect.

She let her hand glide over her stomach. At the last minute, she'd gotten uncharacteristically anxious about being seen. She had put on clothes that accentuated her pregnancy, not thinking too much about it. But then she thought about being photographed at the airport that way and had pulled a loose, flowing white caftan from one of her suitcases and changed into it. She normally only wore it around the house or, once or twice, to some event she attended where it seemed appropriate. But when she looked in the mirror, after changing, she felt better. Unless she smoothed her hand over her stomach, it was not obvious she was pregnant. She had breathed a sigh of relief that she could reveal that on her own terms.

As the plane arrived at the gatehouse, she pulled her sunglasses from her purse and slipped them on. She got up from her seat, picking up the tote bag and strategically putting it over her shoulder in a way that allowed her to hold it in front of her. She reached for Yoby's hand and they walked off the plane.

* * *

As she and Yoby came down the escalator to baggage claim, she saw Chip waiting and smiled. He was wearing a ball cap and sunglasses, clearly not wanting to be obvious. He smiled back at her. She was more anxious than ever to be swept up in his arms. "Look, Yobes," she said to her son as they reached the bottom of the escalator. "Who is it?"

"Chip!" he cried, pulling free of her hand and racing over to Chip. He swung Yoby up in his arms and then balanced him on his hip. He slid his other arm around her waist and pulled her close, kissing her. She couldn't help but smile happily.

"Looks like we had the same idea," he said. "With the sunglasses."

She smiled again. "Let's just get my luggage and get out of here, okay?"

"You got it, baby," he said and they headed towards the baggage claim carousel.

**Chip**

She was waiting for him when he crawled into bed beside her. She put her arm around his waist and pulled closer to him. He put his hand on the back of her neck, then let it slide down to the small of her back. She smiled. "I'm glad you're here," she said. She reached up and pushed his hair back off his forehead. "I'm glad to be home."

He kissed her. "I'm glad too." He sighed. "I know it's just been a couple days, but I missed you. I _needed_ you." Coming back to this house after seeing his kids had only emphasized the hole in his heart.

"I know it's been tough for you. But you do know you have to give it time."

He rubbed his hand over his face. "I know. But I'm not very patient. And it's so painful. For them especially."

"I believe they'll come around, Chip. Not today or tomorrow or next week, but they will. It's a lot for them. I get it. And I don't want you to push too hard." She put her hand on his cheek. "You need to give yourself a break too. They love you. I know you know that. Just give them time."

He breathed in and nodded. He knew she was probably right, that it wouldn't be this way forever. But he didn't want it to take long. His biggest fear was that it could take months and years for them to heal and that he'd lose that time with them. But he didn't want to worry her with all his concerns. He rubbed his nose against her neck, then kissed her shoulder. "I was surprised at what you were wearing today. I thought you were ready for people to know."

She frowned. "Does it bother you? I just wasn't sure I wanted it to happen in a way I couldn't control. You know that paparazzi are everywhere there and I didn't want some random, fuzzy picture in all the magazines and tabloids. Besides, I thought it could be hurtful to your kids for it to happen that way." Her eyes searched his.

He sighed. He felt a tear escape one eye, trailing down his face. "I'm sorry, baby. This is such a mess." He kissed her forehead. "I didn't want you to have to change your life for me."

"Of course I'm changing my life. We both are. We're still working through everything couples do as they merge their lives together. Plus we have a baby in the mix. Our lives will change so much more then and we'll have to figure out who we are as parents together." He moved his hand and settled it on her belly. She smiled sweetly at him. "I want to do what I can to help you and not make things difficult."

He felt overwhelmed by her words, about how she'd make sacrifices for him. His heart felt like it was going to burst with love for her. He kissed her then, tugging at her lip until she opened her mouth to his and he could taste her, feel her tongue battle his, hear the little noises she made that told him she wanted him. She snuggled closer to him and he was conscious of her belly pressing against his stomach and then her leg sliding slowly up and down his. She continued the little murmurs as she continue to kiss him hungrily. He slid his hand between her legs, feeling how wet she was. "Oh, baby," he whispered in her mouth. He put two fingers against her and then, after a moment, pressed them inside her. He loved the feel of her around him and he kept his fingers moving in and out.

She was pressing against him, letting him know with her body that she wanted more. But he didn't want to hurt her, so he slowly, reluctantly slid his fingers out of her and then turned her over so her back was to him. Without words, they fit themselves to each other, moving and shifting until he plunged inside her, sucking in his breath at the warmth of her. He moved his hand over her breasts, from one to the other, tweaking her nipples, then rolling them. He could tell from the way she moved that she was close to the edge and, truthfully, he was close as well. She was moaning, begging him with little murmurs of _please_. He squeezed one nipple hard and she cried out. He felt her tighten around him and she kept moaning as her orgasm grew. He let go then, coming hard inside her, shouting out her name. When he'd finally emptied himself fully into her, he relaxed with a deep sigh, holding her close, kissing the back of her neck. She snuggled into him and sighed with contentment.

As he held her, all he could think about was how much he loved her and how he didn't deserve her. All he wanted was to make her happy, take care of her and their baby and Yoby. He had a family, but he was creating a new one as well. He hoped this new family would help bridge the gap with his old family in order to create one single family. He heard her soft snore and smiled to himself. Then he closed his eyes, knowing he was finally home, and drifted into a deep sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Connie**

She walked out onto the patio with a glass of iced tea and a book. Chip was sitting on the patio with Yoby, building something with blocks. She smiled. Yoby had taken to him so quickly and he was wonderful with her son. It was how she knew he was a good dad and it hurt her to know he was struggling so much with his kids. He took them to dinner each week and made sure to attend soccer matches and track meets and choral concerts. They were finally talking to him in more than one or two word sentences, especially Taylor, and she tried to keep him encouraged.

"_You knew it would take some time, but you're there. You're present for them, for everything they do. They know that hasn't changed." She ran her hand up and down his back. "You're still Dad. The dad who loves them and cheers them on. You'll always be Dad." He had come home a little more discouraged than usual and she hated seeing him like that._

_He sighed, but didn't say anything at first. Then he put his arm around her and pulled her in for a kiss. "How did you get so smart?" he whispered against her lips._

_She laughed softly. "I'm not so smart about that. I've just watched you with Yoby and I know that when you're with him, doing things with him, you're all in. You listen to him and you ask him questions and you cheer him on. So if you can be that way with my kid, I know you are even more so with your own." She rubbed her hand on his chest. "They aren't going to be able to stay aloof forever," she said, with a cheeky grin. He gave her a grateful smile. She kissed him on the cheek. "You know, it's really a turn on when I see you doing dad things with Yoby."_

_He raised his eyebrows. "Really?" She nodded. He leaned into her ear. "Could I entice you with the fact that I did dad things today with Yoby?"_

_She laughed. "You don't even have to do dad things to entice me, you know. These days you can pretty much just look at me and I'm yours."_

_He pressed his lips against hers. "Let's go upstairs then." He took her hand, pulled her up from the couch and they hurried upstairs._

She smiled to herself as she remembered the vigorous and hot lovemaking session that followed that. It was true that these days she was just always horny. Everything she'd read and heard said that was often the case during the second trimester. She had noticed she had a lot more energy too, which sometimes meant she couldn't get to sleep. It was nights like those where Chip was more than happy to do things to her that drove her wild with desire, leaving her panting and spent. She had told him once she thought her craving was him, specifically him making love to her, and that it had been from the beginning. She suddenly felt hot and she knew it wasn't from the sun. _Maybe when Yoby goes down for a nap…._

Chip looked up just then and smiled at her. "Hey, baby," he said, getting up from where he was sitting. He walked over and gave her a deep kiss. "You taste good," he murmured. He pulled her close and kissed her again, leaving her breathless.

"I like that," she said, with a smile.

He leaned into her ear. "You look pretty damn sexy today."

She laughed. "You're so sweet," she said.

"It's true," he said.

She wrinkled her nose at him and shook her head. "There's no way I'm sexy or anything remotely close when I'm as big as a hippo."

He laughed, then put his hands on her stomach. "Baby, you are not as big as a hippo. You're perfect." He leaned in and kissed her. "And you look sexy to me."

She made a face and shook her head, then stepped out of his embrace and walked over to the patio table. She put down her drink and her book, then sat in one of the chairs, pulling another chair closer to put her feet in. He sat down in the chair on the other side of her, stretching out a bit. She looked over at him. "Do you still have plans with your kids tonight?" she asked.

He took a beat and then nodded. "Yeah."

"What's the plan?"

He shrugged. "Dinner. Then maybe a movie." He sighed and looked over at her, linking his fingers together on his chest. "I wish I could bring 'em here instead of doing dinner and some activity. That's just not enough time."

She reached out and patted his arm. Even though he'd told her they weren't icing him out as much, she knew just having evenings with them wasn't satisfactory, at least for him. She knew he wanted to make this adjustment time much shorter but she also was sure he wasn't being realistic about that. She also knew he was trying to make the most of the time they had in California. They would be heading back to Nashville at the end of June and he was feeling anxious about the timing. "Babe, I think you just have to be patient. I know that's not your best quality" – she smiled – "but if you try to force it, I think it might be worse." She shrugged a little. "They don't want to see me" – she raised a finger when he started to protest – "and I get it. You know, I keep telling you that I think when the baby comes it might help. Can't hate a baby, right?"

He gave her a weary smile. "So you keep saying." He sighed. "I just wish it didn't have to be like this."

She sometimes wondered what he really meant when he said that. Did he wish he'd never gotten involved with her? If that hadn't happened, she would surely not be pregnant. Or did he just wish she hadn't gotten pregnant? And would he resent the baby? This had all certainly turned both their worlds upside down. "What would you do differently?" she asked.

He looked at her, then reached for her hand. He rubbed his thumb against her skin, looking thoughtful. He shook his head. "Nothing." He squeezed her hand. "I know you keep wanting me to say this was all a mistake. Or maybe you're just _afraid_ I'll say that."

She shook her head. "No, Chip," she said softly.

"I think you do," he said, matter-of-factly. "Not because you want that, but because you don't want me to take the blame. You want to be the bad guy. Or girl." He gave her a quick smile." He squeezed her hand again. "I love you, Connie. I wanted to be with you from the beginning, and I think deep down inside, from the start, I _knew_ you were the love of my life. And I was right. You are. And we're having a baby together and I could not be more excited about that. This" – he made a circle with the index finger of his other hand – "is what happiness feels like. I just want my kids to be okay with it all, because I want us _all_ to be a family."

She breathed in deeply. It wasn't really so much that she didn't believe him when he told her he wanted to be with her – because she did – but she also knew this rift with his kids was weighing on him. And she wanted him to have that close relationship again too. "I do too," she said.

He sat up then and pulled his chair closer to her. "I think we should go away for a weekend, just you and me. You've got friends here who can keep Yoby and we can do this. Go somewhere romantic, maybe on the beach, and just spend a few days relaxing with each other." He smiled. "Forget all of this stuff and just concentrate on you and me. How does that sound?"

"I think it sounds wonderful. When were you thinking?" She actually did like the idea of the two of them going away somewhere by themselves. The baby was due in fifteen weeks and, although that seemed like a long time, she knew it would go by fast.

"Maybe the weekend before Memorial Day," he said. That was just two weeks away. "Maybe it won't be as busy." He leaned over and kissed her. "I'll take care of everything."

**Chip**

It was the perfect place. They were across the street from the beach and they had their own balcony – with a hammock! – and a comfortable king size bed with soft sheets. She was wrapped up in those sheets, laying on her side facing him. She looked completely satisfied and content, and he felt the same. He had taken his time with her, drawing out the sensations, holding back at various times in order to enhance the pleasure, for both of them. He had taken the time to touch her the way she liked, hitting the right spots that gave her pleasure, wanting it to be all about her and letting her know how much he loved her.

He did know that women could be sensitive about their bodies during pregnancy and he wanted to be sure she knew how much he appreciated hers, just the way it was. To him, there was something inherently sexy in seeing her carry his child, someone they had made together, and he wanted her to know that was beautiful to him. He reached out and stroked the side of her face, then leaned over and kissed her gently. "That was amazing," he said. "_You_ were amazing." He could see her blush. It was true though. They were perfectly matched, it felt like.

"That _was_ perfect," she said. "And I like having you all to myself, no toddler to spoil the moment or phones to ring, no interruptions. Just you and me. This was a wonderful idea."

He smiled. "I was thinking we could take a walk along the beach at sunset. It'll be less crowded."

"I love that idea," she said, with a smile on her face. "Walking on the beach is just so, I don't know, calming. I feel so recentered after I do that."

"And then maybe a light supper on our balcony?"

Her eyes twinkled merrily. "I had no idea you were such a romantic, Chip Esten," she said, with a laugh.

He pretended to be wounded. "I thought I was always romantic," he said.

She snuggled up closer to him. "Well, you always say nice things, but this is sort of next level, you know?" She scratched lightly at his cheek. "I like it. I wouldn't mind more of it." She put her foot on his calf and dragged it up, pulling her knee up at the same time. Her eyes got that dreamy look they did when she was feeling turned on. "And maybe more of… some other things."

He let his fingers slide up her inner thigh, not taking his eyes off hers. He slid two fingers slowly inside her, holding her gaze. She breathed in sharply and bit down on her bottom lip. She felt like warm, wet velvet and he let his fingers gently swirl once they were fully inside her. She tipped her pelvis slightly towards him, as much as she could. The pace of her breathing quickened as he started sliding his fingers in and out. "Baby, you're so beautiful," he murmured. She had a soft smile on her face. "Roll over," he said.

She rolled onto her side, her back to him. He pulled her leg up and over his hip and they shifted so he could enter her. He moaned as she took him in. She was warm and wet and tight and he moved in and out with quick powerful strokes. He wrapped his arm around her and pressed his face against her neck. She was making little noises, moving her hips in rhythm with him, then she was panting out his name. She cried out and he felt her pulsing around him. He followed behind her with quick, rapid thrusts until he felt himself come hard. He held her tight until his own spasms were over. Then he loosened his embrace and felt his body relax against hers. She was still panting, but he could tell she was coming down from her high. He put his hand on her belly. "What do you think this one is thinking about all this?" he murmured in her ear.

She laughed softly. "Well, maybe that he or she is lucky to have parents who love each other and enjoy being intimate together. No matter how much he or she will be embarrassed by that when they're older."

He kissed her behind her ear. "Lucky kid," he said. Then he settled in around her, just holding her close, and within minutes, they had both fallen asleep.

* * *

He held her hand as they crossed the road over to the beach. The sun was farther down on the horizon than he had originally thought it would be, but it was a lazy weekend and who cared if they took a long nap. They walked down along the edge of the beach, where the waves would lap their feet. The sky was ablaze with many different colors, a spectacular sunset. It was warm but not hot and there was a breeze that would lift her hair up off her shoulders and sometimes into her face. She would laugh then, pulling it back. When he looked at her face, she looked happy and relaxed. The worries she'd had about the pregnancy and the baby had mostly subsided. Everything was going well and all the tests showed the baby was healthy. All that was really left was to wait.

She turned to look at him. "I know we're not planning to buy baby furniture here just yet, but I've been looking at some online. When we get back home, will you look at it with me and help me choose?"

"You probably know more what you want than I would," he said. "Pick whatever you like. I know it'll be fine."

She bit down on her bottom lip. "Can you at least look at it?"

He realized it meant something to her or she wouldn't insist. "Yeah, I can do that," he said. "But I still want you to pick out what you like." They walked a little further. "I know we don't know if it's a boy or girl, but have you thought about names?"

She smiled. "Yeah, I have. Of course, I'll probably change my mind twenty times before the baby comes. And it could end up being something completely different." She laughed. "I was thinking about maybe Riley or Benjamin for a boy. What do you think?"

He nodded. "Those are solid names. I had thought about Jackson or maybe just Jack." He smiled. "And maybe Madison for a girl?"

She smiled. "Our own Maddie?" He laughed. "I'm not sure about that one. I like Amelia and Emma for girls. Something pretty." She ran her tongue over her lower lip. "I was thinking about last names, yours and mine. Yoby's is already Britton. This baby could have your last name."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

She nodded. "Or maybe we could hyphenate. I know we don't have to decide now, but that's what I was thinking."

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, feeling a little overwhelmed – in a _good_ way – about her suggestion. He pointed ahead. "You wanna sit and watch?" She nodded, and they found a place to put down the towel they'd brought. He helped her to lower herself to the sand and then he followed. He put his arm around her and they sat quietly, watching the sun slip lower and lower into the ocean. When it had finally vanished, leaving a dusky light still in the sky, he helped her up and they walked back to their hotel.

**Connie**

She woke up when the bed dipped. He was laying on his side, looking at her, and she smiled. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey." He reached out and pushed her hair off her face. Then he reached for her and pulled her in close to him. She sighed happily, putting her arm over his waist. "You have a good nap?"

She nodded. "Mm hm." He kissed her forehead. "I'm just so tired, you know?" They had gone back to the beach the second day they were there and walked a long ways. She had barely been able to move her legs when they got back and she'd pleaded for a nap before dinner.

He put his hand on her belly. "You're growing a baby, sweetheart. That's gotta be tiring."

She looked up at him and smiled. "_Our_ baby." Every time she caught sight of herself in a mirror, she felt a thrill run through her. That she was pregnant at all had felt like such a miracle. That it was with this man had felt perfect and right, in spite of the fall out. This baby was a gift, something good that had come out of that.

He rubbed her belly gently. He'd been fascinated by all the changes in her body. It wasn't as though he'd never gone through it before, but he seemed so moved by all of it. Maybe it was because they were older. Maybe because it had been so unexpected. He breathed in deeply. "You're so beautiful, baby," he said.

She laughed softly. "I'm too big to be beautiful." It had seemed like, ever since that morning her small pooch had seemed to turn into a full on baby bump, seemingly overnight, that the baby had had a serious growth spurt.

He shook his head. "You're unbelievably beautiful. And sexy. And hot."

She put her hand on his face. "_You're_ beautiful. And sexy. And hot," she said, with a smile. "What time is it?"

"6:30."

She sat up. "When's our reservation?"

He smiled. "Not until 7:30."

She slid her legs over and off the bed. "I need to get a shower." She looked at him and pointed her finger. "And I need you to stay in here."

He feigned innocence. "What else would I do?" he asked.

She made a face at him. "Chip, I'm serious. If you try to distract me, I'll be late."

He laughed. "Far be it from me to distract you, baby." He got up and walked over to the sliders, looking out towards the ocean. "Besides, I already took my shower while you were sleeping."

She got up and looked at him. She could never tell with him, if he would do as she asked or ask for forgiveness afterward. _You know you can't resist me, baby. Even when you want to. _"Okay, then. Well, I'll get a shower and get dressed and then we can go."

* * *

They were sitting at a table outside right by the railing, with a great view of the ocean. She had gotten fish and he had a steak. It was a pleasant evening with a light breeze. She picked at her food, which she knew Chip hated, but he'd stopped chiding her for it. He reached across the table for her hand and she looked at him. "So I was thinking about what you said yesterday, about the last name." It was out of context and she frowned in confusion. "You know, maybe hyphenating."

She remembered and nodded. "Is that what you'd like to do?"

"Kind of." He breathed in and she wondered what he was going to say. "So, I've been thinking. You know, one day we're gonna get married."

She shook her head. "I think it's too soon to talk about that. We should wait until after your divorce is final."

He sighed. "I know. But I was thinking anyway, that when that happens, if you're okay with it, I was hoping you'd let me adopt Yoby."

She looked at him with surprise. "Are you sure?" He nodded and she felt tears in her eyes. "Oh, Chip, I don't even know what to say."

He smiled. "I was thinking that maybe, since Yoby's last name is already Britton, we could add Puskar right before it. And then, for our baby, it would be the other way around. Britton Puskar. What do you think?"

She thought he looked anxious, like maybe she wouldn't like it or agree to it, so she smiled right away. "I love that, Chip," she said, her heart feeling full. "Yes, we should do that." She squeezed his hand. "I think we've made our first decision."

He smiled back at her. "I think we have," he said.

She smiled. "So now will you help me pick out baby furniture?" He laughed out loud.

**Chip**

The last day in Malibu, they walked out to the end of the pier and had a late breakfast at the Malibu Farm Café. It was out over the ocean and it was a nice spot for a casual meal. He watched her as she ate and gazed out over the water. The breeze blew threw her hair. She had on a beach hat and her sunglasses. He was struck, yet again, by the fact that, although she now looked as pregnant as she'd wanted to, everything else about her was still slender. She glowed. That was the thing he noticed most. She had a sereneness about her. She'd told him she wouldn't feel completely relaxed until she had gotten through her whole pregnancy and given birth to a healthy baby, but she was much less stressed about all the things they had been initially worried about. Every milestone crossed, every test that was negative for any of the things that could go wrong, left her feeling more at peace.

"Do I have something on my face?" she asked with a laugh.

He pulled himself back to the present, realizing he'd been lost in thought. He grinned. "Just thinking about how beautiful you are."

She laughed again. "You say it enough and I'll actually believe it."

He leaned forward and reached for her hands. "You're amazing, you know? You've done this amazing thing and you're getting near the end and before long we'll have a healthy baby to love. You've taken all of this very seriously but you've also enjoyed it all."

She put her hand on her belly. "I never thought I'd get this chance. I thought it had passed me by, that I was too old. And then when it actually happened, I realized what a gift it was, and I was determined to treat it with great care. But I love it. Being pregnant." She wrinkled her nose and smiled. "And I love you."

He leaned a little closer. "I think we still have some time before check out," he murmured, and her smile grew. "Want to?" She nodded. He got up and held his hand out to her. She took it and he lifted her from her chair. He put his arm around her shoulder and she put hers around his waist and they walked back to the hotel.

* * *

Making love to her always felt a little bit like a dream. Like he was going to wake up to find that he hadn't won the lottery, that she wouldn't be the woman in his arms, in his bed. The feel of her skin, the smell of her hair, the taste of her mouth, and how she felt when he was inside her made him feel like the luckiest man in the world. He had his arm around her, then he sighed and reluctantly pulled out of her. "Oh, babe, that was so wonderful," she murmured. She turned her head so she could look at him. "And you were wonderful to come up with this idea." She sighed. "I guess it'll be awhile before we get to go away together, just us."

He brushed her lips with his. "We'll try not to let that go too long," he said. She rolled over towards him then, snuggling up to him. Her belly was pressed against him and he could feel the baby's movements inside her. it always gave him a lump in his throat, knowing the two of them were having a baby together, someone they had made together. He remembered feeling emotional about Taylor, Chase, and Addie, before they were born, but there was something different about doing this with Connie. He had known, from the moment he'd met her, that their relationship, no matter what that meant, was going to be something special. Within just a few weeks, he'd known with certainty that she was the woman he was meant to be with. And when she told him she was pregnant, after the initial shock wore off, he had known he was the one meant to give her that and that it would connect the two of them forever.

He had told her once, when they were wrapped up in the sheets and each other, breathing hard and feeling satiated, that they were inevitable. She had agreed. He had known all along that they weren't going to be able to stay away from each other, because they were meant to be together. She had told him that she couldn't say no to him, even if it would have been the right thing to do, because he was the only man who made her feel alive. She had changed his life. Let him feel things he'd never imagined he could feel. Beyond what he'd ever believed was possible and he had ever known to hope for. He breathed in deeply, putting his index finger under her chin and lifting her mouth to his, savoring the taste of her mouth and the feel of her lips as well as her desire for him. He rested his hand on her belly, feeling the baby move again, his heart swelling with the love he felt for this woman and the baby she carried. He pulled his lips from hers, smiling down at her. She smiled at him, then rested her head again on his shoulder.

He loved her with all his heart and he wanted her to fully be part of his life. "I want to take you to the family beach week," he murmured against her hair.

"What?" Her voice was languidly soft, but he heard the apprehension in her voice.

"I want you to get to know my family, but I especially want them to get to know you. We're creating a family together and I want to include you in that one. It'll be a fun week, I promise."

She lay there quietly for some time. Then finally she said, "Let's talk about it when we get home." He kissed her forehead and then she raised her face to his. He took her mouth with his and then just concentrated on the feeling of pleasure he got from her and the pleasure he gave back, until the world around them seemed to recede and leave them in their own cocoon where nothing else existed beyond the way their bodies perfectly fit the other and made them one.

**Connie**

He first brought up the beach trip just before Memorial Day, while they were in Malibu. It was a family trip with the extended family, including cousins and aunts and uncles, and more kids. They went every year to the Outer Banks, renting two large beach houses, one next to the other. They stayed a week, he'd told her, just relaxing and having fun. There were barbeques, time out on the ocean in a boat, sitting on the porch drinking beer, trips into town for ice cream, and beach games. Once he'd told his mother and sister about her, and his mother had time to adjust to the changes in his life, he started talking about it. To her. she knew he was afraid to ask if they could come, knowing that his mom planned to invite his kids. Being in LA full time meant that he'd been able to spend more time with them and she knew things were still pretty tense.

She had not yet been included in any time spent with them. She understood and wasn't inclined to push. She was busy looking at baby furniture and picking out things she could buy without regard to gender. When the baby had started moving, she had gotten more excited, looking forward to the day she would meet her son or daughter. Not too soon though. Her LA doctor told her – and her Nashville doctor concurred – she was clear to do whatever she wanted, but not to push too hard. _Take naps, put your feet up, take it easy. Let Chip wait on you._ She smiled at that last part. She thought that if he could have gotten her to stay in bed so he could pamper her full time, he would have tried.

He was always right there to pick something up for her. Hhe'd take Yoby to the park or to play dates. He rubbed her shoulders and feet at night. He was intrigued with, and curious about, all the changes in her body. One of his favorite things to do was gently rub her belly and talk or sing to the baby. She had worried, at one point, when her belly really started to expand, that he might not find her attractive, but if anything, he seemed more turned on by her. Which was good, because she was ridiculously horny most of the time.

He started to get more serious about the beach week, wanting to go and wanting her to go with him. It would be the week before they were to go back to Nashville, and they needed to decide quickly. The show had been the very last broadcast show to be renewed and they both knew how touch-and-go it had been. It had been a big relief to get the word, even though she would have been happier with fewer episodes. Callie had told her they would work around her as much as possible and would even consider camouflaging her pregnancy if necessary.

She wasn't sure she wanted to go to the beach. It would be hot, for one thing, not comfortable for an 8 months pregnant woman, which she would be then. And she didn't want to create any discomfort for anyone else. Plus they would go straight from there back to Nashville and the idea of so much travel wasn't appealing.

She hadn't given him an answer but she knew he'd ask again.

**Chip**

He was at the park with Yoby. Connie had begged off, saying she was tired. She had just moved into her third trimester and her energy level wasn't as high as it had been. She was also having some of the Braxton-Hicks contractions her doctor had told them about and those made her anxious. Even though the doctor had told her how to tell the difference between those 'practice' contractions and the real thing, it spooked her.

As he watched Yoby on the slide, he thought again about the upcoming beach week. It was in 3 weeks. Connie was still non-committal, even to the point of ignoring it. He thought about the conversation he'd had with his mom when he had decided he wanted to come.

"_So I wanted to float this past you." He hesitated a second before just plowing right in. "I want to come for beach week and bring Connie and her son."_

_It was his mom's turn to hesitate. "Well, Chip, your children will be here. If not for that, I'd be more open to it. But are you sure they're ready for that? Is __Connie__ ready for that? Did you even discuss it with her?"_

_He frowned. "Yes, I discussed it with her. She knows and is fine with it." His mom didn't have to know that Connie still wasn't sure it was a good idea._

"_You need to tell your kids first, Chip. It may change their plans. I wouldn't advise you to just show up without talking to them."_

_He knew his kids could change their minds, but he hoped they wouldn't. The last time he'd talked to Taylor, she had asked a couple questions about the baby, which he wanted to believe was a good sign. "Sure, I'll do that. of course," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt._

"_Aren't you going back to Nashville the beginning of July?"_

"_Yes."_

_She sighed. "Chip, she'll be, what, eight months pregnant then? All that travel…."_

"_The beach is relaxing, Mom," he snapped. "And I want her to meet everyone. She's important to me and everyone needs to start seeing her that way."_

"_It's a complicated situation, Chip. You know that. You're still officially married…."_

_He scowled. "The divorce is in process," he said angrily._

"_I know that, but it's still the truth. And you want to bring your pregnant girlfriend."_

_He fumed. "I love her. We're having that baby together. I want her to be part of this family. She's smart, funny, caring, and an amazing mom. We're doing this together, whether you like it or not." He felt unexpectedly emotional, but it was important to him that they accept her. "it's important to __me__."_

_After a moment, she said, "I know, honey. I'm sorry. There are a lot of mixed feelings here. But I do want to get to know her. She is welcome, if you want to bring her."_

"_Thanks. I'll let you know."_

He needed an answer.

* * *

He was putting lotion on her feet, something that he enjoyed doing and that she needed his help with. Many times, when he did this for her, she would get aroused and want sex. He was hoping this would one of those nights. She was leaning back against the pillows, watching him. She was wearing panties and a sleeveless, drapey maternity t-shirt and he was already feeling turned on. He knew he might kill the mood, but he had to get an answer from her on the beach.

He smiled. "So, can we talk about the beach week?" He felt her foot tense. "Please say yes, baby. I really want everyone to get to know you. I know you're not sure, but I'll be right there with you."

She breathed in. "Chip, it's not that I'm not sure. I just don't know if it's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

"You know." She looked away. "It'll be uncomfortable for everyone. And it could make your kids back out."

He huffed. "They're coming. So you can't use that excuse anymore." He had told them and, after some initial pushback and Addie's furious refusal to come, they had finally agreed not to change their plans. _But you can't make me talk to her_, was Addie's tearful condition.

She frowned. "It's not an excuse, Chip. It's a very legitimate concern. They're there to have fun, not to be confronted at every turn by their dad's pregnant…whatever I am. It's not like I can cover that up, as you know."

"I'm going. So I don't want to leave you here. I don't want you going to Nashville by yourself. So I think you need to come with me." He knew he was being stubborn and willful, but he had decided he wouldn't take no for an answer.

She pulled her foot away. "Are you going to force me to go?" she asked, scowling at him.

"I don't want to _force_ you to do anything. I want you to _want_ to be with me, because I want you to be there. Because I love you and I don't want to go without you." He crawled up next to her, leaning against the pillows. "I need you with me, baby." He let his hand run down her arm and then rubbed her belly. "I need to take care of you."

"I don't need to be taken care of," she said, her voice still sounding angry.

"But I _want_ to take care of you. Don't you want to be with me?"

She turned to look at him and he could see that some of the fight had gone out of her. "I always want to be with you," she said softly.

He smiled. "I'll make you a deal. If it gets too uncomfortable, we can leave and go on to Nashville." He let his hand drift up her leg. "I want my mom and my sister to spend some time with you." He smiled. "And I'm just happier when you're around." He let his fingers graze lightly over her panties.

She frowned. "Are you going to try to use sex to get me to say yes?"

He grinned. "If it works, I am." He could see a smile playing around the edges of her mouth. He leaned in close to her ear. "And I'll make love to you really slow." She couldn't hide the smile then. He let his fingers work their way under the elastic on her panties. She made a little noise. "Say yes, baby," he whispered. He teased her with his fingers.

She groaned deeply. "Oh, god, Chip, I don't know why I let you do this to me," she murmured. She turned on her side and he reached for the waistband of her panties and slid them off. Then he ran his hand up under her t-shirt and started to fondle her breast. He tugged at her nipple, which was already hard. She moved her hips against him, moaning as she did.

He pulled away from her for a minute so he could take off his shorts. Then his hand found her nipple again, pulling and tugging. She shifted and then lifted her leg, tucking it behind her hip, leaving herself wide open to him. He pushed himself into her, but not all the way. "God, baby, you're so hot," he whispered in her ear. "So hot and wet."

She groaned and pushed herself back against him. "Please, Chip," she murmured. "I'll go to the beach if you'll please fuck me."

He smiled and pushed all the way inside her. Then he started to move in and out, with long, powerful strokes. It wasn't long before he heard her start moaning and he could feel her start to pulse around him. He started moving in and out more quickly. He pressed his lips against her ear. "I love you, Connie," he whispered and then squeezed her nipple. She cried out and then he could feel her squeezing him as her orgasm overtook her. Then he came hard inside her and he groaned as he emptied himself deep inside her. He breathed out and wrapped his arm around her, until their breathing returned to normal.

**Connie**

She was sitting at one of the patio tables at a restaurant she really liked. It was a place where people didn't make a fuss over celebrities and it was why she kept going back. They had amazing salads and farm-to-table dishes. The inside of the restaurant was sleek and upscale, but also cozy. The booths were deep and dim, especially in the evenings. It was a great date night place and she and Chip had been several times since they'd been back in LA. She was sipping on a lime-strawberry agua fresca as she checked email. She felt a hand on the back of her shoulder and she looked up to see Carla.

She smiled happily and stood up to hug her friend. "Hey there, girl. I'm so glad you could meet me today."

Carla stepped back and looked her over. "Damn, chica. You are the most adorably cute pregnant person I think I've ever seen." She waved her hand at her friend, dismissing that idea. "No, seriously, you look gorgeous!" Carla reached her hand out, then stopped, looking up at her. "May I?"

She grinned. "Of course." She wasn't a fan of people touching her stomach, except for Chip, and then Yoby, of course, because he climbed all over her. Carla put her hand on the side of her stomach and was rewarded by a sharp kick.

"Wow!" she said in surprise, pulling her hand back. "Do you have to deal with that all the time?"

She shook her head. "Not _all_ the time, but a lot. In the beginning it was a comforting feeling, but I will say that these days, this baby is not being nice to mama." They both sat down then. She smiled. "I'm so glad to see you."

"Is everything still going okay?"

She knew Carla was talking about Chip. "He's filed for divorce." Carla raised her eyebrows. "That's not to say it hasn't been difficult for him because of his kids, but he's still working on that and they at least are not actively pushing him away now."

Carla nodded. "Well, that's good." The server came by just then. Carla looked up. "Can you give us a few minutes? Maybe bring some water for both of us." The server nodded and left.

"He's been the best, Carla. He's so great with Yoby and he puts lotion on my feet every night because I can't reach them and he gives me shoulder massages and back rubs when I'm tired or sore. He'll fix things he knows I like or draw me a bath." She smiled. "I couldn't ask for better support."

Carla smiled back. "I'm glad. And I'm also glad he turned out to be everything you said he would be." She sat back in her chair. "I've seen the pictures in magazines and tabloids and all and you do really look happy. Both of you." She paused. "Connie, you know I always wanted that for you. Thought you deserved it. And he is a gorgeous man and, although I don't know him well, it's clear he adores you. And considers himself lucky to be your man."

She shook her head. "I'm lucky to have _him_. I mean, I know everything is sort of mixed up, and it probably isn't the way we should have started all this, but I really can't imagine my life without him. He's changed me. I can't really articulate what that is, but I know that this life I have now is more than I could have ever dreamed for. That he's the father of my child, well, that's been wonderful. I'm a very lucky girl." She smiled.

"Well, I'm just happy that he's everything you wanted and that he treats you well," Carla said. Then she smiled a wicked smile. "And hopefully Mr. Sex on a Stick is giving you a lot of _that_."

She felt herself blush a little, but she laughed. "Yes, he is," she said. "And it's all fantastic."

They both laughed. By then the server was headed their way with their water, so they decided their order and then settled back for a leisurely girls' lunch.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chip**

He was sitting in the stands, watching Addie's summer league soccer team. She had been playing soccer for a number of years already and never seemed to get tired of it. He'd never been much of a soccer fan before she got involved, but he'd learned a lot from her. She was a real student of the game. It had slowly begun to pull them closer together again. He had made an enormous effort to hang back and let her take the lead on rebuilding things. It wasn't going as fast as he would have liked, and he was having to develop a patience he'd never really had before. As he watched the game play out in front of him, he thought about a conversation he and Connie had had several weeks earlier, and had that bittersweet feeling again.

_He tried to be quiet as he undressed and then pulled on shorts and a t-shirt. He had been out with the kids, seeing a movie and getting pizza afterwards. They had seen The Big Wedding, because it was Taylor and Addie's turn to choose. He and Chase decided it wasn't awful but they hadn't loved it. They'd gone for pizza after and although it had started as a promising evening, it had deteriorated quickly, with Addie demanding to be taken home._

_They drove mostly in silence, but when he pulled in the drive, he had gotten out of the car with the kids. Addie had been sitting behind him in the car and he had reached for her as she started to pass him. She had made a big show of skirting his hand, but it pissed him off. "Addie," he said, his voice tense._

_She whirled around and he was shocked at the anger on her face. "It's not gonna work, Dad," she shouted. "Every time we do this, I just think it didn't have to be this way. You're a terrible person, doing this to us. And not even feeling bad about it."_

"_Addie," he said, his voice changing to a more pleading one. But she turned and ran into the house. It was getting frustrating._

_Taylor had hung back and Chase just looked down at the walkway, tapping his toe on the cement. "Don't give up," Taylor said and then she and Chase went inside as well._

_He had stood there for long minutes, feeling helpless that he couldn't get through to his daughter. So when he crawled into bed, he just wanted to hold Connie in his arms, but he didn't want to wake her. he was surprised when she rolled over towards him and reached out to put her hand on his cheek. "Bad night?" she asked, her voice still thick with sleep._

"_How'd you know?" he responded._

"_I could hear you sigh." She tucked into him, putting her arm around his waist. She leaned her head back to look at him. "You know I love you, babe, but patience is so not your strong suit." He just frowned. "You're asking a lot from them. Their whole world has changed and it's because of us, because of __me__."_

_He shook his head. "__I__ was the one. I went after __you__."_

_She gave him a quick smile. "Well, you weren't always very patient with me then, if you recall. You just aren't very patient. And you need to be." She rubbed her palm on his chest. "Just listen to me."_

He breathed in, thinking about that. She was smart in so many different ways. She was right, he was impatient. About a lot of things. About most everything. He generally knew what he wanted and he didn't want to have to wait for it. It had certainly been like that as far as she was concerned. He had not gone to Nashville thinking the two of them might generate a spark off camera as well as on, but they had. He couldn't necessarily say he'd been _un_happy, but life had become routine and unsatisfying. He'd always thought Patty had felt the same, but with time and distance, he'd been able to see that she just didn't want to push. She had not been prepared that day he'd told her he wanted out.

The truth was that things would probably have gone on as they had for years, had there not been Connie. It had not been an unpleasant life, just not a particularly fulfilling one. The weekend in Malibu had just brought to the forefront all over again that he and Connie were destined to be together. He'd never really thought about relationships in those terms, but it seemed true for them. She excited him, but she also challenged him and made him laugh and made him think. She could say things to him no one else could, call him out on his bullshit, when it was needed. She loved him. He knew that the same way he knew he loved her.

He realized he'd lost focus and shook his head, sweeping out his musings to focus on the game and then realized it had just ended. Addie's team had won and they were celebrating on the field. He stood then and, cupping his hands around his mouth, shouted out, "Way to go, girls!" Addie glanced his way and he smiled at her. He was rewarded with a little bit of a smile back and he was grateful for it. He watched then as the team began to disperse and his eyes followed her as she walked over to the team's bench. She reached in a duffle for a towel and wiped off her face, then stuffed the towel back in. She turned and headed for the stands, walking up to where he was still standing.

"Thanks for coming, Dad," she said, looking up at him and squinting in the sunlight.

"You played great," he said. "And you scored. I was proud of you."

She smiled a little shyly. "Thanks."

Everything still felt stilted, unfamiliar, as though they were two people who hardly knew each other. He'd had the hardest time reaching her and it hurt his heart. After she had survived leukemia, he'd felt extra protective of her. Patty had felt the same and Addie had probably clung to her more than him. He understood, because mothers were always the nurturing ones, but she'd always been so demonstrative, as though she didn't want to take the closeness for granted. Ever since the split, she'd hung back and he desperately wanted to fix that.

He smiled at her. "So, can I take you for ice cream or something?" he asked.

She looked thoughtful, then shook her head. "I don't think so. I kinda need to get home," she said.

It hurt, but he nodded anyway. "Okay," he said. "I get it." He smiled again. "Let's get going then." He figured he should just be glad she had been okay with him coming to the game and taking her home. Connie would tell him that. As they walked to the car, he put his hand on her shoulder and he was happy that she didn't shrug him off. The ride home was silent though. Addie looked out the side window. He'd glance over at her periodically. Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap, her whole body even looked tense. Occasionally she would sigh, but it was always a quiet one.

When he pulled into the drive, she was already grabbing her duffle before he'd even stopped the car. She had her hand on the door handle when he parked. As she started to open the door, he reached out for her arm. She turned and looked at him. "Please think about going with us," he said, pleading with his eyes. "I want you to come."

This time she didn't jerk her arm away, but she sighed more deeply. "I can't," she said. "Someone needs to stay with Mom." Then she slid her arm from his grasp, opened the door and got out. When she got to the porch, she looked back at him, then walked in the house.

**Connie**

They were sitting on the couch. She was turned so she could face him and rubbed her hand up and down his arm. "I'm sorry, babe," she said. He'd told her Addie had said no again when he'd asked her to reconsider not coming to the beach. She bit down on her bottom lip. "Do you think she'd go if I wasn't there?"

He frowned. "Connie…."

She held up her hand. "I know. You want me to come. You don't want me going to Nashville by myself. I get it. I'm just saying that I hate for all your kids not to be there. And if that's what it takes for Addie to come, well, maybe we push back going to Nashville for a week."

He was still frowning. "You were the one who wanted to be back by the first of July," he said stubbornly.

She shrugged good-naturedly. "I know. But it's just a week."

He looked like he was considering it, but then he shook his head. "No. That's not the only reason I wanted you to come. I want my mom to get to know you. And Cathy. Those things can still happen. And Taylor and Chase are still going, which is a good thing, I think."

"You're sure."

He smiled at her then, leaning over to kiss her. "A hundred percent." He moved his arm to put it around her shoulder, pulling her close. "Besides, I like you being with me," he murmured against her lips, before he kissed her. The baby kicked and he put his hand there, grinning at her. "I think this one is saying go to the beach too."

She gave him a side eyed look. "I don't think that's what a kick means, really," she said, but she smiled. "Okay then. I guess we're going."

He put his hand on her face, looking into her eyes seriously. "I know I'm being selfish, wanting you to go. But I want us to do this together. _We're_ together, baby, and we can do this."

She looked back at him. She knew it was important to him. She still worried, although everyone now knew she would be there and the only one who'd chosen not to be there was Addie. "I just don't want to come between you and any of your kids, Chip."

"She'll come around. I believe that. I really want you to know my family, _before_ the baby comes. And I want them to know you. The smart, funny, caring, beautiful woman _I_ know." She could feel herself blush. "The woman I'm in love with." He smiled and kissed her.

She let her eyes trail over his face. She loved him. The truth was, she wanted to be with him, especially as she got closer to her due date. She hadn't _needed_ a man in her life for a very long time, but she _wanted_ this man to be there. It didn't matter that some of it might be uncomfortable – actually, it did matter some, but she was willing to take it on – as long as they were there for each other. This was what she'd always hoped for. She smiled. "I'll try to live up to that," she said.

* * *

The night before they were leaving, she packed for the beach. It wasn't like it was difficult, as everything else that would be going back to Nashville had already been packed and shipped. Yoby's suitcase and backpack were ready, sitting by the door of his room. She had gone through her wardrobe several times over the past few days, trying to decide what looked best. She had one one-piece bathing suit, although she wasn't at all sure she'd wear it. But, based on what Chip had told her about the week, mostly what she needed were casual outfits that would be comfortable and light. She had jeans, shorts, and tops that she could wear throughout, with mostly sandals. She had a couple of caftans that were both cute and flattering. She'd packed one dressier outfit, in case they went out to dinner, a sleeveless top and matching wide leg pants.

Chip walked in as she stood by the bed looking at everything she'd laid out. He came to stand beside her. "That what you're taking?" he asked.

She looked at him, her hands on her hips. "Too much?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Don't forget we can wash clothes there." He pointed at the bathing suit. "You sure you don't want to bring a bikini?" he asked with a smirk. "I, for one, would appreciate that."

She swatted his arm. "Oh hell, no," she said. "I think that would be a little too much of me."

He put his hand on the small of her back and kissed her cheek. "You could just wear it with me," he said, with a chuckle. She shook her head and waved her finger at him. He smiled. "I'll let you finish then."

She smiled back at him as he walked to the bathroom to take a shower. She turned her attention back to the clothes on their bed. She still felt anxiety about the trip. Even though he'd reassured her, something still nagged at her a little. It was an unsettled feeling and she wasn't even sure all of it was the beach week, but that was the most immediate thing. But Chip had wanted her to go. When she'd expressed any concern, he listened, but then he would tell her she was being too cautious. She'd finally decided the idea of going and facing his family was preferable to trying to navigate herself and Yoby back to Nashville alone. She chided herself for being apprehensive, tried telling herself she could navigate this successfully. She wasn't totally convinced on the latter, but she knew it would please him, so she'd let herself be talked into it. She smiled to herself. Well, that and a lot of really amazing sex had done the trick.

She turned her attention to the bathroom, where the shower had just turned on. _Maybe a little more sex will make me feel better about it all._ She felt that heady little tingle deep in her core and she pushed at the waist band of her shorts, shimmying out of them and her panties. As she walked to the bathroom, she shed her t-shirt and bra, dropping them on the floor. Chip was standing in the shower, his eyes closed and his face towards the ceiling, as the water poured down over him. Her eyes raked his body and the heaviness between her legs caused her to feel a little light-headed. She knocked on the shower door and smiled when he lowered his head, opened his eyes and looked at her. He smiled and she opened the door and stepped in. He took her hand and pulled her back against him. One hand ran down over her belly and between her legs and she moaned softly as his fingers slipped deep inside her. His other hand drifted up to her breast and he took her already hard nipple between his thumb and index finger, rolling it and pulling it and tweaking it. She was lost in the tingly sensations and barely registered him pushing inside her. When she started to feel the hard waves of her orgasm begin to crash around her, she leaned her head back on his shoulder and closed her eyes, letting him carry her back to that place where it was just the two of them and nothing else mattered.

**Chip**

As he walked back over to the gatehouse, he watched her with Yoby. It was early in the morning, still mostly dark. Yoby was cranky and she had been trying to soothe him since they'd gotten to the airport. He was leaning against her, holding tightly to the blanket she'd brought for him to use on the plane. It was going to be a long day. They would fly first to Atlanta, then onto Norfolk, where they would pick up a car to drive to the Outer Banks. It was a long trip and it had given him some hesitation, although he'd not shared that with Connie. She was still nearly 10 weeks from her due date and the doctor had given clearance, and so he'd forged ahead. It was important to him that she get to be around his family and it was just as important that she be with him.

When he approached, she looked up. He held out the chai tea. "Thanks," she said, with a soft smile. He sat down next to her and watched as she took a sip. She looked over at him. "Perfect."

He breathed in. "I'm glad we're doing this," he said. She had said very little about the trip since they'd gotten back from their Malibu weekend. He understood he was making a big ask. He was nervous too, but he didn't want to tell her that. He felt sure everyone would love her, once they took some time know her. Well, maybe not Taylor and Chase, but he was glad they were going to be there and glad they were leaving the door open.

She sipped thoughtfully. "So who will be there again?" she asked.

"It's my mom and her two sisters. That's how it all started. Back after we moved to Alexandria. Each sister had a house, with their husbands and kids. And almost every year since we've gone back and done pretty much the same thing. But now the cousins have families and the houses got bigger." He smiled. "It's always fun." One of the reasons he'd wanted her to come was that she didn't really have these family times. Her parents were gone and she and her sister were estranged. She had plenty of friends, both male and female, who had sort of filled in as family, but he wanted to give her a real family. He knew it was unusual, the way it was coming together, but it was important to him for them to know how important she was in his life. "You know some of my cousins. The ones who came for the Opry thing." She had been there that night and had hosted a party afterwards at the Patterson House.

She nodded. "I remember." She smiled. "I hope I can sleep on the plane. I'll be exhausted otherwise."

"You want me to sit with Yoby?"

She put her hand on his arm. "You wouldn't mind?" He shook his head. "That would be fantastic, babe. I just hope the person next to me doesn't mind me sleeping."

She kept sipping her tea and he drank his coffee. She'd been restless all night and the thought occurred to him that maybe it was more than just the trip. "You okay?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrows. "Yeah. Why?"

"Well, you kept moving around last night, like you weren't comfortable."

"I wasn't." She gave him a tiny smile. "The baby was kicking. Makes it hard to relax." She reached for his hand. "I'll be okay. Don't worry." She smiled again. "Everything's gonna be good."

**Connie**

They were finally on the road to the Outer Banks. The trip had been long and she had not really slept well. It was getting later in the day and she was actually ready to fall asleep in a bed. Yoby was asleep in the backseat of the rental car. She felt hot and sticky. It was a humid day and she'd been grateful for the a/c in the car. The road wasn't too busy and Chip was driving faster than the speed limit, so they would get there in about an hour and a half.

He reached for her hand and squeezed it. "They'll have some dinner for us."

She made a face. "I'm not really all that hungry."

"You might be when we get there."

"We'll see," she said, then turned to look out the side window. She was feeling a little grouchy, which she knew was a function of the long day and the heat. She hoped Chip didn't intend to be a chatterbox the whole way.

She still had some anxiety about the trip. She supposed that was normal. Her friends – at least some of them – had wondered if it was a good idea. _What if the kids are awful? What if his mom lectures you about breaking up his son's marriage?_ She didn't really think his mom would be awful. Chip had told her that, in the beginning, she'd been disappointed, but that she was coming around and was even looking forward to spending time getting to know each other. She wasn't completely sure all that was true, but she thought, at a minimum, his mom would be polite. The kids were another story. They had come willingly, Chip had said. He wasn't sure how receptive they'd be, but he was hoping it was a good sign they had come. He also thought that Addie would not have been pleasant so, much as he was disappointed she wouldn't be there, he was glad to spare her that.

Her eyes started to droop and finally shut, as she fell into a light doze.

* * *

She woke with a start when the car came to a stop. She sat up, blinking, trying to knock the fogginess out of her brain. "We're here," Chip said with a smile.

She looked out the window at the tall beach house. It appeared to be three stories on top of a raised foundation. She wasn't looking forward to the stairs. There were two cars already in the drive. When she opened the door, she could feel the heavy, salty air. It was breezy, but the breeze even felt like a blanket. There was sand all around along with palm trees and beach grass. The house was a light blue, trimmed in white, and she was sure all the spectacular views were towards the ocean, on the other side of the house. She felt her chest tighten and her stomach knotted up. Chip was already out of the car and she slowly got out herself.

She looked over at him. "Are you really sure about this, Chip? I feel like we shouldn't have come." She knew she was panicking.

He scowled. "Connie, we're here. We've come all this way and we're not turning around and going back." His voice was clipped and angry. "You're being ridiculous."

She felt a flash of anger herself. "I'm _not_ being ridiculous," she said mulishly.

He huffed. "We've had this same conversation over and over. But we're here and we're not leaving. _I'm_ not leaving." She stared at him, not sure what to do next. He walked around the car and came up beside her. He put his arm around her and pulled her close, kissing her on her forehead. "Sweetie, I know you're nervous. And I'll promise this. If it turns out that it's too uncomfortable, we'll leave. Okay?" She nodded. "But I hope you'll give this a chance. Give everyone a chance to get to know you."

She breathed in deeply and then looked at him. "I just don't want _you_ to end up hurt, if this doesn't go how you wanted." She gave him a quick smile. "But thanks for understanding." She took another deep breath and then let it out. "I guess we should go in," she said, giving him a smile.

After he'd gathered Yoby out of the car, she followed him up the stairs, trying not to feel anxious about the week ahead.

* * *

The house was full, the voices were loud and raucous, the laughter free flowing. Chip introduced her to everyone who was there. She was exhausted, but she put a smile on her face anyway. There was pizza and she suddenly had a slice on a plate in her hands. She heard one of his cousins say the older kids had gone into town. She thought that at least gave her some time to rest up before she had to face them. Someone, one of Chip's mom's sisters, had taken Yoby from her and whisked him upstairs. The surprising thing was how easily he went to someone he didn't know. He was tired, though, just like she was.

Her eyes followed Chip. He was definitely in his element, joking with his cousins, drinking beer, laughing loudly. It was how he got in a crowd of people. He was always moving, as though he was the host of the party, making sure everyone was happy and enjoying themselves. It made her smile. He was always the life of the party, full of energy. He was in his element. She felt a hand on her arm and turned to see Chip's mom.

"I'm sure you're exhausted," she said.

She set her plate down, only a few bites out of the pizza slice. She nodded. "I am. It's been a long day." She smiled gratefully.

"Well, I know one of the guys took your luggage upstairs. If you like, I can show you your room." She bit down on her lip, unsure if she should leave. "I'll let Chip know." She glanced over at her son. "One thing I know about him is that now he's where he wants to be, the center of everything." She smiled. "Come on, I'll show you."

She gratefully followed the other woman out of the kitchen and up the stairs. As they walked down the hall, they stopped in front of a closed door. "Your little boy is in there."

"Thank you."

"He's adorable, by the way." She smiled her thanks. "And you're across the hall here." She pushed the door open and they walked into the room. For a second, she had wondered if Chip was going to have another room. Even though they were both in their 40's and they were very clearly together, Chip's mom might have been old-fashioned about everything. But when her eyes found Chip's bag, she almost laughed out loud. His mom patted her arm then. "I hope we get some time to talk tomorrow, but I can see you're exhausted and I know you need some sleep." She hesitated just a fraction of a second. "We're glad you're here. _I'm_ glad you're here."

She felt a lump in her throat. "Thanks." Without another word, Chip's mom patted her again on the arm and then left her alone. She looked around the room then. It looked appropriately beachy, with the white wood furniture and everything in shades of blue and pink and yellow. She could see that it had its own bathroom, which she appreciated. She walked over and sat on the bed. It was soft and covered with a pale blue summer blanket. She smoothed her hand over the blanket, wanting to just fall back on the pillows. But she resisted the urge, getting up to unpack.

She felt a little sticky from the heat and decided to take a shower before she got in bed. She walked into the bathroom and reached into the shower to turn on the water. She got towels out of the linen closet and then grabbed the t-shirt and shorts she normally slept in. Looking in the mirror, she pulled her hair up on top of her head and pinned it securely. She thought about what Chip had said – that if it was too much, they would leave. It made her feel better that he understood and it gave her back a little sense of control. She undressed then and got into the shower. She let the warm water roll down over her. She grabbed a bath sponge and soaped it up, then ran it over her body and as far down her legs as she could manage. Then she rinsed off and stood under the water until it ran cool, making her shiver a bit. She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, picking up a towel to dry off with.

When she'd gotten dressed and took down her hair, she went and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching for her lotion. She started smoothing it over her arms then moved so she was sitting back against the pillows. She drew her legs up so she could lotion them. She wished she could reach her feet, something Chip usually did for her. She swallowed over a lump in her throat. _Damn hormones._ She'd never felt as weepy in her life as she did these days. She finished up by pulling the t-shirt up over her belly, rubbing lotion there as well. She set the lotion on the bedside table and then just sat on the edge of the bed, listening to the faint sound of waves crashing on the beach. She also noticed that there wasn't as much noise from downstairs. She heard the door open and she turned. She smiled when she saw it was Chip.

"You okay?" She didn't say anything, just nodded. She felt the mattress dip as he crawled up behind her. He held his hand out. "Let me get your back." She handed him the lotion and then closed her eyes as he squeezed it in his hand and then rubbed it on her shoulders and then up under her shirt in the back. Then he leaned into her neck. "You sure you're okay?"

She nodded. "I'm just exhausted," she said. She sighed. "Your mom was really sweet." She felt uncharacteristically vulnerable.

He chuckled softly. "She's like that," he said. "She was afraid you were going to pass out on the floor." He kissed her neck. "She scolded me."

She turned her head towards him. "Why?"

He put his arms around her and leaned his chin on her shoulder. "Because of the long travel day. She said I was not taking care of you properly," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

She waved her hand and smiled. "I agreed to it."

He kissed her behind her ear. "That is true." He sighed. "She told me she's looking forward to getting to know you. But she made me promise to let you sleep and not bother you."

She leaned back into him and laughed. "I'll have to thank her for looking out for me."

He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Did you get your feet?" he asked. She shook her head. He let her go and moved towards the end of the bed, then turned her so she could sit back against the pillows. He reached for the lotion and squeezed some in his hand. Then he started rubbing it onto her feet, caressing them as he did so, the way he did every night.

She let herself relax against the pillows as she watched him. She wasn't sure what it was, whether it was the gentle way he rubbed her feet, teasing out the aches of the day, or the way his fingers felt on her skin, but it always made her feel loved and it almost always made her horny, the way she was beginning to feel then. She dragged her breath in slowly, feeling a tightness in her chest and a fullness between her legs. She moaned just a little when he paid attention to her ankles. He looked up at her then and she bit her lip.

He tossed the lotion on the floor and slid up the bed, putting one hand on either side of her as he leaned in to kiss her. She put her palms on his face and drew him a little closer as the kiss deepened. He finally pulled his mouth from hers and placed a light kiss on the tip of her nose. Then he flipped her onto her side and he fit himself behind her. He let his hand slip under her shirt and she shivered a little at the touch of his fingers as they sought out her breast. He cupped and kneaded and she moaned. He took her nipple between his thumb and index finger, squeezing and twisting and pulling until she pressed her ass firmly against his crotch. He slid his hand down, inside her shorts, his fingers between her legs teasing and taunting her. She tried to tell him without words how much she needed him inside her, pressing back against him frantically, trying to arch her pelvis up so he would at least put his fingers inside her.

He finally slid two fingers inside her and she let out a long, low moan as he took his time pressing them deep inside. "God, baby, you're so wet," he murmured in her ear. "So hot and wet." He swirled his fingers and she gasped and then felt the concentric circles of pleasure rise higher and higher until she came with a fury that left her breathing hard, every bit of her feeling highly charged. When she finally relaxed against him, he withdrew his fingers and pushed the shorts down as far as he could. As he then worked on his zipper, she used her feet to push her shorts off the rest of the way. Just as she'd pushed them down off her feet, he plunged into her swiftly, his strokes fast and powerful. She knew he was right on the edge and, almost immediately after she had that thought, he made one last thrust and then let go, pressing his mouth against her back to muffle the sounds.

As they lay together, breathing hard, she felt him very gently stroke her stomach. She had worried, early in her pregnancy, that more intense sex would make her miscarry or something else, but the doctor had reassured her that it was fine, that the baby was safe inside her, and finally she had relaxed about it, which in turn made Chip feel more relaxed. She had seemed to be in a state of heightened desire for sex since the very beginning and, even now, approaching the beginning of her eighth month, she still had a high sex drive. She sighed contentedly as he continued stroking her belly and she started to feel deeply relaxed. She snuggled against him, trying to press every inch of her skin against his, and he softly placed kisses on the nape of her neck and behind her ear.

"This is when you're the most beautiful," he whispered, his voice so soft she wasn't completely sure she'd heard him. "Naked, in my arms," – his hand stopped, just cupping her belly – "pregnant with our baby. Happy and in love."

She was overcome with her emotions. _These damn hormones are making me a blubbering mess._ She nodded, unable to speak right away. When she finally regained her voice, she said, "You make me feel beautiful." She put her hand over his. "You gave me this gift and it does make me so very happy."

He kissed her on the back of her neck. There was a long silence between them. Then he broke it. "We haven't been here long enough for anyone to get to know you. I know it's tough knowing my kids are here. I feel it too. But my mom and my sister want to get to know you." He kissed her shoulder. "You know Yoby loves you." He paused. "And _I_ love you." He paused again. "And you love me and that's really all that matters, right?"

She could feel the tears but blinked them back. She nodded. "Yeah," she whispered and she let herself relax in his arms, reminding herself how lucky she was to have what she had, and then fell into a deep sleep.

**Chip**

He brought Yoby downstairs with him. Connie was still sleeping, so he'd left her alone. He walked over to one of the cabinets and opened it. "You want cereal, buddy?" he asked Yoby. The little boy nodded, so he took out a bowl and set it on the counter. He let Yoby sit on the counter as he reached for cereal. "Cheerio's okay?" Yoby nodded again. He smiled. Yoby was always quiet when he got up. He poured cereal in the bowl and then got milk. "Wanna sit outside?" he asked.

"Yep," Yoby said, with a firm nod. He set the boy on the floor and poured himself a cup of coffee. He handed Yoby a spoon and then, with the bowl and mug in hand, they walked out to the balcony. It was going to be a beautiful day and he breathed in the sultry salt air. When he turned towards the porch table, he saw Taylor sitting on the porch swing.

"Hey, Tay," he said. She looked up. "You're up pretty early."

She smiled. "Maybe. But I hate missing a sunny day at the beach." He swung Yoby up into a chair, after placing his bowl on the table. Taylor got up from the swing and walked over to the table and sat across from Yoby. "So who's this?" she asked.

He sat next to Yoby, pleased she was interested. "Yoby. Connie's son."

She smiled. "Well, hey there, Yoby." Yoby put a spoonful of cereal in his mouth as he looked curiously at Taylor. "I'm Taylor."

Yoby chewed his cereal and swallowed. Then he said, "Hey."

He grinned. "He's a man of few words," he said with a chuckle.

She looked over at him. "So I see." She looked back at Yoby. "How old is he?"

"Two and a half."

"So, have you ever been to the beach before, Yoby?" she asked, turning her attention back to him. He nodded solemnly, as he continued to eat his cereal. She smiled. "We'll be sure to take you out here. Is that okay?"

"Yep," he said with a nod.

Taylor clapped her hands together and grinned. "He's so precious," she exclaimed.

He breathed in deeply. "He's a good kid," he said. He decided to jump in. "I hope you and Chase will both spend some time with him." He paused. "And his mom."

Her smiled faded and she put her hands down by her side. He waited. "I can only speak for me," she said. "I will try." She sighed. "You need to understand that this puts us in a really tough place, Dad. I mean, it feels like we have to choose sides."

He shook his head. "I'm not trying to make you do that, Taylor. Any of you. I just want to still be your dad."

She was quiet at first and he had to restrain himself from trying to fill the silence. She looked at him with her soulful eyes. "It's been hard, Dad. For all of us. We all got taken by surprise. It's hard to know what to do or say in a situation like this, you know?" He nodded. "I mean, it's like, do I try to understand and just say 'hey, Dad, I want you to be happy so this is okay?', when I don't really feel that way completely? Because I'd really rather this just be a bad dream and nothing changes in our lives, because I thought we were a great big happy family and now I know we're not and it's because you moved across the country for work and you started a relationship with someone else and you decided that's who you'd rather be with? Or do I stick by Mom, because she says she had no idea you _weren't_ happy and she was totally blindsided by this, and she's so hurt that you would do this?" She rubbed the heels of her hands under her eyes, which he saw were starting to look red. "So I feel like I'm supposed to pick. That I can't want you to be happy and her not to be sad, because it can't be both." She folded her arms on the table and the tears rolled down her cheeks. "But I really want both, you know? I'm still trying to figure it all out in my mind and figure out how to be okay with the idea that you're with someone else now and she's _pregnant_, of all things, and that you're not coming back. I get that we can't always know everything and we've probably all been living in this happy family bubble while you and Mom were growing apart and she didn't realize it or doesn't want to acknowledge it."

He heard the screen door bang shut and looked around to see who it was. It took him a second to realize that Yoby had slipped out of the chair and gone inside the house. He felt like he needed to go after him, but he didn't really want to leave Taylor sitting there when it felt like they might be having a breakthrough. His sister opened the door and, looking at him, said, "I've got him. Y'all go ahead and talk. Oh, and don't leave the door open. You're letting the a/c out." She let the screen door shut and then he heard the door close as well.

He looked back at Taylor for a moment. "I'm sorry, sweetie," he said. "I didn't know this would happen. I get that I'm probably asking a lot of all of you. I really do want y'all to get to know Connie and give her a chance and I know she wants to get to know you. And I get how awkward it is and that was never my intention." He breathed out. "I _am_ happy with her, Taylor," he said quietly. "I don't mean to hurt any of y'all when I say that, but it's true. And I really don't want your mom to be sad, even though I understand why she would be. Maybe it would have been easier if everything had been more out in the open, but that would have hurt y'all too. So I don't think it could have been completely avoided." He reached out and put his hand on her arm and was relieved when she didn't pull away. "I never went away thinking this would happen, but it did. I'm not even asking you to understand, just to not pull away."

She sat back in her chair then, her hands in her lap. "I'm going to try," she said. "I love you, Dad, so I'm going to try."

He felt a sense of relief and tears in his own eyes. "Thank you, sweetheart." He smiled at her. "And I love you too. I'll love you forever."

She smiled back, still teary eyed. "And I'll like you for always," she said, quoting one of her favorite childhood stories that he read to her so often that he didn't even need the book anymore. She put her hand on the table and he covered it with his own.

"As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." He felt immensely happy when she grinned, that big smile that always lit up her face and made him smile as well.

**Connie**

She'd slept later than she had expected to. Chip wasn't in bed and, when she went across the hall, Yoby wasn't either, so she figured Chip had gotten him up. She headed down the stairs, but there was no one in the great room. She could hear voices outside and recognized Chip's, so she walked towards the open door. She got a little closer and heard a female voice that she guessed was Taylor's.

"I'd really rather this just be a bad dream and nothing changes in our lives, because I thought we were a great big happy family and now I know we're not and it's because you moved across the country for work and you started a relationship with someone else and you decided that's who you'd rather be with?"

She didn't hear anything else, because she turned and headed towards the front of the house, tears in her eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chip**

After his conversation with Taylor, he felt much better about things in general. She had told him to be patient with Addie and he promised he would, but he knew it would be a struggle. Connie still wasn't downstairs, so he headed up the stairs to their bedroom. When he opened the door, he could see the empty unmade bed. He walked towards the bathroom. "Connie?" he called out. He opened the door, but she wasn't there. He frowned. He looked around the bedroom, wondering if she'd left a note or something, but he saw nothing. All her things were still there, so he was puzzled. And more than a little worried.

He stood in the middle of the room, his hands on his waist, trying to think calmly about where she might be. He pulled out his phone and called her, but heard the ring of her phone in her purse on the chair in the room. He swallowed hard. He walked out of the room and hurried down the stairs. His sister was in the kitchen. "Have you seen Connie this morning?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

She frowned. "No, I haven't. I know she was tired last night, so I thought she might still be sleeping." Her eyes widened. "She's not?"

He shook his head, his heart starting to pound. "Where would she go?"

"There's really only 2 ways to go – along the beach or on the road." She grabbed his arm. "Why don't you walk along the beach and I'll drive up and down the road and see if I see her." He nodded. "Did you try her phone?"

He nodded. "It's in our room."

"You're not worried, are you? Y'all didn't have a fight or anything?"

He shook his head. _Far from it_, he thought, remembering their lovemaking after he had lotioned her feet the night before. "Okay, I'll hit the beach." He started for the door, then turned back. "Take your phone." Cathy nodded, while reaching for her purse.

He headed for the steps that led down the side of the balconies to the ground. The beach access path led over the dune line and down to the flat sandy shore. He hurried down the beach, jogging slowly as he moved his eyes back and forth. He kept thinking he'd been too selfish after all, not listening to her concerns, being single-minded. He hadn't paid attention to her, thinking she was being ridiculous. His heart hurt.

After he'd gone a pretty fair distance, ready to turn and go the other direction, he saw someone sitting on one of the steps of a stairway to the beach. He ran a little faster and saw her, leaning against one of the spindles. Tears filled his eyes as his heart started to slow down. He made a turn towards her and, when she saw him, she started to stand, but he got to her first and sat down next to her, pulling her back down with him.

He wrapped her up in his arms and held her tight as he felt her arms slide around to his back.  
"Baby, I was so worried about you," he said. He pulled back and looked at her carefully, checking to make sure she was okay. "Why didn't you tell anyone you were leaving?"

She shrugged. "I just needed to think and I didn't realize how far I'd gone and I, well, I just needed to rest. I was pretty sure I wouldn't make it back if I didn't."

He looked at her, feeling confused. "Why did you leave like that?"

She looked down and sighed. "I heard you and Taylor talking and I heard her say that she wished things were the way they used to be instead of you, um, being with me." She looked up at him. "It was exactly what I was worried about, Chip." Tears started rolling down her face.

He reached out and rubbed at the tears with his thumb. "Oh, baby," he murmured. "I wish you'd listened a little longer, because she also told me she wants to try to get to know you."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Really." He smiled at her encouragingly. "It's hard, because they feel torn, but they want to reach out. At least she and Chase do." He put his arm around her and she leaned against him. "It's all good, baby," he said soothingly. His phone buzzed then and he reached for it. She sat up and watched as he answered. "Hey, sis. I just found her."

"Along the beach?" Cathy asked.

"Yeah. We're kind of far from the house. Could you drive up and get us?"

"Sure. Where are you?"

"North. We'll come out to the road. If I can tell where we are, I'll text. Otherwise, just look for us."

"Gotcha." She disconnected.

He stood up and reached for Connie's hand. "Cathy's gonna come pick us up." He pulled her up and then they headed up the steps and then towards the road.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He kissed her cheek. "It's okay. I'm just glad I found you." He squeezed her hand and smiled. "Next time you do this though, take your phone," he said and smirked.

She smiled up at him. "I won't do it again. I promise."

**Connie**

She had gotten too much sun on her unplanned walk on the beach the day before, so instead of going out with everyone, she had opted to sit on the balcony. Chip took Yoby, who was excited, and she had stood watching the group traipse over the dune line down to the beach below. She went and sat in one of the comfortable chairs scattered along the balcony, next to the iced tea she'd set down when she first came out. The ceiling fans were on and the breeze was lighter and cooler. Not that it mattered a lot. Being pregnant was like having a little furnace inside her, the heat on full blast all the time. Of course, the impulsive walk along the beach hadn't helped.

_When they had gotten back to the house, Chip had taken her upstairs and found some aloe lotion to put on her skin where it was already turning pink. She'd gone out without a hat or sunscreen, so her cheeks and shoulders and the tops of her feet were already stinging a bit. He was gentle as he worked the lotion into her skin, while she felt embarrassed that she had reacted so foolishly._

"_I'm such an idiot, Chip. I don't know why I did that. I feel like I'm not myself these days," she said, feeling an overwhelming desire to cry but trying not to. She'd felt so emotional since she'd found out she was pregnant and she knew it was hormonal, but she couldn't seem to be able to get it under control._

_He set the lotion on the bedside table and looked at her seriously. "What made you leave like that?" he asked, his voice gentle, but she could hear the confusion and worry in his voice. "I know what you said you heard, but why leave the house instead of just talking to me?"_

_She felt the tears and wiped at her eyes while she breathed in deeply, trying to center herself. She looked back at him and thought he looked so worried, scared even. She tried to laugh a little. "Hormones?" she said. "I just get so emotional and I hate it." She sighed. "I don't know, Chip. I just needed to be by myself. I thought I'd really screwed things up for you and I just needed to clear my head. I thought taking a walk might help, but when I got to the road, I thought that might not be the best way to go. There are no sidewalks on this road, did you know that?"_

_She knew he was thinking that wasn't the point and she stopped. "No, I did not," he said._

"_Well, then I just turned and walked out to the beach. I kept walking but after a while I got so tired. I'd forgotten how exhausting walking in sand is. When I looked back, I couldn't see the house at all."_

_He reached out and ran his fingers along her cheek. "I know I really pushed you to come here. Maybe I was wrong. If you want to leave, just say the word and we will."_

_She shook her head. "No. I'm okay. Really."_

_He reached for her hands and held them tight. "I mean it, baby. If you want to leave, just tell me. I don't want to cause you pain."_

_She sat forward and put her hands on his cheeks. "I love you," she said, then kissed him. _

He'd ended up laying down on the bed with her and they'd both fallen into an exhausted sleep. When she woke, he was gone, but she could hear voices and laughter downstairs and had gotten up then. The kids had headed out to town again and the adults were having cocktails and playing board games. She joined in, but she'd gone back to bed early and slept through the night without waking, feeling better when she got up that morning.

Just then the door opened and she turned to see who it was. Her heart started beating a little faster when she saw it was Chip's mom. She'd had very little opportunity to talk much with Cynthia, as his mom insisted she call her. But since everyone else had headed for the beach, it looked like it was going to happen. Cynthia walked towards her and smiled. "Mind if I sit with you?" she asked.

"No, not at all." Cynthia had not given much away, during the time they'd been at the beach. She had watched her, as she mingled with everyone between the houses. It was clear she and her sisters were thick as thieves and that had made her a little wistful, thinking about her relationship with her own sister, ironically also named Cynthia. They were twins, but they had also been very different, independent beings. They had been close until they both went off to college and that was when the differences began to really show. And now they weren't often in contact. In the beginning, it had felt sad, but she had found that sisterhood with others. Now she wondered what type of relationship she might forge with Cynthia Puskar.

Cynthia sat in the chair next to her and patted her arm. "How are you feeling today?"

She smiled. "Much better, thank you. And also a little embarrassed to have gone out without sunscreen."

"I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, but please don't feel embarrassed. I told Chip that all this travel was too much, but he never listens." She paused. "I'm sorry we haven't really had a chance to talk before now." She smiled a little. "I've watched the show, of course, and read a bit about you. I have to say I really admire how you took the risk to sing on the show."

She laughed a little. "Yeah, sometimes I don't know what I was thinking. It was almost like that kind of slipped past me and then it's oh yeah, there's _singing_ on this show." She paused. "But I like to stretch myself artistically and this was definitely a stretch." She glanced over at Cynthia. "Everyone's been really encouraging, though. Especially Chip."

"I know he was excited to do the show. He's always loved performing, even as a little boy." She paused. "I was glad he got this opportunity."

She nodded. "He's great at it. It was the perfect role for him. That was obvious from the beginning."

There was silence between the two of them as they both gazed out towards the beach. Cynthia finally broke the silence. "I can see how much he loves you," she said quietly. "I'll be honest. I was disappointed in him at first. He's always been impulsive and gets caught up in the moment. Having a settled life had seemed to mostly change that. I was taken off guard."

She breathed in deeply. "I understand." She thought about what to say. "I feel like I need to say I wasn't cavalier about this. I knew I had a choice and I didn't do anything lightly." She looked over at Cynthia. "I love him too. In the end, it was about that." She breathed in. "I'm sorry."

Cynthia smiled and there was compassion in her eyes. "We never know how life is going to go. Chip's dad and I had our own issues. We tried not to display them in front of the kids, so I understand that too. I think we're all having to make an adjustment and we're all also concerned about the kids. I think Chip's desire to please comes from not wanting to take sides. But I see how you look at him and I see how he looks at you and I can see that the love is real." She stopped, seeming to think about what to say next. "He looks happier than I think I've ever seen him. And he's my son, so that makes me happy too."

She was embarrassed when a tear escaped down her cheek. She dabbed at her eye and then brushed the tear away. "I'm glad," she said. "I'm so hormonal these days." She laughed a little.

Cynthia smiled. "Understood. I wanted to tell you that we all just adore your son. He's such a happy little guy."

"Thanks. I have tried to teach him to be open to others and he's a very loving little boy." She smirked. "He can also be a handful when he wants to be. And stubborn."

Cynthia laughed. "Well, I don't think we've seen that yet." She paused. "Taylor and Chase are quite taken with him."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Are you ready for this one?"

She shook her head. "Not really. But when we get back to Nashville we have 7 weeks still. I've ordered a couple of things and I have the cradle I got when I adopted Yoby. It didn't seem smart to buy things in LA though and then have to ship them to Nashville."

Cynthia nodded. "I really am glad you're here, Connie. I like what you stand for. I agree with most of what you're passionate about. I appreciate how you feel about my son." She smiled. "And I can't wait to meet my new grandson or granddaughter."

She smiled back, feeling grateful. "I'm looking forward to that too."

* * *

When everyone came in from the beach, she took Yoby and carried him upstairs. When she walked into his room, he scowled. "Don't wanna nap," he said stubbornly. He could barely keep his eyes open and she smiled.

"But I think you need one though." Yoby shook his head. "Let's just try, okay? If you don't fall asleep right away I won't make you. Is that a deal?"

He was sagging a little in her arms. "Yeah," he said. She put him down on the bed and then went to look for a light blanket. She found one in the closet and when she turned back around, he was sound asleep. She smiled and gently placed the blanket over him. She watched him for a second and then left the room, closing the door behind her.

She walked across the hall and knocked on the door. "Can I come in?" she called out. After a moment, the door opened and Chip reached for her hand, pulling her in. He closed the door behind her and pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laughed.

He leaned in and kissed her. "Sounds like you had a good day," he said, with a smile. He tightened his arms around her, pulling her in close.

She nodded. "I did. Your mom was really very sweet to me."

He grinned. "I told you she would be." He slid his hands around and pressed them against her stomach. "And it doesn't hurt that there's a grandchild in here." He kissed her again, letting his lips linger. "I love you, baby."

She smiled. "I love you too."

**Chip**

After the sun went down and the stars started to appear in the sky, he and Connie walked along the surf line on the beach. The moon was full and created a long white streak along the water. The waves were gently landing on the surf, the edges foaming around their feet. He looked over at her and then stopped, pulling her into his arms for a long kiss. The breeze had picked up and it sent her hair billowing around them. When he pulled his lips from hers, he leaned his forehead against hers.

"I'm glad we came," she said.

He pulled back and looked at her. "Really?"

She nodded. "I am. Yoby's had the best time and everyone's been really kind to us both." She smiled. "You really do have a great family."

He grinned. "I'm glad you think so. I mean, I'll be honest. I did start to worry that I'd forced you into doing something you didn't want to do."

"Well, I was nervous. I haven't spent any time with your kids yet, but they haven't been unkind or anything, so I'm hoping that means there's hope for all of us." She reached up and ran her fingers through her hair, pulling it back from her face. She looked out towards the ocean and he gazed at her profile.

"You're so beautiful," he said softly.

She looked over at him and smiled. "Thank you, babe." He took her hand and they started walking slowly along the surf line. She looked up at him. "What's it going to be like having a newborn?" she asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "You've had a baby before." He knew she'd had adopted Yoby when he was still quite young.

"Yoby was six months old when he came here and he was nine months old when the adoption was final. That's not a newborn. He was crawling, he was starting to develop a personality. He was starting to feel his way in the world." She rubbed her belly. "This one is going to be totally dependent on us. For _everything_."

He thought back to when Taylor, Chase and Addie were newborns and he smiled. "They're so small and they just follow you around with their eyes. I wanted to hold mine all the time. But it can be hard to know for sure what they need when they cry." He cut his eyes over to her. "And there can be a _lot_ of crying." He breathed in the heavy salt air. "You'll be great at it though. You nurture, and that's what newborns need. You'll talk to him or her, laugh and smile, and work hard to get a smile back. It'll be like raising Yoby, just with a tinier baby."

"it makes me nervous," she said.

"Why?"

"Well, I'm older. I don't have all that stamina, like a younger mom would. I just want to raise a healthy, happy baby who grows up to be a good person."

He smirked. "You know you aren't gonna have to do it alone."

She leaned her head against his arm, then looked up at him. "I know." She sighed. "I think part of me is worried about going back to work with an infant."

He laughed. "You'll take that _infant_ to work with you. Just like you do Yoby."

"I know." They walked a little further, back towards the house, before she spoke again. "What do you think about Riley? As a baby name."

He rolled it around in his head. It was a solid name, he thought. "For a boy?"

She shrugged. "Actually for either."

He thought about that. "I think I like it."

"Maybe we could play with the spelling a little if it's a girl."

He frowned. "How would you spell it for a girl?"

"I've seen it spelled R-y-l-e-i-g-h."

He nodded. "That could work."

She smiled. "So does that mean we decided?"

He stopped and leaned down to kiss her. "I think we just did," he said with a grin. "But it's just between us."

She nodded. "Of course."

Although they'd just been walking leisurely, he didn't want her to get too tired. He inclined his head towards the house. "Why don't we go sit in the gazebo?"

She smiled. "That would be nice."

They headed up and over the dune line, then climbed the three steps to the gazebo. They sat next to each other, facing back over the ocean. The dark sky was filled with stars and the moon was rising higher in the sky. He put his arm around her and she glanced up at him, a tiny smile on her face, and then she looked back over the ocean. The moon illuminated the foamy waves, but, other than the sound of crashing waves, it was hard to see the water. She leaned her head on his shoulder. "You okay?" he asked.

She nodded, not moving her head from his shoulder. "Yeah. Just thinking."

"About what?"

She sighed. "Have you thought about what we'll tell Yoby and the baby one day? About us?"

He frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked, although he was sure he knew what she meant.

She patted his leg. "You know." She sighed again. "When the baby's born, you'll still be married to someone else."

He breathed in. "I'm getting a divorce."

She sat up then and looked at him. "I know, but there's a whole story there. We both came to Nashville to work. You were married, with a family. You would fly home almost every weekend to see them. We got to know each other, became friends, and then couldn't – or maybe _didn't_ – stay away from each other. It was just supposed to be a fling…."

He scowled. "It was never a _fling_, Connie. You know that. It was never supposed to be."

"I don't know what it was _supposed_ to be, Chip, but we were playing with fire. And _you_ know that." She turned to face him. "Anyway, I ended up pregnant and you ended up having to make a decision about what you were going to do about that. And _you_ know that you didn't come to Nashville with a plan to divorce your wife." He looked out over the ocean, clenching his jaw. She was right about that. "And now we live together and I'm getting bigger every day. We're playing family with Yoby and a baby on the way."

"We're not _playing_ at it, Connie," he said, getting pissed.

She shrugged. "My point is that you won't be divorced when the baby is born. He or she will find that out one day. And you will be technically married to someone else the day he or she is born, even if you choose not to look at it that way."

"But I'll get divorced and then, hopefully, you're gonna marry me and we'll be all good. So what's your point?"

"Exactly what I said at the beginning. What do we say? How do we explain it? And when? I really don't want our son or daughter to hear that from anyone but us. But when do you do it? And how do we tell him or her the circumstances of how he or she came to be? Is it, hey, your mom and dad had an affair and mom got pregnant and dad left his family and even though he filed for divorce, when you were born he was technically still married to someone other than mom?"

He didn't understand why she was doing this. For a minute he felt like she was trying to piss him off so he'd leave. Or that she was embarrassed about it. Or had changed her mind about their future. But he stayed quiet long enough to reason out that she was being protective. This baby was so important to her and he was important to her and she didn't want to not be in control of the narrative.

He sighed and then reached for her hand, lifting it to his lips and kissing it tenderly. She hadn't spoken in an angry tone, hadn't sounded judgmental, but it was clearly something that weighed on her. "Connie, I think there's a different story we can tell."

**Connie**

At first she knew he was angry. The way he snapped back with an alternate story, the frown on his face. But she didn't want their baby, so precious to her, to feel different somehow just because his or her parents had not done things the traditional way. She wanted the baby to know he or she came from love. She watched him lift her hand to his lips. "Connie, I think there's different story we can tell."

"Tell me," she murmured.

He held her hand tightly. "Yes, we may have to acknowledge that things were complicated when we met." He shrugged. "Or maybe it's that we were both at a crossroads, not knowing that a TV show we'd both been cast in would change our lives forever." He smiled. "I still remember walking in the room where we did the table read and seeing you sitting there at the table. I'd seen you on screen before and thought you were beautiful, but seeing you there that day, you were not only beautiful, but you were sexy."

She laughed. "Chip! I had a ponytail and glasses and no makeup on."

He shook his head. "You looked beautiful. And sexy. To me. I remember my heart pounding and my mouth got dry. I had no idea how I was going to keep up with you without looking completely ridiculous. But damn if I wasn't stoked as hell to get to try. I was nervous as shit, but I hoped you could drag me along with you."

She laughed again. "You looked exactly like what I pictured Deacon looking like in my head. Tall, brooding, dark hair, scruff, dressed casually down to the well-worn boots. Bedroom eyes and the scent of smoldering sex appeal just wafting off of him." She smiled playfully. "I was so turned on by that. And then there he was. You, embodying Deacon Claybourne." She laughed again. "And then I figured out you were not only that, but you were a big goofball, always making me laugh."

He smiled, then leaned forward and kissed her. "I'm getting away from my story," he warned. "So there you were and I was smitten immediately. I had met the person who I was going to be with for the rest of my life. I knew it right then." She put her hand over her heart, caught up in the story. "It was so hard not to touch you the way I wanted to, not be able to taste you."

She gasped. "I hope you won't tell Yoby and the baby _that_."

He shook his head and laughed. "That was just for you, baby." He rubbed his thumb over her palm. "The amazing thing was that you felt the same. And then, despite some ups and downs, we gave in to it. We were meant to be with each other, as complicated as that was. But when you" – he splayed his hand out over her stomach – "came to be, we knew we needed to come together and build our own family." He smiled. "I would tell him or her that I loved you and nothing was going to hold me back. Yes, they have a brother and sisters, but this is the story I always wanted. The love I always wanted."

She could feel the tears in her eyes then. "You're such a Pollyanna," she said, but she was smiling at him.

"Maybe. But I believe in the love story and I believe that prevails. And maybe we didn't do things in the normal order, but we didn't want to miss any part of it just to make it fit a specific path."

She smiled at him. She did love his enthusiasm and his upbeat attitude about life. He had certainly improved her life. Not that it had been unfulfilling or lonely. She had a wide circle of friends, had meaningful work, which in turn had afforded her the opportunity to stretch her activist leanings. Yoby had filled a lot of the spaces that craved real family, but Chip, and the baby they would have together, had completed that. As the song on the show said, she had a life that was good. "I like your version too," she said. She reached over and patted his leg. "Can we go in? I'm feeling tired all of a sudden."

He jumped up. "Of course," he said. He reached for her hand and gently pulled her up. She started to turn, but he stopped her, pulling her into his arms and kissing her, drawing out the kiss as he ran his hands up her back. They stood there for several minutes, leaning into each other, her head against his chest.

"I love you, Chip," she said softly.

"I love you, Connie," he whispered back. He ran his hand over her stomach. "I love all of this."

He finally let her go, taking her hand and leading her back over the wood slat walkway, stopping periodically to kiss her. They climbed the stairs to the main level of the house and let themselves in, closing and locking the door behind them. He took her in his arms and kissed her once more before they made their way up to their bedroom.

**Chip**

He gave one final push and pressed his mouth against her shoulder to muffle his voice. Then a couple more quick jabs and he was spent. He planted little kisses on her shoulder and back as his hand trailed over her belly, then her breast, and back over her hip. He was breathing hard and he could feel that she was too. But it was nice to just lay together quietly until their breathing returned to normal. "Did you decide what you're gonna do tomorrow?" he asked. He was going out sailing with his cousins and all the kids and he knew his mom had asked her to go shopping with her and her sisters and Cathy.

She sighed. "I don't know. The idea of walking around doesn't sound appealing. I sort of just want to sit out on the balcony and watch the waves."

"You can do that if you want."

"I don't want your mom to think I'm not being sociable," she said.

"She won't think that."

"I don't know. I'll decide in the morning, I guess."

He thought she sounded tired, but also something else, so he didn't want to seem like he was nagging at her. He pushed himself up and leaned over her, kissing her cheek. "You feeling okay?" he asked.

She looked back at him and smiled. "I'm fine. Just tired. The air is so heavy and it feels like it's wrapping me in a hot blanket, so it just takes a lot out of me."

He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Go to sleep then." He kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you too, babe."

He fitted himself against her back, his arm around her. She did feel hot, but she was always telling him that being pregnant was like having a furnace inside her, blowing hot air all the time. As he started to drift off, he was just glad she still liked to cuddle anyway.

* * *

She woke up several times during the night, apologizing every time. Sometimes she went to the bathroom, other times she walked in the hall or she sat in one of the chairs in the room. Finally she slid away from him, telling him she was just too hot to have him so close, apologizing several times. He told her it was okay, then rolled onto his other side and fell into a hard sleep.

**Connie**

"Hey, baby." She heard him whisper in her ear and she struggled to get her eyes open. She squinted against the light in the room, holding her hand up over her face. He was leaning over with his hands on the bed, propping him up. He had on a white t-shirt and shorts and, with his tanned skin, he looked gorgeous.

She smiled up at him. "Hey."

"Listen, you had a hard time sleeping last night, so just sleep in. I told Mom and she's fine with that. I'm gonna take Yoby with me so you don't have to worry about him."

She frowned and pushed up on her elbow. "I don't know, Chip. He's so little. You have to keep an eye on him all the time. And don't drink."

He smiled. "I will watch him. And Chase and Taylor are going – and _not_ drinking – so they'll help out."

She still wasn't sure she liked the idea, but she was too groggy to really think clearly. "Just be careful," she said as she lowered herself back to the bed.

"I will." He leaned down and kissed her cheek and then he headed out of the room and she closed her eyes and fell back into a fidgety sleep.

* * *

When she woke up again, it was still bright in the room and, when she checked the time, it was after 10:00. Her back felt a little sore and she wished Chip had been there to rub it out. She threw the covers off and pushed herself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. She still felt tired, but she couldn't get comfortable, it didn't seem like, so she went ahead and got up. She went into the bathroom and pinned her hair up on top of her head and then turned the water on in the shower. As she waited for the water to warm up, she felt one of those 'practice' contractions. Her doctor had told her they would come and not to be worried. She felt a lot of pressure in her lower abdomen, but it subsided quickly. She got in the shower but didn't feel another one.

After her shower, she got dressed in a t-shirt and shorts and slid on some sandals. She left her hair up, since it was cooler that way, then headed down the hall to the stairs. In the kitchen she got a bowl out of the cabinet and, opening the fridge, took a container of fresh, cut-up fruit out. She filled her bowl, put the container back in the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. Just as she closed the refrigerator door, she thought she heard Yoby. She frowned. Maybe it was from another house, but it sounded so much like him.

She walked across the floor and as she drew closer to the screen door, she heard him more clearly. She opened the door and looked over to her left and saw Yoby sitting in Taylor's lap. She felt her heart skip a beat and her stomach twist into a knot. The door slammed behind her and she winced a little at the sound.

"Mama!" Yoby cried out and scrambled out of Taylor's lap. He ran to her and threw his arms around her legs, pressing his little face against her knees.

She glanced down at him. "Hey, sweetie." She looked back at Taylor, not sure what to say.

"Hey," Taylor said, with a smile.

"Hey," she responded, not able to move. "I thought all of you went sailing."

She screwed up her face. "I changed my mind." She shrugged. "Plus, we haven't had a chance to talk, and I thought we should."

She couldn't think of anything to say, so she just nodded. She looked down at Yoby. "Sweetie, let Mama sit down, okay?"

"Yes!" he cried, stepping back and then running over to Taylor again, settling in her lap.

She walked over to one of the other chairs and set her fruit and water on the table, then sat. she nodded towards Yoby. "He seems to like you," she said.

Taylor grinned. "He's a cutie pie. Chase and I have had fun with him." She hesitated, tapping her fingers on the arm of the chair. "Why did you decide to come here this week?" There didn't appear to be anger in her voice, just cautiously curious.

She was distracted for a moment by Yoby, seeing him look so comfortable. Then she cleared her throat. "Because your dad wanted me to. He didn't want me flying to Nashville by myself with Yoby."

"How did _you_ feel about it?

"Nervous. Truthfully, I tried to back out several times."

Taylor was silent, just nodding. Then she sighed. "I thought about doing that too. Chase and I both did. Especially when Addie decided not to come."

She breathed in. "Why did _you_ come?"

"Well, part of it was to spend time with my dad. Once he's back in Nashville, we won't see him as much. but I also wanted to see the rest of my family. My grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins. We always have fun."

She couldn't think of a response, so the silence just sat between them. When it finally felt almost stifling, she said, "I didn't want to be in the way of that."

Taylor nodded. "You know, it was really tough when my dad came home and told us everything. It was such a shock and we weren't prepared for it." She turned and looked out over the ocean. "I hated him at first. For breaking up our family. For hurting my mom. For making me wonder if I ever really knew him." She turned back. "Then I hated you, for taking him away."

She felt tears in her eyes and she looked down. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I knew it would be hard to come here, to see you, to see you with my dad. And it was. But I'd also had some time to start to get my mind around it. Thinking about life after our family." She sighed. "I saw you two last night at the gazebo."

She looked up. "What?" She didn't think they'd done anything but kiss, but she started to go back through her memories of it, not remembering anything to be embarrassed about.

"He was kissing you. And I thought about how he looks at you and the way you look at him. I tried to sort of back away a bit, look at it all objectively. Or try to. I'm not saying it's easy, but I do want my dad _and_ my mom to be happy. And Dad looks really happy." Her voice trailed off a little.

"You and your brother and sister mean the world to him. I know he's felt bad about how all of this has impacted the three of you."

Taylor smiled a little sadly. "He's a good dad. I think it's just going to take all of us some time to sort of figure things out."

She nodded. "I understand."

* * *

She _did_ understand. She sat on the chair on the balcony, thinking about the earlier conversation with Taylor. It wasn't a long conversation, but enough to know that Taylor was leaving the door open. She tried to imagine what it must feel like to Chip's kids. She tended to be more pragmatic than he was, so she didn't try to paint their circumstances with rose-colored glasses. A lot of things could have happened had there not been a baby. She saw the most likely scenario being that they would have broken things off at some point because, in the end, she wouldn't have wanted to be responsible for breaking up a family.

She looked down and put her hands on her stomach. There _was_ a baby, though, and as beautiful and special as it was, it was causing pain for Chip's kids. It was confusing and awkward for them, she felt sure. They would feel protective about their mom. It would feel like they were choosing sides. She'd never had to deal with the realities of divorce, other than her own. But that had been simple. They'd had no house of their own, no property together, and no children. Once it was done, they had each walked away and she rarely ever thought of that time or him. They hadn't built a life.

She pushed up from the chair then. She didn't want to sit and wallow in all of this. She had put Yoby down for a nap and now she was feeling tired as well. When she stood, she noticed that the backache had returned. It wasn't a sharp pain, just a dull ache. She felt uncomfortable, but she thought it was probably the heat and humidity and how heavy the air felt. She slowly walked inside and then up the stairs. After she checked on Yoby, she went across the hall and laid on her side on the bed. The baby was moving and she put her hand on her stomach where she felt it.

"I don't want you to ever think you were the cause of any pain to anyone. Your dad and I did that. You are just a beautiful and amazing gift," she whispered. "We will always love you and be grateful for you." She felt a sense of calm then and it allowed her to free her mind and fall asleep.

* * *

"Connie? Connie?" She jerked awake, staring up at Chip's face. He was standing over her, but then he sat down on the edge of the bed. She couldn't make words come out of her mouth, but she could feel her heart racing. She had a sense of anxiety, although she couldn't have said why. Chip had a concerned frown on his face. "You okay?"

She wasn't really sure she was. She thought she might have been dreaming, but if she had, it was gone. All she was left with was anxiety and a very clear sense of what she needed to do. "I'm okay," she said, not wanting to tell him she wasn't sure she really was at all.

"You were saying 'no, no, no' over and over."

"I think I was having a dream, but I can't remember it now." She sat up on the bed and looked deep in his eyes. "I need to go home."

The frown deepened. "What? Home where?"

"Well, to Nashville. I can't explain it, but I just feel like I need to go."

"I thought things were going pretty well. You were feeling more relaxed about things, not so tense."

She shook her head. "It's not about that at all, Chip. I _have_ been feeling more relaxed. But I just feel like I _need_ to be in Nashville. Right now."

Then he looked worried. "Is it something about the baby?"

"I don't know." She put her hand on his arm. "I can go back myself if you want to stay. But it's just something I feel in my bones." She tried to smile. "I'm pregnant. I'm irrational."

He sighed. "But I don't understand. We're leaving in just a couple days anyway. Why can't we wait?"

She breathed out. She knew she sounded completely crazy. She couldn't even say why she felt like she needed to go right away, but it was like she told him, she could feel it in her bones. She didn't want him to be angry with her, but she really didn't want to give in on this. "I told you. I'm irrational right now and I can't even explain it to myself. It's just something I felt the minute I woke up." She could feel tears collecting in her eyes.

He sighed again, this time sounding exasperated. He got up from the bed and she could tell from his posture he wasn't happy. "I'll see what I can do," he said, his voice flat and clearly irritated.

"Thanks, babe," she said softly to his back as he strode out of the room.

**Chip**

She never could tell him why she felt so strongly that they needed to go home. He couldn't change the flights until Friday afternoon, but that seemed to satisfy her. it still left him feeling grouchy and out of sorts and it led to them being pissy with each other.

In the end, though, he was glad they'd gone after all.


	14. Chapter 14

**Connie**

She watched Chip and Yoby up ahead of her. Chip picked her son up and let him ride piggyback down to their gate, which Yoby loved. They had a 90 minute layover in Atlanta and, thankfully, their flight to Nashville would be taking off from the same concourse. She smiled a little as she watched Yoby. Because of the last minute change of plans, they couldn't all get in first class. Chip would be sitting in coach, which she thought he probably didn't mind. He was still mad and was barely speaking to her now that they'd left the beach house. He'd been pleasant when they were around his family but he acted like a petulant child and had barely spoken a word to her otherwise.

At first she'd been hurt. No matter how many times she told him it wasn't because she wanted to leave his family, he didn't seem to believe her. Then she got mad, wondering what had happened to his promise to take her home if she asked. When they got to the gatehouse, she sat across from him, and Yoby ran back and forth between them. He'd never stayed mad at her this long before. Truthfully, that kind of thing usually dissipated by the time they went to bed, but not this time. She got mad again. Her back hurt, she'd still been having the 'practice' contractions and so she was out of sorts, and she'd been sleeping poorly, which made her grouchy anyway. She frowned and focused on the magazine she brought with her.

As they waited, late afternoon storms rolled in and very quickly it was almost impossible to see planes at the adjacent concourse. She stopped to listen to the gate agent alert everyone to a ground stop. She let out an irritated sigh. When she looked at Chip, she could see that his jaw was clenched and his face looked like a thundercloud. "Well, this is unfortunate," she said, trying to be conciliatory.

He looked over at her, a scowl on his face. "It happens all the time in the summer. It was why our original reservations were in the morning."

She glared back at him and then looked away. He was not usually like this with her and it stung. Yoby ran over and crawled up into the seat next to her. Then he stood up, one hand on her shoulder. "Mama, I hungry," he said in a whiny voice. She sighed. This was all she needed. Her partner was already pissy, she didn't need her son having a tantrum.

She didn't want to have to ask Chip, so she was relieved when he offered. "I'll get him a sandwich or something." He paused. "Do you want something?"

She nodded. "A sandwich is okay for me too." He nodded stiffly, then walked off. His walk even looked pissed. She watched him for a minute, rolled her eyes, then turned back to Yoby and smiled. "Chip's going to get you something. Can I get you to sit down please?" He turned and leaned back against the chair, then slid down until he was sitting. She patted his leg. "Thank you." She settled her hands in what was left of her lap. "Did you have fun at the beach, Yoby?"

He turned to her eagerly. "Yes! I liked the water."

"Did you have fun with Taylor and Chase and their cousins?"

He nodded enthusiastically, then looked up her, a curious look on his face. "Can they visit?"

She raised her eyebrows. "You mean come to Nashville?" He nodded again. "We can invite them," she said, swallowing over a lump in her throat. She knew eventually she and Chip would work through whatever he was going through, but at that moment, she felt unexpectedly weepy. She smiled broadly at her son. "I hope they _will_ come someday." Yoby was being a little fidgety and she reached into her bag for some of his cars and handed them to him. He immediately jumped down onto the floor on his hands and knees, pushing them around, making little zoom zoom noises.

When Chip got back he had a Chick-Fil A bag and a drink caddy. Yoby jumped up immediately and ran over to where Chip sat down. He reached in the bag and pulled out a small box. "Chicken nuggets!" he said to Yoby, with a smile.

Yoby snatched them away, putting them in the chair next to Chip, kneeling in front of it. "I love chicky nuggets," he said with a big grin, opening the box.

Chip pulled out another small box and stood up, handing it to her. "I hope chicken nuggets are okay for you," he said, and she nodded. He reached back for a bottled water and handed it to her, then sat back down next to Yoby. He pulled out a sandwich box and fries. "Want to share fries, buddy?"

"Yes!" Yoby cried and grabbed a waffle fry and jammed it in his mouth.

She just sat, looking at the people walking up and down the concourse. It was still raining, she noticed and when she checked the monitor, she saw that the flight was delayed another 45 minutes. She sighed quietly and opened the box of nuggets, eating them slowly. After she'd eaten three of them, she no longer felt hungry. She wasn't sure if it was that she just didn't want them or if her mood was the culprit. She hadn't felt this disconnected from Chip since she'd met him and it bothered her. It felt like he was being childish and she didn't really understand why it had gotten him so pissed off that he couldn't get over it.

Chip and Yoby were still eating and periodically Chip would hold the fries so that Yoby could snatch one. She loved how much he loved her son and she was glad Yoby had taken to him so easily. It was when he was with Yoby that she saw what a good father he would be. When she had talked to Taylor, it was clear the loyalty his kids felt towards him, that even in the midst of their own hurt and pain, he was still 'Dad'. She sighed again and stood up. Chip looked up at her. "I'm going to the restroom," she said.

"Okay," he said, not seeming that interested.

She shook her head and headed for the restrooms.

* * *

She washed and dried her hands, then leaned forward slightly to look in the mirror. She had dark circles under her eyes. Sleep had been elusive the previous couple nights and it showed. Her cheeks and nose still had the pinkness from the day she'd carelessly walked the beach without sunscreen. She was feeling the pressure in her lower abdomen again. She had decided she did not really like the third trimester. Things hurt that hadn't hurt before. She couldn't sleep. She was cranky. She had those food aversions again. She thought that it probably was a good thing she and Chip were at odds, because even the idea of sex was not appealing. She finally pushed back from the sink and walked back to the gate.

She sat down and reached in her bag for some lotion, smoothing it over her hands, rubbing it in. It was getting later and she felt sleepy. She wanted to be home. She pulled out her magazine and started perusing it again until the gate agent finally told them to get ready to board. _Thank God._

**Chip**

She avoided his glance. It wasn't like it surprised him. He'd been annoyed with her, and the awkward silences and the clipped words they spoke to each other didn't help. But he had noticed she looked tired and he hoped they would lift the ground stop soon. He'd told his sister he was pissed that Connie had insisted on leaving early and then he got pissed at her for sticking up for Connie.

"_She __knew__ I wanted to have this time with the kids," he grumbled._

_Cathy rolled her eyes. "Oh, for crying out loud, Chip, stop being such a prick." He had scowled angrily at her then. "I mean it. She's eight months pregnant and she looks like she feels so uncomfortable."_

"_She had just told me she was glad we'd come." He knew he sounded petty and childish._

"_Everything isn't always about you, big brother. She's trying to take care of herself and __your__ baby, you know." She huffed. "I think she's been having a good time. We've enjoyed getting to know her. But she's fucking pregnant. She probably just wants to go home and nest."_

_He had fumed. "Sometimes it __is__ all about me, Cathy," he'd said and stormed off._

He glanced over at her again. Her cheeks were still pink and it reminded him of how sad she'd been, thinking that Taylor was telling him she wished Connie wasn't around. It made his heart hurt again. He suddenly felt like a jerk. Cathy was right. He needed to give her a place to nest. And he wanted that place to be with him. As his sister said, she was having his baby. She was being so careful about everything, wanting nothing more than to bring their child into the world healthy and strong. She'd worried about it her whole pregnancy, but they were nearing the finish line now and he needed to be her support.

He had a lump in his throat as he watched her in his peripheral vision. Yoby had fallen asleep, leaning against her, and he thought it looked like she was about to fall asleep sitting up. Suddenly he wanted to be next to her, putting his arms around her and letting her rest there. But just then the gate agent announced that the ground stop had lifted and she was suddenly alert, putting things back in her bag. Yoby had woken up and looked cranky. When she looked up, her eyes caught his, but there was no welcome smile or twinkle in her eyes then.

When they called for pre-boarding, she stood up. "Yoby, let's get on the plane," she said. He looked mulish. "Come on, buddy." She held her hand out and, after a moment, he took it, letting her help him off the chair.

He got up and walked over to her. "You want me to take him?" he asked, nodding towards Yoby. She looked like she was going to say no, so he kept talking. "Let me help you get him settled, at least."

She hesitated, then nodded. "Okay."

He swung Yoby up in his arms and they headed for the gate. They waited in line, then showed their boarding passes, and walked down the jetway to the plane. He dropped off the car seat at the end of the jetway and then they headed onto the plane. He watched her as she slid into her seat by the window, setting her bag down. Then she turned as he set Yoby in the other seat and got him seatbelted in. She pulled a light blanket from her bag and handed it to him. He covered Yoby with it and the little boy almost immediately fell asleep. He watched as she slipped a small pillow under Yoby's head.

"You all set?" he asked.

She looked up at him and nodded. "Yeah." Then she gave him a hint of a tired smile. "Thanks."

"if you want to wait after we land, I can get him on the way out."

"That sounds good," she said. She started to put her seatbelt on but then looked up at him again. "I guess we'll see you in Nashville."

He felt a little deflated, as it seemed she was dismissing him. He wanted to reach out and touch her shoulder, but instead he just patted the back of the seat. "Yeah, see you there." Then he turned and walked back to his own seat. He had been lucky to get a window seat and he settled in, then sat back and closed his eyes. He'd just have to wait until they were back in Nashville to try to make things up to her.

**Connie**

Her heart ached as she forced herself not to watch him head back to coach. She still didn't really understand why he'd gotten so upset with her and then didn't seem to be able to let it go. It was the last part really that weighed on her. It wasn't like him. They'd argued before and disagreed about things plenty of times, but this felt like a fight. And he had definitely dug his heels in, but she wasn't completely clear why. His position seemed to be that she had agreed to come and she had then said she was glad they'd came and he didn't understand why she changed her mind. She had told him she just knew she needed to be home, but couldn't really explain why.

She settled back in her seat, but the baby had seemed to take up residence on her bladder, which made her uncomfortable. She got up and slid past Yoby, heading for the restroom. They were still in the preboarding stage, so the aisle wasn't crowded yet. She entered the bathroom and shut the door. It was almost impossible to get situated. It had never been more evident than trying to maneuver her ungainly body in a tiny airplane restroom. After she washed her hands, she turned to leave, but stopped and looked at herself in the mirror. She ran her hand over her stomach. Her LA doctor had told her she had gained less weight than the norm, although she found that hard to believe. When she looked at herself she felt huge. But as long as the baby inside her was progressing normally, it was hard to complain. She pushed open the door and headed back to her seat.

* * *

She was glad the flight was a short one. As the plane hurtled down the runway she shifted around until she felt more comfortable. She looked down at Yoby and he was still sleeping. She didn't look forward to waking him up yet again when they landed in Nashville. He would be super cranky. But she smiled anyway, knowing that he'd been a wonderful kid. He was usually happy and smiling, loving and snuggly. She thought about the baby and wondered again about whether it was a boy or a girl. She didn't want to tell Chip that she was hoping for a girl. She felt like it was a girl, although she didn't know if that was just because it was what she wanted or not. He hadn't specified a preference, so she hoped it really didn't matter. She did think having a son would be nice. Yoby would have a brother close in age to hang out with. She imagined them being best friends their whole lives. But a girl would be a sister he could be protective of, showing her the way. She sighed and smiled to herself. She was really looking forward to having her tiny baby in her arms, son or daughter. She still felt so blessed to have been given this chance.

As she settled back against her seat and closed her eyes, she thought about the week at the beach. Chip's family was raucous and loving, always laughing and having fun together. Chip's mom and her sisters had been wonderful, hovering around her like mother hens. She had enjoyed getting to know his cousins and their spouses. They'd all been so welcoming and every single one told her they could see how happy Chip was. She felt a little ache in her heart again. She badly wanted to get the two of them back to normal and she promised herself she would make that happen.

She thought about Taylor and Chase. They seemed like such wonderful kids. It was obvious they adored their father, even though the situation was also tense and confusing. She had appreciated Taylor extending the olive branch, but she also understood it would still take some time for them to be more comfortable around each other. Chase had not made any special attempts to talk to her, but he had included her in any conversations they were both part of. She supposed that was a teenager's way. It wasn't until the day before they left that she'd gotten time with Cathy. They had gone to lunch together in town and then sat outside on the restaurant's patio watching people and finally getting to know one another.

_They sat next to each other, facing the beach. It was a less humid day, for which she was grateful. She and Cathy had not touched on anything too heavy during lunch. The restaurant was busy – it was summer, after all – and they talked more about things she hoped to get more involved in. She'd always been interested in things like protecting a woman's right to choose, about the poor and the hungry, and she'd given generously of both her time and money to those causes. But once she'd adopted Yoby, she became more interested in children's issues, especially those who suffered hunger or homelessness. Having played a guidance counselor on Friday Night Lights had opened her eyes to issues with education. And politics had appeared on her radar. She found herself wanting to contribute in that way, by supporting candidates she believed in, and so she spent a lot of time educating herself. Cathy had an enthusiastic interest in those same things, and especially wanted to talk about political involvement._

_Now, though, they were sitting quietly and she was waiting for a more personal nature to the conversation. She could sense Cathy's eyes on her and she turned to face her. "I'm sure this has been...weird," Cathy said._

_She smiled. "And complicated and awkward. But I was prepared for that. It's also felt surprisingly inclusive. I wasn't sure that would be the case."_

"_I think you were brave to come."_

_She shrugged. "I didn't want to at first. I thought I'd be judged, thought I might not be welcome. I understand what some people think about all this. I can deal with that. But you are all his family. And you've all seen him as part of a different family. The awkwardness made me stop and think about whether I wanted to put us all in that position."_

_Cathy looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, you're not wrong. At least about the awkward part." She sighed. "We love Chip. We always thought he was happy with his life. He's never said he wasn't. It's never appeared as though he wasn't. You know, he was always the guy who flirted with every pretty girl. He balked at real relationships because he liked being a ladies man." She smiled. "He was definitely not monogamous. There was always someone new. And I know you realize he's a super extrovert, the life of the party. He likes being the center of attention."_

_She smiled. "You're right about that."_

_Cathy sighed. "When he met Patty and then sort of stopped seeing anyone else, it was a surprise. But I think that deep down inside he wanted some kind of permanence, a home, a place to land. You know we went through our parents' divorce and all of the uncertainty and upheaval of that. Even in the best of situations, it's not easy, and I guess I thought he was always looking for that. And I do think he was, at least at that point in his life." She paused. "I know his family meant everything to him. He is so in love with his kids. __That__, I think, was the best thing that ever happened to him."_

_She nodded. "I can see that," she murmured._

_Cathy looked back out at the ocean. "When he told us that he was leaving his marriage and then that he'd been in a relationship with you and that the two of you were having a baby, we were all kind of knocked off our axis. It was just something we never thought would happen. We thought he was __happy__, that he was __settled__. I, for one, was stunned. And angry, at him. It seemed so cavalier, so hurtful, so...deliberate. So I wasn't sure what think, about __him__, about __you__."_

_She breathed in deeply. "It was never a situation I thought I would find myself in, quite honestly. But it was a really powerful force."_

_Cathy nodded. "I can see that." She sighed. "We loved Patty. Actually we still love her. She's been a part of our family for a long time. But I promised myself I'd keep an open mind, because I also love my brother. And I have to be honest, I see something in the way he interacts with you, the way he looks at you, how he treats you, that I'd never seen before. And even more importantly, I see the way you look at him, how the two of you are always touching each other." She smiled. "Not in a sexual way, but a touch on the arm or the hand. Rubbing his back or giving him a hug. There's an intimacy there that tells me this is something different, something bigger. I didn't expect that."_

_She bit down on her lip for a second. "I never expected this. I'd gone a very long time without a long-term relationship. I had just adopted Yoby and was fully wrapped up in that. I was starting a new show that was so far out of my comfort zone that it almost overwhelmed me. But he and I were drawn to each other almost immediately. As coworkers, as friends. I was vulnerable. He was alone." She paused. "It was something bigger. Something powerful." She reached over and put her hand on Cathy's arm, almost unconsciously. "I told your mom this. I was never cavalier about any of this. I don't believe he was either. It was always about love. But I also understand there's been fallout and I know my part in that and I'll always feel some guilt about it."_

The flight attendant made the announcement that they were beginning their initial descent, interrupting her thoughts. She had felt a connection with Cathy though and a generous spirit. She'd felt accepted and she was grateful for it. She looked down at Yoby then and saw he was still sleeping. She hesitated and then decided not to wake him until they'd landed. It had been a long day and she thought they would all be glad to get home.

**Chip**

He stood at the doorway to Yoby's room, watching Connie put him to bed. She had sat on the edge of the bed, reading to him. The little boy had been cranky, from the time they walked off the plane until they got to the house. When the car service dropped them off, Connie had grabbed Yoby and hurried in the house to put him down. He had brought in all the luggage plus Yoby's car seat, then headed upstairs. The room was dark except for the soft low light coming from the small lamp next to Yoby's bed.

He watched Connie put the book down, so he knew Yoby was asleep. He felt an unexpected shiver of anxiety as he watched her stand up, turn off the lamp, and then turn around. He gave her a hopeful smile. "Hey," he said, his voice low and soft.

"Hey," she responded, sounding surprised. She hesitated a brief second before heading towards him. When she got to him, he reached out and pulled her into his embrace and he felt her arms slide around his waist. She relaxed into him and then he felt her shoulders shake. He held her closer, then leaned back and kissed her on the forehead.

"Cathy was right," he murmured. "I'm a prick." He put a finger under her chin and lifted her head up so he could look into her eyes. "I'm so sorry I acted like such a diva."

She laughed a little and he reached up and wiped the tears off her face. "You really did," she said, but she was smiling.

"Will you forgive me?" he asked.

"I will," she said. "But only if you promise to not do that again."

He grinned. "Well, you know I can't promise I won't act like an ass sometimes, but I will try to never take it out on you again. At least like that." He pulled her out of Yoby's room and closed his door.

She smiled. "Cathy really called you a prick?" she asked.

He shook his head, still smiling. "Yes, she did. Reminded me that I was being selfish and not thinking about you." He sighed. "And she was right." He pulled her close again, feeling her body pressing against his, and closed his eyes. "I don't deserve you."

Her voice was a little muffled. "That's not true, babe. You know that."

It felt good to hold her in his arms. He leaned in and kissed her. "Why don't we go downstairs and just relax?" he suggested.

She made a face. "Oh, babe, that sounds amazing, but I am so tired I think all I'd do is fall asleep the minute I sat down. Do you mind if I just go to bed?"

He kind of did mind, because he really wanted to spend some time with her, after he'd acted like such a jackass. But he reminded himself that he needed to let her call the shots when it came to her comfort and taking care of herself. So he shook his head, letting his hand rest on her belly. "No, I don't mind," he said. "As long as you let me put lotion on your feet."

She grinned. "That sounds wonderful." She pulled away from him. "I'm going to take a shower and get all the travel grime off of me and then I'd love to be pampered a little."

He smiled. "Well, let's go then." He followed her into the bedroom and, while she headed for the bathroom, he took his shoes off and lay back on the bed, his hands crossed behind his head. He listened to the water start and heard the shower door open and close. He almost dozed off listening to the running water, but when it shut off, he roused himself. After a couple minutes, she walked over to the vanity with a towel wrapped around her. She brushed her teeth and then took her hair down, brushing it out. She then walked over to her suitcase and rummaged through it until she found the shorts and t-shirt she wore to bed.

He watched her as she put the towel back on a hook and he sucked his breath in as he gazed at her naked body. He guessed that the lotion kept her belly from getting stretch marks, because he didn't see any on her smooth skin. Her breasts, already heavy and full, were definitely larger and, although she always complained they were in the way and ridiculously large, he thought they were just right. Her legs were still long and lean, the rest of her body just as slim as it had been before she got pregnant. He watched as she slid on the shorts and pulled the t-shirt over her head, smoothing it down over her body. She looked up then and saw him looking at her and she blushed a little. Or maybe it was the fading pink on her cheeks. He didn't care, he just loved looking at her. "You're beautiful, baby," he said.

She walked over to the bed, smiling. She sat on her side and rolled towards him, kissing him, letting her lips linger on his. Then she pulled back and smiled. "Thank you, sweetie," she said. "You make me feel that way." She reached back on her side of the bed for her lotion, then sat up and crossed her legs underneath her as she smoothed the lotion over her arms and chest. When she had finished, she stretched her legs out and was ready to squirt lotion in her hand.

He reached out and put his fingers around her wrist. "Don't," he said. "Let me." She smiled and, without any resistance, handed him the lotion. He put some in his hand, then rubbed his hands together and started rubbing her skin, starting at her upper thigh. He let his fingers slide under the leg of her shorts, then trail over her inner thigh as he slowly worked his way down. She shivered a little and he smiled. He took his time with her left leg, then started on her right, beginning with her foot. When he reached her upper thigh again, he slipped his fingers into the leg of her shorts and went a little further, letting his index finger glide over her, feeling how wet she was. He looked up at her and winked. He leaned over her, putting the lotion on the bedside table, then letting his lips brush hers. "I'd love to make love to you," he whispered in her ear. She seemed to hesitate and he knew she was tired, but his stupidity had meant he'd slept turned away from her for the previous couple nights. "I can be quick, baby," he said.

"And gentle?" He nodded. She nodded and then slid under the covers. As he did the same, she reached up and turned out the light by her bed. He reached under the covers, sliding her shorts down her legs, then tossing them on the end of the bed. He quickly removed his own clothes, then tucked in behind her. The skin on her bottom was velvety smooth, but he didn't linger there. As he moved his hand under her t-shirt, grazing over her belly and up to her breasts, she moved her hips so she was ready for him.

"Oh, God, Connie," he groaned as he pushed inside her. The warmth and wetness of her made him moan with pleasure. He let his hand continue to roam until he started his gentle movement inside her. it wasn't going to take long, he knew, and probably not for her either. And he was right. After a few pushes and some rocking of her hips as she pressed herself back against him, he heard her quick little cries and felt her pulsing and squeezing him and he pushed in one more time and felt himself explode inside her. He held her close as he pulled her closer, wrapping his arm around her. He placed little kisses along her shoulder and then whispered, "I'll let you sleep, baby." She just nodded.

When he got up and got dressed, he turned back to look at her. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness and he could see her under the sheet, her breathing already deep and even. He went downstairs for a bit and then when he came back she was still breathing deeply. He undressed and got in bed and she never moved a muscle. He whispered, "Sleep as long as you like." Then he gave in and fell asleep next to her.

**Connie**

She slowly opened her eyes. She laid very still, not moving a muscle. The light in the room was bright and everything was still. She glanced back over her shoulder, but Chip was gone. She turned her head back and fisted the pillow case as she stretched her legs out, pointing her toes. She couldn't remember getting up during the night and wondered if she had slept through. She suddenly had an overwhelming need to use the bathroom and got up as quickly as she could. While she peed, it surprised her to realize how good she felt. In fact, she hadn't felt this good in weeks. When she walked back over to the bed, she picked up her phone and was surprised to see it was after 10.

She stretched her arms up over her head and then looked out of the window into the backyard. She smiled as she watched Chip and Yoby in the pool. It had been a welcome bonus, having the pool. She didn't have one at her house in LA, although she'd considered adding one. But with a baby on the way, she was really more interested in finding a larger house that already had one. She turned away and got dressed, then headed down the stairs.

She poked her head in the refrigerator and found the pulp free orange juice. She had never been a huge orange juice drinker until she got pregnant, but she only wanted it pulp free. One of those crazy food things, she thought. She poured herself a glass, then opened the back door and walked out on the deck. The sun was so bright it made her squint. It was going to be a hot day, it seemed, but at least there was a bit of a breeze. She walked to the rail and waved at Chip and Yoby.

Chip grinned and then looked at Yoby. "Look, buddy, it's Mama. She's finally up."

Yoby turned his head and smiled joyfully. "Mama!" he shouted. Chip turned and set him on the pool deck and he ran to the steps, slowing down only to make sure he got every step, then ran and threw his wet arms around her legs.

She leaned forward to look at his happy, upturned face. "I see you've been playing in the pool," she said.

"Chip taked me!" he shouted. That had become his normal volume these days, it seemed.

She walked over and sat on the rattan loveseat and he jumped up beside her. "Did you have fun?" she asked, making a face at him.

"Yes! I been swimming!" She could hear Chip's footsteps as he jogged up the steps.

She looked over at him and smiled. "Swimming, huh?" She took in the sight of him, all wet with only his bathing suit on. He was tanned and she could see that he'd slimmed down a bit. He'd told her needed to get back in Deacon form and had picked up his running in the last few weeks. She felt her heart turn over as she admired him. _My man. And he's gorgeous._

He dragged a chair over beside her and sat down, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "He wants to swim," he said with a smile.

Yoby jumped up then and ran towards the back door. "Where are you going, Yobes?" she asked.

"Trains!" he cried, pulling open the door.

"Use a towel!" she called after him.

"Okay!" He ran in the house and slammed the door shut.

Chip got out of the chair and moved over to sit next to her, leaning in for a kiss. "He won't use a towel," she said.

"He's 2 ½. Of course he won't use a towel," Chip said with a smile. He kissed her again. "How'd you sleep?"

"Very well, apparently."

"You hardly moved all night."

"I was surprised I slept through. But I feel great today." She put the juice glass down and then ran her hand along his leg. "I was thinking we could go shopping today."

He grimaced. "What?"

She smacked his leg lightly. "Baby stuff. We don't have a lot to get, but I want to get it now."

"I thought you were having a shower in a couple weeks."

She smiled and shook her head. "Silly man. I won't get the baby cradle or the glider or the dresser. So we need to buy those."

He made a face. "You don't want to just order that online?"

She smiled. "No, I do not. I need to see it and feel it and pull drawers open. And sit in that glider."

He sighed dramatically. "Oh, alright." Then he surprised her by putting his arms around her and pulling her against him.

She squealed and tried to pull away. "Chip, you're wet!" she cried, laughing. He kissed her on the cheek, holding her tightly. "Let me go!"

He kissed her again, all over her face, then finally let her go. "You know you love it," he teased.

She laughed. "I love _you_."

"I love you too, baby," he said, leaning in for another kiss. "So when are we going to do this shopping?"

She shrugged. "After lunch? I need to call Jessie and see if she can watch Yoby for us." She pressed a finger into his arm. "_You_ need to get cleaned up and dressed though."

He just held her tighter, grinning at her. "I kinda like this," he said, kissing her hard on the mouth. She felt that little curl of desire, deep inside, and she opened her mouth to his, letting his tongue fill the inside of her mouth, battling hers. When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers. "I love kissing you," he whispered. "My baby mama."

She sat back and laughed. "Baby mama?" she said, raising her eyebrows. "I guess that makes you my baby daddy then, huh?"

He shrugged and smirked. "Guess so." He finally let her go, standing up. She looked up at him. "I guess I'll go get ready. You can sit here and get dried off." He put his hand against the side of her face, letting his thumb graze her cheek. "I love you, baby."

She smiled up at him. "I love you too." She was glad they were back in sync.

* * *

They were in the car, heading for one of the outdoor malls. They had been discussing the script for the first episode over lunch and then continued it in the car. She made a frustrated noise. "I hate this whole 'Rayna in a coma' thing," she said. And she did. It was so predictable_. _"Rayna and Deacon are in a car accident. Rayna's in a fucking coma. Deacon's taking on all this guilt. They make it all touch and go. And then – a miracle happens! She wakes up! She saves Deacon, even though she probably didn't want to. And now they will go off their separate ways until maybe the last episode of the series, right?" She had frowned after she'd said that to Chip at lunch.

"You don't know that," he said.

"Well, I do know she's in a coma. God." She rolled her eyes for emphasis.

"It's a way to film you so no one can tell you're pregnant," he said. For a second she hated that he was so matter-of-fact about it. He wasn't the one in a coma. But the truth was, he was right.

"I guess. I still don't like it though."

He glanced over at her. "I know," he said.

She sighed. "I'm being a baby about it, aren't I?"

He smiled. "A little. But I get it."

She looked over at him and smiled, squeezing his arm gently. "How are you always so always so chill about stuff like this?"

He chuckled. "I've found it's easier to go along to get along." He looked over at her and smiled. "We do have those flashback scenes to look forward to."

"Well, those are a way off." They would be filming several flashbacks to earlier times in Deacon and Rayna's relationship, but not until mere weeks before the episode was set to air. She was nervous about trying to pull off a 20-something Rayna. She was also nervous about the fact that it would only be a couple weeks after giving birth. She was worried she wouldn't be back in shape. But Rayna couldn't just languish in a coma. She'd had to negotiate a shooting schedule that allowed her to film all her scenes for the first few episodes on 2 consecutive days so she could fulfill her commitment while bonding with her baby. That made her smile. "I can't wait until the baby's here," she said, looking over at him.

He reached over and patted her belly. "But not too soon. We want him or her to stay in there as long as possible." Just then he turned into a parking spot in front of the baby furniture store. "Okay, we're here. Let's get this done." He jumped out of the car and ran around to open her door. He reached for her hand and helped her out. She smiled, thinking yet again that she was lucky to have him in her life.

* * *

They had been in the store nearly two hours. She knew Chip had had enough, but he was at least being a good sport. She had found the perfect cradle for the bedroom that would be delivered the following week. Sometimes she wished they had decided to find out the sex of the baby after all. She had visions of being able to put bedding in as soon as it was in the house – frilly and fun if it was a girl, bold colors and dinosaurs or horses if it was a boy. She'd found the dresser, white like the cradle, which would be delivered as well. Then she had sat in over a dozen different gliders. She made Chip sit in all of them and then she sat in the ones he'd liked, trying to narrow it down.

She was sitting in the last one. "I don't know, Chip," she said. "Maybe just a chair." He opened his mouth, then seemed to think better of it and closed it. "What?"

He shook his head. "We don't have to do this today," he said.

"Well, I know we don't, but we're already out here, so I'd just like to get it done." He didn't say anything but she could tell by the look on his face, he wasn't happy. But she had decided she needed to get this done and so she decided to be stubborn. As she walked over to the chairs section, she saw people in the store watching, probably having seen their exchange.

One of the things she really liked about Nashville was the courtesy extended to celebrities when they were out and about. Generally speaking, no one would bother you if you were eating or with your family. Even those as famous as Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon could enjoy their activities without too much interruption by fans. Once the show hit TV screens, many of them were experiencing similar situations.

She heard Chip's footsteps behind her and, when she stopped, she turned around to face him. She reached for his hand and pulled him a little closer. "I think we have people watchers," she said, her voice low, a little bit of a smile on her face.

"Watching us?"

She smiled up at him. "Yes. So try not to act too put out about shopping with me."

He knitted his brow. "I'm not put out."

She kept smiling. "Hard to tell. Anyway" – she pointed towards a light green chair – "I'm going to check that one out." Then he surprised her by dropping her hand and putting it on the small of her back, pulling her the short distance towards him. The fingers of his other hand tangled into her hair and the heel of his hand was laying gently on her cheek, as he leaned in and kissed her. She rested her hands on his waist and kissed him back. When he let her go, she laughed self-consciously.

He leaned into her ear. "Hope that gave them some photo opportunities," he said, then smiled at her. He pointed at the chair. "So try it out."

She felt sure her cheeks were pink and she felt a little giddy but she plopped down on the chair. It was surprisingly soft and giving. There was plenty of room in it and she looked up. "I think it's one of those chair and a half chairs. You know, an oversized chair, not quite as big as a loveseat." She patted the space next to her. "Sit." He did, then slid his arm around her shoulders.

"I like this. I can sit _with_ you."

She smiled. "I think we decided on a chair, don't you?"

He grinned. "I do. And I also think now we can go back home." She leaned towards him and kissed him on the cheek, feeling happy.

**Chip**

Connie had been up and down all night, tossing and turning. He had asked if she needed something but she would say no, that it was just that the baby's feet were pressing on her ribs and that it was uncomfortable. He would roll over then and try to go back to sleep. He knew she got up sometimes, but she always came back. When he thought about it, she'd seemed to alternate good and bad nights over the last several weeks. He knew the 'practice' contractions, as they called them, were bothering her, and she told him sometimes that she felt pressure in her lower abdomen, which wasn't really painful but uncomfortable.

He had woken up again and she wasn't in bed. Sunlight filled the room, so he went ahead and got up. When he came downstairs, he found her asleep on the couch in the den, so he let her be. He'd gotten a text the night before about a writing session and she had encouraged him to go. So he got Yoby ready, left her a note, and checked on her. She was still asleep, so he quietly let himself out of the house.

**Connie**

She was a little disoriented at first when she opened her eyes. Then she realized she was on the couch, still in her pajamas and a robe. She sat up on the couch and winced. Her back was aching. She put her hand on the arm of the couch and pushed herself up. She put her hands on her lower back and stretched, hoping to relieve some of the ache. She walked into the kitchen and saw Chip's note, then turned and headed for the stairs.

She took a quick shower, then started to get dressed. As she pulled on her shorts, she felt a contraction. It felt mostly like all the other 'practice' contractions she'd had and, when it subsided, she finished getting dressed. She thought back to when she'd first had them, panicking because she thought she was in labor. Her doctor had explained Braxton-Hicks contractions and then given her some things to read and it had helped to ease the panic.

The contractions came and went, not really painful, but she did continue to feel pressure in her lower abdomen. It helped to be up and doing things and luckily she had an overwhelming urge to tidy up. Most of their belongings had been unpacked before they had arrived in Nashville, but they weren't necessarily where she wanted them. So she began methodically working through the house, starting with the upstairs, organizing and putting things away, moving things around. She made up beds and rearranged clothes in her closet. She reorganized the linen closet and cabinets in the bathroom. She carried clothes downstairs and started laundry, then started on the main floor.

Staying busy took her mind off the contractions, although some felt a little sharper. _Maybe I'm overdoing it._ She was in the kitchen when Chip came in with Yoby. "Hey," she said, with a smile.

He smiled back and gave her a kiss. He nodded towards Yoby. "He's wiped out. I'm gonna put him down for a nap."

"Okay." She watched him round the corner to take Yoby upstairs and then felt a sharp contraction. She breathed in and out several times and it subsided. This one had felt a little different, but it was too early, so she breathed in deeply and then let it out, letting the anxiety go as well.

Chip came back in the kitchen and, putting his arm around her, gave her a more proper kiss. "You were kinda restless last night," he said.

"Yeah." She rubbed the top of her belly, where she again felt the baby's feet. "I guess you can't win with a baby's feet," she said. "They're right here" – she rubbed again – "and I wish it would stop." Just then another contraction hit and this one didn't feel like the rest, was sharper and seemed to take her breath away. The pain slowly subsided.

Chip looked worried. "Are you okay, baby?" She nodded, although she was surprised at the intensity. He seemed to hesitate before speaking again. "Are you sure these aren't real?" he asked.

She frowned. "Of course they're real, Chip. But they're just practice, right? Isn't that what you keep reminding me?"

"Yeah, but that looked painful, Connie."

She sighed with annoyance. "I don't get it. You're the one who keeps telling me that this isn't the real thing and not to get all panicky about it. But now you've got this frowny expression when I could really use that same reminder instead. I need to you to _help_ me, which you usually do." She could see the tic in his cheek as if he was forcing himself not to respond. Then suddenly she felt something wet running down her legs. She gasped. "I think my water just broke," she whispered. Then she burst into tears.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: I have never had a baby so all of this comes from research. Hopefully I don't get too much wrong._

**Chip**

At first he couldn't do anything. Connie was moaning '_no'_ over and over, in between her tears. He felt panicked, like he couldn't move, couldn't react. It felt like a vise had wrapped around his chest. But she was still standing there, a puddle between her legs, and she needed him. He took a deep breath, willing himself to be calm, even though he was anything but. He went to her and took her hands. She looked into his face and he saw her fear. Her worst fears were coming true, he knew that. Truthfully, it was his worst fear too. He struggled to think clearly and logically.

He breathed in again. "Come here, baby," he said, finally, leading her gently away from where she was standing. He kissed her on the cheek. "Just stay right there for a second, okay?" She was still crying and her hands were shaking, but she nodded. He hurried to the laundry room, grateful there were towels sitting on top of the dryer. He grabbed several and ran back to the kitchen. She was still standing where he left her. He threw a couple towels over the puddle on the floor, then turned back to her.

Her eyes were wide open and she was still sniffling a little. "Make it stop," she said, her voice shaky and small.

He breathed in again, as the panic tried to rise back up. "I don't think I can, sweetie," he said. "But we'll get through it, okay?" Without waiting for her to respond, he kneeled down on the kitchen floor and used a towel to gently wipe down her legs. But her shorts and underwear were soaked through so he knew he needed to take care of that. He left the towel on the floor and stood up, taking her hands again. "Let's go upstairs, okay?" he prodded gently. "We can take these clothes off and get you into something dry, okay?"

She just looked at him for a moment, like she didn't understand what he was saying. Then she nodded. "Okay," she whispered.

He slowly led her upstairs and into their bedroom. They went in the bathroom and he lifted her feet first, one after the other, removing her sandals, then took off the wet shorts and underwear, dropping them in the laundry hamper. "How about taking a shower, baby?" he asked.

"I...what if I have the baby in there?" she asked.

He wanted to laugh, but controlled himself. "I think we're a long way from that, sweetie," he said. He hesitated. "Would it help if I stayed right here?" She still looked shellshocked, but she nodded. He smiled. "Okay. I'm gonna turn on the shower and then I'll be right here." He reached into the shower and turned on the water, waiting until it was the right temperature. Then he removed her t-shirt and bra and, taking her hand, helped her walk into the shower. She just stood there.

He hesitated. Yoby was taking a nap. Hadn't been down for long. And he was going to have to make arrangements for him, at some point. Then he decided to undress himself and get into the shower with her. When he did, he found her shaking. Not noticeable but he could tell she was terrified. He stood behind her and then reached around for the shower sponge. He squeezed some bath soap on it and gently ran it over her body, concentrating on her lower body so she would feel clean. When they got out, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then got another one and started drying her off. He reached for her robe, but she shook her head. "I need to be dressed," she said.

"Do you want me to help you?"

She looked at him, then shook her head. "I can do it." Her eyes filled with tears and she touched his cheek with her fingers. "Thank you for taking care of me."

He just wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay, but he didn't know what was going to happen, except for the fact that it appeared they would be having a baby soon. Much sooner than they had expected. He felt his throat close up and started to take deep breaths again. She walked towards the closet as though she were in a trance and he turned and dried off, then started getting dressed himself.

**Connie**

She slowly pulled on some clothes, feeling as though she was in a dream. She hadn't had another contraction since the one right before her water broke and she was hoping maybe that was the end of it. A false alarm. Chip appeared at her side then, his face filled with worry. "You wanna lay down?" he asked.

She thought about that, then nodded. "Yeah, I think so." He led her over to the bed and she sat on the edge. He picked up her legs and lifted them onto the bed and she sat back against the pillows. She put her hands on her stomach. "It's too soon," she whispered. She looked back at him. He looked so worried, but he'd been so gentle and loving with her. Thinking about that made the tears well up in her eyes again.

He leaned down, taking her face in his hands, and kissed her on the forehead. "It's gonna be okay, baby," he said.

She shook her head. "You don't know that," she said. "It's too early, Chip. Seven weeks. We don't know what could happen. It's just too soon."

He sat down on the bed beside her. "Baby, you don't know that there'll be something wrong. The doctor told us every time we've seen her that everything is fine. Why would something change now?" She knew he was trying to be supportive and encouraging because he knew she was scared, but he wasn't the one carrying this baby.

"I think you just don't know how _I_ feel, Chip," she said, trying to stop crying. "_I'm_ the one who's carried this baby in my body. _I'm_ the person this baby is closest to and I know what I feel."

He seemed to stiffen for a moment, but then he looked at her face and he took her hands and squeezed them. "I'm scared too, Connie," he said. 'I'm just trying to be strong for you and take away some of the worry." She saw tears in his eyes then. "I want us to have this baby and have he or she be part of our family. This means everything to me too."

She put her hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know you're scared too." She sucked in her breath then as she felt another contraction start. It had been a long time since she'd had cramps, but this felt worse than she remembered cramps feeling. She tried to breathe, but they hadn't even been to one childbirth class, and she had no idea what she should be doing. It seemed to go on and on and she couldn't help but moan. _This hurts. It hurts and I want it to stop. I don't want to have this baby today._ He was holding her hands and she clenched them tightly until she felt the pain start to wind down. She breathed out slowly as she felt her whole body start to ease up. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her and she wrapped her hands around his wrists as she leaned towards him.

He rubbed his thumbs over her cheeks and looked intently into her eyes. "If I remember right, we need to start timing these."

Her eyes flew open. "We don't need to go to the hospital right away?"

He shook his head. "Not unless we want to wait there for hours."

"But the baby's early. Don't you think they'd want to keep an eye on everything? What if everything suddenly gets worse?" Her heart was beating hard and she was feeling a sense of panic.

"Hey, hey," he said, bringing his face closer to hers. "Would it help if I call Dr. Hamilton?" She nodded. "Let me do that then, okay?" She nodded again. Then he stood up and went downstairs to retrieve his phone.

**Chip**

She seemed to be a little less frantic after they'd talked to Dr. Hamilton. He'd put her on speaker so Connie could describe everything. As she did so, he thought she sounded amazingly calm, even though he knew she was not. The doctor told them to time the contractions and when to head for the hospital. She also asked about a pediatrician.

Connie looked a little surprised as she looked up at him. "We were supposed to meet her this week, I think," she said. "We would need her there?"

"I think it would be a good idea," Dr. Hamilton said. He swallowed hard, wondering if that was as ominous sounding as it seemed.

"Okay then, we'll call her." she paused. "Do we need to be worried?"

"I don't think so. The baby is earlier than we'd like, but there's no reason to believe you won't deliver a healthy baby. And having the pediatrician there is normal. That's who will be responsible for your baby. So don't worry. Just time those contractions and try to relax." He breathed a silent sigh of relief. _...having the pediatrician there is normal._

When they hung up, he tried to smile encouragingly at her. "See? It'll be okay. Everything will be fine," he said.

She frowned a little. "Well, that's not exactly what she said. But I guess I have to believe that everything's going to be fine. I'm just really nervous."

He took her hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. "We've got a while, I'm guessing, before we need to go, so are there things you want to do?"

She shook her head and tried to smile, but ended up crying. "We're not ready, Chip," she cried. "We don't have anything except Yoby's crib. We don't even have something to bring the baby home in."

He put his arms around her, rubbing her back. "It's okay, baby. We can get something." He kissed her forehead, thinking she felt a little feverish. "It's gonna be okay. I'm right here."

She pulled back and looked at him. "What would I do without you?" she asked. "Thank you for being here."

He chuckled and kissed her forehead again. "Where else would I be, baby? We're gonna get through this." She put her head on his shoulder and he rubbed her back some more. He closed his eyes, not wanting to let her know that he was a little scared too. He'd only felt this worried when Addie was sick. It wasn't the same, but the feelings of helplessness were. He just prayed everything would be okay.

**Connie**

They were finally on the way to the hospital. It was almost three in the morning. Labor had been slow at first and she had luckily been able to get a little rest. Yoby was staying at Jessie and Nathan's and she had gotten a burst of energy in the early evening and finished reorganizing everything, having to contend with Chip trying to make her sit down or lay down. She washed the towels on the kitchen floor, which made her think back to the moment she had realized she wasn't having 'practice' contractions anymore.

_When she went upstairs to pack a bag to take to the hospital, she felt overwhelmed. She had tried to be positive and think the best, like Chip wanted her to, but all she could think about was that it wasn't going the way it was supposed to. She was having this baby too early and all she could think about were all the things that could go wrong. She sat down on a chair she had dragged into the closet the previous day, a nightgown in her hands, and started to cry again. Not sobs, but tears rolling down her face. She had tried so hard to do all the right things._

"_Connie?" She heard Chip's voice in the bedroom._

"_I'm in here," she called out, hearing the shakiness in her voice._

_He came around the corner and stopped. "What's wrong, baby?"_

_She shook her head and then began crying harder. He was suddenly kneeling on the floor right next to her. "I'm so sorry," she said, looking into his worried eyes._

_He looked confused. "Why are you sorry?"_

"_I don't know. There must be something wrong with me that the baby's coming early."_

"_Are you serious? What could you have done?"_

_She shrugged. "I don't know," she said again. Then she frowned. "What if it was all the flying? All that travel."_

"_Dr. Morris said it was okay."_

"_But what if she was wrong? We probably should have come back earlier, Chip. That was what I thought all along."_

_He stood up then, frowning. "So you're blaming me?"_

_She let out a frustrated sigh. "No, I'm __not__ blaming you!"_

"_You didn't want to go to the beach. So now you have a reason why I was wrong to want to go."_

_She gasped. "I didn't say that," she said angrily. "I was just thinking it might not have been a good idea after all. To travel period. I mean, we don't know anything, Chip!" She couldn't believe she was getting ready to have their baby and he had picked a fight with her. she looked up at him. "Why do you think everything has to do with you? I'm trying to do all of this right and it's all going wrong and you're not even listening to me! I'm scared and you're just, just fighting with me!" She gasped again, this time as a contraction started to build. She was holding her breath and she knew that wasn't right, so she tried to breathe, sliding down off the chair onto her knees. She held her belly as the pain seemed to rise to a peak and the pressure she felt in her lower abdomen left her breathless. As the contraction eased, she breathed in and out, then slid back onto her heels, feeling shaky._

_Chip got down on his knees again and took her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm not fighting with you. I don't want to fight with you." She saw tears in his eyes and one rolled down his cheek. "I'm scared too, Connie. For you __and__ this baby."_

_She looked at him. She needed him to support her and help her get through this and whatever else that meant. She didn't want to fight either. She breathed in deeply. "So how many minutes was that?"_

_He pulled out his phone and looked at the time. "Probably about 8 minutes." He smiled. "Not long before it's showtime."_

He reached across the console and took her hand. She looked over at him. "You doing okay?"

She nodded, then shook her head. "This is hard. And it hurts. But I want to be brave. And positive."

He glanced at her. "Connie..."

"I'm serious, Chip. I don't want to think the worst. I know that's the worst thing I could do. But I want to keep this baby inside a little longer. And I feel like I'm..."

He squeezed her hand and she stopped talking. "Connie, I know you think I'm not worried enough or scared enough, or _something_. It's not that. At all. But I _have_ to be positive. I can't let myself think the worst." He cleared his throat. "When Addie was sick, even though they told us she had an 85% chance of surviving it, all I could do at first was think about the 15%. But I realized that wasn't helping and it was only making me feel helpless. So I always focus on the 85%."

She gave him an apologetic smile. "It's one of the things I love about you," she said. Then she felt the beginnings of another contraction and let go of his hand, fighting not to scream, trying to breathe, feeling overwhelmed with the pain of it. And when it was finally over, she realized they were at the hospital and she promised herself she'd put all her positive energy towards bringing this baby that she'd been looking forward to for months, safely into the world.

**Chip**

He didn't remember having felt quite as nervous as he did this time. He supposed there were lots of reasons for that. She was older, he was older. She was anxious, had been the whole time, for this part. The fact that it was almost two months earlier than either had expected meant that her anxiety had grown exponentially. He wanted to be her rock, but he also felt himself get more agitated as time went on because he and Patty were younger and everything had gone more smoothly. He felt like he was running frantically in the house, trying to get everything together. Trying to keep her calm, although he doubted he was doing a good job at that.

He finally got her to sit back down on the bed, wanting her to relax. He'd always thought of her as being in control, not rattled easily by things. But being pregnant had gotten her rattled. He knew his job now was to keep her calm and focused, soothe her. He rubbed her legs and feet with lotion, taking his time. The contractions weren't that close together initially and she had lots of time in between to get her breathing under control and prepare.

The exertion of all the laundry and putting things away and organizing closets and drawers had taken a lot out of her, so he was glad she was willing to sit in bed. For an hour or so she would doze between contractions. He sat next to her, an arm around her, as she rested her head on his shoulder. He held her hand while a contraction was hitting her. _We're a team. We're gonna get through this together._ He kissed the side of her face and she gave him a tired smile.

"Have you thought about whether you want a boy or a girl?" she asked.

He shook his head. He hadn't thought about it much. He had both already. "Not really. Healthy is good enough for me."

She smiled up at him. "I think I'd like it to be a girl," she said.

He smiled back. "Then that's what I want too." He kissed her cheek. "I want you to have exactly what you want." He took her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. He sighed, then laughed a little. "I didn't even know you a year ago. And now look where we are. Waiting together for our daughter, or son. Making something special together."

She put her other hand on his arm and leaned against him. "I'm glad we're doing this together."

* * *

When they got to the hospital, everything seemed to speed up. He had to leave her to go park and she looked anxious. She was sitting in a wheelchair and he kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in his. "I'll be right back, okay?" He smiled encouragingly at her. "Don't have this baby before I get there."

Her eyes widened. "It won't be that fast, will it?" she asked, holding tight to his hands.

He shook his head. "No, of course not. I'll be up there before you know it, okay?" She nodded. He stood up, then leaned over and kissed her. "I'll be right by your side, holding your hand, and it'll all be good." He kissed her again, then stood watching as the ER nurse wheeled her away. He felt tears in his eyes, then got back in the car and headed for the parking deck.

* * *

It seemed like it took forever to find a place to park. He was pretty sure he'd used every curse word he knew, multiple times, and in phrases and sentences. When he finally found one, he dashed to the elevator, only to have to wait on that as well. More cursing, loudly and angrily, as he kicked his foot against the cement wall by the elevator. When he finally got to the ground floor, he ran across the road to the ER. He was directed towards the maternity floor and then took another slow elevator to the floor. He ran up to the main desk and almost laughed out loud when he saw no one there. _What the goddamn fuck?!_

He walked part way down the hall, looking for someone, then back in the other direction. When he passed the desk, he saw someone walk into the pod and walked up to the counter.

"Yes, sir, can I help you?"

"I'm looking for my...um, Connie Britton. She was on her way up here?" He'd almost said 'my wife' but caught himself. He couldn't think of what to call her – girlfriend sounded juvenile – so he just awkwardly said her name. Something about that needed to change as soon as it was possible.

He watched as she checked. "She's right down that hall" – the woman behind the desk said – "in room 425."

He smiled and raised his hand. "Thanks." Then he jogged down the hall until he found the right room. She was standing beside the bed, her arms folded over a couple of pillows and her head down. He felt a sense of panic. "Connie?"

She looked up. "Oh, thank God you're here," she said. She looked exhausted.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he walked up beside her.

She stood up and nodded, then shook her head. "It hurts," she cried.

He felt relieved and smiled. "I think it's supposed to."

She looked at him, her eyes rimmed in red. "I'm gonna do the epidural. I have to." That had been a discussion point earlier in her pregnancy, when she was reading everything she could about pregnancy and birth. She'd gone back and forth about having one and then had decided not to. Obviously she'd changed her mind.

"Whatever you want," he said. He looked around the room. "No one's here?" he asked, with a frown.

She shook her head. "The nurse went to get ice chips. Dr. Hamilton's almost here." She turned towards him. "I'm so glad you're here."

He leaned in and kissed her. "It took forever to find a place to park. That deck was almost full."

Suddenly her hands gripped his arms. She started panting heavily and he could tell another contraction was building up inside her. Her hair was pulled back off her face and her face was bright pink. She was sweaty and tears were rolling down her face. "Sweetie, you're doing great," he murmured.

She whimpered a little and her hands tightened around his arms, which he knew meant she was trying to will away the contraction. "It's too soon," she wailed. "I don't want the baby to come now."

"I think it is anyway. Babies are like that, doing things you don't want 'em to do." He smiled at her, trying to help lift her spirits.

She frowned. "Babies need to do what their mamas tell them to," she said, gritting her teeth. Then she started to cry again. "I'm so afraid, Chip." She looked up at him with fear and panic in her face and eyes. He wished he could make it all stop, but Dr. Hamilton had told him it was too late for that.

"But you're doing great, baby," he said, trying to encourage her and also to keep the concern out of his voice. He couldn't help but be nervous, even though the doctor had told him everything should be fine. _Should. Does that mean it might not? If something happens to this baby, I think Connie's gonna lose it. And I probably will too._ She started to press down on his arms and pant and he knew she was having another contraction. They were getting much closer together, which he knew meant it probably wouldn't be long now until the baby was born. His heart started thudding in his chest. "Come on, baby, you can do this," he coached her. "Keep breathing, just like that." He kept watching her. He wanted her to sit down or something, but she said standing made it hurt less, although it didn't look to him like that meant much.

She let her breath out in a whoosh and looked up at him. "What if…."

He shook his head and shushed her. "Don't think worst case scenarios, Connie. This baby is coming and it's coming now, and we're just going to do everything we can to make sure it's all okay. Please just think positive. Don't believe anything other than our child will be happy and healthy and then we'll love him or her forever."

She gave him a shaky smile. "What would I do without you?" she said. She kept saying things like that and he felt pressure to live up to it. It was all he wanted to do, but that meant making sure his own anxiety didn't surface.

Just then Dr. Hamilton burst into the room, a smile on her face. "So, you two ready to be parents?" she asked.

"I don't think we have a choice, do we?" he asked, trying to smile.

Dr. Hamilton shook her head. "No, you really don't." She turned towards Connie. "So let's get you up on the bed so I can do an exam and see where we are, shall we?"

As pink as Connie's face had been, it looked to him like it had turned white. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out, so she just nodded. He helped her get on the bed and then stood back behind her as a nurse who'd just entered the room got her set up. Connie looked back at him and he took her hand and held it firmly.

**Connie**

She nearly cried when Dr. Hamilton told her she was dilated enough for an epidural. Actually, if she was honest about it, she _did_ cry. But she'd been crying a lot over the last several hours. She felt like a baby, unable to tolerate pain, but it had been the worst pain she could ever remember in her life. She had thought she could do this without an epidural, but when the pain actually started, she knew she couldn't. But she also didn't want to do anything to hurt the baby. The pain was so intense though. So when Dr. Hamilton asked if she wanted to get the epidural, she said _'yes please'_.

She felt a slight prick when the epidural went in. What she felt more was Chip's strong, warm hand, so familiar to her, so often giving her strength as he was now. He helped her back into the bed and helped her get comfortable. She felt the pain ease and she felt his lips on her cheek and she heard his words of encouragement. As the pain continued to fade away, she felt more like herself. All she had to do now was wait for her baby to be born.

**Chip**

She turned to him, almost in a panic. "We don't have anything for the baby to wear home," she said.

He smiled. "It's okay. We'll figure something out before the time comes." He kissed her. "Don't worry about that kind of stuff. Just concentrate on _having_ the baby first." He held her hand and leaned into her ear and whispered, "You're doing great, baby."

The epidural had seemed to relax her a bit at first. The contractions were coming faster, though, and she was getting more agitated. All she felt was pressure, she told him, but all of her other fears about the baby coming so early were making it so she couldn't stay calm. Dr. Hamilton was examining her again and she squeezed his hand hard with the discomfort. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back and he could see the tears dotting her eyelashes.

The doctor stood up, pulling off her glove, and then patted Connie's knee. She opened her eyes then. "Connie, we're just about there, so in a few minutes I'm going to ask you to start pushing." Connie bit her bottom lip. Dr. Hamilton smiled encouragingly. "Connie, the baby's heartbeat is good. There are no signs of distress. I don't want you to worry." Connie nodded and then looked up at him.

"It's good, baby," he murmured. "It's gonna be good." The activity in the room started to increase. He took her hand, trying to silently encourage her. He leaned close to her ear. "Just breathe, sweetie. Remember to breathe." She looked at him and nodded, then tried to breathe the way she'd been told. A NICU nurse had arrived, with the incubator, which he could tell was ratcheting up her anxiety. But it was time for the baby to arrive, so she didn't have much opportunity to panic about it.

"Okay, Connie," Dr. Hamilton said as she sat down at Connie's feet. "In just a minute I'm going to tell you to push. You shouldn't feel pain, but you'll feel pressure. I'll get you through it though. Even if you want to push, don't unless I tell you to." She looked over at him and smiled. "And Chip, I just need you to encourage her like you've been doing. It'll be just a few minutes and you'll finally get to see your baby."

He squeezed Connie's hand and smiled at her. "This is it, sweetie. You're gonna do great." He kissed her cheek. "You're amazing." She smiled back at him before turning her attention back to Dr. Hamilton, who told her she could start pushing, talking her through it. He stood beside her, one arm around her back, one hand holding hers. As he watched her, he was so proud. As scared as he knew she was, she was strong. She was a fighter and he knew she was fighting hard for their baby. The doctor told her to push one more time and suddenly there she was.

Dr. Hamilton looked up with a smile. "It's a girl!" she announced and then he and Connie were both crying and laughing at the same time. The nurse took the baby, loosened up Connie's gown and laid her on her chest. Her little cries faded as she looked into her mother's eyes for the first time.

The nurse patted the baby's back and then laid a small blanket over her. "Just hold her against your chest. That will help her feel warm and comforted."

Connie smiled and then moved the baby up on her chest. She touched her face gently. She needed to be cleaned up but he thought she was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. Connie looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Our daughter," she said softly and he nodded, too overcome to speak. "She's so tiny though." She looked around the room, worry on her face, as she put her hand on the baby's back.

She _was_ tiny, he noticed. Much smaller than he remembered Taylor, Chase and Addie being. He put his hand over hers and she looked up at him. "I'm sure it's because she's early," he said. He smiled, trying to encourage her. She looked skeptical, then looked back down at the baby, rubbing her hand over her back.

He breathed in deeply, wondering what would happen next.

**Connie**

When the nurse brought the baby to her, all she could think about at first was that she was perfect. She smiled, even though her eyes were filled with tears. "Hey there, baby girl," she whispered. "I'm so glad to finally meet you." The baby moved her head a little and looked up. She had beautiful blue eyes and tiny tufts of hair on her head. She took her little hand and counted her fingers. Feeling the tiny being laying on her chest filled her heart with love.

As she ran her hand over the baby's back, she felt small. Not that she had expected her to be Yoby's size, because he'd been much older when he came to her. But this one felt light as a feather. She looked up and around the room. "She's so tiny though," she said, suddenly feeling a little worried.

One of the nurses came to stand next to her. "Why don't you let me take her to get cleaned up and we'll check her out?" She was afraid to let her go, but she knew they needed to look her over, so she nodded. The nurse picked her up, then smiled. "What's her name?"

They had talked about it at the beach and she still felt good about their choice. "Ryleigh," she said, glancing up at Chip. He smiled and nodded.

The nurse cradled the baby in her arms. "Let's see what's what about you, Miss Ryleigh," she said, walking over to where the pediatrician and NICU nurse were standing. As the nurse handed the baby over, she started to feel a little anxious. After a few minutes, the NICU nurse took Ryleigh and placed her in the NICU incubator.

She could see them start to put things on her and she tried to sit up, feeling concerned and worried. "Is she okay?" she asked. She could feel her voice rise and Chip put his hand on her shoulder, which felt comforting, but she was still worried. "Is something wrong?" she asked a little louder.

The pediatrician came over then and took her hand. "I'm Dr. Wilson," she said. She shook Chip's hand. She looked back and forth between the two of them. "I'm sorry we didn't get to meet before now, but I'm going to take good care of your little one." She looked all business-like then. "Ryleigh is small, which isn't unexpected, but about 4 ½ pounds, which is less than we'd like to see, especially since babies can lose a little weight at first. Her breathing is a little shallow, so we'll put a nasal canula in just to provide a little extra assistance. We're going to keep an eye on her body temperature and we'll set up a feeding tube. I'd like you to come by later and we'll see how she does with breastfeeding. I'm hoping she'll take to it, but if not, we'll keep the feeding tube and then hopefully be able to use your breast milk."

She felt like she couldn't breathe. Chip seemed to sense it and rubbed her back. "Um, how long will she need to be in there?" he asked, and she heard the small tremor in his voice.

"Probably for the next few days at least, until we can see what support she still needs. What we're looking for is for her to hold her body temperature, gain some weight, and that she's breathing comfortably." She looked from one to the other again. "She's not sick, just undersized. Most of this is a precaution, but until we're comfortable with her weight gain, and that's she's able to breastfeed, and her breathing is strong, she'll stay here."

"Will I be able to see her?" she asked, grabbing Chip's hand.

Dr. Wilson smiled. "Oh, of course. I think you should rest a little bit first and then we can take you to see her later today. And you can see her as often as you like. In fact, I want you to. I want you to hold her, just like you did after she was born. She needs to feel your touch and the warmth of your skin next to hers." She looked back at the incubator. "Do you want to see her before we take her to the NICU?"

She nodded. "Yes." Then she turned back to look at Chip. "Come over here." He nodded, but she thought she saw something in his eyes, something she couldn't quite name. "You okay?"

He smiled. "Yeah, 'course I am." He shrugged. "Just kind of a long day and all this...with her. You know."

She still felt like something was going on with him, but the NICU nurse was bringing Ryleigh over and she didn't want to miss that. When the incubator was next to the bed, she sat up and leaned over, wincing just a little, sliding her hand through the opening, letting her finger trail down her daughter's tiny arm. She was glad to see her react, her tiny arms and legs twitching. Then she watched Chip walk to the other side of the unit and do the same. He leaned down and softly said, "Be strong, baby girl."

**Chip**

He stood to the side and watched as his daughter was taken out of the delivery room. His chest hurt and his heart hurt. He wasn't exactly sure what to feel. He was scared but also relieved she was here and that there was nothing seriously wrong with her. He knew it would be hard on Connie anyway and he knew he needed to be strong for her. He closed his eyes for a second and breathed in.

"Chip?" Her voice sounded small and a little scared and he turned towards her. He could see she was looking to him to shore her up and he reached for her hand. Then he leaned down and brushed his lips over hers.

"She's beautiful, mama," he said with a smile. "And you did great." He could see the tears welling up in her eyes. "She'll be okay, baby. She will."

"You should go rest, Connie." They both looked at Dr. Hamilton. "You're going to need your strength. Ryleigh's going to need you, both of you." She glanced at him. "Congratulations to both of you. She's a beautiful baby." She patted Connie's ankle. "I'll come by to see you later, but I want you to get some sleep first." Then they watched as the doctor briskly walked out of the room.

"You ready to go to your room?" one of the nurses asked. Connie nodded and the nurse turned the bed and headed out, as he followed behind.

**Connie**

She mostly held her emotions inside as they headed for her room. She couldn't stop the tears completely, but she was determined not to break down. She kept rubbing the tears off her cheeks as she thought about how she should have been going to her room with her baby in her arms, instead of watching her go to the NICU. Her heart hurt thinking about how much tinier she looked than she had when she'd been born, lying in that clear incubator, with tubes and wires around her, with only a tiny diaper on. A tiny sob escaped as she thought about her baby, her Ryleigh, all alone, without her or Chip.

When they arrived at her room and the bed was set up, she looked up at the nurse. "So she can't be here with me?"

The nurse was a motherly looking woman, with a kind face and soft hands. She shook her head sadly. "She'll need to be in the NICU, but you'll be able to see her there, as much as you want."

She sighed. "It's not the same though."

Then nurse patted her hand. "I know, but there will be people with her around the clock, watching over her." She smiled. "They're checking her out right now and making sure she's set up with what she needs. When you wake up they'll be done with all that and then they'll have her ready so both of you can see her and spend some time with her."

She didn't really want to wait. Ryleigh wasn't even an hour old yet and they were apart. Tears filled her eyes again and her throat hurt, along with her heart. She heard the nurse tell Chip to just let them know when they were ready to go see the baby. _Being rested is the best thing she can do for your baby right now._ She watched him as he walked behind the nurse and shut the door. When he came back and sat on the bed beside her, she tried to sit up and get off the bed. "I want to see her _now_, Chip," she said. "I need to hold my baby. She needs me."

He stopped her. "You need to rest. You've hardly slept since yesterday morning." He took her hands and smiled at her encouragingly. "She'll be okay. I want you to get some sleep and then we can go see her together."

She started to cry. "This isn't how it's supposed to be," she cried. "She should still be inside me, getting stronger, before she's in the world." She tried to pull her hands back, but he held on. "I need to hold her, Chip. She needs me. She needs her mama."

"I know, sweetie, but we need to do what..."

She knew he was trying to help and be supportive, but she was frustrated. She shook her head. "I want to see my baby. I _need_ to see her. Now." She could hear the sharpness in her voice and she saw him clench his jaw.

He took a minute, then breathed in slowly. "Baby, you're exhausted. I can see it in your eyes."

The nurse hustled in again, smiling apologetically and leaving a pitcher of water and cups on the tray table. After the nurse left, she looked up at Chip. He looked tired too. It had been just as long a night for him and she didn't think he'd ever slept, even while she dozed. "I'm scared for her," she said.

He raised his eyebrows and gestured behind him. "You mean the nurse? I am too, with her having to handle you." She made a face, but she appreciated him trying to lighten the mood. He reached out and smoothed her hair and then let his hand drift over her cheek. He smiled. "We have our girl. Just what you wanted." He leaned in and kissed her. "I want you to rest now, okay?"

She smiled at him. "I will if you will. You look exhausted, babe." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "And then we'll go right to her."

He nodded. "We will." He kissed her again. "Thank you for her."

The tears were rolling down her face again. "Thank _you_." She smiled at him. "Now I have everything I've ever wanted in my life. My family."

He nodded and she could see tears in his eyes. She leaned back against the pillows and almost immediately fell asleep.

**Chip**

He watched her for several minutes. He was so proud of her. He knew labor had been hard and frightening both for her, but she'd done it. Yes, Ryleigh was in the NICU and that was scary, but she was here and it didn't seem like there were any issues that wouldn't prevent her from being able to come home soon. He knew he'd said he'd rest too and he knew he should probably wait for her, but he wanted to see the baby, be sure she really was okay. He looked at Connie again and was satisfied she was asleep. He turned and walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

* * *

When he walked into the NICU, it felt a little overwhelming. He had expected there to be lots of loud noise and warning sounds and people running frantically from one place to another, but it was actually none of those things. But there were a lot of those same incubators they'd taken Ryleigh away in. Parents standing or sitting beside ones with babies in them. There were voices but they were mostly low and quiet. And while there were sounds, it was mostly rhythmic beeping noises. There was a lot of activity, but nothing was frantic. He breathed in deeply.

The nurse outside the nursery had checked his wristband and then let him in. Another nurse had approached and checked the wristband again, then walked him to one of the incubators. As they approached he felt his chest tighten. The label on the incubator read 'Baby Britton/Esten' and he smiled a little to himself. He supposed that was on the wristbands too and obviously meant whoever checked them in knew who they were, but not that his last name was not actually Esten.

"She's sleeping right now," the nurse said quietly. "We're monitoring her respiration and body temp. We've got a feeding line in and are giving her some formula, but Mom should try feeding her when she comes in." He looked at the nurse and nodded. She smiled. "You can touch her if you like. Just slide your hand through the opening and rest it on her chest. Stroking her skin can a little alarming to these little babies, but putting your hand on her chest and her head will make her feel secure."

He nodded again. "Thanks," he said. He smiled a little sheepishly. "I know I should have waited for her mama, but she's sleeping too."

"No worries. You wouldn't be the first dad to want a sneak peek." She pulled a chair up then. "Why don't you sit here? It'll be easier and you can see her better. _And_ you can talk to her too."

He nodded and sat in the chair. For a few minutes he just watched the baby. He saw her chest rise and fall and occasionally her hand would move, almost like she was grasping for something. He put his index finger close to her hand and felt his heart seem to clench when she wrapped her tiny fingers around it. He felt the tears in his eyes and couldn't stop them from running down his cheeks. He put his other hand in and placed it gently on her chest. He could feel her heart beat and felt her chest rise and fall. She still just had the canula in her nose and he thought that was a positive.

He moved the chair a little closer. "Hey, Ryleigh," he whispered, choking a little on the words. "I'm your daddy. And I love you so much." He forgot and rubbed his thumb over her skin. She jerked a little and flailed her feet before settling back down. "I'm sorry, sweetie," he said softly. He smiled and felt a tear run down his cheek. "I can't wait for your mama to see you."


	16. Chapter 16

**Connie**

When she woke up she noticed the blinds were closed in the room, although she could tell it was sunny outside. She tried sitting up and winced a little. She was sore, so it appeared the epidural had worn off. She picked up her glasses from the tray table and put them on. When she looked at the clock, it was a little past 10:30 and she was surprised she'd slept so long. She looked over and saw Chip asleep on the chaise chair. She managed to get out of bed without making noise and walked over to her overnight bag. She rifled through it and pulled out the yoga pants and t-shirt she'd brought. She took off the hospital gown she still had on and pulled on the pants and shirt.

She was surprised, when she looked in the mirror, how pregnant she still looked. She knew, from what friends had told her, that she wouldn't have a flat stomach, but it almost looked like nothing had changed. She glanced over at Chip and saw that he was still sleeping soundly. She really wanted to go see the baby, but she also wanted him to get some sleep. He'd been awake, she knew, the entire time she was in labor and he deserved the rest. She put on some slippers, took her hair down and brushed it, then put it back up in a ponytail, and slipped on her robe. Then she quietly made her way out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.

* * *

The maternity floor nurse handed her off to the NICU nurse, who led her to Ryleigh, who was asleep. She pointed at the label that read 'Baby Britton/Esten'. "It's actually Puskar," she said, with a smile.

"We can change it," the nurse said. Then she walked her through everything that was going on with the baby and indicated the chair next to the incubator.

Before she sat, she bit her lip for a second. "When can I hold her?" she asked.

The nurse smiled. "Now, if you like."

She nodded. "Yes, that would be wonderful." She watched as the nurse reached in and, carefully navigating the wires and tubes, brought the tiny infant out and placed her in her arms. Her heart was full as she held her daughter and then the nurse helped her sit in the chair.

"If you can, you should put her on your bare chest, close to your breasts." She somewhat self-consciously lifted and pulled back her shirt, but she realized nurses probably saw a new mom's swollen breasts all the time. The nurse laid a blanket over them so both she and the baby were covered, and she appreciated that.

Feeling her baby's skin against hers brought tears to her eyes. She was still feeling all the hormonal emotions she'd had while she was pregnant, but she felt happy she could hold Ryleigh, even though she was so tiny. She gently put her hand over Ryleigh's back. The nurse suggested she position the baby where she could try to nurse. "Do you think she will?" she asked.

"That's what we want to see. If she doesn't, though, it's okay. You can pump and we can give her your breast milk, which is really what's the best for her. That's one of the things we'll be looking to see, though, that she can latch on and nurse."

She nodded. "Okay. We'll try." She just wanted to hold her first. It was one of the best feelings she'd ever had, she'd decided, holding this tiny being she and Chip had created together. That made her think about him. She looked at the nurse. "I feel bad I didn't wait for Chip. But I was really anxious to see her."

The nurse smiled. "No worries. He was actually down here earlier."

That surprised her. "He was?"

The nurse nodded. "He said you were asleep and he wanted to let _you_ sleep."

She smiled. That was so like him. He had taken such good care of her. "Did he hold her?"

"No, he just gave her a hand hug. A hand on her head and one on her chest. And I saw him talking to her." She smiled. "The next time he comes we'll let him hold her too." She paused. "I'm going to give you some time to get acquainted with Ryleigh."

She nodded her thanks, then focused back on her baby. She was moving her arms and legs just a little and she leaned down to kiss the top of her head very gently. She could feel the tears on her face. "I'm your mama, little one. And I love you so much. Your daddy and I both do, even before you were born. We're going to love you and take care of you the rest of your life." As she held her, with both hands, against her chest she felt a deep, instinctual love for her daughter that was greater than anything she'd ever experienced before. "I loved you before I ever knew you, did you know that? Every little flutter or kick or movement inside my body, I loved you." She pressed her lips on the top of her head again. "Be strong, little one. Fight hard." She leaned her head down as the tears ran down her cheeks. Tears of joy, tears of worry, but most of all, tears of love, for the little girl she held so close.

**Chip**

He loved watching her. He'd always loved watching her. In the very beginning it was the way she so effortlessly carried a scene or the look on her face as she seemed to tell him with her eyes and expressions what to do next. He'd loved watching her face the very first time he made love to her and he loved watching every single time she had an orgasm. He loved watching her across the room, when they were first together, knowing she was his.

As their love for each other grew, he loved watching how that changed her. At first it was watching her in a scene or being in the scene with her, their delicious secrets binding them together, knowing he was the man who made love to her at night in her bedroom or in her trailer or in a hotel room, as they gave themselves fully to each other. And then he loved watching when the softly rounded, barely visible swell of her belly concealed the best secret of all, that she carried their baby inside her.

He loved watching her as the days and weeks and months went by, her body seeming to change nearly every day. She was beautiful pregnant, lush and sexy, every time they made love just drawing them closer together.

As he stood watching her through the glass, sitting where he had sat, holding their daughter, he felt the most love he ever had for her. Everything she'd gone through, to bring this baby into the world, made him proud of her. Every one of his children were special, but perhaps this one most of all. They had created her and Connie had carried her and protected her until Ryleigh had decided it was time to be born. Watching her hold the child she thought she'd never give birth to was something special to watch.

All he wanted now was for that baby she held in her arms to get stronger and be able to come home to them soon. He felt an ache in his throat and his heart and he turned and walked back the way he had come.

**Connie**

She was gone longer than she'd meant to be, but she hadn't wanted to stop holding her daughter. One of the nurses had talked her through testing whether Ryleigh was ready to nurse, but all she had done was to fall asleep. She had felt inadequate but the nurse had reminded her it wasn't unusual with a baby who'd come as early as she had. And again she wondered if there was something she had done wrong.

She let the nurse take Ryleigh and then carefully settle her back in the incubator and had watched as the nurse demonstrated the hand hug. Then it was her turn to try. She placed one hand on the baby's chest and cradled her head with the other hand. She felt Ryleigh's little chest rise and fall and felt the fuzz on her head. She'd been told Ryleigh would probably sleep a lot, that preemies often did. She wanted to see Chip, talk to him about his time with her, so she reluctantly left the NICU, after whispering her goodbyes to Ryleigh, promising to be back soon.

When she got back to the room, he was sitting on the chaise, his eyes closed. She walked over and put a hand on his arm and his eyes opened. He smiled and reached for her hand, pulling her down to sit next to him. "Hey there, mama," he said, giving her a kiss.

She wrapped her arms around his arm, leaning her head against his shoulder. "She's so precious," she said.

"Yes, she is," he said. He put his finger under her chin and turned her head to face him. "You look tired."

She smiled. "I guess I am. Having a baby is kind of exhausting." She sighed and leaned her head back on his shoulder. "I heard you went earlier to see her."

He nodded. "I did. I guess I wasn't ready to go to sleep just then. I was so wired. I just wanted to see how she was doing."

"I spent a lot of time with her. I just hope she doesn't have to stay long."

"Me too."

**Chip**

He could tell it was just starting to get dark outside. It had been a long day. A long day that had started almost 48 hours earlier. 48 hours earlier, if he remembered right, she had felt uncomfortable. They'd had a pleasant, even fun, day searching for the furniture they still needed for the nursery. She'd been in a happy mood and that had carried over until early evening, when it looked about like it did right then. And then her back hurt and she couldn't get comfortable. She'd been restless all night and then, the next day she'd gone into labor. And now they had a baby. A pretty little baby girl. Except she was sleeping in the NICU and they didn't know when she would be able to come home with them.

_When he had woken up and had seen that Connie wasn't in the room, he'd called his mom. He had let her know they were going to the hospital, so he knew she was waiting to hear the news. He waited for her to answer and when she did, she excitedly asked, "Is the baby here?"_

_He smiled, still feeling tired. "Yeah, she is."_

"_She? It's a girl?"_

_He chuckled. "Yes, a girl. A beautiful little girl." His emotions got the better of him then and he heard his voice seemed to crack._

"_Chip?" his mom sounded concerned. "Is everything alright?"_

_Tears had filled his eyes then. "Mostly, but, you know, she was early. 7 weeks early. She doesn't even quite weigh 3 ½ pounds." He sighed, feeling a heaviness in his chest. "She's in the NICU, Mom."_

"_Oh, Chip. How long do you think she'll be there?"_

_He breathed in and wiped his face, then tried to smile. "We don't know yet. They're telling us maybe not long, but it depends, really, on when she can breastfeed. And gain some weight."_

_His mom was quiet on the other end. "How's Connie?"_

"_Well, she was scared and worried and really still is, but she's so strong, Mom. I know she'll be okay." She would. Maybe not right away, but she would._

"_What about you?"_

_He shrugged. "I don't know. I know I've gotta be there for her, be strong for her, but, well, you know I've been there before..."_

"_This isn't the same as Addie, son. And it doesn't sound like it isn't something the baby can't overcome. Oh, what's her name, by the way? I don't want to keep calling her 'the baby'."_

_He smiled. "Ryleigh." He realized that's all they'd discussed. He wasn't sure if she'd be a Britton or a Puskar or both, or if she'd have a middle name, although he supposed that was the least of their problems. Right now they just needed to get her stronger and be able to bring her home with them. "I'll send you a picture when we hang up."_

"_I'm so happy for you two. And I know Ryleigh will be fine. I feel it. Grandmother's intuition."_

_He laughed. "I'm counting on that."_

"_I'm going to want to come see her, but I'll wait until she's home." She paused. "What about Taylor, Chase and Addie?"_

"_I'll send a text and I guess we'll see."_

"_It'll all be good. Get some rest. Both of you. You're going to need it."_

"_We'll do that." When he disconnected, he sent her the picture he'd taken of Ryleigh in the NICU incubator. He hated that she had tubes and wires and monitors attached to her, but he was hopeful that wouldn't be for long. And then he sent the same picture to his kids, with the caption 'Ryleigh's here. Early so she's getting special attention, but she's gonna be okay'._

He suddenly realized Connie was leaning heavily against his shoulder and, when he looked at her, he realized she was asleep. He chuckled and she stirred. She looked at him. "Was I asleep?"

He grinned. "Yeah, I think you were." He kissed her forehead. "Let me get you into bed. You've had a really big day." She smirked at him, but let him pull her up.

**Connie**

As Chip led her to the bed, she thought about what he'd said. it really _had_ been a big day. Instead of having her baby in the room with them, though, Ryleigh was in the NICU. It still hadn't been even 12 hours since she'd been born. It wasn't what she'd expected, back all those months ago, when she'd found out she was pregnant. It had always been lurking – the idea that her status as a geriatric mom could cause problems – but she had hoped for the best. But Ryleigh was born at 33 weeks, weighed not quite 3 ½ pounds and everything about it frightened her.

The odds she would be perfectly normal were nearly a certainty, she'd been told, so close that it might as well have been 100%, but she knew she wouldn't truly relax until she was able to come home. When they reached the bed, she saw a small pink bag, decorated with 'It's A Girl!' in glitter, and a huge pink and white bow. "What's this?" she asked.

Chip reached for it. "A special gift from a special person," he said with a smile, setting it down on the tray table. He helped her get up on the bed. She was still sore, and would be for a while, so she winced as she let Chip get her settled. Then he handed her the bag and sat on the edge of the bed.

She looked inside first, then pulled out a stuffed unicorn. It was white, with a very light pink mane and tail, and a tiny gold horn on the top of its head. She smiled happily, then looked at Chip. "It's precious!" she exclaimed.

"It's from Yoby," he said. "Welcoming his baby sister to the world."

"He bought this?" she asked, in a teasing voice.

He nodded. "Oh, yes. With that allowance he got for putting his blocks away."

She laughed. "Well, it's very sweet. I hope they'll let her keep it with her." She set it down and looked up at him. "It's hard to believe this has really happened, you know?"

He breathed in and nodded, then leaned in and kissed her, letting his lips linger on hers. She noticed that his face was serious and his eyes were filled with emotion. "I want to marry you, Connie," he said.

She was surprised he was saying it now. His divorce wouldn't be final, at the earliest, until October. She knew she wanted the same thing, wanted them to build a family together, with Yoby and now Ryleigh, but they didn't need to rush things. They had a newborn who was not ready to come home. Work would be challenging. It didn't have to happen right then. "Chip," she said. "I'm not sure..."

He shook his head, cutting her off. "I know what you're gonna say, Connie. That I'm not divorced yet, so it's not even possible right now, but it _will_ be. And I want you to know it's really what I want. I'm committed to you. And Yoby. And Ryleigh."

She picked up the little unicorn and stared at it for a moment. Then she squeezed it against her chest and suddenly started crying. He reached for her, but she pushed his hands away. "I can't deal with that right now, Chip," she said, struggling to control the tears. "I can't even think about it until I know my baby is okay." She wiped her face. "I can't focus on anything but _her_." He huffed, then got up from the bed, walking across the room. He muttered something she couldn't quite catch. "What did you say?"

He turned back towards her, his face red. "I said, she's not just _your_ baby, Connie."

"That's not what I meant..."

He raised his eyebrows. "And yet you keep _saying_ it." He shook his head, then looked back at her, his eyes filled with sadness. "Look, I don't want us to fight about this and end up saying something we don't want to. I know this has been stressful, for both of us. I need to..." He ran his hands over his head and linked his hands behind his neck for a moment. He sighed, dropping his arms. "I need some air," he said, sounding weary. He turned and let himself out of the room.

"Chip!" she called after him, but she just watched the door close behind him.

The tears started again and she leaned back against the pillows, crying quietly. She turned onto her side and pulled her knees towards her chest, clutching the little stuffed toy. She didn't want to fight, but she felt like her entire focus needed to be on their daughter. There would be time for everything else later.

**Chip**

After he'd stormed out of the room and halfway down the hallway, he slowed down. He knew better. He knew how stressful it was when you had a sick child. Maybe Ryleigh wasn't sick the way Addie had been, but it was easier than one might expect to pull away from a partner, wrapped up in their own anxiety and worry and fear. He knew how real that was and he didn't want that to happen with them. Connie was on a rollercoaster of emotions, he knew that. Even if Ryleigh were full term and coming home with them, he knew she was anxious about a newborn. She was an amazing mom and he knew she'd be fine, but this was a Connie he'd not known before this. She was always calm and in control, not ruffled. But she was ruffled. Badly.

He stopped at the nurse's station. "Can you tell me how to find the chapel?" he asked.

The nurse smiled. "It's on the first floor. If you go down the elevator, walk through the lobby and it's just past there."

He smiled back. "Thanks." He hesitated, then headed for the elevator. He waited for it to arrive, thinking it had seemed so much slower when he had ridden up in the middle of the night. He sighed. Had it really been less than twenty-four hours earlier when they had come to the hospital? Ryleigh wasn't even a day old yet, but it felt like it had been a week already. He was exhausted, Connie was exhausted, they felt battered and bruised.

The elevator doors opened and he stepped inside, punching the button for the first floor. He needed to be her support, but he was struggling too. He felt like he was failing her, being pissy and stubborn with her. He looked down at his feet. He knew he probably shouldn't have brought up marriage, but he hadn't been able to stop himself. He knew she was wary of talking about it until he was truly free. But he loved her and he loved her even more now that Ryleigh had arrived. He wanted to be a family and he wanted to declare himself out loud to her. He couldn't help but feel a little sucker punched when she shut him down.

The doors opened on the elevator and he stepped out, looking one way and then the next. The lobby was to his left and he headed that way. He almost passed right by the door with the discreet lettering that read 'Rhea Chapel'. When he opened the door, he found a quiet place with a handful of pews on either side of a center aisle. The lights were dimmed, giving it a peaceful, hushed environment to spend a few quiet minutes.

After a moment, he walked slowly down the aisle and sat in the second pew from the front. There was a crucifix hanging in front of him and he looked up at it. He sat forward, his hands clasped in front of him as he rested them on the back of the front pew. He could feel tears gathering as he thought about his daughter. When she was born, he'd first noticed how small she was and it had scared him. When he saw her in the NICU, with all the wires and monitors around her, she seemed even smaller. Even though they had reassured him she wasn't sick, just needed some time to get stronger, seeing her lying there, her eyes shut, her tiny arms out to her side, he just wasn't at all sure that was really true.

He put his forehead down on his hands. _I don't know what I need to do to make this happen, but I need you to please make sure nothing happens to our beautiful Ryleigh. I don't know if Connie could survive it. We need to be able to bring her home, love her, raise her, watch her grow up._ He breathed in deeply, the ache in his heart threatening to push him down to his knees. He sat back, closing his eyes, just letting the calm and peace in the room wash over him.

It felt so overwhelming. He didn't want to fail Connie. He was every bit as worried as she was, but he knew she needed him to be strong, so that she could feel all the emotional pain and then find her balance. He didn't want to let her down. He felt the dampness of the tears on his face and he lowered his head, feeling his shoulders shaking as he cried silently, letting himself feel everything he didn't want to burden her with.

He had no idea how long he had been there, but he felt a hand on his arm, and he knew it was her. He looked up at her, seeing both compassion and understanding in her eyes.

**Connie**

She felt like she sometimes felt when she was doing a tricky scene or had to work late because they couldn't get it to work. Mentally exhausted and bone tired. She had felt that way when she had moved to Nashville before the first season, when she was still feeling her way as a mom and tackling a role that took her far out of her comfort zone. It had been just a year ago – _that's really all it's been?_ – and she wasn't sure she'd ever _not_ felt like that. But this seemed to have pushed her over the edge, to a place where she hardly recognized the woman she had become.

She wanted to give herself a pass, blame all the crazy emotions and reactions on raging pregnancy hormones and worries that being a 'geriatric' mom meant nothing but heartache on the horizon. At that moment, every ounce of her was focused on the tiny little wisp of a girl who was in a NICU with a lot of other babies like her. Or even worse. She and Chip had been lucky. Their baby would come home – she did really know that deep in her bones – and would enchant her parents as she grew up into her own person. She couldn't help but think about the emotional maelstrom they'd lived in for the past year. When she thought about those first few weeks and months, it had felt like she had fought her way upstream. It wasn't just a new role that took her far out of her comfort zone and it wasn't just learning to balance that with learning to be a mom. She had fought the headwinds of a relationship she didn't want but that she had known deep in her soul would be the one that truly completed her. When she had first laid eyes on the precious little being she had created with that man, in that relationship, she had felt a peace and a contentment she had never known. It had only lasted seconds, as she watched their daughter being whisked away. Now she needed him, to hold her up and hold her tight, but he wasn't there.

She sat up, putting aside the unicorn she was still holding onto. She gingerly slid down from the bed and reached for her robe. Then she headed down the hallway, not really sure where she was going.

* * *

She felt a little self-conscious as she stood outside the elevator. When she got on and the doors closed behind her, she suddenly realized she was just wearing pajamas and a robe, in a very public place. She hadn't showered since the day before. Her hair felt dirty. Her body ached. She stared at her reflection in the distorted mirrored surface of the door. She folded her hands over her waist, not able to hide the still prominent bump she'd thought would be gone as soon as her baby was born. Even still, her boobs looked huge, like they'd been pumped up with air. _I look like Dolly Parton_, she thought, and then laughed a little. There were people in the lobby when she got off the elevator, but no one really looked at her. She hurried down the hall anyway.

When she pushed open the door to the chapel, she felt as though she'd been drawn there. She was a little startled and unreasonably peeved when she saw that someone was sitting in one of the pews up front. As she started to leave, she looked again and thought the person looked familiar, then realized it was Chip. She walked towards him and saw his shoulders shaking. She frowned and stepped into the pew, putting her hand on his arm. When he looked up at her, she saw sadness in his eyes and immediately sat down next to him, pulling him into her embrace.

When he put his arms around her, she felt tears in her eyes. "It's okay, sweetheart," she murmured into his ear.

"I'm sorry," he replied, his voice muffled against her neck. When he pulled back and looked into her eyes, her heart broke.

She put her hands on his face and brushed back his tears. "Don't," she said, shaking her head and trying to smile. "It's been hard for both of us." She swallowed. "I just want us to be together now. Supporting each other." She smiled again. "You don't have to carry all this inside."

He breathed in, then smiled back at her. "I wanted to be strong for you…and for her," he said.

She nodded. "You are. We're both very, very lucky to have you here." She sat back then and took his hands. "Now, I don't know about you, but I'm really hungry," she said with a laugh. "I realized I haven't eaten all day."

He smiled more broadly, then chuckled. "Me too, actually. Why don't I go get us something?"

"I love that idea." She smirked. "I'd love some pizza."

He laughed, pulling her into his arms. "Pizza it is, then." He kissed her. "I'll go get pizza, then we go say goodnight to our girl."

She relaxed into his embrace, feeling comforted by it. "I think that's the perfect plan," she said, glad they were doing this together.

**Chip**

"No! Please, no!"

He sat up, instantly awake. His heart was thudding in his chest and he could barely catch his breath. He looked over at Connie and she was sitting up in her bed, her hands on her chest, still moaning the word no. he pushed back the light blanket that was draped over him and was beside her bed in an instant. He reached for her hands. In the dim light of the room, he could see that her eyes were wide open with fear.

"Baby, what is it?" he asked, gasping for breath.

She focused her gaze on him. "Something's wrong with Ryleigh." She pushed against his hands and tried to get past him. She winced and then made a noise, and he assumed she was still sore. "Please, Chip, we have to get to her."

He forced himself to breathe in and out. "Connie, she's okay. A nurse would come if she weren't."

She grimaced. "I can feel it, Chip. In my bones. I need to go to her." She frowned. "Please help me."

"Connie..."

She raised her voice. "Help me. She needs me."

He truly didn't think something would happen to Ryleigh and the nurse wouldn't come let them know. But he could see she was agitated and decided not to argue. He took her hand and then put his other hand under her elbow and helped her off the bed. She grabbed her robe and frantically pushed her arms through the sleeves, already heading for the door. "Connie," he called after her, then gave up and just followed.

* * *

By the time they go to the NICU, he was feeling a little anxious too. He still thought she had probably just dreamed it, but, as she'd told him before, she was the one who had carried Ryleigh in her belly and knew her the most intimately. She got to Ryleigh mere seconds before he did. They both stood there just watching her. She looked peaceful, her little chest rising and falling rhythmically, her eyes closed, her arms and legs relaxed. The nurse at her side stood up.

"Is she okay?" Connie asked, sounding a little frantic. She was wringing her hands together in front of her and she looked like she was ready to cry. He put his hand on her back of her arm, then looked back at their daughter, lying there, oblivious to what was happening around her.

The nurse gave them a sympathetic smile. "She's holding her own," she said. "She's already doing better. Her breathing is easier tonight."

He felt like his throat were closing up and he swallowed. "That's good, right?" The nurse nodded.

"Can we...sit here with her for a minute?" Connie asked.

"Of course," the nurse said. "As long as you like." She pointed. "I'll be right over there if you need anything."

She looked at him a little sheepishly. "I guess I was dreaming, or something."

He shook his head. "It's okay," he reassured her. "She's lucky to have you."

She swiped at her eyes, then laughed a little self-consciously. "It's not like I don't already have a kid. I feel like I'm being ridiculous."

He pulled her in for a hug. "You're not ridiculous, baby," he murmured against her hair. "You're a mama. You're _her_ mama. And it's been a lot." He pulled back and helped her to sit. Then he sat down next to her.

She reached for his hand. "I know I'm being a mess, Chip. I don't mean to be. And I don't mean to be sharp with you." She sighed. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to relax until we can take her home."

They leaned back and he put his arm around her. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he took her hand. "You know what?"

She turned her head to look up at him. "What?"

He smiled down at her. "I love you."

She smiled back. "I love you too." She looked thoughtful. "Chip, I know I've been so emotional and I know you want to be strong for me, but, you know, I want you to feel what you feel. Don't feel like you have to hide it from me. I want to do all of this _with_ you and I want to be able to be strong for you too, when you need me to be." She squeezed his hand and he felt that tightness in his chest. "I mean, I'm a geriatric mom and I'm going to need help in case I get tired or need help carrying her upstairs, or something." Her eyes twinkled merrily and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Same, baby," he said, kissing her forehead. "Same."

**Connie**

When she woke up the next morning, she looked over towards the chair Chip had slept in, but he wasn't there. She sat up and then gingerly slid off the bed. She felt refreshed. When she and Chip had come back from the NICU, she had quickly fallen into a deep sleep. There hadn't been any more dreams, just the sweet feeling of being wrapped up in a blanket and surrounded by darkness. She thought she might take a shower and change out of the hospital gown. Just as she started for the bathroom, a nurse came bustling in.

"Oh, hello, Ms. Britton," the nurse said, surprised, she supposed, to see her out of bed.

She smiled. "Hey there. I was thinking about getting a shower." She paused. "If it's okay."

The nurse smiled. "Of course it is. I was just going to check your blood pressure and your temperature and see that you had everything you needed, but I can come back."

"Thanks. I feel kind of icky, you know?" She laughed softly. "Um, have you seen my...partner?" _I've __got__ to figure out a way to be more smooth with that._

"Oh, yes, he's down the hall making some phone calls. You want me to let him know you're awake?"

She thought about it. "Uh, yeah, you can, but tell him he doesn't have to rush back." She gestured towards the bathroom. "I really need that shower." She grinned.

An understanding smile crossed the nurse's face. "Understood. I'll let him know then." She started for the door, then turned back. "I know your baby's in the NICU. I hope she won't be there long."

She felt the sudden rush of tears to her eyes. "Thanks. Me too."

"Well, you go ahead and get that shower. I'll be back a little later." And then she hurried out.

She stood where she was for a moment. She really did need that shower. She felt grimy, from the sweat and having not had a shower for over 24 hours. She picked up her robe and a change of clothes and walked into the bathroom, looking forward to the warm water running down over her body.

* * *

She hated to finally get out of the shower, but the water was starting to cool down and her fingers looked like prunes, so she forced herself to turn off the water and get out. She was also anxious to see Ryleigh but glad she felt clean and refreshed. She got dressed and combed her wet hair back off her face. She felt immensely better. When she finally walked out of the bathroom, Chip was back, sitting in the chair across the room with his phone. He looked up when she came out. "Hey, baby," he said, with a smile. "Feeling better?"

She nodded. "Yes. Much." She walked over and sat in the chair next to him, as he set his phone on the table between the chairs. "I was surprised you were already up."

He shrugged. "I think I might have gotten more sleep than you, but you really needed it. It was a long day yesterday."

She nodded. "I want to go see her."

"I know. Me too."

She smiled. "You haven't already?"

He smiled back at her. "Nah. I decided I'd wait for you today. I was making some phone calls and answering texts."

"Did you talk to your mom? And your sister? And your kids?"

He nodded. "I called Mom yesterday and then talked to Cathy this morning. I texted the kids." He paused. "And I texted Callie and some of the folks on the show."

"I guess I need to do some of that too." She reached out and put her hand on his knee. "Did the kids call you or anything?"

"Yeah. Well, Taylor did. Chase and Addie sent texts." She was relieved he'd at least heard from all of them. "They were all glad everything went well but worried a bit because she's in the NICU. I told them we had every reason to believe she'd be fine and home soon." He reached for her hand and squeezed it, then smiled at her. "You wanna go see Ryleigh?"

"Well, let me dry my hair and then yes, absolutely."

* * *

It still seemed surreal. Ryleigh still looked super tiny and it scared her a little. They talked to the doctor and the nurses who had tended her overnight and there had been no changes, which they reassured them was positive. She'd still gotten emotional when the doctor said Ryleigh wouldn't be ready to come home right away. He had explained that the baby still needed some breathing assistance and they wanted to be sure she was gaining weight appropriately and able to come off the feeding tube. The good news was that she had slept peacefully and they were both happy to hear that. After the doctor left, they had turned back and Ryleigh was awake, her eyes looking around, the fingers on her right hand flexing a little.

She had gotten to hold her, skin on skin again. Kangaroo care, they told her it was called. All she knew was that it felt like heaven to hold her daughter against her chest. She still wasn't gravitating towards her breast, but even as disappointed as she was about it, she was just glad Ryleigh was holding her own.

When she asked Chip if he wanted to hold her, he nodded a little apprehensively. The nurse had assisted in placing the baby on his bare chest, the same as she had done, and as she watched him with her, she was overwhelmed with emotions. The hand he placed on her back was almost as big as she was, but he was incredibly gentle with her. She could see the tears in his eyes as he rocked her, periodically kissing the top of her head.

She felt so incredibly lucky that he was Ryleigh's father and she felt comforted knowing that no matter what the future held, he was already head over heels in love with his daughter. She wiped her eyes and smiled as she watched them together. It was pretty much the best thing she thought she'd ever seen.

**Chip**

Connie was coming home. He stopped at the Starbucks near the hospital and got her the chai latte she loved and a plain coffee for himself. It was just Connie he'd be bringing home and he wasn't completely sure what to expect. She had gotten Dr. Hamilton to figure out a way for insurance to approve her staying two extra days in the hospital. Two extra days she could spend with Ryleigh for however long she wanted. He was finding that she was spending most of her time there.

She kept telling him she was okay, that she was handling things with Ryleigh and getting used to the idea that the baby wouldn't come home with them. But he knew that wasn't really the truth. She wasn't eating a lot, because she was so worried about the baby. The nurses kept encouraging her to eat more, so she could pump more breast milk for Ryleigh. She wanted to but he could see as the hours wore on that she was struggling, even though she kept telling him she was not.

He'd spent two nights at home, for several reasons. One was that, as willing as Jessie and Nathan were to keep Yoby, and as comforting as that felt to him and Connie, he didn't want to seem as though they were taking advantage. It had been too long since Yoby had seen his mom and he had felt like having him there made a difference for the little boy. He also had appointments in wardrobe. They would start rehearsing the following week and there were the inevitable shooting schedule changes due to Connie giving birth. She wouldn't start filming with everyone else and that meant they would film everything else that didn't include her until she came back to work.

That was another thing. Callie and Dee wanted her back as soon as possible but, especially with Ryleigh in the NICU, Connie wanted more time at home with her. It was a delicate balance between how close they could get to the season starting before she started to film and her resistance to giving up time with the baby. He could see how exhausted she was, her emotions all right at the surface. They had joked before about her being a 'geriatric mom' – or at least she had – but much of what she was going through was because she just wasn't going to bounce back as quickly. Adding that to the stress over Ryleigh just meant she needed the time for herself, not just for the baby.

Although she'd been okay with him going home to Yoby at night, she missed him, and he knew that. He missed _her_ when he wasn't there. He loved watching her when he was, seeing how she was bonding with their daughter, how tenderly she treated her, and how much Ryleigh seemed to thrive with her mom. It was a beautiful thing, seeing them together. Her face would light up when he arrived and she would tell him everything that had happened while he was gone. The time they spent together, with Ryleigh, just seemed to bond them closer together as well.

He needed her to come home though. She needed a break from the hospital. Yoby needed her. _He_ needed her. He knew she'd been dreading having to leave the hospital, but Ryleigh wasn't in any danger and he knew it would help Connie to get back to some normalcy. He walked into the hospital from the parking deck and waited for the elevator.

When he got to her room, he was a little surprised to see her there. "Hey," he said as he walked in, handing her the chai latte.

She smiled as she took the drink, putting one hand on his cheek. "Thanks, babe," she said. "I really appreciate this." She was dressed, her hair pulled back off her face, and although she looked tired, she also glowed. She sipped at the drink. "I missed you," she said, her voice a little wistful.

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. "I missed you too." He put his coffee down and then took hers from her hand, setting it down as well. Then he pulled her into his arms and held her tight. He felt her relax against him, leaning her head on his shoulder, sliding her arms around his waist. He ran his hand up and down her back. "It's gonna be okay, baby," he said softly and he felt her nod against his shoulder.

"I just need to pack my things and then I'll be ready." He nodded and walked over to the window, knowing she was probably still working through the idea of leaving Ryleigh behind. She needed to come home though. Home to him.


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: Thanks to the reviewer who is a nurse for saying I got the medical stuff right. I did do a good bit of research, but you just never know if you're doing it justice. Thanks for the thumbs up and thank all of you for reading._

**Connie**

Everything felt wrong. The baby wasn't supposed to come so early. She wasn't supposed to be in the NICU and unable to come home. and she and Chip weren't supposed to go home without her. Oh, she new she could come to hospital every day and see her baby, but it wouldn't be the same. She wouldn't be able to just stand by Ryleigh's bassinette and watch her. She couldn't feed her or hold her whenever she wanted. She couldn't sing to her or just talk to her, as she rocked her to sleep. She looked over at Chip, standing by the window, looking out onto the street in front of the hospital, while she was getting dressed and packing back up the bag she'd brought with her that frantic afternoon. _What, just four days ago? How can that be?_

Ryleigh would remain in the NICU, hopefully not for long. She needed help with her breathing and she couldn't nurse yet, so she had a feeding tube. The doctor had told them she was otherwise healthy, but she hated to leave her tiny daughter behind. Intellectually she knew she needed to give herself a break. She'd been incredibly emotional and hormonal ever since going into labor – really before that – and she knew she'd been snappy with Chip. In the very beginning she'd been annoyed with how calm he was, how he didn't cry, or express his anxiety. But then, two days after Ryleigh was born, she'd found him in the chapel, with his head bent down and his shoulders shaking. It had taken her breath away and made her feel like she hadn't been fair. She walked down to where he sat and he had looked at her, tears on his face and a deep, haunting sadness in his eyes. She held him in her arms, letting him cling to her tightly as he cried on her shoulder. He'd been just as scared, just hadn't wanted her to know. _I wanted to be strong for you…and for her._

She watched him now, his shoulders squared up, his thumb in his back pocket. She took a deep breath. "So, I'm ready. Can we go down and see her before we go?" she asked.

He turned around to face her. "Of course," he said. He walked over and put his arms around her. She let herself relax against him. "She's probably wondering where we are." She couldn't help but smile. He was her rock right then. He let her go, then took her hand and smiled at her encouragingly. "Let's go see our girl," he said.

**Chip**

She was still standing by the NICU crib when he came back from putting her things in the car. _Just a few more minutes, babe. Please._ He didn't mind, but he really needed her to come home. She hadn't been sleeping well and he knew she was probably up and down all night, walking from her room to the NICU floor, the nights he wasn't there. She wasn't eating much either and he just wanted to get her home and take care of her.

He walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, baby," he whispered in her ear. "You ready?"

She took a deep breath and let it out. "I don't want to leave her here," she said. He could hear her struggle in her voice.

They had talked about this moment, known it would happen. Even though she'd gotten an extra couple days in the hospital, she couldn't stay here forever. Yoby needed her too. She knew that, and wanted to see him, but she was still worried about Ryleigh. "She'll be fine here," he said. "You know that."

She nodded. "I do." She looked back at the baby, reaching out to gently take her tiny hand. "She's just so tiny and fragile."

He chuckled softly. "She may be tiny, but she's not fragile. She's fighting, you can see it. Every time I hold her, I feel it." He suddenly choked on tears and buried his face in her hair. "She'll be home soon," he said finally.

"I just feel like she's going to miss us being here. Being able to just come and be with her whenever we want to."

"We still can, Connie. You can spend every day, all day, here with her if you want. And I'll come as much as I can."

She sighed. "I'm just afraid..."

He shook his head and frowned. "Nothing's gonna happen, baby."

"You don't know that," she protested.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "We have to believe it though. She needs to know we believe that." He breathed in. "I know it's hard. I hate it too, but she's in good hands, and she's gonna get stronger and then, before we know it, we'll be coming back here to bring her home." He breathed out slowly. "We have to believe that."

She reached up and grasped his arms with her hands and nodded. "Yeah, you're right," she said, her voice a little breathless. She turned her head then and looked back at him, a tiny smile on her face. "This is one of the reasons I love you so much. You keep me sane."

He laughed a little and she did too. "You have been kind of a crazy person, Connie Britton. Somebody's gotta keep you in line." He let go of her and she turned to face him, her hands rubbing against his chest.

She smiled up at him. "You know, I wish she hadn't come so early, but she's here and she's beautiful and she's ours. And that makes me so happy."

He leaned in and kissed her. "Me too." He kissed her again. "Now, I need to take you home, because I promised our _other_ kid I'd bring you home today."

She smiled even bigger, her eyes sparkling with tears. "Thank you," she whispered.

They said a last goodbye to their sleeping infant and then he took her hand and led her out of the NICU.

* * *

She sat on the bed, rubbing her arms with lotion. She made a little moaning noise of pleasure as she did so. "Do you realize I didn't do this for 4 days? Or longer?" She looked over at him as he sprawled out next to her on the bed. "My skin is like sandpaper."

He shook his head. "It's not that bad." He took the lotion from her, then sat up and started applying it to her legs and feet, massaging it into her skin.

She smiled at him. "I missed this."

"Me too." He let his hands slowly run down her legs, making sure he didn't miss any places. Then he settled on her feet, being sure to work out the tension there. "I think Yoby was happy to have you back."

She looked at him. "I think he was too. He was so sweet, wanting to know if Ryleigh got his gift." She looked a little melancholy. "I hated having to tell him it would be a little while before she comes home."

He saw a tear trail down her cheek and he leaned forward to wipe it off. "I think we're all a little sad about that." They had gone to the nursery after putting Yoby to bed. It wasn't completely fixed up yet, far from it in fact. The furniture that was being delivered wasn't there yet, so they only had the crib and a changing table, that had been Yoby's.

She had been teary, thinking about that, but he had reassured her that everything would be there soon and she'd have the time to get everything ready for their daughter's arrival home. He felt empty and he was sure she did too. They had a baby but she wasn't home yet. He knew Connie yearned to hold Ryleigh in her arms and he felt heartbroken for her. He'd had to acknowledge his own feelings as well, however, not realizing how quiet it would seem without her.

He looked back at her as he finished with her feet. Her eyes were closed, but he knew she wasn't asleep. He moved back to the head of the bed and took her in his arms. She wrapped her own arms around him and started to cry. He rocked her back and forth, just letting her get out her sadness and the feelings of emptiness she had. She would see Ryleigh every day – they both would – but it wasn't the same. Finally they got under the sheets, turned out the lights, and he held her all night.

**Connie**

She woke up slowly. She felt a little disoriented at first, but then she realized she was in her own bed not the hospital bed. And as she opened her eyes fully, she also realized she was snuggled against Chip, whose arm was loosely draped over her. She let her eyes trail over his face and she smiled to herself. She was home, with her man, and the only thing that would have made it perfect would be to have both her children at home with them. She felt the agony of being so far away from her daughter then and it was like she had a giant lump in her throat.

"Chip," she whispered, hating to wake him, but she wanted to talk. He frowned a little but his eyes didn't open. "Chip," she said a little louder. He opened his eyes then and blinked twice.

"What is it, baby?" he asked, still sounding sleepy, his voice raspy. He frowned again. "Something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No." He lifted his arm and ran his hand over her head, settling back on her shoulder. She slid her arm around him, pulling herself a little closer. "I just wanted to talk."

He let his fingers graze her shoulder and then her back. He gave her a lazy smile. "What do you wanna talk about?" he asked.

She bit her lip. "I'm not ready to go back to work."

"You don't have to right now, sweetie." His voice still sounded thick with sleep.

She sighed. "But I know they want me to. Soon. And I'm not ready. Ryleigh's not home yet and I need bonding time with her."

He kissed her on the forehead. "I know you do. And I'm on your side." She felt tears in her eyes and he frowned slightly. "It's okay, baby. They gotta give you some time. It's only fair. I won't let 'em try to bully you around." He smirked. "Not that anyone can bully _you_."

She smiled and then she laughed a little. "I love how you understand." Her heart felt full. "I just love _you_." He smiled at her. "How did I get so lucky?"

He shook his head. "_I'm_ the one who's lucky. _I_ get to be the one to do this with you. I know this wasn't the goal and it wasn't anything we even thought about, but now that we've gone through it and we have Ryleigh, I'm just so glad we got this chance."

She felt the tears in her eyes. "I'm so grateful to have been able to have a baby, to be pregnant with a baby, to give birth to a baby, to hold a baby who's ours. It's been such an amazing journey. I'm glad we did it together." She sighed. "Which is why I'm just feeling so ambivalent about going back to work." She laid her head back on his shoulder. "I'm wondering if they'd let me cut back some. Not work as much. Not be in every episode."

He didn't say anything at first. She felt his fingers slide across her shoulder again and he kissed the top of her head. He cleared his throat. "Is that what you really want to do?" he asked.

"I'm thinking a lot about it. I know that I did this last season with Yoby. But he was almost 8 months old when we started. Still a baby, I know, but not a newborn." She sighed. "I thought I could do it. I had no idea how hard it would be. You know that. I was sure I had my shit all together and, even with this brand new being in my life, surely I could do this." She rubbed her hand on his chest. "Getting pregnant was a happy surprise, but it was an accident. An accident of nature. And you know how tough it's been. And now I look at that tiny baby, who seriously fits in your hand, Chip. She's living in a little bubble really, too tiny to come home. It breaks my heart that she's there, that I couldn't even do that right."

"Connie," he said, a warning note in his voice.

"I mean it, Chip. I have such a responsibility now to do right by her. To start her off right, after all this." She moved her head so she could look up at him and she saw the pensive look on his face. "I know you hate when I say this, but her father is still married to someone else, and that's been something we've had to deal with all along. We don't know yet if her sisters and her other brother will welcome her into their lives. And that's because she exists. She came early, she has some obstacles to overcome before she can come home. I just want to protect her. My whole body just screams out that I need to protect her. That _we_ need to protect her. Love her. Make her the center of our world, at least for now." She could feel the tears rolling down her face now. "I feel such a responsibility to her. And I don't want to mess this up. Or her."

She could see the pain in his eyes and then he leaned down and brushed her lips with his. "I want you to be able to do whatever you want to do, baby, you know that," he whispered. "I know she needs you too. She needs us both, but especially you. You're her mama."

She heard the hesitation in his voice and the inflection at the end of his sentence. "But you don't think it'll happen," she said, a statement, not a question.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't think they'll want to let you do that."

"But they still have Hayden. And you."

He smiled sadly. "Baby, you're the star. I know you don't want to hear that, but you are. Juliette Barnes doesn't carry Nashville. Neither does Deacon Claybourne. Especially without Rayna Jaymes. Or less Rayna Jaymes. I think that's how they'll see it." He gently scratched at her shoulder. "I think you should ask though."

"You do?" It surprised her when he said that.

He nodded, looking at her seriously. "I do. If they say no, then maybe there's another way to work through this that lets you spend less time on set. But you'd know you asked. You did it for our girl. And _I_ love you for that." he kissed her again, a little more firmly this time. "I love _you_, Connie." He smiled then. "Ryleigh's a lucky girl. Just like Yoby's a lucky boy."

She smiled back at him. "I know you're right. But I need them to be creative about it. Especially at first."

"You know what I think?" he asked.

"What?"

"I think we need to get up, get ready, and go see our girl."

* * *

As they drove to the hospital, she looked over at him. He glanced back at her and smiled. When they got out of bed, they had gotten in the shower together. She wasn't ready, physically or mentally, for sex. But she did crave the closeness they had. She needed that from him, to know they were together on everything. She knew she could lean on him, something she normally wouldn't have needed, but she was still processing through all the physical and emotional aspects of childbirth and so she accepted it gratefully. Now they were going to see their daughter, something she had not planned for. She had assumed she would come home like every other baby, and be part of their lives, and Yoby's, right away. She was grateful to have Chip by her side as they went through it together.

She looked over at him again, then reached for his hand. He looked at her and she squeezed it, feeling a sense of peace.

**Chip**

He could tell she was fragile. It was so different from how he had known her in the beginning. Things had changed for them before filming for the first season was over and they had gone to LA. The stress she felt, wanting the pregnancy to go well and being fearful of all the things that could go wrong had been a lot for her to take on. She had leaned on him then and he hadn't minded. He still didn't mind. But he worried about her. Having Ryleigh so early had shaken her. Truthfully, it had shaken him too. He hadn't expected it, hadn't been prepared for how it would make him feel. She'd told him Ryleigh fit into his hand, although that wasn't exactly true, but it helped him understand the fears she had. Nothing was as it was supposed to be.

Ryleigh was here though and the doctors had said she'd be okay, that she just needed a little assistance while she got stronger. When he looked at his daughter, he felt so many things – some anxiety over her situation, a little fearful when handling a baby that small, but mostly it was his heart bursting with love for her. And then, of course, for the woman who was walking beside him, holding his hand tightly. He would do anything for her and he wanted to do this right. He wanted to support her not only while their daughter was still in the hospital, but even after she came home, and Connie could be the mom she really wanted to be. She wanted to be able to hold their daughter whenever she wanted, walk around with her, feed her, and talk to her. All things she should have the chance to do.

He knew Callie and Dee would balk at her taking extra time off, skipping episodes. He knew it could be disastrous for the show. They were still a new show, a different kind of show, a niche show. She was the heart of it, both Connie herself as well as her character. He wasn't sure how long they could carry on without her or with less of her. He also knew that was selfish and it was a tough balancing act for him. He felt like he needed to follow her lead on this, though, and support her desires and decisions, even if it inconvenienced him.

When they got on the elevator at the hospital, she looked up at him. "You're so quiet," she said. "Everything okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah. No. Both." He tried to laugh it off, but he couldn't quite manage. "This is one of the two hardest things I've ever gone through in my life. It's confusing and strange and scary, all at once. I feel selfish for just wanting things to be normal, because it's easier that way. There are no choices to be made and no inconveniences. But then I get pulled back into the fact that I want to make it better. I want to _fix_ it. I wanted to fix Addie. I want to fix Ryleigh. I don't want what we're going through to be what is, you know?"

The elevator stopped on their floor and they got out. She held onto his hand, making him stop. He looked down at her and was surprised to see gratitude in her eyes, instead of the judgment he wouldn't have blamed her for. "I _do_ know," she said. "I don't blame you at all, Chip, for what you feel. I feel it too. I wanted Ryleigh to be born in the middle of August, the way she was supposed to be. To not be coming here to visit her for some undefined period of time. It _would_ be easier that way. And trust me, I wanted easy too." She turned towards him and ran her free hand over his arm. "I think it's okay for us to feel like this. I just don't want it to pull us in different directions." He couldn't help but remember how that had happened when Addie was sick and he knew Connie knew that. "We need to be sure to talk to each other about it."

He nodded and then put his arms around her and held her close. "We will. I promise." They stood that way for several minutes and then he pulled back and smiled at her. "Let's go spend time with Ryleigh and tell her everything we're gonna do when she gets home."

**Connie**

He looked so tired. His eyes were so sad. When he held her, it seemed tighter than usual, closer than usual. He seemed worried. _She_ was worried. About him. He'd taken on a lot, not just since Ryleigh had been born, but ever since she'd told him she was pregnant. She felt ashamed sometimes, when she thought about the times she'd questioned his commitment or doubted his intentions. It had been unfair, because she recognized now that he was hurting too.

He had been there, supporting her, all along. Hadn't he always said he wanted her to have whatever she wanted? She did very much want more time with Ryleigh before she went back to work. She also knew she would want that regardless of anything else. But she'd also want to be challenged by work at some point, so she had to recognize that. She was certain it put him in a tough position. He would want to work, have a job, earn money, and he was a huge supporter of the show. He wanted her to have what she wanted as well and she appreciated him so much for that.

She could see how easy it would be for her to focus all her attention on Ryleigh, with nothing left for him. The day Ryleigh was born, she could see how easy it would be for them not to rely on each other, to walk separate paths. She didn't want that and she knew he didn't either. They would both need to be intentional about it, probably her more her than him.

When they got to the NICU and were admitted, she hovered by the incubator. "Let's do this together," she suggested. He looked surprised. "You take her hand and I'll put my hand on her tummy. So she knows we're both here with her." He smiled then and nodded. He stepped up and reached out for Ryleigh's hand, letting his finger gently brush against hers. She then laid her hand on Ryleigh's abdomen, very gently. Ryleigh moved a little in response to their touches and then she opened her eyes. "Hey there, sweetie," she said softly. "We're here." She watched her daughter's jerky movements and then felt her heart fill with love as she gripped Chip's finger. She looked over at Chip and he looked at her for a second, then back at their baby. "I might be biased, but I think she's the cutest baby here."

He smiled. "I might be too, but I agree with you."

"What do you hope her life will be like? What are your dreams for her?"

His smile softened as he considered her questions. He turned towards her. "My hopes and dreams for her are the same as for my other kids. I want her to be happy and healthy and to always feel loved. I want her to smile and laugh so much more than she ever feels sad or cries or feels hurt. I want her to be a good human who cares about other people, like her mama does." He smiled at her. "I hope she finds love – but not too soon – and that she treats others respectfully. And I want her to dream big. What about you?"

"All those things. I hope she brings joy to others, the way she has to us." She felt a little emotional then, thinking about what she wanted for Ryleigh. "Selfishly, I want her to be smart and funny and empathetic and kind. And I want her to never know a moment's pain, although I know that won't happen." She looked back at Ryleigh, whose eyes danced around as she tried to focus. "I want her to have magic in her life."

He leaned over and kissed her, letting his lips linger a moment. "I think she will. She has the most amazing mama, who'll make sure of it."

She grinned at him. "I know right now we feel a little scared, but I believe she's going to have the best life. We're going to give her the best life. We'll love her and teach her and raise her to be everything we dream of for her. I love our little girl and I love you for giving her to me."

He kissed her again. "I love you for doing it."

She suddenly couldn't stop the tears, but they were happy tears and she knew he knew that too. _We'll get through this, just like we have everything else up to now. At least we're doing it together._

**Chip**

He was worried going back to work would be tough, uncertain as to what everyone's reactions would be, to him and later to Connie. But seeing everyone again had been great. A lot had changed for him since they'd wrapped the season. When his and Connie's relationship became public, several of the other cast members had reached out to him about it. Eric had been standoffish at first, but he seemed to have come around. Even though he'd been nervous about the reaction everyone would have, they had all crowded around him, looking at the pictures he'd taken on his phone.

He'd been proud to show off pictures of his daughter. Even with all the tubes and wires and monitors, Ryleigh was adorable. He knew he was biased, but she was so perfect. Her fingers were perfectly formed. She had a little rosebud mouth. Her eyes, when they were open, were that newborn blue color. He knew that could change, but both he and Connie had blue eyes and he was pretty sure Ryleigh's would stay that way. She still was just wearing the little preemie diaper that was still too big for her. He showed the one picture he had of Connie sitting next to the incubator and holding Ryleigh in her arms and then the one the nurse had taken of the two of them with her.

Lennon had kind of hung over his shoulder, as he showed the pictures, and then hung back when the others finally went to take their seats for the table read. "She's so perfect, Chip," she said, her voice filled with wonder.

He looked up at her. He still couldn't get used to her with contacts, but they certainly changed her look, made him truly appreciate what a beautiful young woman she was becoming. He smiled. "Well, I think so," he said. Lennon walked around and slid into the seat next to him.

"Who do you think she looks like?"

He thought about that. "She's still pretty little so it's hard to tell for sure. But if she's lucky, she'll look like her mama."

Lennon smiled, her eyes twinkling. "I think it's so cool you and Connie had a baby together. And _are_ together. It's just so...perfect."

"You do?"

She nodded. "I do. Were you together the whole first season?"

He shook his head. "No. For part of it though."

She smiled knowingly. "Well, I think it made Deacon and Rayna so believable, when you were together." She gave him one of those dreamy teenage girl looks he'd seen from both Taylor and Addie. "My mom said she was pretty sure you two were together. She's very intuitive like that. I didn't say anything, but I watched."

He didn't have time to say anything, because one of the production assistants called them in for the table read. But he did turn it over and over in his head the rest of the day.

* * *

He walked into the NICU and over to Ryleigh's bed. Connie was holding her against her chest and they were both asleep. He smiled as he watched the two of them. He was certain that not only would Ryleigh look like her, but she would have Connie's strength and determination, as well as her kindness and heart for others. He thought that as much as he'd loved getting to be with her while she was pregnant, he was even more glad that he would have this chance to be with her while they raised their daughter.

He wanted to make things official. He wanted her to wear a ring that said she was in this for the long haul. He understood why she hesitated, but it was still what he wanted. He hated that they still had to wait. But he already felt married to her, in a way, and certainly committed to each other. They were building a life together, no matter how unconventional.

While he sat, he pulled out his phone. There was an email with his rehearsal schedule for the next day and attached to it was the full episode schedule for rehearsals and filming. They would only film what didn't include Connie, which included hospital scenes, which he was not in, and flashback scenes, which he was. When Connie had seen the script and the scenes, she had laughed. _I'm curious how they're going to make us look so much younger. Rayna couldn't have been more than her early 20's when Deacon bought the lake house, right?_ He had agreed and she told him there was no way she could play early 20's, but he was pretty sure she could do anything.

"Hey, babe," she said and he looked up. She had that soft, dreamy look on her face that she did when she first woke up. She smiled. "How long have you been here?"

"Just a few minutes," he said.

"I think I just closed my eyes 10 minutes ago. But she was asleep" – she looked down at their still sleeping daughter – "and she felt so warm against my chest that it made me feel a little sleepy too."

He smiled. "How'd she do today?"

"Pretty well. Still no breastfeeding though." She sighed. He knew that worried her the most. It was something she really wanted to do and she hoped it wouldn't take her long to be able to do it. "She held steady on her weight, which the nurse told me was good. She said usually that's the signal that she'll start to gain weight." Just then Ryleigh stirred against Connie's chest, moving her arms a little and opening her eyes. Connie leaned down and pressed her lips gently on the top of Ryleigh's head. "Your daddy's here," she said softly, lifting her eyes up to look at him. "How about we let him hold you now?"

He sat forward and watched Connie gently lift her, being careful with all the wires and tubes, and hand her over to him. He knew all babies felt lighter than you'd expect, but he was still surprised every time he held Ryleigh. She was literally as light as a feather. As he got her settled, she made little mewling noises, but once he'd settled her against his chest, she relaxed. He looked up then and saw Connie smiling at him.

"I love watching you hold her," she said.

He smiled back. "I love watching _you_ hold her." he breathed in deeply. "I'll be glad to get her home so we can hold her there." She said nothing, just nodded, as her eyes got damp.

* * *

He was standing by the set, in his orange prison jumpsuit. He'd had to laugh when he was in hair and makeup. He'd come to work clean faced and his hair groomed. They'd messed up his hair and given him a band aid over his eye and roughed his face up a little. They were doing one of the early scenes in the episode, when Deacon was in the courtroom. It was his first day back filming and he had the adrenaline rush he always got when he was starting something new. He missed Connie, missed having her on set, and wouldn't see her until he headed for the hospital at the end of his filming day.

They had sat on the couch the night before, going over the script. She wondered how in the world they thought the two of them could play Deacon and Rayna in their twenties, in the flashback scenes. She didn't like the coma piece. _So soap opera. She doesn't have to almost die to have drama._ She wasn't looking forward to that, but they had written it that way to help her ease into things, as he reminded her. She scowled and mumbled something about being worried about how the season would go. Then she waved her hands in front of her face and took the script from his hand, tossing it on the coffee table, and then leaning into him for a long, deep kiss.

He smiled as he thought about it. He had not really thought about sex or anything like it since she'd gone into labor, but he had found himself running his hands over her back as she chased his tongue. He had pulled her onto his lap and, pushing back the cup of her bra, let his thumb trail over her breast and nipple. He heard a little moan in the back of her throat and then she suddenly pulled her mouth from his and looked at him, her mouth slightly open. _We can't do this yet, _she said. He smiled at her and responded that they could be creative. Later, in their bed, they had figured out those creative ways to be more intimate, something that had been healing for both of them.

He'd hated leaving her that morning. Her hair was tousled around her face and she had smiled softly. She would get up with Yoby and then, when the nanny came, Jessie would drop her off at the hospital to be with Ryleigh. He would meet her there that afternoon. Just then, someone walked up to him and he turned to face Dee.

"Hey, Chip," she said, with a smile. "Feels good to get back to work, doesn't it?"

He nodded. "It does."

"I'm sure you're missing your little girl though."

"Yeah. But I'll see her later." He waited.

Dee stood there for several minutes, watching the activity of getting the set ready. Then she turned to him. "I hope Connie can come back soon, so we're not too far behind."

He could feel the tic in his jaw. He tried to stay calm. "Dee, she just had a baby, and the baby's still in the hospital. I don't think she's really thinking at _all_ about work. This has been a lot physically and emotionally and you're just gonna have to give her a minute before you start pushing that." He'd been surprised it was already coming up and he knew Connie wasn't keen on coming back any earlier than she had to. Truthfully, he didn't want her to either. Ryleigh needed her mama, especially at first, and he would fight for her to be able to be a full-time mama as long as she could.

Dee didn't look at him, just tapped her toe a few times. "I need her in the premiere. And I have to have enough time to make the edits before our air date."

He wanted to blow up, but he knew he needed to stay under control. "Don't bother her right now. When the timing is right, I'll talk to her, but I don't need her to be agitated right now and feeling pressured. She has a more important job right now and you need to leave her be." At that moment, everyone was called to the set and he breathed out, walking away from her.

**Connie**

When she walked out of the lactation room, she saw Chip sitting next to Ryleigh. He was leaned in close and she could see he had a hand inside the incubator. She smiled and headed towards him. He looked up, a smile on his face. "Hey," she said, sitting down next to him. She put her hand on his arm and leaned towards him for a kiss.

"Hey. They told me you were pumping."

She could feel her cheeks get a little warm. Although it was perfectly natural, it was still so new to her that she still could feel a little awkward, even around Chip. He'd told her not to worry, that it didn't make him uncomfortable. _It's natural, baby. And you're doing it for her. That's a beautiful thing._ "I think I've finally gotten the hang of it. And if it's helping her, then all the more reason to do it." She looked in the incubator and saw that Ryleigh had her hand wrapped around his finger, even though she was asleep. _It's already happening, I guess. She's already a daddy's girl. _ But she loved it. She loved seeing him bond with their daughter. She smiled again. "She already loves her daddy."

He smiled back and then teared up a little. "I just wish we could take her home," he said. She heard a catch in his voice. "I hate leaving her here, not getting to see her as much."

She nodded. "Work okay today?" she asked, changing the subject. It was easy to get caught up in all the emotions of their situation, especially when they were there everyday.

"Yeah." He smirked. "Deacon's ready to just plead guilty and be done with it."

She smiled, then wondered if she should say anything. Finally she decided she would. "So Dee called me today."

His face got red and he scowled angrily. "I told her not to call you," he said.

She shook her head. "I didn't answer. I was holding Ryleigh. I haven't even listened to her voice mail."

He was still frowning. "Don't. I told her not to bug you."

"I can handle her, Chip."

"I don't want you to, though. She needs to give you time with Ryleigh and no interrupting to talk about work. You're on maternity leave. She needs to stand down."

She smiled. He was so protective and he did feel strongly about her having as much time with Ryleigh as she wanted, without any outside concerns. She couldn't be unhappy about that. "I appreciate that, babe," she said. "I really do."

He gently pulled his finger from Ryleigh's grip. She stirred just a little, then settled back down. He looked at her "The nurse told me she gained some weight."

She had been frantic and terrified when Ryleigh lost several ounces in the few days right after she was born. Even though the doctors and nurses told her it was normal, she had been so fearful. But she was moving in the right direction again. She still wasn't interested in nursing, but she tried not to overreact. "Well, it's just a little bit. But it is something."

He smiled. "She's doing good."

She nodded. "She is." She suddenly felt choked up and she could feel the tears rolling down her face, unable to stop them.

He sat forward in his chair, looking concerned. He grabbed her hands. "You okay?" he asked. He lifted her hands to his lips, brushing them gently.

She couldn't stop the tears, but she nodded, trying to laugh a little. "I am. Really," she said. "It's just all these emotions. Having a baby, having her be here, thinking about how we just really upended so many lives, feeling guilty about it. All of those things run through my head, all the time."

He frowned and shook his head. "You shouldn't feel guilty."

"But I do. It's more than just that, though. I feel guilty for being _happy_. I know Ryleigh will be okay, but there are babies in here who won't. We'll get to take her home, but some parents won't. And it's also that I'm happy I'm with you and that we're creating a family, but it was painful for others along the way."

He let go of her hands and reached out to smooth her hair back. "I understand. Sometimes I catch myself doing some of that too. It seems impossible to be so happy but so sad at the same time. I really hope the kids will want to come see their baby sister, and I wonder how it'll be if they don't." He sighed. "Mom's gonna try to get them to come while she's here."

She smiled encouragingly. "I hope they will. For _you_, even more than for Ryleigh. I want all of you to heal. I don't want to prevent that from happening or be in the way of it. I know they wouldn't be here for me. I just want them to come for _you_. And for Ryleigh." Just then Ryleigh stretched her arms and legs and made a tiny, soft noise, as though she'd heard them talking about her. The nurse started over. They'd learned that the nurses had equipment that allowed them to see what was going on with the babies without having to be standing right there, so it no longer surprised them when it happened.

The nurse smiled as she approached. "I see your little one is awake. Would someone like to hold her?"

She gestured towards Chip. "I think it's her daddy's turn," she said, and then watched as the nurse assisted in getting Ryleigh out and into Chip's arms. She felt the breath catch in her throat as she watched him hold her ever so gently against his chest. He gently kissed the top of Ryleigh's head, then breathed in deeply, closing his eyes. She sighed contentedly, thinking she'd never get tired of watching the two of them together.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chip**

He was on his way from work to the hospital when his phone rang. He could see it was Taylor and he breathed in deeply before hitting the answer button. He smiled, even though she couldn't see him. "Hey there, Tay," he said.

"Hey, Dad. Are you in the car?"

"Yep. On my way to the hospital from work."

"Already? Don't you get paternity leave or something?"

"Somebody's gotta work around here. So no, no paternity leave."

There was a pause. "I talked to Nana and she said she's coming to Nashville soon. Does that mean the baby's coming home?"

The agreement he had with his mom and his sister was that they would come after Ryleigh came home, whenever that ended up being. Soon, hopefully. "We still don't know when yet," he said. "She's starting to gain some weight and she's getting better with her breathing, but she still needs the feeding tube, so that's probably the last hurdle."

"Why does she still need that?"

"Well, Connie wants to breastfeed, but Ryleigh still doesn't have the sucking thing down yet. And she'd need that for a bottle too, so we're waiting on that." He paused. One of the ones Connie actually took was of his hand flat on the bed next to Ryleigh. It had even surprised him how large his hand looked next to her. "Did you get the pictures I sent yesterday?"

"Yeah," Taylor said, softly. "She looks so teeny tiny."

He chuckled. "Well, she is. She's right at 4 pounds now. And we can put her in clothes now."

Taylor laughed. "I'm so glad she doesn't have to just rock the diaper anymore. But the clothes look too big on her too."

"They are. We really didn't have much for her yet and what we did have was for a bigger baby." That part still pulled up his emotions. She'd been in the NICU a week and a half and, although she was progressing well, it was just a reminder that she'd come so early.

"Can we come see her?"

That surprised him. "You want to come?"

"Yeah. I told Mom we wanted to and she said okay. But we weren't sure when would be good."

He felt tears in his eyes and wiped them away. "Maybe when Nana comes. She's thinking about renting an Airbnb, so I bet you could stay with her and Aunt Cathy." He hesitated. "So when you say we..."

"All of us, Dad. We all want to come."

* * *

He got off the elevator and walked down the hall to the NICU. He was let in and then headed for where Ryleigh was. Connie was holding her, rubbing her back. He smiled to himself. There weren't many times when he came that she wasn't holding their daughter. She looked up as he approached and smiled. "Hey there. You're a little early today," she said.

He grinned. "I was exceptionally perfect today."

She laughed, softly so as not to startle Ryleigh. "You're always perfect. It's everyone else around you who's not. So I'm glad you inspired them today."

He shook his head. "I'm not always perfect, unfortunately." He paused. "So Taylor called me when I was driving over here."

She raised her eyebrows as she slid forward in her chair and handed Ryleigh to him. He took the baby carefully, arranging her in his arms so that she was against his chest, being careful with the tubes and monitors that were left. "Good news I hope?"

He nodded. He felt a little choked up and covered it by pressing his lips to the top of Ryleigh's head. "They want to come see Ryleigh," he said. he looked up at her.

She clasped her hands to her chest. "Really? All three?" he nodded again. She leaned forward and put her hand on his knee. "Oh, Chip, that's so great."

The thought of his older kids coming to see the tiny little being he held against his chest was almost overwhelming. He could feel the dampness in his eyes as he smiled at Connie. "I don't want to hope for too much," he said.

"It's a start, babe," she said. "They're coming to see their baby sister. Maybe they're not going to be here for us, but I think Ryleigh can be a bridge. And Yoby too, for that matter. The littlest ones can sprinkle their magic dust and maybe bring them a little closer."

She looked so hopeful and he couldn't help but want to feel hopeful too.

**Connie**

She sat next to him on the couch, holding the script he'd received by courier. He had one arm loosely wrapped around her shoulders, leaning slightly forward to see the page she was focused on. He squinted, then reached for his glasses and slid them on, perching them across the bridge of his nose. She couldn't help biting down on her lip. He looked so sexy in his glasses that she almost felt like she could eat him up with a spoon. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

He glanced over at her and smiled. "You trying to distract me?" he asked playfully, taking the script out of her hands.

She shrugged. "Maybe. Or not. I just had this overwhelming feeling of" – she rubbed his leg – "contentment, I guess." She smiled. "I mean, here we are, at home. Our little girl will be able to come home pretty soon and I guess, I don't know." She clasped her hands at her chest. "I have these dreams of letting her lay in bed between us, while we just admire her and think about how lucky we are and talk some more about our dreams for her." She suddenly felt a little weepy. "I've been wanting to do that ever since she was born. I think that's when I'll feel like a real mama to her."

He frowned a little. "Sweetie, you're a real mama to her now. You spend all day long with her, holding her and talking to her and loving her."

"I know. But I want her here, all the time. I don't want to have to get up and get dressed and drive over to the hospital to see her. I want to stand next to her crib _here_ and just watch her sleep. Or hold her in my arms _here_ and feed her. Or dress her up in one of those cute little outfits I got at the shower." Her friends had thrown her a post-birth baby shower and she'd been overwhelmed with all the sweet, pretty little girl outfits that Ryleigh was still too small for. She grabbed his arm and leaned in a little closer. "I just can't wait for her to come home."

He looked deep in her eyes, then reached out and brushed a strand of hair back off her face. Then he slipped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. Then he pulled back a little and smiled. "She doesn't even know yet how lucky she is," he said.

She laughed, then let one finger trail from his ear down to his jaw. "She's lucky she has such a handsome, amazing dad, who's going to spoil her so much."

He raised his eyebrows and grinned. "I absolutely am," he said, a teasing note to his voice. "But you know you are too." He pressed his lips to hers, still smiling. Then he pulled her closer, tugging at her lip. Her lips parted and he ran his tongue over her lower lip, feeling her warm breath against his skin. He closed his mouth over hers, letting his tongue tangle with hers, enjoying how she seemed to pull him in. "I miss...," he said against her mouth.

"I know," she whispered. "I do too." She missed the intimacy. Not that they didn't still have that on many levels, but she missed the intimacy that truly allowed them to be part of each other. She sat back and sighed. "I feel like, until she's here with us, that we're just in a holding pattern, you know?"

He sat back, putting his arm around her and pulling her in close. "I _do_ know," he said. He turned his head and kissed the side of her face.

* * *

It hung over them, the incompleteness. She supposed it was like this for every parent who didn't bring their baby home right away. One of the other moms she'd met in the NICU had been waiting 2 ½ months. Her baby was what they called a micro-preemie. He'd been born at 26 weeks and was just a couple of weeks ahead of Ryleigh now. He was one of the lucky ones – as scary as it had been for his parents in the beginning, he was getting stronger every day, and it helped to see him thriving. It also made her feel humbled, because Ryleigh was likely to be able to come home in a week or so. It still felt like the days were dragging by.

Sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night, thinking she heard Ryleigh crying. Chip would murmur something incoherent and wrap his arm around her a little tighter and doze back off, while she would lay there for a long time with her eyes wide open, feeling her racing heart start to slow and her breathing get back to normal.

This was another of those nights, when she thought she heard the thin little cry Ryleigh made, that sounded as tiny as she was. She pushed herself up, breathing in sharply, her heart beating so hard she couldn't hear anything else. She felt Chip's hand on her hip and she breathed out.

"It's okay, baby," he murmured, his voice thick with sleep. He let his hand move to her arm and his fingers gently wrapped around her arm as he pulled her back against him. She resisted for a second, then let herself relax as she laid back down on the bed, feeling his chest against her back. He kissed the back of her neck. "It's okay," he said again.

She felt tears in her eyes and then felt them roll silently down her face. "I miss her, Chip," she said quietly.

He rubbed her arm. "I know. She'll be home soon though." He kissed her shoulder. "Go back to sleep, baby." He sounded like he was dozing off again and she brushed the tears away with her fingers. He was right. She'd be home soon. It just wasn't soon enough. She sighed and then felt his arm reach around and circle her waist, holding her protectively. She forced herself to close her eyes, listening to his slow, even breathing and feeling the heat of his skin against hers. He wasn't worried and she knew she shouldn't be either. She breathed out slowly as she let herself be embraced by sleep.

**Chip**

Filming was moving a little more quickly without Connie's scenes. He tried to avoid Dee when he could, but Callie had also asked about Connie's plans as well just two days earlier. He didn't want to be asked, wanting it to be Connie's choice of what she decided and when she decided to do it. As long as Ryleigh was still in the hospital, she wasn't thinking about work, so he just tried to discourage anyone reaching out to her, at least about when she planned to return. So when Clare asked, as they waited to be called to the set, he had looked at her angrily, feeling the tension in his body.

"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes open wide and almost cringing. "I didn't know it was a sensitive topic."

He breathed in, closing his eyes for a second, then breathed out and looked back at her. "No, I'm sorry. I'm just, I don't know, irritated that Dee and Callie seem to want her to come back before she's ready."

Clare eyed him carefully. "Baby's still in the hospital, right?" He nodded solemnly. "I promise I'm not pushing for her to have to come back. I was just wondering."

He shook his head. "I'm really sorry, Clare." He sighed. "Truth is, I don't know that she's really thought about it much. I understand why they want to know, but she wants some time to just be a mama."

"I get it. I probably would too. It's gotta be hard for her right now, with your little girl still in the hospital." She gave him a shy smile then. "How's she doing, by the way?"

He smiled, happy to talk about his daughter. "She's doing really well. Her breathing's improved, she's gaining weight. Everything she needs to do to come home, she's doing. Except breastfeeding. And they want her to do that before they'll send her home."

Clare was silent for a minute, then she glanced back at him. "You two doing okay? You and Connie?"

He nodded, not exactly sure what she meant. "It's hard for both of us to see Ryleigh there and not be able to bring her home."

She shook her head and smiled. "No, I mean the two of you. Everything still going okay?"

He smiled. "Yeah, it is. Being able to do this together has been amazing."

"You know, I wasn't surprised when we found out the two of you were together. There was always something going on between you two and it wasn't hard to figure out what that something was." She laughed. "But it was kinda fun to watch you try to act all 'we're just friends' every day."

Clare was the second person to say that to him and it made him wonder just how obvious he and Connie were. "But we _were_ friends," he protested, a little halfheartedly.

She shrugged. "It's okay. I'm sure that's what it was at first. But damn, the two of you had as much chemistry as your characters so it's really no wonder." She sat forward, her hands on her knees. "I'm just glad you made it work. It's not always so easy to do that."

Just then they were called to the set. As he walked over behind Clare, he knew she was comparing it to her situation with Sam. The two of them had had a similar kind of situation. The characters had chemistry and they had also had chemistry offscreen. The difference was that the two of them had not been able to make it last and it had ended hard and painfully. He wanted to think that he and Connie wouldn't have done the same, at some point, but they hadn't had to test it. Connie had gotten unexpectedly pregnant and it had allowed him to be where he'd wanted to be all along.

* * *

When he walked into the NICU, he saw the screen up around Ryleigh's crib. He felt some anxiety and frowned, wondering what was going on. He'd had no texts or calls from Connie, and he was sure she'd reach out if something was wrong, so he walked quickly and rounded the screen. Connie was in the chair, a shawl over her shoulder as she was looking down. He realized she had Ryleigh in her arms and that's when she looked up. Her face looked like it was glowing, her eyes sparkling and a smile on her face. "She's nursing, Chip," she said, her voice filled with joy. "Just now."

He swallowed over the lump in his throat. "She is?" Connie nodded and lifted the shawl so he could see. He felt the tears in his eyes and then he smiled, thinking it was the most beautiful sight he'd seen in a very long time. He took a couple steps towards her and, balancing with his hands on the arms of the chair, he leaned in and kissed her. "So does this mean we can take her home?" he asked.

"The nurse said we should talk to the doctor, but she thinks it could be in just a couple days."

He pulled the other chair closer to her and sat down. "How does it feel?" he asked, a happy smile crossing his face.

She made a little bit of a face. "It's not like I thought it would be, for sure. But I do feel so connected to her now, in a different way than just holding her." She smiled then and he saw the hint of tears in her eyes. "I feel like a mom now. _Her_ mom," she said softly. "This wasn't something I got to do with Yoby, but I understand now why it's such a bonding thing." She looked down at the baby then and lifted her up onto her shoulder, gently rubbing her back. She looked back at him. "We'll be complete now. She'll be home with us. Where she belongs."

**Connie**

She was standing in the middle of the nursery. Everything had arrived and she pointed to where she wanted him to put everything. Then she looked around the room, trying to decide if it looked right. "Can you move the chair over there?" she asked him, pointing to the opposite corner, near the window.

"Anywhere you want," he said and when he got it moved over where she wanted, she was satisfied.

She picked up a small pink blanket that felt as soft as velvet but was still lightweight enough for summer and placed it on the rail of the crib. Then she arranged a couple of white pillows embroidered with pink and blue flowers, given to her by her friend Ruthie. And finally she added a more substantial white blanket, edged with pink satin, to the chair, draping it over the back and arm. She stepped back to check if it was right.

"That looks perfect," she said. "I like having the sunlight coming through and streaming over the chair." She looked around again. Ryleigh would be coming home the next day and she and Chip had been working hard trying to get everything organized and put together. She had hung up and put away all the tiny clothes. She'd put bedding on the crib. She frowned as she looked at it.

"Please don't ask me to move that," he said and she looked over at him.

She smiled, then pointed. "No, I was just thinking that I want that bassinet in our bedroom." She looked at him hopefully. "Do you mind? Just at first. I want her close to us."

He walked over and put his arms around her, pulling her in close. "I was thinking the same thing," he said. he kissed her and she felt a warmth rush through her. When she thought about the fact that they had done this together, she felt happy. They had gone through a lot together in the year they'd known each other, but this had been what had really pulled them together. Ryleigh was the glue. He tugged on her lip and she opened her mouth to his, letting herself relax into the kiss. When he finally let her go, he smiled. "I love you," he murmured.

She smiled. "I love you too."

He stepped back and went over to the bassinet. "Show me where you want it," he said.

* * *

Chip had taken Yoby with him to pick up take out. She took the opportunity to call Carla. "Hey, girlfriend," she said when Carla picked up.

"Hey! Are you ready to bring that baby home?" Carla practically squealed and she had to laugh.

"Yes, I am," she said. "Chip and I spent all afternoon getting the nursery set up just the way we wanted. And then I had him move the bassinet into our room."

"He didn't mind, though, did he?"

"No, he thought it was a good idea." She sighed. "She's still so tiny. I don't want her down the hall from me. I mean, from us."

"Connie, you're the mama. It's okay to say 'me'."

She shook her head. "I try not to though. I guess I was saying that a lot and he was really hurt, thinking that I didn't see her as ours." She smiled then. "But he's so good with her. I swear she actually fits completely in his hands. And I love watching him hold her. it almost made me want another one."

"Seriously?"

She laughed. "Well, seriously for about a minute. I really did love being pregnant, Carla, but I don't think I want to go through that again. And I really do think I'm too old now. I told Chip there could be no slip ups from now on."

Carla laughed gaily. "Are you two still like rabbits?"

She felt her skin get warm. "Carla!" she said.

"Sweetie, it's nothing you haven't already told me. You can't look at him without wanting to tear his clothes off and didn't you tell me he's always up for that? In a manner of speaking?"

It felt like her face was on fire. "Stop."

Carla laughed again. "Oh, good grief. You try to act like you're some dainty soul and you just want to fuck him every chance you get. This must be killing you to wait. Him too, I would imagine. You really sure you want your daughter in the room with you? It could cramp your style."

She smirked. "I think we'll be fine. And it's not like we're going to keep her in there until she leaves for college. But I _do_ love him. And I love that part of our life, so that's true."

"Well, it's a fact that he adores _you_. He can never take his eyes off of you. And you, missy, can't keep your hands off him, like you want everyone to know he belongs to you." She paused. "It's sweet. You know I'm really glad you have all that you have in your life right now."

"I'm glad too." She heard the back door open. "Okay, so Yoby and Chip are back with dinner, so I need to run."

"I'm so happy Ryleigh's coming home, babe. Enjoy her."

She turned as Chip walked in and he held up the food. She put her phone down and smiled. "Thai?"

He nodded. "Your favorite."

She got up and walked around the sofa. When she was standing in front of him, she put her hand on his chest and lifted her face to kiss him. "Thanks, babe. You're the best."

* * *

She sat on the bed with her knees drawn up slightly, watching Chip as he massaged her feet and ankles with lotion. "Are you nervous at all about having a newborn in the house?" she asked.

He looked at her and shook his head. "Nah, not really. It's been a while since I've done that, but I'm not nervous." He looked at her a second. "Are you?"

She shrugged. "A little. I mean, I know everything is good now. She's breathing fine, her body temp is good, she's finally breastfeeding and gaining weight. But she's still so little."

He smiled. "_All_ babies are little, Connie."

She made a face. "I know, but you know what I mean. _Really_ little. I don't want to hurt her."

"You're not gonna hurt her, baby. You're just gonna love her."

"Well..." He stopped what he was doing, tossing the lotion aside. Then he moved up on the bed to sit next to her, putting his arm around her and kissing her forehead.

"You aren't gonna break her, baby. You're gonna get to do all the things you've been wanting to. Like bathing her and dressing her up and feeding her and holding her. Putting her to bed at night. You'll be able to walk around with her, all you want."

She smiled up at him, then leaned her head against his shoulder. "I'm excited and a little nervous. Yoby was so much older, so I have nothing to compare it to. But you're right. She'll be here, with us, and we can start to be that family we wanted."

He kissed her again. "That's right. So I think we should get some sleep so we're ready for the big day tomorrow."

She smiled at him and then they both slid under the covers. He put his arm around her and she turned on her side, nestled into him, her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest. He turned out his light and settled in. It wasn't long before she heard, and felt, his even breathing. But she lay there, wide awake, for some time before she finally drifted off herself. It would be a big day for them and she couldn't wait.

**Chip**

When he woke up, he was alone in bed. He got up and headed for the stairs. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught movement in the nursery, and he stopped. He went to stand in the doorway and saw that there were several items of clothing laying on the chair and the dresser. "Connie?" he called out.

She stepped out of the closet. She smiled when she saw him. "Hey, babe. I'm trying to pick out Ryleigh's coming home outfit," she said.

"She really needs one?"

She shrugged. "Well, I don't know if she _needs_ one, but I want her to _have_ one. Something to mark the day." She beckoned him with her index finger. "Come here." He walked over to chair, where she was headed. She had something in her hand, but she pointed at the chair. "So she could wear a onesie or maybe a little dress." She laid the dress she had her hand over the back of the chair, then waved her hand across everything. "What do you think?"

He looked at what she had. "I think a dress would be too much," he said. "And probably too big."

She smiled a little sadly. "You're probably right. So a onesie then?"

He didn't remember hearing the term 'onesie' before, but it looked shapeless. He grimaced a little and shook his head. "I don't know. Don't you have something with legs?"

She raised her finger. "You're right. I have the perfect thing." She went over to the dresser and finally pulled something out. She held it up to her chest and turned to face him, a smile on her face. It was like tiny baby pajamas. There were tiny pink pajama pants, but the top had written across it in pink cursive letters 'Daddy's Little Girl'.

He felt a lump in his throat. He just nodded. Satisfied, she folded them and laid them on the chair arm, then picked up everything else and put it away.

* * *

As they drove to the hospital, he would glance over from time to time. Her hands and fingers couldn't stay still. She was smoothing out the tiny clothes in her lap or picking at hems and borders. At the last minute she'd brought a light blanket and it was folded and nestled underneath the pajamas. They had put the car seat in the back of his car, hoping they had done it properly. A nurse would check it though before they left with Ryleigh, to be sure it was installed correctly. She had dressed carefully, wearing a sleeveless button-down blouse and shorts. She had pulled her hair back into a loose bun, wispy tendrils of her hair loose around her face. Even without makeup, she looked young and fresh, a glow about her.

She'd been mostly quiet on the ride. Then just before they got to the hospital, she turned towards him. "I can't believe we're finally getting to pick her up and bring her home. I just wish I could hold her the whole way home."

He smiled. "Do you want to sit in the back seat on the way home? So you can sit next to her?"

She frowned just a little as she thought. "I don't know. I feel like I'd be abandoning you. Plus it's not like I can hold her just because I'm back there."

"It's okay if you want to," he said.

"I don't know. I guess I'll decide once we get back to the car with her." She reached over and put her hand on his thigh. "I hope we don't disappoint her."

He looked at her and then laughed. "Connie, we've both successfully been parents. I think we'll be okay."

She smiled a little apologetically. "I know," she said, then paused. "it's just that this one is _ours_." He wasn't sure what to say to that, so he focused on the road and took a deep breath, holding in his emotions.

**Connie**

She didn't know why she felt so nervous. Chip was right – they had already negotiated parenthood, although she hadn't done it nearly as long as he had. This would be the only baby she'd carried inside her, though. The only baby she gave birth to, who was her flesh and blood together with the flesh and blood of the man holding her hand tightly as they headed up the elevator. She clasped the blanket and pajamas she'd brought to take Ryleigh home in, close to her heart. She looked up at Chip and he glanced back at her and smiled. She leaned her face against his upper arm and closed her eyes.

She hadn't told him that her dreams had been filled with moments where she forgot where she'd left Ryleigh or where she left her in the car or where she'd even forgotten she had a baby. That last one had been the one to wake her up early that morning and propelled her to the nursery. She had filled the time with smelling baby clothes and blankets, although there was no baby smell permeating them yet. She'd smoothed them out, folded and refolded tiny pajamas and onesies and dresses, blankets and wash cloths and towels. She'd taken books out of the closet and placed them on the table by the chair. She'd laid a little comb and hairbrush on the dresser, even though Ryleigh didn't even really have hair yet. She leaned in and smelled the fragrance of the vase of flowers she'd also put on the table by the chair, flowers sent by Chip's mom and sister to welcome their daughter home. Miniature pink roses and snow white baby's breath. She had said she wasn't a fan of the traditional pink for girls and blue for boys, but she'd found herself gravitating towards pink anyway when picking out things for her baby.

The elevator stopped and she breathed in deeply as she let Chip lead her off. They walked down to the NICU and then he turned to her. "Are you excited?" he asked, with a smile.

She smiled back. "So excited."

He nodded. "Me too." He brushed her lips with his. "Let's go bring our girl home."

* * *

When they had walked into the NICU and over to Ryleigh, she started to cry. But they were happy tears, as she looked down at her daughter. She'd changed so much in the just over 3 weeks since she'd been born. She looked healthy and her eyes looked clear as she had bent over Ryleigh. Her little arms and legs were moving and she made little smacking noises with her mouth. She'd dressed her in the little pajamas that were, of course, too big. She rolled up the sleeves to her wrists and the pajama legs to her ankles. She picked her up and loosely wrapped the blanket around her before settling her in her arms.

As she always did, when Chip bent over her and rubbed her hand, she grasped his finger. "You wanna go home with your mama and daddy?" he asked softly and she waved her arms, seeming to say 'yes'. He kissed Ryleigh on her forehead and then he turned to look at her. "You ready?" he asked.

She nodded, feeling the tears again. "Yes," she whispered. He kissed her gently on the mouth, his arm around her waist. Then he kissed her again.

One of the nurses went out with them and waited with her while Chip went to get the car. When he pulled around, the nurse checked out the car seat and, with a slight adjustment, pronounced them ready to go. Chip took Ryleigh from her and put her in the car seat, making sure she was firmly strapped in. He looked at her. "Why don't you get in on the other side," he suggested.

"I don't think I'm going to sit back here after all," she said, shaking her head.

"I want to get a picture of the two of you."

"Oh, okay," she said. She hurried around to the other side of the car, getting in and sliding across the seat. Chip directed her to get her face down near Ryleigh's and to take her hand. She pushed the blanket back so that the 'Daddy's Little Girl' inscription was unobstructed. She grasped Ryleigh's hand and leaned in close while Chip took a couple shots. She then walked back around to the passenger side and got in the car, while Chip got in the driver's seat. They smiled at each other and then he started the ignition and they headed home.

**Chip**

The baby was quiet the whole way home. He and Connie had talked quietly about their plans once they got home. He thought she seemed a little nervous. She was twisting her hands in her lap and so he reached over and covered them with his. She looked at him. "It's gonna be okay, baby," he said.

She breathed in deeply. "What if she won't nurse when she gets home? Or she starts to lose weight again? Or...?"

He squeezed her hands. "It's all gonna be fine," he said, trying to reassure her. "They wouldn't have let her leave if they weren't sure she'd be okay. Remember, the doctor said she'd probably sleep a lot, but that she really will be better at home. With us." He had persuaded her to let Yoby stay with friends the first night and then those friends had suggested he stay another night or two, just to let them get Ryleigh settled in and start a routine. He'd been surprised when she agreed.

She nodded. "I know. You're right." She smiled then. "I'm so glad she's coming home. I've hated that she was at the hospital all this time. It was just so unsettling." She slid one hand from under his and put it on top, then squeezed gently. "And I have you." She smiled at him.

When they pulled into the driveway, he got out and got everything they'd brought from the hospital. The nurse had given them preemie diapers and he made sure to bring those. Connie got out on her side and opened the door to get Ryleigh. He watched as she leaned in and unbuckled Ryleigh, lifting her up and holding her against her chest. She kept the blanket over her as she kissed Ryleigh gently on the top of her head. Then she made a little noise and looked at him.

He frowned. "What?"

She bit her lip and then laughed a little. "I've really got to feed her now," she said.

He was confused. "You do?"

She nodded. "Mm hm. I need to get inside before I just open my shirt right here on the driveway." She scurried up the walk and the steps to the front porch. He followed behind and unlocked the door, letting her in. He went back out to the car to bring the rest of Ryleigh's things in. When he got back, Connie was sitting on the couch, her blouse unbuttoned and her bra unhooked. She had a look of bliss on her face as she held Ryleigh against her as the baby sucked on her nipple.

He felt a roughness in his throat as he watched. It had always been such a beautifully intimate thing. Watching made him feel both humbled and a little envious. It was something he'd never been able to do for his kids and now for Ryleigh. He could feed her with a bottle, but it wasn't the same. There was a bond that got built that he would have to build in a different way. He walked up behind her and leaned over, kissing Connie on her forehead. She looked up at him and smiled, then turned her attention back to Ryleigh. He leaned down farther. "I love you," he whispered.

She leaned back against the couch. "I love _you_." She looked up at him. "I'm so happy." He walked around the couch and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders and watched Connie and their daughter.

_Our daughter._ He sometimes, still, wanted to pinch himself. That he was with Connie at all felt like he'd died and gone to heaven. He did still have some regret about how things had gone down. Not that they had, but that it had been so painful for his kids. And painful for Patty too. He had to own that, and it was not the way he would have wanted it to happen. He looked at Ryleigh again. She had been the one who had put Connie and him on a faster path than they might have otherwise taken. He liked to believe they would still have ended up together. Was sure of it, actually. But having Ryleigh had set them on this journey much more quickly. And he hadn't regretted it, not even once. He felt a sense of peace he hadn't felt in a long time.

Just then Connie turned to him and handed him the burp towel that had been draped over her shoulder. "Would you like to do the honors?" she asked.

He put the towel on his shoulder and took Ryleigh when she handed her off. He still wasn't used to the fact that Ryleigh's bottom fit neatly in the palm of his hand. He laid her against his shoulder putting his hand on her back.

Connie smiled. "You want me to show you what to do?" she asked.

He smirked. "I _have_ done this before, you know."

"Yeah, I guess you have." She sat back against the arm of the couch, her arms crossed over her chest. "I love watching you with her," she murmured. She slid her bare foot across the couch and tapped at his leg. "You don't have to be envious, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know you watch when I feed her and feel left out."

He frowned. "I don't feel left out."

She shrugged and smiled. "I think you feel like it's something she only shares with me and that you won't get a similar chance. But she's going to love you so much. She's going to be a daddy's girl, so I think that makes up for it. I get something with her, for a while, but you'll have that her whole life."

He started to argue the point, but then thought about it. Maybe she was right. Taylor and Addie had always had a special relationship with him and he missed it. To think he would possibly have that with Ryleigh made him smile. This life with Connie had proven to be so much more than he could have ever dreamed of.

**Connie**

She really loved watching Ryleigh with Chip. She knew without a doubt that their daughter was going to have him wrapped around her little finger. And he would love every minute of it. Although people told her that babies – newborns – didn't always favor one parent or another, she was certain she saw more Chip in Ryleigh than herself. And that made her happy. She smiled to herself as she watched him rub Ryleigh's back, as he pressed his cheek against the top of her head.

She had wondered for a long time if she'd find a man she would love, who would look inside her and see her soul. Her first marriage was so long ago and she had forgotten really what it was that had made her think, at such a young age, that she was ready for that type of commitment. So when they had divorced, she really hadn't looked back. She had thought it might happen in her thirties, and she had dated a lot of wonderful men, some of whom grew into relationships, but in the end it wasn't the right match. She didn't see herself growing old with any of them. And then Chip had walked in the door for the table read. She had gravitated mostly to younger men, but he was her age. They'd grown up during the same time period, understood things about each other she had not with the other men she'd dated. He was solid. He was someone she could see growing old with.

But he was married. That part of it had been tough. It still lurked at the corners of her mind, that her happiness was at the expense of someone else's. Even though he'd always maintained that it wasn't a satisfactory marriage, she would wonder. And when she discovered she was pregnant, she wouldn't have been surprised if he'd turned tail and run. Disappointed, devastated, but not surprised. But he hadn't. He'd turned away from that other life, at great expense, and focused on her. Together they had made the sweet angel he held in his hands.

She felt herself get a little teary. He looked over at her then and she smiled. "You okay?" he asked, a concerned look on his face. It was one of the reasons she loved him so much. He always noticed things about her, seemed to sense her moods, and stood steadfastly next to her.

"I'm great," she said. "It's just so sweet looking at the two of you." Just then Ryleigh let out a soft burp and they both laughed. "At least it's not one of those big, boisterous, loud ones Yoby likes to do."

He grinned as he adjusted Ryleigh in his arms. "Let's hope she doesn't learn it. That was pretty nice and ladylike." He looked down at her, nestled in his arms. "She's already asleep," he said, almost in a whisper. "Should we put her down?"

She nodded. "I think so." They both got up and he moved towards her to hand Ryleigh off, but she shook her head. "It's okay for you to take her." She put her hand on his back as he moved to the stairs and then followed him up to their bedroom. He headed for the changing table, where she had laid out the blanket they would use to swaddle her. When he had set her down on the blanket, she swaddled her the way the nurses had shown her and then lifted her and set her down in the bassinet.

They stood there, looking down at their daughter, watching her chest rise and fall. It felt like such a miracle she was home, even though they'd known from almost the beginning that she wouldn't be in the hospital long. She watched her daughter sleep, enchanted by how tiny, but perfect, every one of her features was. A little crease developed between her eyes and then smoothed out a second later. She smacked her tiny rosebud lips once, then again. Her face was starting to fill in and her skin was velvety smooth, with just a hint of pink.

Chip put his arm around her and she looked up at him, then slid her arm around his waist. "She's so beautiful, isn't she?" she asked.

He nodded. "She is that." he breathed in deeply, then let it out. "These last few weeks have felt like forever, but now she's here where she belongs." He leaned towards her and kissed her on the forehead as she leaned into him. "You were strong and brave and you did a great job of taking care of her until she was born." He smiled. "I'm proud of you."

She could feel herself blush. "I couldn't have done it without you," she murmured. Then she smiled. "Literally I couldn't." He grinned. She turned towards him, putting her other arm around his waist, as he wrapped her up in his arms, pulling her in close.

"I think we both did good," he said. "Together." He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. The gentle pressure made her open her mouth to his, kissing him deeply. As always, when they kissed, she could feel herself get lightheaded, as she thought about this wonderful life they would have with Yoby and Ryleigh. Their own special life that was good. And then all that fell to the wayside as she let him carry her away with the feel of his lips and tongue and the taste of him. It was like heaven on earth.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chip**

He was sitting in his trailer, in between scenes, and raised his phone to his ear. "Hey, son," his mom said when she picked up. "How was the first night home?"

He couldn't help but smile. "Hectic. Humbling. Amazing," he responded. "Sometimes all at once."

"Taking care of an infant can certainly be challenging," she said.

"Connie did better than me. I mean, it's been a long time since I had to take care of an infant. Luckily she wasn't that demanding." He paused. "So when are you coming?"

"Cathy and I decided to fly down next week. She's taking care of getting us an Airbnb nearby."

He frowned. "You really don't have to do that, you know. The two of you can stay with us," he said. She had told him that when she'd first talking about coming to see Ryleigh. He'd hoped she would change her mind, but apparently not.

"Oh, honey, no. You don't need guests while you're getting used to a newborn. Besides, it isn't just the two of us."

"Who else?" He held his breath.

"Taylor, Chase, and Addie," she said. "Cathy can only stay a week, and then they will come after she leaves, but you seriously don't need us all there at any given time." She paused. "Besides, I think having a separate place to stay would be the best way to handle this."

He was sitting up straight in the chair. "They still want to come?"

He could hear the smile in her voice. "They do. They want to meet their baby sister."

He looked up towards the ceiling of the trailer and blinked several times. "Does it mean...?"

"it means they're more open to...the possibilities. I would just let things happen as they do, Chip. You and Connie both." She paused. "Can you do that?"

She had always told him he was too impatient. About everything. He also knew he needed to just let things happen naturally. "Yeah," he said. "I'll do my best."

"I mean it, Chip. This wasn't a simple decision for them."

He knew he shouldn't feel angry, but he did a little. "Why not?" He could hear the stubbornness in his voice, hear the irritation.

She sighed on the other end of the line. "Chip, this was not a simple thing for them. Or easy. It's a lot to absorb when you find out that your parents are getting divorced and your dad already is in a relationship with someone else. And then add the complication that that someone else is pregnant." She paused and he waited. "Connie is lovely. She makes you happy, something I now realize you hadn't been. But the kids love Patty. She's their mom. And right now, choosing you, even for a short time, feels disloyal to her. She's the injured party..."

He frowned. "Mom," he said, interrupting. "That's not..."

"I get it, Chip. It's not like that. So you say. But the kids don't look at it that way. You walked out on them. That's how they see it. But they also love you. You're their dad. But they're conflicted. And now they have a baby sister, and no matter how this all goes, she's not to blame just because she was born." She sighed. "Look, I'm not trying to stir things up for you. I just want you to go into this with eyes wide open. Don't push, the way I know you do. Don't try to overcompensate, the way I know you do. _Try_, Chip."

He sighed. "Okay," he said. He knew she was right. He needed to play it cool, not get too excited and go overboard. This would be a big step, for all of them, and he wanted to be sure he was playing it right.

* * *

He sat watching the production crew set up for his next scene. It was an emotional scene with Clare. Actually all of the scenes were like that, as Deacon worked through everything after the accident and after finding out about Maddie. He also had an emotional scene with Connie in the episode, once she was ready to return to work. She had still talked little about that, had not spoken to either Callie or Dee about it, and didn't particularly want to.

_She was standing in the middle of their bedroom with Ryleigh, while he was sitting on the bed pulling on his boots. It was super early and Ryleigh had been up and down all night, so he was already exhausted. "It's like a million degrees outside," she said. "How can you wear those boots?"_

_He looked up and she was smiling. He smiled back. "I'm gonna have to wear 'em for my scenes today, so I might as well." He got up from the bed and walked over to her. He put one hand on the back of Ryleigh's head and the other on her waist. He leaned in to kiss her. "What are __you__ doing today?"_

_She was rubbing Ryleigh's back. "Well, maybe sleeping. Hopefully she'll finally go back down and I can get a little nap. Plus I need to start getting things straightened up for your mom and everyone."_

"_They're not staying here, so you don't have to," he said._

_She gave him a quizzical look. "You're sure they don't want to stay with us?"_

"_Mom thought it was too much." He leaned down and kissed the top of Ryleigh's head, then kissed her. "You don't need all that to deal with anyway, on top of a new baby."_

"_But it's your mom, your sister, Chip," she protested._

_He smiled. "I know. But there's a lot going on right now, and you don't need that too." He cleared his throat. "You heard from Dee or Callie lately?"_

_She frowned. "No. But Greg's handling all that, you know, running interference for me." She made a noise. "I half want to tell them I'm not coming back."_

_He frowned. "You're not really serious, are you?"_

_She frowned back at him. "Would it be so terrible if I didn't? I mean, this is our daughter I'm talking about. I'd be doing it for her. To be there for all these new moments, to be a real mama to her, like I didn't get to be with Yoby." She really looked angry. "Is that really what you're thinking?"_

_He shook his head. "Nah. I'm sorry, baby. I just..."_

_She sighed then. "I know what you meant. But I have an infant who just spent three weeks in the hospital." She nuzzled her nose into Ryleigh's neck. "I just would hate to leave her every day," she said, her voice filled with tears._

_He pulled the two of them into his arms and shushed her quietly. "I know. I was being selfish," he said, as he held them tightly._

_She looked up at him. "I know you want me to come back. I guess I'm just not ready yet and I really just don't want to think about it right now." She tried to smile. "Give me a minute to get used to having her home."_

He thought about the look on her face, the sadness he saw in her eyes. He was being selfish. But without her, the show wouldn't work. And after it had taken so long for the network to confirm renewal, he felt like they were on shaky ground enough as it was. But she was his partner, the love of his life, the mother of his youngest daughter, and that was more important. He breathed in deeply, knowing he'd take whatever happened in stride if it was what she wanted.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Clare walk up and sit in the chair next to him. "Hey," she said, a smile on her face.

"Hey."

"I was sorta surprised our scene wasn't rescheduled," she said.

"You were?" he asked.

She nodded. "I mean, you just brought your baby home, right?" He nodded. "They could have given you a few days."

He smiled. "Maybe. But it's just this one scene and it's just this morning. And it gives Connie some alone time with the baby."

Clare smiled. "You're a good man, Chip. I hope Connie appreciates that."

He just chuckled.

**Connie**

She stood by the bassinette. Ryleigh was still sleeping. Actually it was more like she was _finally_ sleeping. Yoby had been a good sleeper, but then he'd also been 6 months old when she brought him home. She felt like she'd been up and down all night. Chip kept telling her he could help, but she wanted to do it herself, get Ryleigh to comfort herself. She didn't cry a lot but she was fussy and couldn't seem to settle down for long. So she walked her and nursed her and changed her and cuddled with her.

At 3 in the morning, she wasn't sure she could do it anymore and she cried. That was when Chip shushed her and got up with Ryleigh, carrying her into the nursery. When she woke up again, he was back in bed beside her and Ryleigh was asleep. The baby had woken up briefly when Chip got up to go to work and then went right back down.

She was happy Ryleigh was home, but she hadn't known it would be like this to have a newborn. When they first put her down, she had fallen asleep quickly and she had whispered to Chip that maybe Ryleigh would be an easy baby. _Don't say that out loud, baby, or it'll never be this way again._ Seemed like he'd been right. _This_ was not easy. But she was sleeping, so she thought maybe it was a good time for a shower. She stood a little longer though, just watching her baby.

Ryleigh's breathing was even. Her tiny lips were pursed together. Her skin color was good, which made her realize how pale Ryleigh had been when she was born. She had just a few wisps of dark hair on her head. She'd told Chip she thought Ryleigh looked like him.

"_She __does__, babe," she murmured. Chip was holding her as they sat on the couch in the den. She leaned over and touched her finger to Ryleigh's nose very gently. Ryleigh looked around and finally focused her eyes on her._

_Chip looked at her and smiled. "She knows her mama," he said. "And looks like her too."_

_She shook her head. "She has your blue eyes. And your hair color." She let her fingers trail through the hair on the back of his head._

_He had gently laughed. "Connie, you have blue eyes. And don't forget, I know you're a brunette."_

_She frowned. "How do you know __that__?" she asked._

"_Well, you told me. After I asked." She frowned again and he gave her a side eye and a rakish grin. "When one color is not like the other..."_

_She felt herself get red in the face. "Chip," she said sternly, but he just laughed._

She felt a little warm then, when she thought of it. Right down there. She squeezed her legs together and then decided she really needed to take advantage of Ryleigh sleeping and take a shower. She picked up the baby monitor and walked into the bathroom.

* * *

She wrapped Ryleigh up in a towel after she had bathed her, drying her off carefully. "Will you sleep better for mama tonight, baby girl?' she whispered. Ryleigh's eyes seemed to widen just a bit and she lifted her tiny hand to her mouth. She carried her to the changing table and put a diaper on her, then nuzzled the baby's tummy. "You smell so good, little girl," she said. Ryleigh seemed to smile at her, waving her arms around. She suddenly wanted to cry, but breathed in deeply, laughing at herself. "Your mama is such a crybaby, did you know that?" she asked. Ryleigh seemed to be staring at her intently. "I wanted you so badly and thought I'd never get the chance." She smiled. "But here you are and you're so precious and I love you so much." She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Ryleigh's forehead. "Let's get you dressed, how about that?"

She reached for the little onesie she'd laid out before Ryleigh's bath. She couldn't remember who'd given it to her, but in pink cursive letters slanted across the outfit, it read 'Little Sister'. She had to wave her hand in front of her face to keep from crying. She looked at her daughter, who seemed to be staring into her eyes. "I have to stop this," she said, and she heard the shakiness in her voice. "Your brother and your daddy will laugh at me." She worked Ryleigh into the onesie and then slid a tiny cotton cap on her head. The nurses at the hospital had told her to have Ryleigh wear one regularly.

She picked Ryleigh up and held her in her arms, swaying back and forth. "Let's go sit in our comfy chair, shall we?" she asked, as she headed for the nursery. When she sat in the chair, Ryleigh started to root around a little and she reached for a burp cloth. Then she unbuttoned her top and unfastened her bra and let Ryleigh find her nipple. She sat back in the chair and watched her daughter. She could feel the gentle tugging and adjusted the baby a bit. The nurses also told her that she might feel sore at first – and she did – but that she would get used to it. In spite of the discomfort, she loved the feeling of bonding with her baby and was mostly grateful she was able to do it at all. Ryleigh was still very small, but she felt heavier than she had the very first time she'd held her in the hospital. She had seemed so fragile then and she and Chip were both glad to see her more filled out.

"Your big brother should be home in a day or so," she said, continuing to talk to her daughter. "He's been so excited. He was the one who gave you your very first stuffed animal – the unicorn. He's been waiting for you to come home, so I think maybe tomorrow we'll get him. And then your grandmother will be here and your Aunt Cathy." She sighed. "And we hope your other brother and your sisters will come meet you too." She ran her finger over Ryleigh's cheek. "One day we'll have to tell you about that, but just know that your daddy and I love you very much and we're so happy we had you. We'll always love you, sweet girl. I don't want you to ever forget that."

* * *

She heard the door open and close when Chip came home. She was laying on her side on the bed, with Ryleigh sound asleep next to her. She never wanted to stop watching her. She heard Chip's footsteps on the stairs and then down the hall.

"Hey," he said from behind her.

She turned her head in his direction for a second. "Hey."

"What's going on?"

"I'm watching Ryleigh sleep." He walked to the other side of the bed and got on it, being careful not to jostle the bed too much, turning onto his side to face her and Ryleigh. She smiled. "You were later than I thought you'd be."

"Lotta takes. Still home early though," he said, giving her a smile. "What have you been doing all day?"

She ran her fingers over his cheek. "Just watching her."

He smirked. "Not surprised." He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm. "She been sleeping all day?"

She shook her head. "No. I gave her a bath and fed her and then we just hung out and talked. About boys and school and what her dreams are." She grinned.

He raised his eyebrows and grinned back. "Sounds like a productive day. Although I think I may have to have a boy talk with her as well." Just then, Ryleigh opened her eyes and stretched one arm, kicking her feet just a little. Then she looked around until her eyes focused on Chip. He leaned over and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Hey there, baby girl," he murmured. He pressed his nose on her chest and rubbed it a little. Then he looked up at her. "Someone needs changing," he said. She waited. He pushed up. "Looks like the someone who's gonna do the changing is me."

She just smiled.

**Chip**

He brought Ryleigh back to the bed, freshly changed and smelling of – a little too much – powder. It had been a long time since he'd changed tiny diapers and, as he had done so, he was again amazed at how very small she was. It had been more than a decade since he'd had a newborn and he'd found that the wonder of a brand new life was still as sweet and thrilling as it had been then. She was a squirmy baby, not particularly helpful as he tried to get her cleaned up and into one of the little preemie diapers the hospital had sent them home with. He dressed her in a fresh onesie and then he looked at her for a moment before he picked her up, looking for resemblances. She did have beautiful crystal blue eyes, which he guessed were more like his own, Connie's being a darker blue. She had the usual little button nose a baby had, so no clue there. And what little hair she had was dark, maybe more like his own. His mom had told him, back when Taylor had been born, that it typically took a little time for baby's features to develop, so he supposed they'd have to wait with Ryleigh as well.

As he handed the baby to Connie, she smiled. "Thanks, babe," she said. "I just feel like all I've been doing today is feeding her and changing her."

He resumed his position on the bed and laughed. "I thought y'all were solving the problems of the world," he said. "Or at least the problems of _her_ world."

She laughed. "Well, maybe I did all the talking. She was a captive audience and a good listener."

He looked at her intently. "My mom called today," he said.

"Really? When is she coming?"

"Next week. With Cathy." He breathed in, then out. "She rented an Airbnb."

She ran her tongue over her bottom lip. "I think that's probably a good choice after all. They can come by in the morning and stay as long as they want, but I think it will be good for them to have some space to decompress." He nodded, then watched as she looked down at Ryleigh. "Did she say anything about your kids?"

"Not exactly." She looked back up at him. "At least exactly when they're coming. Just that they wanted to."

She looked at him and then sighed. "I'm worried about you, Chip," she said.

He screwed up his face. "Me? Why?"

"I know you're counting on this to just be one big happy family kind of thing."

He shook his head and frowned. "No, I know it's not going to be like that."

She reached out and touched his wrist. "But you're thinking that when they get here, they'll be under Ryleigh's spell and everything will work out." He looked off to the side. "But it probably won't."

"You don't know that for sure."

"Maybe not, but I think it's closer to being true than not. Sweetie, I broke up their family." He bristled. "It's true. Because of me, you're here and they're there and they won't be coming here after all. And then, you know, I think they probably thought you hung the sun and the moon and they found out you're just human, not perfect."

He looked back at her. "Connie, you don't know that." He looked at Ryleigh, then back at her. "Maybe when they come, seeing Ryleigh makes a difference."

She gave him a sad smile. "That's a lot to put on a tiny baby." She rubbed his arm. "They may fall in love with _her_, but it doesn't mean they'll fall in love with _me_. Look, I know you don't like it when I say we had an affair, but that's how they look at it. You _know_ they do. It probably would have been one thing if that's all it had been. But I got pregnant. There's a real live baby. It turned everything upside down. It would be one thing for them to see her and love her in spite of that, but there's no guarantee."

He rolled his eyes and looked away. "You sound just like my mom."

"Maybe we're both right, Chip." Just then Ryleigh made a little mewling noise. "Oh dear, I need to feed her. She pressed her hand on his wrist and he turned to look at her. "Just don't expect too much and then maybe you'll be surprised. I think it's unrealistic to expect them to accept me, right now for sure, and maybe they never will. But I want you to have a good relationship with them and I'm not going to stand in the way." She smiled. "I love you, Chip, and I'm right there beside you." She slid off the bed then and reached for Ryleigh. She gave him an encouraging smile and walked out of the room.

* * *

He stood in the doorway, each hand pressed against the door jamb. She looked up and smiled and he smiled back. "I just want it all to be good and for everyone to get along," he said.

She nodded. "I know."

He walked across the room and slid into the chair next to her, putting his arm along the back of the chair behind her. He watched her with Ryleigh for a second, then leaned in and kissed her cheek. She smiled. "You're just so much smarter than me," he said. "And I think I want her to get that from you."

She turned her face towards him. "I just know how much this means to you, and I don't want you to screw it up by being too Pollyanna."

He laughed. "Pollyanna?"

She leaned her head back against his arm. "You know. The little girl in the Disney movies who always sees the bright side of everything. Even getting polio, or something."

He was still laughing. "I know who you're talking about, but you think I'm like that?"

She grinned, her eyes squinting merrily. "You are a lot of the time. But it's one of the things I really love about you too. You always look on the bright side." Then she sighed. "But I _am_ serious. I don't think they'll want to see me. So please don't force anything, okay?"

He didn't like hearing her say that. he had hopes that at least Taylor and Chase were willing to give her a shot. "Don't think negative, Connie," he said.

"See that's what I'm talking about. Chip, I really want nothing more than to have a good relationship with your kids. They don't have to love me. I'd like for them to _like_ me, but I don't expect that right away. It's more important to me that they reconnect with _you_. But let's just see how it goes, okay?"

He nodded, then leaned in and kissed her. "Okay." He kissed her again. "You really are the smartest person I know," he said, smiling at her.

**Connie**

She had washed and dried the Little Sister onesie, so Yoby could see it. She was struggling to get it on her daughter. Ryleigh didn't make it easy. For such a young baby, she was surprisingly stubborn about having clothes put on her or even a diaper put on her. She leaned down to Ryleigh's face. "I hope this doesn't mean you're going to want to run around without clothes on, sweetie," she said. Ryleigh stared at her, her mouth open just a bit, almost like she was smiling. That's what she'd decided to tell herself at any rate. "You're going to be meeting your big brother soon and I want you to have just the right outfit for it. So be a good girl and let me get this on you, okay?" She straightened up as she snapped the onesie closed. "And please don't spit up all over it, okay?" She smiled and leaned down again. Ryleigh patted at her nose, as though she wanted to grab it.

She was so in love with her daughter. She really hadn't known how it was possible to let someone else into your life and just expand the love, instead of diminishing it. She had wondered sometimes if she could let anyone else into her heart after Yoby came to her. But her heart had just seemed to expand when Chip came into her life. And now with Ryleigh, it just expanded again. She lifted Ryleigh up and put her against her shoulder. Chip would be home soon, after picking up Yoby. She missed her son and wanted him home with them, so they could start feeling like a family. Yoby knew Ryleigh was coming home and she was anxious to see how he reacted to her.

She headed downstairs and set Ryleigh down in the baby seat that was sitting on the kitchen island. She slid a light blanket over her, tucking it under her arms. She fixed herself some iced tea and then leaned on the counter, staring at her daughter. Ryleigh had such a serious look on her face that it made her smile. She reached out and rubbed the back of her finger on the baby's cheek. Ryleigh jerked her arms out and made a little cooing noise. "Oh my God," she whispered. "You're just the most amazing baby." She smiled. "I'm so glad your daddy and I made you."

Just then she heard the door open and she turned towards the sound. Yoby ran in, his eyes filled with light, a huge smile on his face. "Mama!" he cried, running into her arms.

She grabbed him up and held him tightly, letting herself feel his arms around her neck. Then she pulled back and looked at him. "You're home!" she cried. "I'm so glad to see you." She looked over his shoulder at Chip. He was smiling at her. She looked back at Yoby and then turned back towards Ryleigh. "Here's your sister, Yobes. Ryleigh." He started to reach, so she set him on the counter, next to the baby seat. Ryleigh slowly turned her head to look at him. Chip stepped up beside her, putting his arm around her waist.

Yoby reached out and touched her gently. Ryleigh lifted her arm and he turned towards them with an excited smile on his face. "She likes me," he said softly.

"Well, of course, she does, buddy," she said. "She _loves_ you. You're her big brother."

He patted Ryleigh, very gently, as she stared at him. Yoby looked up at her. "Can I hold her?"

She held her breath for a moment and looked at Chip. He smiled, then looked at Yoby. "Sure you can, buddy," he said. He picked up Yoby and put him on the floor. "Let's go sit on the couch and Mama can bring Ryleigh in."

"Okay!" He ran into the den and jumped up on the couch, with Chip following. She picked up Ryleigh and as she carried her in, noticed Chip slide Yoby over towards the middle and then sit next to him. She walked over and sat on the other side of her son.

Yoby looked so excited and it made her smile. "Scoot back, sweetie," she said. she watched as he moved himself back. "Okay, hold your arms out." Chip helped him get them in the right place. "Now when I put her in your arms, I want you to hold her close, okay?" Yoby nodded. As she shifted Ryleigh from her arms to his, Chip helped him hold her the right way and then kept his hand under Ryleigh's head.

Yoby looked up at her. "She's so little," he said, looking almost awestruck.

She nodded. "Yeah, she is. Your little sister."

Yoby grinned. "Little sister." He looked back down at Ryleigh and she looked over at Chip, her heart full. _Our family._ He looked up then and winked. She felt so complete.

* * *

When Chip got into bed, she snuggled up to him. He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. "You happy?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded. "I'm happy." He rolled onto his side and leaned in to kiss her. She put one hand on his cheek, letting him explore her lips and her mouth. "I love you," she whispered, when he pulled his lips from hers.

He nodded. "I love you too." He kissed her on the forehead. "Thank you for all of this."

She breathed in. "Everything could have been so different," she said.

He shook his head and frowned. "But it's not. It's the way it's supposed to be. It all happens the way it's meant to. I'll never believe anything else."

His words made her want to cry, but she smiled instead. "God bless Nashville then, right?"

He smiled. "The city and the show." He kissed her again, then rolled onto his back. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

**Chip**

He didn't have a lot of time off, not like he usually would. They were filming what they could without Connie and it was compressing the schedule. He knew it wouldn't be long before they would need her to start filming if they were going to start the season on time. Not starting the season on time didn't seem like it was an option, so he worried she would feel pressured to come back to work much sooner than she wanted to. She had turned all of that over to her manager, deciding she couldn't deal with the stress of it while Ryleigh was in the hospital and now newly home.

He felt bad being at work so much, but she reassured him it was okay. Now that Ryleigh was home, she was thrilled to be able to spend as much time as she could with her. Dee and Callie had kept their distance from him, at least from the standpoint of talking about Connie's status. He and Connie hadn't talked about it either, at least not much. it was one of the reasons she'd passed it off. She was tired of thinking about it.

It would be a short day, since he had only two relatively short scenes to film, neither of them speaking scenes. Sometimes those could be the hardest though, having to say everything that was necessary without words, just through a look or a sound. The episode had a lot of Rayna scenes in it, which meant there wasn't as much to film with her not available. By the end of the week, they would be done with this episode and ready to start on the next. Connie would have a lot to catch up on and he wasn't sure how that was going to happen.

He leaned back. It was going to be an issue either way things had gone. If she'd gone full term they would have had to figure out how to disguise her obvious pregnancy. And then how to handle a maternity leave. He sighed. He felt somewhat responsible, although it was not as though it had been planned. Getting to watch her with Ryleigh had been amazing and worth everything they'd gone through. He smiled to himself as he thought about it. Then he sighed. He wanted her back on set. They had talked, some time in the past, about bringing both kids on set when they were working on the same days. He wasn't sure how many scenes they would have together in the beginning or when that might change. Rayna blamed Deacon for the accident and for almost killing her. Deacon took everything on his shoulders willingly. As angry as he'd been before the accident, that seemed to have all vanished when he was afraid she might die. But it seemed likely the writers would keep them apart for a while. There had been talk about bringing on a love interest for Rayna, or having her play the field a little, neither of which felt good. There was also talk of Deacon having a love interest as well and he was not excited about that prospect either.

He didn't have any control though. He just had to read his lines, trying to inject into them whatever emotions or feelings he thought Deacon would have. He hadn't realized how hard it would be to do that without her. it wasn't like she was the only person he had scenes with, but doing them with her had been so much easier. The words were easier, the smiles more genuine, the emotions more real. And the kisses – the kisses had been heaven. It was always hard to keep from kissing her the way he really wanted to, but the love he felt for her and she for him had made them mean more. The chemistry they had off screen had translated into what showed up each week on the small screen. He breathed in deeply and let it out, feeling a peace he only felt with her.

* * *

When he got home, Connie was sitting in the den. When he walked up behind her, he saw she was breastfeeding Ryleigh. She leaned her head back and smiled up at him. "Hey," she said. "Why don't you come sit with us?"

He smiled back. "I think I will." He rounded the couch and sat next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders. She looked at him and he kissed her. He thought he saw something in her eyes when she had first looked at him, but when he sat back, she smiled, and he decided it was nothing.

"How was your day?" she asked.

"Good. Well, good in that we finally got what we wanted out of the scenes we were shooting today. Too many takes, though." He shook his head. "Sometimes I feel like they're just pulling this out of their asses."

She chuckled. "Oh, I remember."

He noticed then that there was a script on the coffee table. He reached for it. It was the first episode script. He flipped through it and saw Connie's notes in the margins. He frowned, then looked back at her, holding up the script.

The light seemed to go out of her then and she looked down at Ryleigh. She didn't say anything at first and he waited her out. Finally she sighed. "It looks like I need to go back to work in about 3 ½ weeks or the season won't start on time." She looked up at him then, a defeated look on her face. "We stretched it out as long as we could, but you know..." He saw the tears trail down her face before she leaned her head against his shoulder. He felt frozen for a moment, then put his hand on the side of her neck and kissed the top of her head.


	20. Chapter 20

**Connie**

She walked slowly from the home office into the den. She felt a little bit like a punching bag by the time the call was over. There had been a tremendous amount of back and forth, trying to settle on a schedule for her return to work. Callie had been surprisingly stubborn and she'd had to concede some things she hadn't wanted to. But she also had to admit that Callie had reminded her why she'd wanted to play Rayna Jaymes. She'd talked about story plans for Rayna for season 2 and, while she didn't love all of them, she felt like it would give her meaty material to work with. She'd have to talk to Chip though, about how they would navigate with Yoby and, particularly, with Ryleigh.

When she walked into the den, she saw Chip sitting on the couch, turned slightly towards the center of it, his head down and his arm on the back of the couch. When she got closer, she saw that Ryleigh was lying on a blanket on the couch next to him. She walked up behind him and leaned over, her hand on his arm. "Hey, you two," she said with a smile. "What are you doing?"

He smiled at her and she kissed him. "Just hanging out with each other," he said. Then he frowned slightly. "That was a longer call than I thought it would be."

She sighed and walked around to sit on the other side of Ryleigh. "Yes, it was," she said. "Callie was really kind of hard ass."

"How so?"

"Basically, I wanted to ease into things a little more, but she's not giving me a lot of leeway."

He reached his hand out and took hers. "Tell me."

"She wants me to come in two days a week until we're caught up. And do all my scenes in those two days."

"For an episode?"

She nodded. "Yes. She said it's no different than what we had originally planned, although that's not really true. But she insisted."

He raised his eyebrows. "Are you kidding me?"

"I wish I were. So, the first week I'll come in and film scenes in the hospital. The coma scenes, the waking up, and then sitting on the outside deck with Lamar. Then the next day we film all Rayna's flashbacks. Which is a whole different thing."

He smiled. "Well, I don't mind filming with you all day."

She smiled and gave him a side eye. "Well, true, but it'll be a very long day. We have to stay until it's dark to film the scene after the crash."

"On location?"

"Well, on _a_ location. And then also at the house they picked for Deacon's cabin." She reached out and ran her finger down Ryleigh's face. The baby kicked her feet and looked up. She leaned forward so Ryleigh could see her face. "What am I gonna do about her?" She looked up at him. "That's what worries me."

"We take her with us," he said, making it sound simple.

"Chip, she'll just be seven weeks old," she protested.

He let Ryleigh grab onto his index finger. "Bring the nanny. She can watch Ryleigh and Yoby while you're on set."

"What about when we're at a location?"

"We'll make sure we have a van." He smiled at her. "We'll make it work, sweetie. You'll get to spend every second you're not filming with her."

She sighed. "it just feels...not right, you know?"

He leaned in and, bringing his finger under her chin, kissed her. "I'll be there too, how about that? And we'll figure it out as we go. She's gonna be fine."

She smiled at him. "I know you're right, but she's just so...young. I know I took Yoby with me but he was older."

"She's not going to remember, Connie. And she'll have you there, pretty much all the time. And sometimes me too."

She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Okay. You win." She smiled at him. "Now, let's not talk about it again until I actually have to work."

They both sat back against the couch. He looked over at her and smiled. "We could talk about my mom coming next week," he said.

**Chip**

He had just gotten the call from his mom that she and Cathy were on the way. He had told her he could pick them up, but she told him that was ridiculous. They would need transportation to and from the Airbnb, which was true, They would be staying just a couple of miles away, but his mom was firm. And he'd learned not to push. He jogged up the steps and down to the nursery. Ryleigh was still sleeping in his and Connie's room, but most of her things were in the nursery, including the oversize chair Connie liked to sit in when she fed Ryleigh. He peeked in but they weren't there. He headed down to the master bedroom.

"Connie?" he called out, stepping into the room.

"I'm getting dressed, babe," she called back. He walked over to the bassinette, where Ryleigh was sleeping. She was wrapped up, with the tiny pink cap on her head. He stood watching her sleep until Connie came up beside him. She put her hand on his back and smiled up at him. "Hey."

He reached his arm around her and leaned in for a kiss. "Hey. So Mom and Cathy are on the way."

She looked down at Ryleigh and then back at him with an apologetic smile. "She might be asleep when they get here."

"It's okay. I think they'll want to come up and take a peek though."

She smiled. "That's fine. So where's Yoby?"

"In his room." He took a look at her then. It was hot in Nashville and she was wearing a pair of shorts and a sleeveless button-down blouse. She'd already lost almost all her baby weight. He could tell, when he held her at night, that her stomach was almost flat. Her breasts were still larger, but he didn't mind that. He smiled at her. "You look pretty."

She smiled back. "Thank you. Except I have no makeup on and my hair isn't styled or anything."

He pulled her against his chest. "I don't mind. I think you look great with no makeup and not doing anything special to your hair. You're gorgeous to me, baby." She put her hand on his cheek and kissed him. He wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her close, kissing her hungrily. When he pulled his lips from hers, he breathed in. "You think you'll be...ready any time soon?"

She opened her mouth slightly and gave him a look of surprise, but there was also amusement in her eyes. "Aren't we supposed to wait six weeks?" she asked.

He groaned. "Really?"

She laughed. "Well, that's what I read, but my doctor said really whenever I feel up to it." She lifted up on her toes and kissed him. "And I've been thinking about that."

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh? And just what have you been thinking?"

"I was thinking we could maybe start taking that creative stuff a little further and just see where it leads us."

He kissed her forehead. "I'm good with that. I've just missed you, baby."

She nodded. "I know. I miss you too." She slid her arms around his neck. "You aren't worried about Ryleigh?

He frowned. "Why would I be worried about Ryleigh?"

"She'll be here in our room. You know."

Now he knew what she was talking about. "Ah, okay. You're afraid she'll be scarred for life by the kinds of things you say when you come?" He grinned.

She turned red. "Chip! No. Oh my God, you're horrible. Besides, what you do is worse."

He laughed out loud and she quickly covered his mouth with her hand. He moved her hand. "I can't promise to be quiet, but you know you can't either. But she's a baby. She won't know what's going on."

"You better hope not." Then she wriggled out of his arms, went to check on Ryleigh and then walked out of the room.

He turned and leaned over the bassinette, looking at his sleeping daughter. "You don't care, do you, sweet girl?" he said softly. He breathed out. "I love your mama, sweetie, more than anyone else in the whole world," he whispered, feeling tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. "I hope that matters to you when you start growing up. I'll do anything to make sure she's happy." He let his fingers brush very lightly across her cheek and then he turned to follow the way Connie had gone.

**Connie**

She and Chip were sitting on the floor with Yoby and his blocks, when Chip's phone buzzed. She looked up as he reached for his phone and then pushed up from the floor. "Hey, Mom," he said. He listened for a moment. "Great. I'll come open the door." He turned back to her. "They're in the driveway. She thought they should call instead of just ringing the doorbell."

She stood up as well. "That was really thoughtful." She grinned. "I can't wait for them to meet Ryleigh."

"And me!" Yoby shouted.

She turned back to him and laughed. "They already know you, Yoby." She reached out her hand. "Come on." He scampered over to her and the three of them walked to the door.

Yoby got unexpectedly shy when Chip opened the door to his mom and sister. She ended up picking him up and balancing him on her hip. After hugging Chip, Cynthia turned to Yoby and smiled broadly. "Hello, young man," she said. "Do you remember me?" Yoby nodded. Cynthia put her hands on his face and kissed his nose. "I'm so glad to see you again. And I can't wait to meet your baby sister." She then turned her eyes on her, still smiling. "Connie, I'm so glad to see you." She put an arm around her and they hugged. "You look wonderful."

"She does, doesn't she?" Chip said. She looked at him and he beamed at her proudly. "You'd never know she just had a baby."

"You haven't seen me first thing in the morning," she said, with a laugh, hugging Cathy. She put Yoby down on the floor. "We do want to introduce y'all to Ryleigh though. She's asleep, but I don't think she'll mind."

"We can't wait," Cynthia said. Chip put a hand on his mom's back and led her towards the stairs and the rest of them followed.

When they got to the bedroom, and Cynthia and Cathy crossed over to the bassinette, she got that pit feeling in the bottom of her stomach that she sometimes did when she stopped and stepped out of her body, thinking about what she and Chip were doing. It wasn't so much that she regretted loving him or regretted Ryleigh, because she didn't. she had never really believed in soulmates, but she had known, without a doubt, from the very beginning, that he was hers. The idea of possibly living without him had felt like she couldn't draw in a breath. But the knowledge that people had been hurt had been tough. Was _still_ tough. Knowing she had all this – the love of her life, their daughter, their family – when it had caused pain for others could overwhelm her at times. Knowing she would never give it up could sometimes drive her to her knees.

Cynthia turned to them and it took her breath away to see the joy on her face. "Oh, y'all, I don't think I've ever seen a more perfect little being in my life," she whispered. "Pictures don't do her justice and those pictures were always precious." She hugged first her, then Chip. She put her hand over her heart. "She's perfect. I can't wait to really get to meet her." She turned back to the bassinette and leaned over it, ever so gently touching her finger to Ryleigh's cheek. Ryleigh twitched and screwed up her little face, but then settled back down without opening her eyes.

Chip looked at her with a mix of pride and relief in his eyes. He'd never indicated to her that he thought anything other than what they were seeing then was the outcome they would get, but it was apparent to her in that moment that he had, in fact, wondered. That was the thing about him – he was always positive, always confident to the point of cockiness, at times. Sometimes that was bravado though. It was just hard to tell when it was. She returned his look with an understanding smile.

"We should probably go downstairs," Cathy said quietly.

* * *

About an hour after Cynthia and Cathy arrived, Ryleigh's cries came through the monitor. She started to get up, but Chip put his hand on her arm. "I can get her," he said.

She smiled. "She needs to be fed though. Can you do that?" She stood up then.

He gave her a sheepish smile. "I guess not."

She looked over at his mom and sister. "I need to feed her and get her changed and dressed and I'll be back down."

Cynthia had sat forward on the couch and had a huge smile on her face. "I can't wait to see her."

* * *

It had been close to 45 minutes when she came back down with Ryleigh. She was wearing the little pink cap and the little pajamas she'd come home in. They were still too large, but looked a little better on her than the day she'd been released from the hospital. She headed for Cynthia, leaning down to place the infant in her arms. Cathy leaned over and smiled at Ryleigh. Cynthia couldn't stop smiling. "Hi there, sweetie. I'm your grandmother. But you can call me Nana." She leaned over and kissed Ryleigh's forehead. "And this is your Aunt Cathy and we're so happy you're here." She looked up. "She's precious, y'all. And so sweet."

She fought off the desire to laugh. "Not always sweet," she said. "She fights having her clothes changed. I almost gave up. She's surprisingly strong and determined when she doesn't want to put her arm in a sleeve."

Chip laughed beside her. "It's true. I feel like she's going to throw a little tantrum. I predict she will be a diva."

Cynthia smiled, but shook her head and then leaned down towards Ryleigh. "You would never do that, would you, precious?" she cooed. "Tell your daddy not to call you a diva." Ryleigh stretched out her arm as though she were reaching for her grandmother.

"I think she's a fan, Mom," Chip said, with a laugh.

She stood off to the side, watching Cynthia fawn over her granddaughter a little longer before handing her to Cathy. "You know, Connie, you're so lucky Chip loves his daughters. She very definitely _is_ a daddy's girl." Cathy turned her so that she could balance her on her legs. "I'm just so in love right now."

Chip reached for her hand and smiled. She wanted Chip's family to accept Ryleigh into their family and it felt like they were getting off to a good start.

* * *

When Cynthia and Cathy left, just after dinner, she felt exhausted. Chip, on the other hand, was energized. "They loved her!" he exulted.

She smiled. "Of course they did," she said. "I didn't expect them not to." She breathed out.

He frowned. "What?"

She shook her head. "I was just...worried. Like maybe they would..."

He put his arms around her. "Sweetie, they love you. When you took Ryleigh upstairs to put her down, Mom told me you were such a great mama. She knew you were already, with Yoby, but she loved seeing you with our girl."

She looked up at him. "Really?"

He put his hands on her face and kissed her forehead. "It's all good, baby." He smiled. "You look like you could use some sleep."

She nodded. "I really could. I think I've just been nervous."

He put his hands on her arms and looked deeply into her eyes. She knew he knew what her real concerns were. "It's all gonna be fine, baby. I promise."

**Chip**

When he came out of the bathroom, she was laying on the bed on her side, her knees drawn up slightly and her hair spread across her pillow. He smiled. She had been up and down every night since Ryleigh had been home. She wanted to do everything herself, but he could see that it was running her ragged. He walked over to the bassinette and saw that Ryleigh's eyes were open. As he hovered, her eyes trailed over to him. He could see tiny movements underneath the swaddling blanket and he smiled. Whenever she saw him, or Connie, she would wave her tiny arms and kick her feet and he knew that's what she was trying to do now.

"_Why do we do this?" he asked Connie, at the hospital, about the swaddling. He and Patty hadn't done this with their kids, so he wondered what the benefit was._

_She smiled at him indulgently. "Well, for one thing, it makes her feel like she's still inside me, wrapped up in a safe little cocoon, and since she missed some of that, it's good for her. She feels comforted. Plus it helps her to feel warm."_

"_What if she wants to roll over?"_

_She laughed. "Newborns don't roll over. That comes later. But it helps them to sleep better. You'll see."_

Turned out she was right. Ryleigh seemed to sleep a little longer and fall asleep more easily. She made a soft noise and he looked over his shoulder at Connie, to make sure she didn't wake up, then looked back at Ryleigh. He leaned over. "You wanna get out of there, baby girl?" he said softly. He slid his hands under her, lifting her up and resting her against his shoulder. He walked carefully across the room, then walked out, closing the door behind him.

When he got to the kitchen, he noticed it was midnight, and knew that was one of the times Connie normally got up to feed her. Holding Ryleigh in one arm, he opened the refrigerator door and pulled out one of the bottles of breast milk. He then put it in the bottle warmer for a bit. He checked the temperature and then turned around and headed back up the stairs, to the nursery. He settled into the chair and rearranged Ryleigh, unwrapping the blanket from around her. She was already fussing just a little and he didn't want her to wake up Connie. He reached for the bottle and touched it to her mouth. She took it in and started sucking.

He didn't get to do this often. Connie wanted to do actual breastfeeding and he couldn't blame her. Once she was back at work, she wouldn't be able to do that as often, so he was fine with letting her. But he loved the times when he did get to hold Ryleigh like this and just be a dad. He'd done this with Taylor, Chase, and Addie and had found it to be a time when he felt closer to them. Holding them when they were so small, dependent on their parents for everything. He had never given a thought to doing this again, but he was happy to have the opportunity.

He thought back to when Connie first told him she was pregnant. He'd felt bad about how he had handled it, walking away from her like he had. But he'd been so taken off guard that he could hardly process it. It had made Connie feel like he'd abandoned her, that he wouldn't be there for her, which had not at all been the case. He watched Ryleigh, as she continued to take the bottle, and knew without a doubt he'd made the right decision to choose her. And her mama. It had been a hard time, with hard decisions to make. He'd caused pain and anguish and anger. He still didn't know if his kids would ever completely come around, although he still believed Ryleigh could be a bridge.

Connie had cautioned him._ That's a lot of pressure to put on a little baby. I guess it's a good thing she's unaware of all those hopes depending on her._ He sighed and refocused his attention on his daughter. She pulled away from the bottle and looked up at him. He set the bottle down and lifted her to his shoulder, where he'd placed one of the burping cloths Connie always had available. He rubbed her back and pressed his lips. gently to her head. "I love you, precious girl," he whispered. "I'll never stop." He sat back in the chair, rubbing her back until he heard the soft burp, and then he smiled.

**Connie**

She woke with a start. She didn't know what caused her to wake up, but she was definitely wide awake. The room was dark and she peered at the clock by her bed. It was almost 1:00. She made a frustrated noise and rolled over, but Chip wasn't in bed.

"Chip?" she called out softly, wondering if he might have been in the bathroom. Nothing. Then she noticed the bedroom door was slightly open. She got out of bed and slipped on her glasses. She walked softly to the bassinette, but Ryleigh wasn't there. She frowned and then headed towards the bedroom door. As she stepped into the hallway, she saw that there was a faint light coming from Ryleigh's nursery. She approached quietly and, when she got to the open door, she could see Chip sitting in the chair holding Ryleigh. The light on the table next to him gave off a soft light yellow glow. She could feel all her emotions rushing to the surface as she watched him with their daughter. _Oh God, I love him so much._

She walked in the room and he looked up. She slid onto the chair next to him, one leg underneath her. She put her hand on his arm and leaned in to kiss him. "Hey," she whispered. Ryleigh's eyes were open but she looked like she was edging towards sleep.

"Hey." He smiled. She saw the empty bottle then on the table.

"I don't remember hearing her cry."

He shook his head. "She didn't. You were asleep and when I checked on her, she was awake, so I took her downstairs. That's when I realized it was feeding time, so I just got a bottle and came back up here."

"You could have woken me up," she said.

Ryleigh stirred just a little, as her eyes trailed over to her mother. She smiled, running a finger down her cheek. "I wanted to give you a break," he said. "And it gave us a little daddy-daughter time." He had her protectively in his arms and she thought about the fact that he rarely got this chance. She decided, now that Ryleigh was home, that she needed to give him more opportunities. She watched as the baby's eyes slowly closed. It was nice, sitting together, the three of them, just wrapped up in each other.

She leaned against his shoulder, letting her fingers gently stroke Ryleigh's leg. "I hope when she grows up, we have a really close relationship. Like my mom and I had. I want her to feel like she can explore her dreams, even when they're small, and I want her to always feel like she can be curious. And then tell me all about everything she learns."

"I think it'll be that way," he said. "I mean, after all, you're..."

She sat up and put her hand over his mouth. "Please don't say I'm Connie fucking Britton," she said with a smile. "it's not that simple. And I'm not that perfect or infallible."

He grinned, then leaned over and kissed her. "You are, though. You just don't totally realize it," he said. "Ryleigh's lucky she's gonna grow up with you as her mom." He kissed her again. "And not because of your name, but because of the kind of human being you are." His face turned serious. "I mean that. I mean, yes, you are Connie fucking Britton" – she smiled a little – "but you're so much more than that. I know how much this means to you, how seriously you take this. I do. I'm in awe of the sense of responsibility you have, how much it matters to you that you raise good people." He shook his head and smiled wryly. "It took me awhile, when I had kids, to figure it out. I mostly felt scared, in the beginning, and incompetent. But I just tried to always be present and involved and they've turned out pretty well anyway. And now" – she thought she caught a little mistiness in his eyes – "I just want them to like me." His voice faded to a whisper. She thought it might have been the first time he'd truly acknowledged that it wouldn't be as easy as he'd hoped.

Her heart hurt for him then. She put her hand on his cheek. "I don't think they don't like you, babe. I think they have a lot to sort through. I'm not sure how good either of us would have been at their ages with handling all the upheaval in their lives. It's probably going to be something they think about every time they see us from now on. I do feel like them wanting to come see Ryleigh is a start. For _you_. She connects to you and to them. You're all blood. And I think that will matter, in the end." He didn't say anything, just breathed in deeply. She took Ryleigh's tiny hand, being very gentle so she didn't wake her. "I think Ryleigh will be a daddy's girl anyway."

"What?" He looked surprised.

She nodded. "Oh yeah. Haven't you seen how she looks for you when you come in a room? The way her whole face lights up?"

He smirked. "No, I haven't."

She smiled. "Well, she does. And I happen to think it's because you're Charles fucking Esten." She sat back and watched him. He put his hand over his heart and then put it on the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss.

"And now I can't believe that these great parents of hers have just used the f word multiple times in front of her," he whispered against her lips and she smiled.

"We'll just have to hope she won't remember that kind of thing later in life," she said, with a grin. She patted his arm. "We should all go back to bed. You have to work tomorrow and your mom and Cathy will be back in the morning." She stood up and he handed Ryleigh to her before getting up himself. They walked back to their bedroom and he waited while she gently reswaddled the baby and laid her back in the bassinette. She turned back towards him. Seeing him sitting in the nursery with their daughter had felt emotional. She really wanted him. Wanted to be close. She wasn't sure if it was the emotions of being alone together in the middle of the night with their daughter. Or maybe it was that they'd said 'fucking' so many times. Whatever it was, she felt that need deep down inside. She put her hand on his arm. "Chip," she said softly. He took her in his arms then and kissed her deeply. She let herself relax into the kiss and, when she felt how aroused he was, she realized she was as well.

She stepped back and took his hand, leading him to bed. He put his arms around her and pulled her close. "I don't want to hurt you," he whispered. "Or rush you."

She shook her head. "You're not rushing me. But we can take it a little slow and see how things go." She bit her lip. "I just want to be close to you. I miss that."

He nodded. "I miss you too." Then he kissed her again, letting his hands trail over her skin. And he let her lead, slowing down when she asked, staying attuned to her needs. She hadn't known what to expect, but he helped make it easier. And afterwards, as she lay in his arms, she knew she couldn't have asked for a better partner, one who would care more about her needs than his own and who was considerate of her comfort. It wasn't what they were used to, but she could feel some of the tension drain from her body. She closed her eyes, feeling warm and safe in his arms, and fell into a deep sleep for the first time since Ryleigh had been born.

**Chip**

When he opened his eyes, Connie had rolled away from him and he could hear her even breathing. He smiled, thinking about the night before, or more accurately, very early that morning. Sitting together with their daughter, talking about her, thinking about raising her together, had stirred up a need in both of them. He'd tried to make things comfortable for her – and she told him everything was amazing – but he knew it would take some time before the intimate part of their life got back to normal. He was okay with that. He was the man who got to live with her and love her, sleep in the same bed with her, and share a family with. He was the man she loved, the man she wanted in her life, and it still overwhelmed him a bit.

_I'm the luckiest guy._ He was and he knew it. It had been a little over a year earlier that they had first met and the connection had been immediate. So much had happened in a year that it almost made his head spin. He looked back at her and breathed in deeply. He sat up in the bed, trying to be careful not to wake her. She had slept so soundly that she'd missed a couple of Ryleigh's feedings but he hadn't wanted to wake her. Besides, he was happy to do it for her. He reached for his shorts and pulled them on as he stood up. He padded over to Ryleigh's bassinette and looked in, but she was still asleep. He walked out of the room, pulling the door shut behind him, and went down to the kitchen for some coffee.

He had a long day.

**Connie**

Cynthia and Cathy came over every day at 10:00, almost right to the minute. They had been such a help with Ryleigh by feeding her and changing her and keeping an eye on her so that she could take a nap each day. The daily nap had been such a gift and she felt like it had helped her relax and feel more like herself. The initial hesitation she had had over letting others take care of Ryleigh was ebbing. Chip kept telling her she didn't need to do it all herself, and she knew that, but she felt she needed to, since the baby had been born so early.

She rolled off the bed after her nap and walked into the bathroom. She peered in the mirror. The circles under her eyes had faded some. She still got up in the middle of the night when Ryleigh needed to be fed, so being able to take these naps was a gift. Cynthia had told her to make sure to nap when the baby did, but she'd be going back to work in a couple of weeks and all that would go out the window. She frowned at herself, then made herself stop. She knew once she was back in the swing of things, she'd fall into a routine and it would all be okay, but she was starting to worry about things like when she'd be able to fit into Rayna's skintight pants and slim fitting stage outfits, although she was hoping there wouldn't be a lot of that for a woman recovering from almost dying. _And my boobs._ She put her hands on her breasts. They were still larger, since she was still breastfeeding. She sighed. There was no way she was giving that up, so there was that.

She would have the nanny, who would watch Yoby and Ryleigh when she was on set. Chip would be there some of the time, when they had scenes together. The first episode had a number of Deacon and Rayna flashback scenes, so he would definitely be there for that filming day. She threw her hands up then. She just hoped everything went smoothly. She ran a brush through her hair and then turned and walked out of the bedroom.

* * *

Cathy had taken over Ryleigh and it left her alone with Cynthia. They hadn't had much time to talk, just the two of them, the whole week. She pulled tea out of the fridge, thankfully made by Chip, and poured two glasses, then brought them out to the deck. It was shady in the backyard in the afternoon, since the house faced west. It was the beginning of August and it was hot and humid, but there was the tiniest breeze outside which helped. She set the glasses down on the table and Cynthia smiled. She sat in the chair opposite Chip's mom.

She picked up her glass. "Chip made this," she said. "He sure makes a damn good pitcher of sweet tea, I'm sure thanks to you."

Cynthia smiled. "I can't take credit though. It was always his job to make the tea. It's just one of his many natural talents." She took a sip of her tea and leaned slightly forward. "I'm glad we have some time alone for a change." A flicker of anxiety hit her stomach. "I wanted to tell you how much I've enjoyed getting to spend time with my new granddaughter. And I appreciate that you've been so generous to both Cathy and me in letting us probably take advantage of that."

She relaxed a little, smiling at Cynthia. "I'm just so glad you're both here. I want Ryleigh to spend time with family. Family's important to both Chip and me. And I'm also grateful that you've been so welcoming to Yoby. I think it would be easy to put him in a different corner."

Cynthia frowned a little, then shook her head. "We adore him. We have from the second we met him. I really consider him to be my grandson." That surprised her, but touched her heart. "You know, it hasn't been that long since we've seen you but in so many ways it feels like so much time has gone by."

She nodded. "I know. It was just about 5 weeks ago." She shook her head a little and smiled, taken aback a little by saying it out loud. "Wow. It was just a couple days after we came home that Ryleigh was born."

"I remember," Cynthia said. "Chip was so worried. When he called me he told me how scared he was that he'd upset you so much that you went into labor."

She had practically forgotten how angry they'd been at each other then. "I think it really scared us both and emotions were so high. She was so early and I was _so_ not ready. And then I was afraid he was blaming himself." She laughed a little. "I was not a pleasure to be around those first few days and I don't think he knew what to do about me." She sighed and shook her head. "I never blamed Chip. It was just how it was going to happen. I actually blamed myself, for the choices I made, for being _old_."

Cynthia smiled sympathetically. "You're not that old."

She laughed. "Well, in pregnancy terms I am. 'Geriatric'. That's what they called it." They laughed together then.

Cynthia's expression turned more serious. "You know, I think I really understood how important you are to him when I listened to him those first few days. I could hear his concern for Ryleigh, of course, but I think he was always convinced she would be fine. He would tell me that it wouldn't be fair for you to go through all this only to have it taken away. He was just so focused on _you_." She smiled, almost apologetically. "He _is_ a good man and he's carried all this around with him, trying to do right by everyone. And I'm his mother and I've certainly had my say, more than once, but I saw it at the beach and I see it here. The family you're building together. And it makes me happy to see it." She paused. "It's hard not to like you, Connie. You're smart, funny, compassionate. You've given me two new grandchildren. Most of all is that you love my son and you make him very happy. I see that most of all."

She felt tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat. She tried to smile. "Thank you, Cynthia," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "That means a lot."

Cynthia took another sip of tea. She had the hint of a smile on her face. "Another thing I wanted to tell you is that Cathy and I are going to babysit tonight so you and Chip can go out together, by yourselves. Maybe just for dinner because, since you're a mom, you're not going to want to leave that precious baby for long, but really for whatever amount of time you like." She smiled. "I feel like you both need a break. Or maybe it's just you, since Chip _does_ have work as a distraction. I hope you both will feel like Cathy and I are suitably mature and responsible enough to take care of your children."

She saw the teasing look in Cynthia's eyes. "That's so nice of you to offer. And yes, I think I can speak for Chip and say we definitely think y'all would be the _best_ babysitters." She grinned. "Now I'll just have to think of where to go."

* * *

Cynthia had been right. She and Chip had needed a night out, just the two of them. As she sat back in the chair, feeling Ryleigh tugging at her nipple, she thought about how nice it had been to get dressed up, although dressed up had just meant a nicer pair of jeans and a blouse loose enough to cover the tiniest of stomach pooches. She'd been proud of being able to get into one of the looser pair of her jeans without feeling like she was trapped in a girdle. She'd put on a small amount of makeup – just a little blush to enhance the pinkness of her cheeks, lip gloss and some mascara – and jewelry, brushing her hair into loose waves.

_Chip had come up behind her while she was brushing her hair, putting his arms around her, his hands pressed against her abdomen. She saw the sparkle in his eyes as he smiled, reflected back to her in the mirror. "Looking pretty sexy tonight," he said, placing a light kiss on her shoulder._

_She smiled back. "Thanks, sweetie," she said. She put the brush down and turned in his arms, putting her hands lightly against his chest. "You're looking pretty sexy yourself." He did. He'd grown out his scruff a bit while the show was on hiatus, but his facial hair was back to the right amount of Deacon scruff and he'd slimmed down a little from the summer._

_He kissed her. "You decide where you want to go?"_

_She nodded. "At first I thought just some hole in the wall, but then I changed my mind. I want to go somewhere a little more special. So I thought Sinema." It was a place not far away – not super upscale, but a nicer place with a comfortable vibe._

Of course it was also a place where they'd be more visible, but she decided not to let it bother her. The food was delicious, the drinks were solid, and, while there were plenty of surreptitious looks throughout the time they were there, it had been a nice evening. They had promised each other not to talk kid talk – and they had mostly managed that – and focus on grown up conversation. He talked a little about work, until she decided that wasn't good dinner conversation either. They had laughed – a lot – and for a little while she forgot about everything except the two of them. They had made out in the car in the garage and she'd let him feel her up a little before they had reluctantly gone inside.

After Cynthia and Cathy had left and Ryleigh had been fed and put down, the good feelings from the evening lingered. Chip was still being a little handsy and she liked it. They had kissed and he had pressed her against him so she could feel how much he wanted her. The truth was, she was incredibly aroused. By him. And he knew it. She made a little noise deep in her throat as she thought about it. Things had probably gotten a little more heated and lusty than they should have, and the vague soreness she was still feeling was a result of that, but it had also been incredibly satisfying. She smiled as she thought about it.

"Your father is really...awesome," she whispered to Ryleigh, thinking that she could really never have that kind of conversation with her about Chip. But she did hope she could one day talk to her daughter about waiting for the right man, the one who would love and cherish her at the same time he respected and was proud of her. She wanted Ryleigh to have a man like Chip, to be her partner in life. Ryleigh pulled away then and looked up, smacking her lips a little. She smiled and rubbed her thumb over the baby's cheek. "You are really the prettiest, cutest baby ever. Did you know that?" she said with a smile. Just then Ryleigh's eyes opened wide and then had an amused look to them, her lips parted in what she decided was definitely a smile. She opened her mouth and shook her head a little as she looked at her baby. "You're smiling, aren't you? Yes, you are." She smiled broadly. "Just wait until I tell your daddy. He'll be so jealous that you gave your very first smile to your mama, won't he?" She cupped the back of Ryleigh's head with her free hand, lifting her slightly so she could kiss her forehead. "I love you, sweet baby," she whispered.

* * *

She padded back into the bedroom quietly and laid a sleeping Ryleigh in her bassinette. She stood for a moment and looked down at her daughter. A year ago, she would never have believed this would be her life. She had always assumed that one day she would have a husband and a family, not because it was 'supposed' to be that way, but because she truly wanted that. But she had also wanted a career and friends and her own interests, so that husband needed to be a partner, someone who complemented her and supported her and sometimes might even put her needs or interests or career first. That man had never arrived, nor had the family she'd hoped to have. So she decided to create her own.

First there was Yoby, who made her a mom. It had been scary and wonderful and hard and rewarding, all at once. She'd learned so much about herself and her capacity to love another human being. It had completed her. Or so she thought. Because then there was Chip. And that had been messy and hard and painful and beautiful. He was that partner she'd hoped for. Sometimes he challenged her and sometimes she challenged him. They'd fallen in love quickly, fallen hard for each other, in a way that sometimes left her gasping, both from the hugeness of it and from the beauty of it.

And then he'd given her this gift. This baby, lying asleep in the bassinette. This baby they'd created together, who she'd carried inside her for not nearly long enough, but who was thriving. Her heart felt full and she put her hand on her chest. Then she finally turned away and looked at the man, asleep in the bed, who held it all together, and she was grateful for him. She walked over and slid under the sheet, feeling his warmth as she curled up beside him, on her side facing him so she could watch him sleep. Before long, her eyes closed and she drifted back to sleep.

**Chip**

After hugs all around and then multiple kisses and hugs and tears for both Yoby and Ryleigh, he and Cathy were finally on the way to the airport. She was still wiping her eyes with a tissue as they headed for the highway. He glanced over at her. "You know you can always come back," he said quietly.

She looked over at him. "Oh, I know," she said, her voice sounding a little shaky. "But they'll never be this age again."

He laughed. "Well, that's true. They all eventually grow up." He reached over and squeezed her hand. "Thanks for coming."

"And miss seeing my new niece? That just wasn't going to happen." She rubbed under her eyes with her fingers. "She's just an angel, Chip."

He kept smiling. "Thank you. I give all the credit to Connie though."

Cathy shook her head. "It's not all her. You know that." She breathed in, then let it out. "I hope the kids will be fair about this."

He knew she meant _his_ kids, who were coming out in just a few days. "I do too."

She shifted in her seat so she was looking more towards him. "I hope this goes well, but you know it could end up being a shit show."

He frowned. "I don't want to go into it thinking it's gonna be a shit show, Cathy." He could hear the edge in his voice.

"Well, I know you don't. Which is your general MO."

Now he felt annoyed. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know how you are, Chip. You're always incessantly hoping for the best. Which I don't disagree with, to be fair, but you have to be prepared." He was silent. "You might not want to hear this, but those kids are kind of shellshocked right now. There lives were going along pretty well and then, bam, out of nowhere, it's all gone to shit. What does that sound like?" She looked at him pointedly.

He kept staring out of the windshield. "When Mom and Dad got divorced," he said, his voice flat.

"Exactly. Only we were a whole lot younger. And it wasn't the same circumstances. But let's be real. Pretty much out of nowhere, you go bouncing off to Nashville for this job and your wife and kids are back in LA, supporting you and cheering you on and being all Team Dad. But what's dad doing? Acting like he's not."

He reached out and grabbed her arm. "That's not true, Cathy!" he snarled.

She jerked her arm away. "Hey, I'm just trying to make a point here," she said.

"Well, you're doing a pretty damn poor job of it."

"Which is my point." He was confused by that, but also still angry. "Chip, that's how they look at it. You left and, really, never came back. Yeah, I know you still went back almost every weekend, at least until you told Patty, but your heart wasn't in it. And they're old enough to realize that, in hindsight. And it _hurts_, for them. It might take them a really long time to be able to separate the dad who left them for someone else with the dad they love. And even longer for them to accept the woman who took you."

He pointed his finger at her. "It's not on her. _I_ take the blame."

"I know you do, but it's _not_ all on your shoulders. You didn't force Connie to do any of this. And I get that you love her and this is different. But this isn't going to be easy. Or simple. Just because they're coming doesn't mean they're ready to forgive. I'm actually kind of shocked they want to see Ryleigh. But I think a lot of that is because she was in the hospital when she was born and, even though she's okay now, that's kind of a scary thing." He clenched his jaw. "You just need to have some patience, which is not something you normally have. This is a marathon, Chip. There's a lot of work to be done." She shifted back to sitting facing the front of the car. "Mom and I are just pushovers, because we actually like Connie, like her politics and her passions. We love being around her. But Patty was part of our family too. That's probably not going to change. She's the kids' mom." She paused. "She was gracious enough to let the kids come, you know." He glanced over at her. "She wasn't going to, you know. At first she was going to tell them they couldn't, but she decided it was more important that the four of you have a chance to try to heal." He swallowed over the lump in his throat. "Look, I'm sorry I was so blunt. I just want to be sure you're not wearing your usual rose-colored glasses. As you do." She reached over and put a hand on his arm. "Mom and I can see you and Connie truly love each other. We can see now that you weren't really happy before, because now you really _are_. We genuinely like her and we want to be welcoming and not be all pissy and hurt. Because this is _your_ life, not ours. We might wish there had been a softer way to do this, but we would always want you to be happy over being miserable."

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"We love you, Chip. And we can see how much Connie loves you. I know she went through a lot to have Ryleigh. We support her." She gave him a long glance. Then she punched his arm. "You need to make sure you stay worthy of her."

"Damn, Cathy. You hit _hard_." He couldn't help but let a smile start to come through. "But thanks. For loving my daughter, for giving Connie a chance. Even though sometimes you suck at pep talks."

She grinned. "I do, don't I?" He nodded, but still gave her a smile. "Treat Connie like a goddess," she said, pointing a finger at him.

He laughed. "I try, every day. Sometimes she won't let me." They had gotten to the airport and he pulled up to the curb and parked. They both got out of the car and he pulled her suitcase from the trunk, setting it on the curb in front of the Southwest terminal. They hugged and he held her tight for a long moment. When she stepped back, he smiled at her. "Thanks for coming, Cathy. I'm glad you got to spend a lot of time with Ryleigh."

She raised her eyebrows. "And Yoby."

He nodded. "And Yoby."

"You have a beautiful family, Chip. I see how happy you all are together and that makes me happy too. I want the rest of your family to come around to that, but just be patient."

He smirked. "I keep hearing that I'm not patient," he said.

"Well, you're not," she said with a laugh. "But this is when it matters, so make it count." She reached out and hugged him again and he hugged her back. "I love you, Chip," she said, her voice muffled against his shoulder.

He stepped back. "I love you too, sis." He knew there were tears in his eyes, but he didn't care. "Safe travels. And come back."

She nodded. "I will." She pulled up the handle on her suitcase and, with a final wave, headed into the terminal building.

He stood for a moment, until she vanished inside, feeling a little beat up, but also grateful that she knew she could always tell him the truth. He waited another second, then walked back around the car and got in. As he started the car and headed out, he knew she'd given him a lot to think about. In two days Taylor, Chase, and Addie would be there. He needed to be ready.


	21. Chapter 21

**Connie**

She put Ryleigh back in her bassinette and then slid back in bed. It was Saturday and Chip didn't have to work, so they hadn't had to get up so early. Except that she had, to feed Ryleigh. He had whispered to her as she got up to be sure and come back. She had looked at him, his hair mussed from sleep, his eyes half closed, and a lazy smile on his face, and smiled. She really wanted to just stay in bed, but she had kissed him and then reluctantly rolled out of bed to tend to their daughter.

It was still pretty early, the sun just barely starting to peak through the curtains. She slid back under the covers and scooted over closer to him. He rolled onto his side and kissed her. "Mornin', baby," he said, his voice still thick with sleep. He ran his hand over her bottom and then underneath the shirt she had on, resting his hand on her back. He tucked his head into her shoulder and breathed in. "You smell good," he murmured.

"I do?" she murmured, running her fingers through his hair. He'd had a long day, not getting home until after dinnertime, so she thought he might sleep in longer.

He nodded. "Um hm," he whispered. He lifted his head then, his hair flopping over his eyebrow. "Aren't you going out with my mom today?"

"I am. We're going to look for some cute baby clothes."

He frowned playfully. "Doesn't she already have more than she needs?"

She shrugged and smiled good-naturedly. "Probably. But who am I to deny your mom the chance to buy things for her granddaughter?" She held up her finger. "But remember, you're on dad duty while we're gone."

He smirked. "I guess you're right about that." he rolled onto his back. "Can we just lie here a little longer?" he turned his head to look at her. "I feel like we haven't seen enough of each other."

She snuggled up next to him, her head on his shoulder. She felt his arm around her. "I like that idea," she murmured. She closed her eyes and fell back asleep.

* * *

When she woke up again, the sun was shining brightly through the curtains. She sat up, then realized she was in bed alone. She threw back the covers and got up, stopping to check on a still sleeping Ryleigh. She knew it wouldn't be long before she was awake and hungry, so she didn't bother to wake her. She put on her glasses and headed out into the hall. Yoby's door was open and she could hear his voice, along with Chip's, downstairs, so she followed.

When she rounded the corner to the kitchen, she saw Yoby sitting at the kitchen table and Chip at the stove, flipping pancakes. Yoby saw her then and yelled, "Mama! Pancakes!"

She smiled. "I see that." She walked over to Chip and, putting a hand on his arm, leaned in for a kiss. "Pancakes, huh?" she smiled.

"Yep," he said, grinning back at her. "Want some?"

"Sure, why not?"

He pointed his spatula over towards the table. "Have a seat and I'll bring you some," he said.

She walked over and sat down next to Yoby, who had his pancakes all cut up and syrup all over the plate. And his face. She laughed. "You're kind of a mess, Yobes," she said.

He nodded his head and smiled. "I know!" She and Chip both laughed.

"Yoby, you finished those up yet?" Chip asked, looking over.

"Almost," he said, and turned his attention back to his plate. She watched as he picked up pancake bites with his fingers and popped them in his mouth.

She leaned towards him. "Honey, you're getting syrup all over your fingers," she said.

Yoby dropped the fork he'd been holding, apparently just for show, and looked at his hands. He looked at her with confusion and she reached for one of his hands. She put his fingers in her mouth one by one, licking off the syrup. Before she finished, he was doing the same with his other hand. Then he held up both hands to her, palms out. "All cwean!" he shouted out proudly.

"Well, they're still a little sticky." She got up and got a dish towel, running some water over it. She sat back down and wiped his hands, being sure to get the sticky syrup off each finger. When she finished, Chip was bringing her a plate. He set it down and took the dish towel from her, along with Yoby's plate, setting them in the sink. Then he came back and sat next to her. Yoby climbed down off the chair and she watched as he sprinted into the den, then hit the floor, sliding into his toy cars. She looked back at Chip and smiled.

"What time are you and Mom going out?"

She picked up the syrup and poured some on her pancakes. "About 10:30 or so. We'll have lunch too." She cut a bite of pancakes and put them in her mouth. "These are good, babe," she said, when she had swallowed.

He smiled. "I'm the pancake king," he said proudly.

She laughed. "Indeed you are." She ate a few more bites, then pushed the plate back. "I don't need to eat anymore, since your mom and I are going to lunch." Just then the downstairs baby monitor was filled with Ryleigh's cries. "Well, I guess I'm done anyway. Your daughter is hungry." She smirked at him.

He raised an eyebrow. "Lucky girl," he said. She swatted his arm and stood up, leaning down for a kiss before she hurried upstairs.

* * *

She and Cynthia were seated on the patio of a small café in Hillsboro Village. The server had just taken their order and they sat back in their seats, enjoying the unexpectedly pleasant August day. She reached down and touched the handles of one of the bags next to her. "You were so sweet to buy these little outfits for Ryleigh, Cynthia," she said. "They're so adorable. And the books. I can't believe we forgot all about books."

Cynthia smiled. "it was my pleasure. A grandmother is supposed to spoil her grandchildren, even when they're teeny tiny. And it's so hard to resist all the cute little girl clothes and shoes. You'll learn that quickly." She took a sip of her tea. "When do you go back to work?"

She made a face. "In two weeks." She sighed. "I wish I had more time at home with Ryleigh. When I go back she'll be at the point where she really should just have been born. I had no idea that it would be so hard to even think about going back to work."

Cynthia frowned. "They can't go on without you?"

She shrugged. "The real problem is that they can't start the season without me. They're running out of time to edit my scenes in. I guess they could have written Rayna out of the first few episodes, but they just weren't going to do that. They are at least compressing my shooting schedule for a while."

"You'll take Ryleigh with you, right?"

She nodded. "And Yoby. And a nanny. Chip will be there too, on days we shoot together."

"I'm sure you'll work it out." Cynthia smiled at her encouragingly. Just then the server came with their food, setting it down in front of them. After she left, Cynthia seemed a little pensive. "So Chip told me he decided he's going to go pick up the kids at the airport tomorrow."

She nodded. "Yeah."

"I think the plan is for them just to come to the Airbnb so they can rest up and then they'll come over Monday, since Chip isn't working that day."

"Right." She felt her stomach turn over and set down her fork. "I'm nervous about how this is going to go. I'm so afraid Chip has these unrealistic ideas about everything. I think he's counting on Ryleigh to somehow be like a fairy, waving her magic wand over everyone to make it all right."

Cynthia sighed. "I'm worried about him. You're right, he goes through life with rose colored glasses on. Cathy and I have always said that. He's positive that the force of his personality is going to bring people together. And the truth is, he often does. He's that kind of man. He sees the good and tries his hardest to keep the energy up and all that." She took a sip of tea. "I hate to say it, but I think he's going to be very disappointed. They're still working through their feelings right now. Especially about him."

She breathed in. "I hate that I'm the cause of all this."

Cynthia shook her head. "It's not all on you, Connie. He's their father. They had him on a pedestal and now he's toppled off. And it's all very confusing and it's still new in many ways. And now there's a baby sister, which complicates it more." She smiled a little sadly. "I don't mean to sound like all doom and gloom. I know they really want to meet Ryleigh. No matter what else, she's their sister. And I know Taylor and Chase are looking forward to seeing Yoby, and I think Addie's going to love him too. But you need to be prepared. They could act out, especially Addie. This has really been tougher on her. Maybe it's her age, maybe it's that she and Chip were so close. I haven't really talked to her about it, so I'm not sure of everything she feels. What I do know is that you'll need to be there for Chip." She paused. "And I think it's going to be tough on you too."

She nodded. "I think you're right. But I can deal with it. It's Chip I worry about."

**Chip**

He lay in bed, waiting for her to come back. He had woken up every time she had during the night. He was already anxious about picking the kids up at the airport. He wanted the visit to go well, wanted them to love Ryleigh and wanted that to start changing things. At times he felt like he was being optimistic all alone. But they were his kids. And he loved them. He wanted to show them that nothing had to change. Just then Connie walked back in the room, placing Ryleigh back in her bassinette. Then she turned towards the bed and crawled under the sheets.

"Are you awake again?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. "Waiting for you." He reached for her, pulling her in close. She rested her head on his shoulder and he felt her hand on his chest. She put her toes on his leg and moved them up and down. He was getting aroused by it and he breathed in deeply. Her hand moved down his abdomen and he swallowed, waiting. She slid her hand under the waistband of his shorts. When she touched him, he groaned deep in his chest.

Her fingers were just slightly cool and gentle at first, as she slid them up his length. He sucked in his breath. He loved having her touch him, although he knew he wouldn't let it go on for long. As much as he enjoyed this, he preferred being inside her. She wrapped her hand around him and began stroking him. He choked on a groan, trying to be quiet. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in for a deep kiss. Her grip got a little tighter and her strokes picked up speed. He was getting closer to the edge, so he reached for her hand and moved it aside, then slowly slid his finger inside her, checking to see how ready she was. She moaned into his mouth as he pushed all the way inside her. She was slick and warm, definitely ready.

He moved his hand as he rolled her onto her back, his mouth not leaving hers. She wasn't wearing panties, which made things easier. He moved into her gently, taking it slow, being mindful that she could still sometimes have a little discomfort. She was arching her back, pressing her pelvis against him, and let her legs fall open, opening herself more to him. Finally he was fully inside her, not an inch of space between the two of them. He heard her deeply satisfied moan and felt it against his chest. He released her mouth, looking down into her eyes. He smiled. "You good?" he whispered.

She nodded. "I'm good," she whispered back, lifting her arms and wrapping them around his neck. She drew him back down to kiss her. She shifted against him, letting him know she was ready. He started with a gentle rhythm, keeping an eye on her face to make sure she was okay. Things had gotten a little rough several days earlier and he knew she'd suffered some discomfort that had lingered. He didn't want to do that again until she was ready for it.

He leaned into her ear. "You feel amazing," he said softly. She did. She still fit tight around him and, as usual, it escalated his pleasure. Her eyes were fluttering and her lips slightly parted and he knew she was right on edge. He slid one hand under her bottom, tipping her closer against him. She drew in a quick breath and he pushed against her, suddenly letting go. He pressed his mouth against her shoulder, aware of the strangled noises he was making as she stiffened for a second and then rocked her hips again and again, squeezing him inside her as she came. He followed almost immediately behind her.

He collapsed on top of her, breathing hard. She kept her arms around his neck, breathing hard herself. He held her close for a few minutes, then kissed her forehead and moved over, lying on his side facing her. he let his fingers trail down her arm and she turned her head to look at him. "I love you," she murmured.

He smiled. "I love you too."

She smiled back. "Go back to sleep." He nodded. He was definitely exhausted. She rolled onto her side, her back facing him and tucked in against him. He wrapped his arm around her and closed his eyes.

* * *

When he woke up later, the sun was shining brightly in the room through the curtains. Connie was gone. He felt a little disoriented at first as he tried to remember what day it was. He'd been working a lot and having a newborn in the house, and in their bedroom, was exhausting. Ryleigh was a good baby overall but, after all, she was still a baby. He smiled when he thought about her. She still had those bright blue eyes and the barely there tufts of dark hair. She was gaining weight but she was still tiny. She was starting to be able to focus on whoever was speaking and was even beginning to develop some of her own personality traits. Connie was happier having her home and he loved watching her with their daughter. When he remembered his mom was in town, that's when he remembered what day of the week it was.

It was the day Taylor, Chase, and Addie were coming to Nashville.

* * *

They had been to Nashville once before. It had been in October, when there had been a long weekend because of teacher workdays. Patty and the kids had flown out to take a look around and get the lay of the land. His relationship with Connie was still new and it had created a rift between the two of them. It had been one of those occasions where she had pushed him away, telling him she couldn't be involved with him. They had bickered about it and had both said things they later regretted. As much as he'd tried to focus on his family and not her, he knew he would need to make it up to her. He'd shown up on her front porch after he'd dropped the family off at the airport and they had made up until the early morning hours.

"_I really don't know if I have the strength for this, Chip," she said, as he held her close in his arms. "I feel like what I should do is the right thing, the correct thing, not the selfish thing. I feel completely selfish and like I don't know right from wrong."_

_He kissed her forehead. "Are you saying we're wrong? That we shouldn't love each other?"_

_She looked into his eyes. "Yes, that's what I'm saying. I shouldn't want you, I shouldn't be doing this right now with you. I shouldn't have let you in my house tonight."_

_It hurt him to his core to hear her like this, although he knew why she said it and he also knew why he should listen. It wasn't as though he didn't feel incredible guilt. It wasn't that he didn't understand the consequences. "But we love each other, Connie," he said. "Or at least I love you. Are you saying you don't love me?"_

_She breathed in. "No, you know that's not what I'm saying. But we should be able to control those feelings." She sighed. "I feel terrible."_

_He knew he shouldn't do it, but he also knew the words were words she felt she had to say. So he slid his hand between them and touched her between her legs. She moaned, but she didn't pull away. He gently pushed the tip of his finger inside her and she moaned again and then arched herself against him. "I don't think you feel terrible," he murmured into her ear._

"_Chip," she whispered, a lightness to her voice, and then he felt her relax. He thrust his finger all the way inside her and she squirmed. "Oh, Chip," she groaned. He rolled her onto her back and she then took him in again enthusiastically._

It had always been like that for them, but that night had seemed to be the turning point, when she gave up trying to push him away and went all in. And somehow he had forgotten what the consequences could be until he was faced with her pregnancy. He'd had to make a decision then and he had followed his heart. He knew he wouldn't have changed that decision. But now he wanted his kids to accept them. _All_ of them. He was determined to figure that out.

* * *

He was early. Way early. But he was looking forward to seeing them and he hadn't wanted to wait. Plus he had that nervous anxiety. So he was standing just outside the security checkpoint, watching every group of people who walked through. Finally he saw them and he couldn't help but smile. Taylor was the first and she came up and hugged him.

"Hey, Dad," she said, with a big smile.

He hugged her back, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, Tay," he said, feeling emotional. "I'm so glad you're here. How was the flight?"

"Long, but fine. Tiring."

"Well, y'all are staying with Nana and she's got a pretty nice place." He then grabbed Chase for a hug and finally turned to Addie, who was hanging back with a sullen look on her face.

He ignored the look, just happy to see her. Since she hadn't come to the beach, he hadn't seen her since he'd left LA. "Hey, baby," he said as he hugged her close. "You doing okay?"

She pulled away and crossed her arms over her chest, shrugging. "I guess," she said, not really looking directly at him. He felt like his heart was being ripped out. She turned and started to head for the baggage claim.

He hurried to catch up with her, putting his arm around her shoulders. After a second, she shrugged it off and stepped away from him. "Addie," he said. She kept walking. "Addie," he said again, his voice a little more firm.

She looked back at him, an angry look on her face. "What?"

He frowned. "It's been a while since I've seen you, Addie. Can you drop the attitude for at least a little while?" She didn't respond, just walked over to the steps and jogged down them quickly, leaving the rest of them behind. He decided to let it go for the time being, not really wanting to get into it in a public area. Once they picked up their bags, they headed for the exit and the parking lot beyond.

"How's the baby doing, Dad?" Taylor asked as they walked across to the lot.

He smiled, glad to have something pleasant to talk about. "She's good. Gaining weight." He grinned. "I think she smiled at me the other day, so clearly she's pretty smart and ahead of the curve."

"Well, we're looking forward to meeting her." She smiled. "The pictures of her are so adorable. I think she looks like you."

He laughed. "That's what Connie says, but I think she looks more like her." Addie suddenly seemed to bristle and she fast walked ahead of them. She was about to walk past the row he was parked on, so he called out to her. "Sweetie, you're going too far." She looked back with a glare, then turned left. He felt a pit in his stomach. This was not going well, at least with Addie, and it worried him.

* * *

He pulled into the driveway of the Airbnb. Taylor and Chase had been talkative on the way over and had caught him up on things that were happening in their lives since they'd all left the beach. Addie sat silently in the front passenger seat, with her arms crossed, looking out of the side window. He had tried to pull her into the conversation in the car, but she refused and he decided to let it be. Taylor and Chase got out of the car and then he popped the trunk. His mom came out of the front door and he was getting ready to get out and grab the suitcases when Addie finally spoke.

"I don't want to see her," she said, her voice tight and angry.

"What?" he asked. "But you came all this way..."

She turned to look at him, her eyes blazing and her face red. "I'm not talking about the baby. I'm talking about _her_. I won't come over if she's going to be around. And I'm _not_ speaking to her. I don't want her anywhere around." Her voice was loud and cutting. It was loud enough that Taylor and Chase had turned to look and his mom had a worried look on her face.

He was a little stunned, but then he frowned. "I'm sorry, Addie, but that's just not going to happen."

"I can't believe you would let her be in the house while we're there. She ruined everything. I'll go home if you make me even see her."

He glanced at his mom and she seemed to give him a warning look. He looked back at Addie. "Addie, she's Ryleigh's mother. And Ryleigh is a newborn and needs her mother. That's just not negotiable."

Addie was silent at first, but she was shaking with anger. Finally she looked at him. "I hate her and I hate you. Everything is wrong. I wish I'd never come out here." She then jumped out of the car and ran towards the house, pulling away even when his mom tried to reach out for her. She opened the front door and ran in, slamming the door behind her.

He just stood there, looking in the direction his daughter had gone. He couldn't decide whether to go after her or to just let it go for the time being. He wanted to cry, but he also wanted to tell her how rude she'd been. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, his mom gesture towards Taylor and Chase to go inside. Then she walked over to him. "I'm sorry, Chip," she said.

He shook his head. "No. That's unacceptable. She can't just demand Connie leave while they're here. it's rude."

She put a hand on his arm. "Chip, this is hard for her."

He looked at her. "I don't care, Mom. She's not going to tell me what to do."

"I understand how you feel," she said.

He raised his eyebrows. "Do you? Connie's my...well, she's Ryleigh's mama. She deserves to be treated more respectfully than that."

"Chip, Connie is the one who took you away from them. That's how they see it. Their lives are turned upside down because of what happened between the two of you. I think you need to consider whether fighting Addie is worth losing her altogether." He just stared at her. "Look, it was a long flight. It's an emotional situation they're walking into. Let them get some sleep and maybe things will look a little different in the morning." She paused. "I think you should go home and prepare Connie. Let me take care of them tonight. Please."

He hesitated. He didn't want to leave things as they were, but he also knew it might be easier if it was his mom who tried to reason with Addie. Finally he nodded. "Okay." She hugged him.

"Go home. Get some sleep. Talk to Connie." She gave him an encouraging smile. "We'll get through this."

He hesitated again, but he finally, reluctantly, got back in the car and headed for home.

**Connie**

She could see it on his face, the minute he walked in the door. His jaw was set, his eyes smoldering with anger. She had a lump in the pit of her stomach as she watched him. He slammed his keys down on the counter. He didn't say anything, just paced around the kitchen at first. Finally he headed for the den, stopping to pour a glass of whiskey before he came and sat on the couch. He took a long swallow and then breathed out. She could tell it hadn't gone well and that, in fact, something had really pissed him off. She waited, but he just kept taking hits from his glass and not looking at her. When he'd drained the glass, he leaned forward and slammed it down on the coffee table, making her jump.

"What happened?" she asked. He looked at her and the mix of anger and hurt in his eyes nearly took her breath away. "Chip, please tell me." Suddenly it was as though he had just crumbled right there in front of her. Tears streaked down his face, his lips seemed to tremble, and the fire just went out of him. She got up from her end of the couch and went to sit in his lap, wrapping her arms around him. He leaned into her, his body shaking with tears, putting his arms around her. She let him cry, just holding him and making soothing noises. She could wait until he was ready.

Finally his body stopped shaking and he let out a long breath, and he seemed to relax. Or maybe just give in. She started to move off his lap, but he held her tight. She laid her cheek against the top of his head, rubbing his back. "I'm so sorry," she murmured. She had no idea exactly what had happened, but she knew instinctively that he'd been devastatingly disappointed with the reunion with his kids.

When he finally looked up at her, his eyes were red with tears and he looked defeated. "I don't know what to do," he said, his voice broken.

"Tell me what happened," she said soothingly. He let her go then and she moved off his lap. She put her hands on his face, making him look at her, as she searched his face for clues.

He took a deep breath. "I don't even know how to say it," he said.

"Do they not want to see Ryleigh after all?" she asked. It was what she'd been afraid of, that it would be too much. No matter how adorable Ryleigh was or how innocent she was of the circumstances that had resulted in her being born, she sensed it would be hard for Chip's kids to reconcile that at the end of the day.

He shook his head and she saw the hurt in his eyes again. "They don't want to see _you_." She felt like she'd been kicked in the gut. "At least Addie doesn't." He reached up and took her hands, holding them tight. He leaned in and kissed her. "I told her that wasn't possible and that it wasn't right and it wasn't gonna happen.

She breathed in deeply. Truthfully, she wasn't all that surprised. Especially about Addie. She had refused to come to the beach, after all. She knew Addie was the one who had taken it all the hardest and had been the angriest, according to Chip. She squeezed his hands. "It's okay," she said, even though her heart hurt. More for Chip than for herself, but she had hoped maybe there would be a crack.

He frowned. "No, actually it's _not_ okay, Connie. She's gonna have to figure out how to accept this."

She sighed. "It's really not her responsibility to do that, Chip. She obviously sees herself as the injured party and she's not wrong." As much as it devastated her, she had to be fair. She had to step outside herself, for her own sake as well as Chip's. "Remember, we need to take it slow. You're trying to jump in the deep end right away."

"It's not fair to you, though. And Ryleigh needs her mama."

She smiled. "Ryleigh will have her daddy," she said, leaning in for a kiss. "And she'll be meeting her other brother and her sisters for the first time. I think that's a lot for a little baby. You're familiar to her and that's all that really matters."

* * *

She came downstairs with Ryleigh and handed her over to Chip. "Here's your sweet girl, Daddy," she said, with a sad smile. Ryleigh was dressed in a pink cotton onesie, with a tiny pink cap. She kissed the baby gently on the cheek and Ryleigh made a soft little cooing noise. "Will you be a good girl for your daddy?" she asked. She glanced up at Chip and smiled, then looked back at her baby, who was reaching for her nose. She rubbed her nose against Ryleigh's chest and she kicked her feet and her eyes lit up and she made another little noise. "I love you, sweet girl. Be good." She straightened up and looked at Chip. He looked sad and she reached up and cupped his jaw, scratching his cheek with her thumb. "Just text me, okay?"

He nodded, his face solemn. He put a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. "You shouldn't have to do this," he said.

She shrugged. "It's fine, babe. Try not to let it get under your skin." She walked over to get her keys and purse. "Yoby!" she called out.

He ran in from the den. "Here I am!" he cried.

She held her hand out. "Come here," she said. He ran over and took her hand. She looked back up at Chip. "I'll see you later?' He nodded, shifting Ryleigh so she was propped up on against his chest.

He put his hand on the small of her back and gave her a kiss. "I wish you didn't have to do this," he said, looking morose.

"I know. I do too. But it's okay. Yoby and I can have a mother-son afternoon at the park. We'll be fine." She kissed him again and headed for the door with Yoby. When she got to the door, she turned back to look at him. He looked so brokenhearted and, for just a moment, she felt anger towards Addie for putting him in this position. But she pushed it down, reminding herself that she didn't want to stand in the way of them being able to mend the hurt between them.

She walked out into the garage and got Yoby situated in the back of her convertible, then got into the front seat. She put on her sunglasses and started the car, raising the garage door. She backed out and then headed down the driveway. She and Yoby were going to spend the afternoon at Radnor Lake and then maybe go for ice cream. She felt tears in her eyes as they headed towards the main road, but she was doing what was needed. She wouldn't always give in like this, but she didn't want to start off by being a bitch. As she drove, the sun felt warm against her skin and it started to lift her spirits.

**Chip**

He hated that Connie had left. He hated the whole situation. They had just laid in each other's arms all night. There had been little conversation, but there hadn't been much to say. He only hoped that somehow Addie would come around before they went back to LA. He looked down at Ryleigh, who was wriggling in his arms. He kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad you're too young to know anything about this," he whispered. He turned and set her in her baby seat and went to the fridge for a bottle. After he had warmed the bottle, he picked her up and carried her upstairs to the nursery.

He settled into the chair and put the bottle to her mouth. As she fed, her eyes focused on his and he smiled. "So your nana is coming over soon," he said to her. "And she's bringing over some new faces. Your sisters and your other brother. They came all the way from California to meet you. I know they're gonna love you, sweet girl." He sighed. "Taylor's the oldest. Then Chase, your brother, and Addie. I think Addie's gonna maybe be the hardest to win over, but I know you will." He felt a lump in his throat. "I want us all to be a family. Including your mama. You're so lucky to have her. I know someday everyone will know how amazing she is and be glad she's here."

He closed his eyes for a second and then opened them again, feeling the hint of tears. He thought back to her question on the beach. _What will we tell her about us?_ There were painful parts to the story and they weren't things he wanted Ryleigh to hear, although he knew they wouldn't have complete control of that part of the story. But the story was more than that. and that was what he hoped one day would be what his older kids would understand. It wasn't that he'd never loved Patty, because he had, but it just wasn't the end of _his_ story. And while he acknowledged it was, and would be, hard for the kids, he wanted to be inclusive. He wanted them to be part of his life, to be part of Ryleigh's life and Yoby's. but most of all he wanted Connie to be part of theirs one day.

He put Ryleigh on his shoulder and rubbed her back. He loved these times with her. After she burped, he held her up in front of him. "Hey, sweet girl," he said with a smile. "Are you Daddy's girl?' She waved her arms and then made a tiny noise. He grinned. "That's right. You are." Just then the doorbell rang and she twitched at the sound. He pulled her in close and stood up. "They're here," he said and he walked out of the room and down the stairs.

* * *

He stood over to the side as he watched his mom hold Ryleigh. Taylor and Chase were sitting close, but Addie was sitting in one of the chairs, a bored look on her face. He walked over and leaned down. "You think you could go sit with Taylor and Chase?" he said quietly.

She frowned and looked at him. "I saw her. Isn't that what you wanted?"

He paused for a second. "Yes, I do want that. But I'd also like for you to seem interested. You know, I get that you're mad at _me_, but you don't have to be mad at Ryleigh. She's a baby. She's done nothing to you." Addie looked like she was going to say something, but he gave her a warning look. "Don't put all your mad on an innocent baby. That's not fair, to her or to whatever relationship you could have with her."

Addie just glared at him and then suddenly she pushed up from the chair and stormed out the back door onto the deck, slamming it behind her. His mom looked up, along with Taylor and Chase. Ryleigh started to cry, startled by the noise, and it infuriated him. He was going to follow Addie, but his mom gave him a look. Then she turned to Taylor, with a smile. "Would you like to hold her?" she asked.

Taylor beamed. "Yes," she said, eagerly taking the baby and settling her in her arms. Ryleigh's cries started to fade. She looked up at him then. "She's adorable, Dad."

He gave her a tight smile. His mom got up and came over to him. She put a hand on his arm. "Let me talk to her," she murmured. He breathed in and then nodded, then watched as she headed for the back door and the deck.

He could feel the tension in his body. He wanted to know what was going on outside, but seeing Taylor and Chase hovering over Ryleigh warmed his heart. He was torn, but finally he sat on the coffee table in front of Taylor. She was talking and smiling at Ryleigh and the baby kicked her feet and waved her arms. He couldn't help but smile. This was what he was hoping for, although he'd wanted it to be all three of them.

Taylor looked up. "She's so good, Dad. Is she always this way?"

He smiled. "Most of the time. So far, anyway. She's hasn't been around that long yet. Things could change." Taylor grinned. "You know, she reminds me a lot of you when you were a baby." Taylor looked surprised. He nodded. "She does. She's happy. She doesn't cry a lot. And she's beautiful." She smiled.

"Were you scared when she was in the hospital?" Chase asked.

"Yeah, even though I was sure she'd be okay. But she was really little. I'd never seen a baby that tiny before. She didn't even weigh 5 pounds." He paused. "It's a lot to deal with, when they're in the NICU though. There were other babies in there who were really sick. We were just grateful she wasn't one of them." He could sense it then. It was like the air went out of the room for a second and he started to wonder how long it might take for them all to somehow accept Connie. He glanced towards the back door, wondering what was happening there.

"I would guess, if your baby was in the hospital for all that time, it would be hard to leave her there," Taylor said. "That has to be really sad."

He nodded. "It was. Although it wasn't the same, in some ways it reminded me of when Addie would be in the hospital. Leaving your child is never easy." The double meaning of that hovered in the room. He hoped they understood leaving _them_ hadn't been any easier.

* * *

When his mom came back in the house, she was alone. She walked up, a frustrated look on her face. "So I'm going to take Addie back to the house," she said.

He frowned. "Mom..."

She shook her head. "She's not her best self right now. I think it would be best." She looked at Taylor and Chase. "Are y'all ready?"

Taylor shook her head. "No, I'm not. Just because Addie has to be such a drama queen, it doesn't mean _I_ have to go." Normally he would have chided her for calling Addie a drama queen, but he decided to leave it alone this time.

Chase hesitated for a second. "I'll come with you," he said to his grandmother.

Taylor looked annoyed and she gave him a pleading look. He knew it meant she wasn't ready to leave. "I'll take you back when you're ready," he said and she gave him a smile. He stood up then. "I don't know that we should give in," he said to his mother.

His mom gave him an understanding smile. "I don't think we're doing that. We're just giving her a little space so she can adjust her thinking." She put her hand on his arm. "She'll come back."

He wasn't sure he believed her, but he also knew his mom could be very persuasive and wasn't above using some gentle pressure. He kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks, Mom," he said. She smiled and then headed for the front door.

Chase followed. He stopped at the door and turned back. "See you tomorrow, Dad," he said. He reached out to hug his son and kissed him on the cheek. Then he watched his son walk out of the house behind his grandmother.

He stood facing the door after it had closed. His heart felt heavy. He wished he knew what to say to Addie to make it all better, but he felt like she'd put a wall up and he wasn't exactly sure what the magic formula was to change that. Then Ryleigh started crying and he turned back to Taylor. He smiled. "I think she needs to be changed. You want to give it a try?" She looked a little horrified and he laughed. "I'm kidding. I'll handle it." He took Ryleigh from her. "I'll be back." Taylor nodded and he carried his crying daughter upstairs.

* * *

He was sitting on the couch next to Taylor, who was holding Ryleigh, fascinated by her. She had fed her baby sister and then he'd shown her how to burp a baby. When Ryleigh had obliged, Taylor looked at him with a smile. "She even burps cute," she said.

He laughed. "I guess you're right," he said. "Very ladylike, for sure."

The door from the garage opened then and he looked over his shoulder. He was surprised to see Connie and Yoby walk in. He stood up. "Hey," he said. "I wasn't expecting you yet."

She looked frustrated, and tired. She nodded her head towards her son. "He was getting cranky. And a little too smarty pants for me, so I really needed to bring him home." Yoby looked stubborn and sullen, pulling his hand from Connie's.

He glanced down at Taylor. She was holding Ryleigh against her shoulder, her head bowed down slightly. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want there to be a scene. He walked around to where Connie stood. "Let me take him upstairs. I'm sure he needs a nap, " he said, his voice low.

She shook her head. "I can do it."

"Let me," he said, knowing he sounded insistent.

She shrugged. "Okay." He mouthed the words 'go talk to her' and then headed upstairs with Yoby.


	22. Chapter 22

**Connie**

As she watched Chip round the corner with Yoby to take him upstairs, she felt like she could barely breathe. Her palms felt damp, her stomach was in knot. She was supposed to wait for Chip to text her to let her know the coast was clear but, as the afternoon wore on, Yoby got crankier. She knew he needed a nap but she had tried to keep him entertained. She had taken him for ice cream but he hadn't gotten very far with it when he leaned it too far to one side and the ice cream had slid off onto the concrete. He had screamed with displeasure. An employee had obviously seen it happen and had run out with another one, but he wouldn't take it.

She finally got him into his car seat, although it had taken twice as long as it usually did, with her fighting to get him in. When she got into the driver's seat, she sat for a moment, both hands on the wheel and her head bent down, letting herself give in to the tears. Yoby could be a handful at times, but he was typically not out of control. She had been worried about how things were going between Chip and his kids. And she wanted to hold her baby, to snuggle into her and kiss her all over. She finally put the key in the ignition and started for home. Yoby was still crying, but his sobbing had wound down to him just quietly crying, sniffling now and then. She glanced back at him and, at a stop sign, chose a playlist of songs he liked, and started his favorite. The one he called A Lion and a Cheetah. It usually brought a smile to his face. It didn't this time, but he did finally calm down. She sighed. _God, I hate to hear myself sing._

She had seen Cynthia turn out of the neighborhood as she approached and it looked to her like the kids were in the car, so even though she had to come home early, at least it wouldn't cause chaos. And then, when she walked into the house, she saw Taylor. Chip went upstairs with Yoby and she tried to calm her nerves by breathing in and out, but it was hard. She put her hands on her hips and finally managed a deep breath. Her heart was pounding though.

"Do you want to take her?" Taylor's voice startled her. She was standing close, so she'd obviously gotten up from the couch, and she had Ryleigh in her arms.

She hesitated for a second. "Sure," she said, and Taylor handed her off. She pressed her cheek to Ryleigh's head and felt her breathing ease and her heartbeat level off. She looked back at Taylor, who was still standing there. She nodded in the direction of the couch. "You want to sit?" Taylor nodded and then followed her into the den.

She didn't know what to say and the silence between them started to stretch out. Finally Taylor broke the silence. "She's a really sweet baby," she said. "And so pretty."

She smiled. "Thanks." Ryleigh lifted her arm and patted her hand. She put her thumb in Ryleigh's palm and wrapped her other fingers loosely around her tiny hand. Ryleigh tightened her grip. She couldn't help it, she leaned over and lifted Ryleigh's hand to her lips and brushed her hand gently. "I think we got lucky." She saw Taylor's eyes look away for a moment. Then she looked back, her gaze steady but no hint of anger.

"I've really been looking forward to meeting her," she said. "Dad has sent pictures almost every day. So many pictures." A little smile formed on her lips. "She's even more adorable in person."

"I'm glad you came. That you all did. I know your dad has been anxious for y'all to meet her."

Taylor took a deep breath then. "It's hard, for all of us. I don't want to close the door on my dad, so I want to make those efforts for him and for her" – she nodded towards Ryleigh – "but I can't promise anything beyond that."

She nodded. "I understand."

Taylor frowned just slightly. "Do you really? Do you really know what it feels like when your dad says he still loves you, but he's leaving you? That there's someone else he'd rather be with and to do that means leaving _you_." Her eyes looked sad.

"I guess maybe I really don't. And I guess, for the time being, there's not anything I can do or say to change any of it." Her heart hurt.

Taylor shook her head. "I think we need to work through it in our way, in our own time. I don't _want_ to shut the door, but it's gonna be a process. And we all will process it differently." She glanced at Ryleigh. "I want to love her. She's my half-sister. I guess I do love her like people tend to love all babies. She's cute and holding her feels amazing. Watching how she looks at my dad, with all that innocence and trust, and just trying to get that back for myself." She breathed in deeply. "I know, in my head, that he loves you and you love him. But my heart still says it's wrong, that it shouldn't be like this."

It was hard to hear and, at first, it made her wonder why she'd let it happen. But then Ryleigh wriggled against her and she knew she wouldn't ever apologize for the little baby girl she held in her arms. Taylor and her brother and sister couldn't truly understand that, just as she couldn't put herself in their shoes. All she could hope for is that someday they could all rise above it. "I appreciate your honesty," she said to Taylor. "I really do." There was a knot in her chest. She closed her eyes and rested her cheek on the top of Ryleigh's head.

"I hope we can always be honest with each other." She opened her eyes and looked at Taylor. "I want my dad in my life. And Ryleigh. I think we'll just have to work on it."

Just then Chip walked down the stairs and they both turned to look at him. He looked back and forth between them, a question on his face. She could see Taylor stand up. "I think I'm ready to go, Dad," she said. He nodded and then looked at her. She put on a smile for him to hopefully let him know she was okay. He put his arm around Taylor then and they walked out the back door to the garage.

Once the door closed, the tears started to roll down her face. She couldn't help but wonder if things would ever be okay. She started shaking, trying to hold back the sobbing. Ryleigh started to make agitated noises, but she couldn't stop crying. Ryleigh started crying then too and she struggled trying to get her emotions under control so she wasn't upsetting her baby. She got up and walked up the stairs. She peeked in Yoby's room and saw he was asleep, sprawled across his bed. She continued on to her bedroom. She initially thought about putting Ryleigh in her bassinette, but then decided to lay on the bed with her. She pulled the covers down slightly and gently placed her daughter between the pillows, crawling onto the bed after her.

She ran her hand gently over Ryleigh's body, making soothing noises. Ryleigh waved her arms and legs in the air and she smiled. Then she pulled her daughter in close to her body, kissing her all over her face. Ryleigh opened her mouth and gave her what looked like a gummy smile, which was what she decided it really was. It lifted her spirits and she smiled. "Mama loves you, my sweet," she murmured. "The day can seem dark and stormy but you brighten it up anyway. You're my precious love. I'm so glad to be your mom." She laid her head on the pillow and played with Ryleigh until the baby drifted off to sleep. Which was where Chip found her when he got back.

**Chip**

Taylor was mostly quiet as they drove to the house. Finally he looked over. "You wanna talk about it?" he asked.

Taylor sighed. "Ryleigh is precious. So pretty, such a sweetheart. But...it's hard, you know? It's just all more real now that she's here. All I can think about is that you had an affair with Connie Britton and the two of you had a baby. And you chose her and Ryleigh. It feels like you didn't think about us at all."

He tried to breathe, but it felt like the air was caught in his throat. His heart felt heavy and tears pricked at his eyes. "Taylor, I'm sorry I hurt you. And that I hurt Chase and Addie. Even that I hurt your mom. I'm not going to try to explain it, because I can't completely explain it. Not in a way where you'd understand, in any case. And I don't want to minimize what it did to all of you. Maybe someday we can talk about it, but I think trying to explain right now would make it worse." He reached across and grabbed her hand. "What I do want to say is that I hope you won't blame Ryleigh or push her away. She didn't do anything but be born. I want you to know her and for her to know you. Will you try?"

She looked at him and then nodded. "Yeah, I will."

"And I'll try to wait for you, even though you know that's a hard thing for me to do. All I want is for us to get through this and be a family. I'm impatient. I know that." He drove into the driveway then and put the car in park. He turned to her. "I love you, Taylor. I love all of you. I just need you to know that."

She nodded. "I do know that. _We_ know that. My crystal ball's just not working so well right now and I can't be sure what's next."

He leaned over and put his arm around her, then kissed her cheek. "Don't give up on us," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow, I hope."

She opened the car door and stepped out, then looked back in. "Bye, Dad," she said, giving him a little smile. "Thanks." Then she closed the door and he watched her walk up to the front door and go inside.

As he drove back home, he thought about the fact that this was all so different than how he thought it would be. Everyone had told him it _would_ be – his mom, Cathy, Connie – but he had really believed it would be better somehow, that enough time had passed to start to heal some of the wounds. Everyone else was right, as it turned out. He had been wrong. He'd badly misjudged where his kids were on the continuum of acceptance. He still saw glimmers of hope with Taylor, that she might be more open, but she wasn't as far along as he'd hoped. Chase was mostly neutral, and he had found that encouraging in the beginning, but now he wondered. But Addie – his baby girl, Addie – she was so far away from being open to anything that he wondered if she ever would be.

He felt tears rolling down his face and he made no move to wipe them away. Somehow he'd really missed the signs on all this. He only had himself to blame – he was told this was how it would be – but he had thought he could make it okay. Patty had told him the same thing, when they had spoken about child support and visitation. _They're a long way from healing, Chip. I know you live your life with rose-colored glasses on and it's all about the glass being half full, but you got this totally wrong. I'm not going to badmouth you to them or discourage them from reaching out for whatever relationship they want with you, as much as I might want to. But there's a lot of work and no guarantees. You made choices that really hurt people and are affecting everyone, including your new daughter._ That had been sobering. Having her mention Ryleigh had made him uncomfortable, but he knew she was right.

He breathed in. He was where he wanted to be, but he was no longer as sure of the future as he had been.

* * *

He pulled into the garage and just sat in the car for a few minutes. The reality of everything washed over him again and he sat until he could end the tears and regain control of himself_. I wouldn't change anything with respect to Connie,_ he told himself. _But maybe I could have done things differently back when it all started. _He breathed in deeply, wiped his eyes, and then let his breath out in a whoosh. He waited a couple more minutes before he got out of the car and headed inside.

The downstairs was empty and quiet when he walked in. He hustled up the stairs and first looked into Yoby's room. He was still sound asleep, laying almost crosswise on his bed, on his stomach and with one foot hanging off the side. Then he walked down to his and Connie's bedroom, where he found her laying on the bed. She looked up when he walked up to the door and smiled. "Hey," she said.

"Hey." As he approached the bed, he could see Ryleigh laying there, sound asleep. He crawled onto the bed gently. Ryleigh kicked a foot but then settled back down, still asleep. He leaned over her and kissed Connie, who put her hand on his arm, rubbing up and down. "How are you?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Okay. But, more importantly, how are _you_?"

He felt a lump in his throat, but tried to stay calm. "Not as good as I'd hoped I'd be. Clearly there was no magic breakthrough, which is what I was hoping for. Addie wouldn't hardly look at Ryleigh and it broke my heart. She's just so angry." He couldn't help it. Thinking about how upset and angry Addie had been brought the tears back. She frowned and reached up to brush them away. Feeling her fingers on his face felt comforting.

She sighed. "I'm so sorry. I wanted it to be okay for you."

He gave her a sad smile. "But you were right all along, and I was wrong."

She frowned. "You were hopeful. I get that. I was too. I hate how this makes you feel."

"But it's hurtful to you too." She looked away. He reached out and put his finger on her chin and turned her back to look at him. "It is." He smiled. "Taylor really loved Ryleigh though. And Chase was interested, but he's a boy, so, you know."

She sighed. "Taylor _wants_ to love Ryleigh. And hopefully she will. I just don't want Ryleigh to be hurt when she's older." She looked down at their still sleeping baby. "I'm going to put her in her bassinette." He watched as she got up from the bed and then gently picked up Ryleigh, carrying her over and placing her in her bassinette. She stood there, her back rigid. Then she sighed. "We've really messed things up for you," she said.

He frowned. "What?"

"We have. If we'd never met each other. If we'd never given in to the chemistry, never made it real." She sighed again. "If you'd used a condom that night. You wouldn't be where you are."

He got up and walked up behind her, putting his arms around her. She felt stiff in his arms, as though she were holding in her emotions, which she probably was. "Don't say that," he whispered in her ear. "If we hadn't met, I would have missed out on knowing someone as amazing as you. If we hadn't given in to the chemistry, I would never have known what I was missing in my life." He smiled just a little. "If I hadn't forgotten to wear a condom, we wouldn't have this precious girl, who, by the way, I would never wish away. Maybe if she'd never come to be, we wouldn't have known to miss her, but I just can't imagine never knowing her now." He kissed her shoulder. "I love you, Connie. I love our life and our little girl. I thought I had what I wanted in life, until I didn't. And that had been missing long before I met you." He felt her start to relax in his arms. "I know the circumstances weren't ideal, but I wouldn't trade this for anything."

"It just hurt so many people, mainly the ones who mean the most to _you_. I don't know that they will ever accept me and I worry about whether they'll blame Ryleigh. And I worry that they won't ever feel the same way about you again and that's really what hurts the most."

He had to admit he'd wondered about the last part, more than anything. He'd chosen Connie and that might have damaged his relationship with his kids forever. It hurt him deeply to consider that. "I made the right choice though. I chose to be happy," he said. "I believe we can heal. I know I'm impatient about that and I'll have to learn to wait for it. I think it's gonna happen though."

She turned around and looked up at him. "One of the things I love most about you is your optimism. And the thing I dislike the most about myself right now is how much I feel like I've hurt you and caused you pain."

He shook his head. "I don't want you to feel like that. It's still raw, I get that. But I'm determined to work through this with them. To show them nothing has changed about how I feel about them and how much I still want to be their dad."

"But you might end up resenting me."

"No. That won't happen. I promise." She started to respond and he cut her off by kissing her, long and slow. When he finally pulled away, he smiled. "I love you, Connie Britton. You're my heart. We'll figure this out. We will." Then he leaned in and kissed her again.

**Connie**

She got loud. She couldn't help it. It was like there were fireworks going off inside her. Her hands were on Chip's shoulders as she leaned over him, her orgasm building up to a fiery crescendo. His hands were on her hips and she felt him tense up underneath her before letting go with a low groan. She was breathing hard but tried to be still, hoping their enthusiasm hadn't woken up Ryleigh. She didn't hear anything though and she finally rolled over onto her back. She laughed softly. "Oh, God, Chip," she said, still trying to catch her breath.

He turned his head to look at her. "You definitely have not lost your touch," he said, with a grin.

She swatted his chest with her hand, then rolled onto her side. "It's all because of you, babe," she said, pressing a kiss on his chest. She leaned towards him and he kissed her. He slid his arm around her waist and pulled her close.

He chuckled softly. "Good thing you didn't wake up our daughter though," he said with a grin. "You were a little bit...boisterous there."

She drew in a breath, but smiled at him anyway. "I think that's on you," she said.

He raised his eyebrows and smirked. "I must be pretty good then," he said with a laugh.

She laughed with him and kissed him lightly on the lips. "You are," she said. She sighed then. "I need to get some sleep though. While Yoby and Ryleigh are with your mom tomorrow, I've got to go in for wardrobe fitting." She made a face.

"What are they doing? Giving you some different hospital gown offerings?"

She shook her head. "No. It's for the next few episodes. I think they want to see if I can still fit into the same size as before." She raised her eyebrows. "Especially the blouses and shirts."

"I think you look perfect." He rubbed his thumb along the side of one of her breasts, a zinger shooting through her. "And these are perfect too."

She smiled. "Thanks, babe." Then the smile faded. "It just makes everything more real, you know? I mean, in a week and a half, I'm going back to work and this time with Ryleigh is over."

He shook his head. "It's _not_ over, sweetie. You're taking her with you, every day."

"I know, but I won't be able to devote full attention to her like I can now." She leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed again. "It's just going too fast."

"I know," he murmured, kissing her on the forehead. "You just gotta make the most of what's left and we'll manage the rest." He put his hand behind her neck and she looked up at him. He kissed her. "I think we both need some sleep, especially since I've got to get those two ready in the morning."

She nodded and then closed her eyes, letting herself relax into him. Before she knew it, she was asleep.

**Chip**

Connie had already left to go for her wardrobe appointment and then she was going to see her vocal coach. She wouldn't be singing for the first several episodes, but she told him she needed it. _I don't want to embarrass myself and it'll take that long to be sure I can actually sing._ He smiled to himself. She always sold herself short in that regard. He was taking Yoby and Ryleigh over to the house where his mom and the kids were staying, so that he could get to work.

Connie had already packed up diaper bags and put them in his car, so all he had to worry about was getting both kids in their car seats. He had Ryleigh in one arm and grabbed Yoby's hand with his other hand. "Let's go, buddy," he said.

"Where we goin'?" he asked, looking up.

He smiled. "Nana's. And Taylor, Chase, and Addie are there too."

Yoby grinned. "Yay!"

He started around the car to the side where Ryleigh's car seat was. "Let me get your sister in first," he said, dropping Yoby's hand to open the door.

"Wyleigh," Yoby said.

He laughed. "That's right. Stand right here," he said, pointing where he wanted Yoby to wait. Then he leaned in, gently placing Ryleigh in her car seat. This was actually her first car ride, other than the day they'd brought her home, so he was anxious to see how she did. It turned out she was just as difficult about being strapped into the car seat as she was about being dressed and he struggled a bit with getting her fastened in. he frowned playfully at her. "You need to let me do this, sweetie," he said, chiding her gently. When he finally got her in, he turned to Yoby. "Okay," he said. "Your turn."

Yoby ran around to the other side of the car. He closed the door and walked over to open the other door. Yoby scrambled in and got situated in the booster seat. He always liked to help with strapping in and almost did it himself. When he was set, he looked over at Ryleigh and patted her arm. "Be a good girl, Wyleigh," he said. She looked at him and waved her arms.

"You in there good, buddy?" he asked, as he checked the security.

"Yep!" Yoby said, loudly. Ryleigh made a little noise, but didn't start crying, thankfully.

He closed that door and then got into the driver's seat. He looked back over his shoulder. Yoby was behind him and he could see Ryleigh's profile in her backward-facing car seat. "Everybody ready?" he asked.

"Yes," Yoby declared. "We weady."

He smiled. "Why don't you hold baby sister's hand, Yobes? This is her first car ride," he said.

"Okay," he said happily, and he watched as Yoby took Ryleigh's hand in his own small one. He found himself hoping his older kids would one day be open to doing the same.

* * *

He put the bottles of breast milk in the fridge and pulled out the travel warmer for his mom. He showed her everything Connie had packed, including extra clothes and diapers, along with pull-ups for Yoby. He gave her Connie's number in case she needed to reach her and told her when he expected to be back to pick up the kids. When he walked back out through the great room to head for work, he was stopped short by the sight of Addie cuddling Ryleigh and it made him want to cry. His mom was standing next to him and she rubbed her hand on his back.

"See? I told you things would be better today. She and I had a long talk and I think it helped her separate her feelings in general with her feelings about her sister." She looked up at him. "Don't get ahead of yourself, though. This is about the baby right now. Just let her work through that. Don't push." He just nodded, but when he looked back, he couldn't help but feel a surge of hope.

**Connie**

She had just put on a black top to see how things fit, when her phone buzzed. She held up a finger. "Can I get that? My daughter is with her grandmother and it could be about that." She walked over to her phone, thinking to herself how much she loved being able to say 'my daughter'. She smiled when she picked up the phone and held it to her ear. "Hey, babe, did you get everybody dropped off? How was Ryleigh in the car?" she asked.

"She was great. Yoby held her hand the whole way." She could hear a smile in his voice.

"Oh, how sweet." She would love to see that.

"How's wardrobe fitting going? Any potential wardrobe malfunctions?" He laughed.

"Well, I think what I have on right now might need to be sized up, but fortunately, there's no cleavage baring outfit for the second episode. So I think we're good."

He chuckled. "Well, here's some good news. Surprising news. When I got ready to leave Mom's, Addie was holding Ryleigh."

She put her hand over her mouth. "Oh, Chip, that's wonderful. I'm so glad."

"I mean, it may not mean anything in the grand scheme of things and she may still hate me, probably still hates me, but at least she's warming up to Ryleigh. I can live with that, I think."

"I think we need to. It's a first step." She smiled to herself. "I wasn't sure how she was actually going to be able to resist the cutest baby in the world for very long."

"Clearly not long. So, I gotta get ready for this scene. I'll pick the kids up on the way home."

"I'll see you there. Hey, Chip?"

"Yeah?"

She smiled. "I love you."

"Love you too."

She disconnected, still smiling. She didn't put the phone down immediately, just held it to her chest. She loved her little family. Then she put the phone down and turned around. "So, I'm a little concerned I'm not going to get this off," she said. "It's incredibly snug."

* * *

When she had gotten home, she tried to read over the script, but she couldn't stay focused. Chip kept telling her going back to work would be okay, that she'd have the kids with her every day she was on set. She had managed to work and deal with being a mom to Yoby, although it had been hard and exhausting. But having a brand new baby, one who would just be finally at the date she was supposed to be born, had been a different matter. The thought of leaving her daughter for the smallest amount of time had been difficult. Having to keep a low profile while Chip's kids were in town had meant she was spending a lot of time without her baby. She had mixed feelings about it, feelings she didn't want to bother Chip with. But she felt a mix of sadness and irritation. She wanted to be understanding, but at times it had been hard. She felt like she was already missing so much.

She walked upstairs to the nursery and opened up the closet. She loved to look at the tiny clothes and the little shoes she'd received for Ryleigh. She picked up a little pair of Uggs that, even as tiny as they were, were still way too big for Ryleigh's tiny feet. She had lots of bows that she'd yet to put on Ryleigh's head. There were so many little pink outfits as well as outfits in all sorts of pastels. There were even a tiny pair of cowboy boots she couldn't wait for her daughter to wear. She picked up a really soft pink and white blanket and wished it was cool enough to wrap Ryleigh up in it. She wondered what she would be like in the late fall or winter when it would be time to use it. It felt like her daughter changed every day. She was able to focus on faces and she loved how fascinated she seemed every time she looked at Chip or Yoby. She had wondered how Yoby would handle being a big brother, but he'd been very sweet with her.

She was so caught up in her musings that she hadn't heard the door open downstairs. "Hey," Chip said from the door. He was holding Ryleigh but then Yoby whipped around his legs and ran to her.

"Mama!" he cried. She leaned over and picked him up, settling him on her hip. "Hey there, little man," she said, with a smile. "How was your day?"

"Gweat!" he said. "Did TV with Chase."

She frowned a little and looked over at Chip. "How do you do TV?"

Chip smiled. "Video games."

She walked over to him and lifted her face so he could kiss her. "Hey," she said, with a smile.

"Hey." She caught a little something in his voice.

"You okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah," he said, but she was pretty sure that wasn't true. But she wouldn't pry. She leaned towards Ryleigh and rubbed her nose against the baby's nose.

"Hey, sweet girl." Ryleigh lifted her hand and tried to grip her nose with her hand. She laughed, grabbing her daughter's hand and kissing it. "You can't have Mama's nose, little girl. No, you can't." She suddenly felt a little teary looking at the child she never thought she could have and felt enormous gratitude for the chance to have had her. She blinked a few times, then looked up at Chip. "I'll go order delivery. Any preference?"

He thought for a moment. "You up for barbeque?"

She nodded. "Sure, I can do that. It might mean takeout though."

He grinned. "I think I can manage."

She patted his arm, then headed for the stairs with Yoby. She looked at him. "You want a hamburger, Yobes?"

He nodded. "Yes!"

"Okay, then. Let's go order it." She headed out and down the stairs.

**Chip**

She put her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around her. She rubbed his chest. "You seemed a little distant tonight. Is everything okay?"

He felt like all he did was complain anymore. "Everything's fine."

She looked up at him. "You were really excited this morning when you called me. And now you're definitely not. Is it work?"

He shook his head, rubbing his face. "No, not work." He rubbed her arm. "I guess I'm just realizing that this...thing with the kids could go on a while. And I just feel, I don't know..."

"Torn? Conflicted?" He shrugged. "I wouldn't blame you. But I think all you can do at this point is love them and keep reminding them that you love them. Don't give up on them, but let them come to you." She smiled. "And while you wait, you have us. _We_ love you."

He finally smiled. "I'm glad I have you. And Yoby and Ryleigh. I love y'all too." He rolled onto his side and gently ran his fingers up and down her arm. "You always know the right thing to say."

She laughed softly. "I wish I actually did." She rubbed his face with her hand. "I just hate seeing you so disappointed." She smiled. "I think, after they leave, maybe we could put together a picnic and drive outside of Nashville and just spend some time together, alone. The four of us."

He raised his eyebrows. "All of us? Even Ryleigh?"

She nodded. "Even Ryleigh. We can find a place that's secluded and shady. We can take a blanket and put it on the grass and let her get a little fresh air. We can just relax and not be around anybody, not worry about everything going on around us. What do you think?"

He smiled and then leaned in and kissed her. "I think you're the smartest woman I know. And I think that's a great idea." He kissed her again, then laid his body over hers. "I also think you're the sexiest woman I know," he murmured.

She smiled. "You're the sexiest man _I_ know." A second went by. "Ooh," she whispered, as he touched her. She arched her back slightly. "Oh," she whispered again. She looked up at him. "Oh, Chip," she moaned. She slid her arms around his neck.

"That feel good, baby?" he asked. She nodded. She was ready and he needed to be wrapped up in her. He entered her slowly and took his time loving her that night. His movements were rhythmic and steady. He kissed her, letting his lips linger over hers, then sliding his tongue in her mouth to meet hers. He put his hands on her waist and then let his fingers trail over her skin. He thought about when he first met her. She wasn't wearing makeup, her hair was trailing down over her shoulders in soft waves. She had freckles. He wasn't sure he'd known she had freckles before. She looked young and fresh and radiant. And incredibly, unbelievably sexy. He lifted his head, looking down at her. Her eyes were shining and focused on his. She had a soft little smile on her face. _Every time I think I couldn't love her more, I do._

Her eyes closed, she arched her back, and then her mouth opened slightly, little moans escaping her lips. He could feel her come, as he watched her face and listened to her incoherent little whispers. When she was done, he let go, spilling himself insider her, then lowering his lips to capture hers again. He leaned down and whispered, "I love you so much."

She let her fingers stroke the back of his neck and she whispered back, "I love you too."

* * *

It was the last day his mom and the kids would be in Nashville. They would all leave the next day. He wasn't working, so he'd stayed home with both Yoby and Ryleigh. Connie had woken up in an uncharacteristically bad mood. She'd been restless the night before as well, but she didn't really want to talk about it. She was subdued while she fed Ryleigh, then gave her a bath and got her dressed. She came downstairs to the kitchen. He frowned. "Where's Ryleigh?"

"Sleeping. I think her night was rough too." It was true. Ryleigh had cried much of the night, which also had led to the rough night. She hadn't seemed to want to settle down and they had both split time walking with her.

He nodded. "Hopefully she's happier when everyone gets here." He gently took her arm and turned her to face him. "You okay?"

She shrugged. "I guess."

"You sure?" he asked. She glared at him, but said nothing. "Uh, you want some coffee? Or tea? Something to eat?"

She walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. "Some tea would be nice," she said. "Maybe a piece of toast." She started flipping through a magazine she'd left on the table the day before.

When he brought her tea and toast, he sat down next to her. She took a sip of tea, but didn't pick up the toast. "What's going on, baby?" he asked.

She put her cup down on the table, a little harder than was necessary. She looked at him and he could see the irritation on her face. "Nothing, Chip," she said, her tone sharp. Then she returned her attention to the magazine.

He hesitated, then got up from the table and cleaned up. He looked over at her, but she was seemingly focused on the magazine, so he decided to go upstairs and get ready. When he walked into the bedroom, he looked into the bassinette. Ryleigh was wrapped up and her eyes were closed. Her breathing was shallow and even. He couldn't help but smile. He reached down and ran the back of his finger gently against her cheek. She didn't move. He sighed, hoping things wouldn't always be this tense.

**Connie**

She just flipped the pages of the magazine, not focusing on them at all. This was the last day Chip's mom and his kids would be in Nashville. She hated to admit it, but she was happy to see them go. Not Chip's mom – she'd been kind and caring – but the kids had made her feel like a pariah. She tried to be honest with herself about it, her part in breaking up their family, but she also didn't like being pushed aside. She was having a tough time navigating all the different feelings she had. She wanted to support Chip and be there for him, but she also didn't like having to leave her own home and leave her daughter so that the kids didn't have to deal with her. On the one hand, she understood why they would not want to interact with her, but on the other she didn't want to just let herself be walked over.

By the time Chip came back downstairs, she was feeling out of sorts. He came and leaned towards her, kissing her cheek. She didn't react. He sat down next to her. "Sweetie," he started. She looked at him.

"Don't," she said, holding up her hand as though she were holding him at bay. "I know this isn't completely your fault, but I'm really not okay with having to hide away so your kids can try to love our daughter."

He frowned slightly. "It's _not_ my fault. I've tried..."

"But you're letting them do this. I know it's hard and I know it's painful for them. But Ryleigh is my daughter. _Our_ daughter. And that's not going to change. And she's tiny right now. She needs me. It's not that you can't handle her, but this is when babies need their mamas. And I have to leave her." She could feel tears in her eyes and hated it. "More than anything, I want you to be able to mend your relationship with them, but I feel left out. And I also feel terrible for wanting something I can't have. And for feeling these things." She got up then, went into the kitchen, and picked up her purse and keys. Chip followed her.

"I don't want you to feel like this, baby," he said.

She looked at him. "I don't either. And I don't like feeling this way. I _shouldn't_ be feeling this way. I can't take the moral high ground on this and I know that. But I can't help feeling, I don't know. Angry isn't really the word for it. Maybe sad and disappointed." She put her hand on his arm. "I'm going to go now. I need to get some perspective."

He frowned. "Connie..."

She shook her head. "They'll be gone tomorrow. You need to make the most of your time with them." She forced herself to smile. "I'll see you later." She started to walk out, but he gently took her arm to stop her. She looked up and hated seeing the sadness in his eyes. He brushed his lips across hers. She patted his chest and then walked out the back door.

**Chip**

He almost felt like he was sleepwalking, as though he were watching everything from outside himself. When he heard Ryleigh crying, he took a bottle from the fridge and warmed it, then headed upstairs. He sent Yoby to his room, to put on the clothes Connie had left on his bed. Yoby was at that stage where he wanted to do things himself, so she would put his clothes out for him so at least he would look put together. He headed for the bedroom to get Ryleigh. Her face was screwed up, red from her tears. He picked her up and tried soothing her, loosening the blanket wrapped around her and taking her into the nursery. He settled into the chair and put the bottle to her lips. She took it hungrily and he just watched her, doing all of it as though he were looking through a gauzy film. Connie had spent all her time supporting him, even when that meant she had to leave. This was hard on her too and he wanted to figure out how to make it right for her. He needed to do that for her.

It wasn't long after he'd gotten Ryleigh changed into a clean diaper and clothes that his mom arrived with the kids. They all took over with Yoby and the baby and he walked out onto the back deck. The air around him seemed unsettled. He had a feeling of being all alone and he didn't like it. Connie had been upset, but also eerily calm, almost disconnected. He didn't like that either. She'd been such a rock, but this was getting to her too.

The door opened behind him and he turned to see his mom. She closed the door and walked out to stand next to him. "Are you okay?" she asked.

He looked at her, then shook his head. "No, I'm not," he said. He looked back out over the backyard, filled with trees. It was a heavily wooded neighborhood and in the warmer months, when the trees had grown leaves, it felt private and secluded. The trees formed a sort of canopy around the house that kept a lot of the noise out. Then flowering plants sent up their fragrant smells into the air and it felt peaceful, even though inside he felt anything but. He looked back at her and waved his arm towards the back door. "I appreciate that they have all seem to have taken to Yoby and Ryleigh. But they're still shutting me out and worse, they're shutting Connie out too." He sighed. "She left earlier today and she was not in a good place."

"Chip, you knew not to expect everything to repair itself overnight. The kids are enchanted with Yoby and Ryleigh and I think that if you had been realistic, you would understand that's probably the best that was going to happen this week. You can't push."

He frowned. "I haven't been pushing," he said stubbornly.

"Actually you have. You've had expectations that weren't grounded in reality and they're aware of it." She sighed. "I know they all still love you. Deep down, you're Dad. Other than this one thing, you're the same dad they've always had, and I think that's what's been tough for them."

"Are you saying they're never gonna forgive me for this?"

She shook her head. "I'm not saying that. I don't think they'll never be able to make peace with it, but it's not going to happen over just a few days." She put a hand on his arm. "And as far as Connie goes? I think Taylor, since she's a little older and a little more mature, she's more willing to test the waters, but even for her, it's a tough place to go right now. I think she wants to understand, but I don't want you taking that and thinking it's all going to work out the way you want it to." She rubbed his arm. "I really like Connie. I'm old enough that I can get myself mostly past the way you upended our family. I know you love her. I can see that. She loves you. I can see that too. But I was angry at you too, in the beginning. I didn't understand how you could have done that, how you could have walked away from Patty like that."

"Mom, I..."

She waved her hand. "I know. You weren't happy. You've said that. But you were married, Chip. Had a family. Were committed to that family, I thought." He turned away. "You came here, without your family, and you had an affair, and then the thing you probably never thought about, never even considered would happen, did. She's pregnant. You feel obligation, because that's who you are. You wanted to be there for her. And maybe if all that had happened but you went back to your family, I don't know, it would have been hard but it wouldn't have been like you picked a side."

His heart felt heavy. He understood what it looked like from the outside. He had known there would be consequences for his choices. But he loved Connie. And now, not only were his children hurting, but Connie was too. All for the choices he'd made. He looked back at his mom. "It's the only choice I could make," he said.

She gave him a sad smile and then nodded. "Just be patient," she said. She turned then and walked back into the house.

* * *

It was mid-afternoon when they left. They would be flying out early the next morning, including his mom. He hugged each one of them, holding on tight. No matter how hard the visit had been, he loved them. He desperately wanted to rebuild his relationship with them, but he understood he needed to be patient. It wouldn't be easy, but he would sure try. "I'm glad y'all came," he said, tears in his eyes. "I'm glad you had a chance to spend some time with Ryleigh and I hope you'll come back again." He rubbed his face. "I love each one of you, I hope you know that. I know you're disappointed in me and I'm sorry. I still love you though and I'm still your dad. I'll always be your dad." His voice trailed off.

Taylor walked up to him and hugged him again. "I love you, Dad," she said, her voice muffled as she leaned against him. He held her close, then kissed her forehead. Chase gave him a bear hug. Finally it was just Addie. He looked at her and she had tears running down her face. Her face wasn't pinched with anger, but she still held back.

She looked like maybe she wanted to say something, do something, but in the end she just took a deep breath and said, "Bye, Dad." And then they were gone.

He stood in the foyer, tears rolling down his face. _Please don't let me lose them. Give us a chance._ Then he heard Ryleigh start to cry and he jogged up the stairs. He walked up to her bassinette and she fixed her eyes on him, still crying. He leaned over and unwrapped the blanket, then picked her up, holding her close against his chest. He shushed her softly and rubbed her back. "Daddy loves you, sweet girl," he whispered, his cheek against her head. "I'll always love you. Please remember that."


	23. Chapter 23

**Connie**

She needed to get her mind right. It was the last day Chip's mom and kids would be in Nashville and then her life could go back to normal. Well, normal until she had to go back to work. But her daily routine would mostly be back to normal. She felt bad, on the one hand, for feeling like she did. Feeling anger, hurt, irritation. But on the other hand, she felt justified in her feelings. She wanted to be supportive of Chip as he navigated the distance from his kids, but she also wanted to tell them they needed to give him a break.

When she walked out of the house, she knew she'd been distant with Chip. And she felt bad about that too. Which was why she needed to get her mind right. She got in her car and opened the garage door, backing out into the driveway. She had so many conflicting thoughts rolling around in her head that she was almost to the highway when she realized where she was. She took a deep breath and re-centered, focusing on the road ahead.

* * *

When she arrived at the production stages for the show, she drove around to a trailer in the back and parked. She sat in the car for a moment, just looking at it, then opened the door and got out. She walked up to the steps and looked up at the trailer door. It felt like it had been such a long time since she'd been here, even though it hadn't been but a little over 4 months.

"Hey there!" She turned at the voice and then smiled as Judith jogged towards her. When she came up beside her, they hugged warmly.

"Hey," she said. "I'm so glad to see you."

Judith looked around and then made a sad face. "I was hoping you were going to bring your little bug with you," she said.

She shook her head. "Today's the last day Chip's mom and his kids are here, so she and Yoby both are hanging out with them." She grinned. "I've got more pictures though."

Judith took her arm. "Well, let's go in so you can show me."

They headed up the steps and she unlocked the door to her trailer. She stepped in and looked around. It was hard to believe she would be back here in a little less than a week. So much had changed since the last time she'd been there. She turned to look at Judith. "It seems so unfamiliar, you know? So much has happened since the last time I walked out of here. My whole life feels different."

Judith smiled. "Well, it _is_. You had a baby. That by itself is a big change. And then with her being in the NICU – I know that was stressful. Your world is different." They sat on the bench facing each other. "You said Chip's mom and kids were here. How's that going?"

She sighed. "Well, his mom has been very sweet. I know this whole situation has affected everyone in Chip's family but she has been gracious and welcoming. She had some time to adjust to it though, so I guess that helped. And his sister too. They've been honest, don't get me wrong, but they've been more accepting. His kids are another matter, understandably." She unexpectedly felt tears well up and she took a deep breath. "I've had to change my schedule so that they can see Ryleigh without me being around. Which has been tough, you know?" She tried to smile but the tears weren't allowing it, so she stopped talking, looking out the window of the trailer.

Judith reached for her hand. "I'm so sorry. I know it's got to be hard to leave your newborn like that." She nodded, still looking out the window. "What's Chip's feeling about all of it?"

She took a deep breath and looked back at Judith. "Well, as you can imagine, he's pulled both ways. I want to be mad at him for how this is going, but I know he doesn't really like it either. I'm just trying to be supportive for his sake."

Judith smiled. "I haven't seen him around much, but I know some others have talked to him and he's just so proud of your little baby."

She smiled back. "He's been really good with her. Right at the beginning, poor guy, I'm sure he thought he had _2_ babies, and I was the more troublesome one of the two." She laughed. "To his credit, he mostly didn't take the bait."

Judith looked thoughtful. "How has that all been?" she asked, choosing her words carefully. "I mean, being together offscreen as well as on plus having a baby together?"

Other than her closest friends, she would not have discussed that with anyone, but she and Judith had become close the first season, partly because their characters were sisters, but also because she genuinely liked her co-star. They were close in age and the joke between them had always been that, while Judith played Rayna's older sister, she actually was the younger of the two. She smiled softly. "You know, it's been tricky. For all the obvious reasons. But behind closed doors, when it's just the two of us, it's been great." She could see Judith's sly smile and she held up her index finger. "And I mean just how the two of us connect."

Judith laughed. "Oh, I knew what you meant," she said. "But I'm also sure you meant the other too." Her expression softened. "I know it had to be difficult sometimes. I would never have known you were pregnant, though."

"I was...lucky? I guess. I didn't have a real bump until literally 2 days after we finished. And then it was like there was no way to hide it."

Judith reached for her hand. "And how does it feel, coming back to work? With everything being so different?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, first of all, I really want to just spend time with my baby. I haven't had her home long. A NICU isn't really conducive to developing that bonded relationship, so I guess I'm glad she wasn't there long. Although it felt like forever, if I'm honest. Plus this last week or so, I feel like I've lost time with her." She sighed. "Chip says that some people have said things to him here about the relationship. Most have been positive, at least the way he tells it." She smiled. "He always tends to look on the bright side though, so who really knows? I'm nervous, truthfully. Everyone except Maisy and Lennon are adults. They think of it as some great fairytale love story, but adults look at this kind of thing from a different perspective."

Judith looked encouraging. "I don't think you need to worry much. I mean, you're right, Chip is the eternal optimist." She smiled. "I think that lets people be happy for the two of you, even in these circumstances. There's always things in private that no one else knows about." She reached out and patted her knee. "So I need to see these newest pictures of your baby girl," she said brightly, with a happy smile on her face.

She reached down into her purse and pulled out her phone, smiling as she opened the pictures app. There was nothing she enjoyed more than showing off her tiny bundle of joy.

* * *

She stood in front of the mirror looking at the skirt and blouse combination. She turned one way then the other. Then she looked at her wardrobe stylist. "What year is this supposed to be again?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe 1991 or 92? Early 90's definitely."

She frowned. "Well, to be fair, I can't remember how short skirts were back then, but Rayna wore one in the first season that barely covered her ass."

The stylist smiled. "You were the one who was worried about things being too tight."

That was true. The first blouse they'd tried was tight across her breasts, which were practically falling out of the sleeveless shell as well. This was more of a button down kind of thing that had some give to it and covered her up. The skirt was short, a few inches above the knee, but was full and loose around her. She ran her hand down over her abdomen as she looked at her profile in the mirror. There was only a slight tummy swell now, one that Chip told her she was more self-conscious about than she needed to be. "I guess you're right," she said. She smiled into the mirror. "This definitely covers everything."

"I think you're worrying for nothing."

"Well, maybe, but I don't want to look like I just had a baby." She laughed. "In my real life I don't care. Huge boobs and a little tummy are something I'd live with all day, if I didn't have to worry about the fact that my character wasn't pregnant and shouldn't look that way." She held a finger up. "And there's always Spanx." She laughed. She ran her hand over her abdomen again. "So where did you find all this old stuff?"

"Vintage clothing stores. There's some surprisingly good stuff out there, in really good condition. I felt fortunate."

She turned to face the mirror full on. "I'm impressed." She looked back at the stylist. "I like everything you found. I sort of forget sometimes that although Rayna came from privilege, she probably abandoned it during that time of her life." She turned her back on the mirror. "This looks good. Thanks for letting me try it on one last time."

"Glad you had the time to stop by. I'll let you get dressed. We'll see you in a week or so."

She watched the stylist walk out, thinking about how good she was at her job. She remembered how nervous she'd been in the finale of the first season about the fitted leather pants and the bustier she wore during a performance scene.

"_I can't wear that," she had wailed to Chip. "Even with Spanx, it's so uncomfortable. And I'm worried about crushing the baby."_

"_You're not crushing the baby. You hardly have a bump anyway."_

_She still worried. "And what about this?" She spread her hands around her boobs. "I look like I'm going to fall out. I'm not sure I can breathe, let alone pretend to sing, without them popping out where everyone can see I'm a size larger already."_

_He'd given her a cheeky smile, letting one finger trail over the top of her left breast. "I like 'em," he said. "After the scene, I'm happy for you to pop 'em out for me."_

_She frowned. "Chip," she said in a warning tone._

_He held his hands up and grinned. "I know, I know," he said, with a chuckle. He stepped towards her and kissed her on the cheek. "But you do look very sexy, baby."_

This outfit didn't look really sexy though. It was wholesome. A sleeveless button-down white blouse paired with a skirt that had huge flowers on it. Not something she'd ever wear, but it was probably very Rayna, back in those days. Whenever she thought about Rayna, she pictured someone who had come from high society but worked hard to be just a regular girl. Someone who wouldn't stand out. Except she wanted to be an artist, a country music artist, which would ultimately mean rhinestones and diamonds and denim. That would make her stand out, so in her real life, with the love of her life, she didn't have to put on airs or be pretentious. She could be who she saw herself as, just like everyone else. Normal. Because the life she'd led before she was 16 was anything but.

She turned back to the mirror and stood there, her hands on her hips, looking at herself in the mirror. _The only thing not right about this is that I shouldn't be playing someone in her very early 20's. there's just no way I pull that off. Or that Chip pulls it off either._ She sighed. There was nothing she could do about it, so she hoped that they could make it work.

She heard her phone buzzing and she walked over to her purse. She reached in and her hand closed around the phone. It was Chip. "Hey there," she said with a smile.

"Hey, baby. You coming home?" She heard Ryleigh fussing in the background then.

"Is she okay?" she asked with a frown.

"Too much stimulation, I think," he said. "I know she'd like to see her mama though." He paused. "So would I."

She smiled then. "Well, let me change and I'll be there as soon as I can." She disconnected and then walked over to the dressing room to change back into her own clothes.

**Chip**

He walked through the house, with Ryleigh on his shoulder, trying to settle her down. She had been fed and changed, but she was still fussy. She didn't want to go into the bassinette so he thought walking with her would help. She squirmed in his arms. He felt her forehead, but she wasn't feverish. He was pretty sure all the handing back and forth of her between his mom and his kids had gotten her hyped up. When Connie still wasn't home nearly an hour after they had left, he had called. She was on her way and he was certain she would be exactly what Ryleigh needed.

"Your mama's gonna be home soon," he whispered to her. As he walked, he thought about what was next in trying to bridge the divide with his kids. He really wasn't the patient sort and he had felt the anxiety and irritation of trying to win them over. It felt like a struggle and he wasn't sure he was getting anywhere, but he didn't know what to do that would help. He knew the reality of this was getting to Connie too. Although she hadn't said a whole lot about it, he knew she didn't like not being around when the kids had been at the house. That was something he'd need to figure out for the next time.

He heard the door from the garage open and he headed back for the kitchen. When she came up the stairs, he could see that she looked more relaxed, not as tense and distant as she had when she left. She smiled when she saw them. She walked up to him and, putting her hand on his arm, leaned in for a kiss. "Hey," she said. "I'm sorry. I guess I lost track of time." Ryleigh turned her head and Connie made a sad face. "Hey there, sweet girl. Daddy said you missed your mama?" She reached out for the baby and he handed her over. She rubbed Ryleigh's back and she made a little breathy noise. Connie looked up at him, a surprised look on her face. "Has she done that before?" He shook his head. She looked back down at Ryleigh. "You want to say something to Mama?" she asked, a smile on her face. Ryleigh reached out and grabbed at her nose and she laughed. Which made him feel better.

He smiled. "I told you she needed you," he said, with a laugh.

"Well, she's been held and cuddled and talked to by a lot of different people in the past couple weeks. That's a lot for a six week old, I think. So no wonder she was fussy. And why she hasn't been sleeping as well. Now that she's back with just us, I think she'll go back to being our perfect baby." She smiled at him. There was a sparkle in her eyes that hadn't been there for the last several days and he was glad to see it back. "Where's Yoby?"

"Taking a nap. I think he's been a little overstimulated too."

She pointed towards the couch. "Let's sit for a minute." They walked to the couch and settled in. she rearranged Ryleigh in her arms. He sat close, putting his arm around her. She smiled. "I know it's been a tough several days. I know you have to work tomorrow, but we should plan to just have a lowkey weekend."

He kissed her forehead. "I like the sound of that."

"I think we should also just have a quiet night tonight, don't you? No talking, no thinking about anything except this little family" – she leaned her head against his shoulder – "and each other." He really _did_ like the sound of that.

* * *

He was sitting in the bed, reviewing his scenes for the next day when she came in the bedroom. He looked up. "He okay?" he asked. She walked over and peeked into the bassinette first, then turned towards the bed.

She nodded. "Just a little wired. I read him a story and he finally fell asleep." She climbed into bed on her side and slid over to sit closer to him. He put his script and glasses on the bedside table. She smiled. "I like you in your glasses," she said.

He raised his eyebrows. "You do?" She nodded. "Well, I like you in yours too."

She leaned back against the pillows and stretched her legs out, then turned to look at him. "it feels like it's been a long time since we've just had a nice, quiet evening without anything else going on." She reached for his hand and he closed it around hers. "Kids are asleep, it's quiet in the house." She rested her head against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, baby," he started. She turned and put a finger over his mouth, shaking her head.

"We're not going to go there right now," she said. "I just want to enjoy this time with you, without anything getting in the middle of it." She smiled. "Okay?"

He nodded, then turned towards her, putting his arm around her waist and kissing her. "It's more than okay," he murmured against her lips. He kissed her again, then sat back, just looking at her. In some ways nothing about their relationship had been easy. They were coworkers. He was married. She was well-respected. No one really knew him. She was a star and he...was benefitting from being in her orbit. He'd watched her in Friday Night Lights, before that in Spin City, and since, in American Horror Story. He'd always been a little bit in love with her. She wasn't her characters, but her essence had always seemed to inhabit each one of them. Getting Nashville had been the fulfillment of a dream, and the thought of working alongside her had intimidated him at first. But the minute he'd sat down next to her at that very first table read, he had known their relationship would be different. He'd been sexually attracted to her from the beginning. But it was more than that. It had felt like he'd found his home, something he'd thought he already had but realized in an instant had never been true. They had fit together, right from the start. _That_ part was easy.

She reached over and put her hand on his face, letting it drift down to his chest. "Penny for your thoughts?" she said, with a tiny smile.

He smiled back. "Just thinking about you," he said.

"Me? What about me?" Her smile was teasing now.

He let his head fall back for a second, then looked back at her with a grin. "Just how lucky I was to find you." It was true. Once they had both acknowledged their feelings for each other, it had been such an overwhelming force that had drawn them inevitably together. The fact that she'd given _him_ a child – that he had given _her_ a child – had seemed fated. Mystical. He leaned in and brushed her lips with his. That she had been willing to face the difficult side of their relationship with him had made the amazing side so much more amazing. "And the fact that we're doing all this together."

"That part's been easy," she said, as though she had read his mind. "And right now, that's the only part that matters." She was smiling, but he knew she was saying this was not the time for heavy thoughts and conversations.

It was times like this, when they were stripped down to just being two people in love, when he felt like all things were possible. This was his Connie. The woman looking back at him was his heart and soul. They were just two people, in love. There were no complications, nothing that weighed on them. "I love you," he said.

She smiled and laughed just a little. "I love you too." She suddenly moved to straddle his lap. She put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him gently, pulling back to look deeply in his eyes. She leaned over then and turned out the light next to his side of the bed, and the room was dark, except for the soft glow coming from Ryleigh's night light. She reached for the bottom edge of her t-shirt, pulling it up and over her head, tossing it on the floor. She unhooked her bra, sliding it off and letting it land where the t-shirt had.

He was mesmerized as he watched her. She was sometimes a little self-conscious about how her breasts had changed during the time she was pregnant and now, while she was breastfeeding Ryleigh, but he thought she looked magnificent, even more beautiful than she already was. She drew in a quick breath and he knew she could feel how aroused he was. He reached out and cupped her breasts in his hands, feeling the heaviness and fullness. She breathed in deeply, her lips slightly parted. Her amazing hair lay around her shoulders, framing her chest with its lushness that just made her even more alluring. Her skin felt warm and supple and he sucked in his own breath. She was stunning, this woman who had risked everything for him, carried his child inside her, who had taken him into her bed and her life and wrapped herself around him, holding him close. He moved his hands to her waist, pulling her slightly towards him so she could truly feel how much he loved her, how much he wanted her. She shivered slightly and a little breathy moan escaped her lips.

She looked at him then, bit down a little on her bottom lip, breathing in deeply. She moved her hands to grab onto the bottom of his shirt and he let her pull it up and off. She tossed it to the side. Then she paused. "I don't want to get up," she said.

He smiled. "I think you have to," he said. With a sigh, she got up and off the bed, shedding her shorts and underwear. He quickly did the same. She got back on the bed, straddling him again and then sank back down on him, taking him inside her as she did. Her hands were on his shoulders and her eyes fluttered closed for a moment as she adjusted herself. Then she moved slightly so she could cross her legs behind him and he used his to create a place where she could perch. She moved her hands up to his face and pressed her lips to his and it was his turn to moan. She was all fitted around him snugly, her breasts were brushing enticingly against his chest, and he took a moment to just appreciate how she felt. He put his hands on her bottom so he could control the angle, as he started to move inside her. Their eyes were locked on each other as they moved in sync with each other.

"Oh, Chip," she murmured, as he pulled her closer. He put his hand on the back of her neck and started to kiss her. She was making little moans in her throat, their tongues battling each other. The kiss grew deeper and more intense. The rhythm of their lovemaking increased and he felt her fingers threading themselves through the hair on the back of his head. He could tell she was right on the edge. He slid one hand between them and touched her. She started to pull her lips from his, but he pressed against the back of her neck so she couldn't move. Suddenly he felt her clamp down on him and he felt her moans in his mouth. That was when he let himself go, emptying himself inside her. When the spasms finally ceased, he felt his body relax, and he pulled his lips from hers.

"Wow," he said. She laughed softly, pressing her lips against his. Then she tucked her face into his neck as she worked to catch her breath.

When she finally moved away from him, they both slid under the sheets. He wrapped his arms around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. She fell asleep almost immediately and he wasn't far behind her.

**Connie**

Ryleigh's cries startled her awake. She pushed herself up, Chip stirring beneath her. She realized then she was naked. "Chip," she whispered sleepily. "Where are my clothes?"

"Um, I think over here?" His arm landed with a thump on his side of the bed.

She crawled over him and then got out of bed, feeling around on the floor. She found some shorts and pulled them on, then groaned, realizing they were his. She fumbled around a little more and then found her own, slipping them on. She hesitated, not sure whether to try to find a shirt to wear. Ryleigh's cries wee getting louder and she decided to just bring her into bed with them. She went to the bassinette and picked up her daughter, carrying her to the bed. She held Ryleigh tight as she got onto the bed and leaned back against the headboard. She positioned Ryleigh so she could take her nipple, which she did quickly. She breathed out, feeling a sense of relief. "Chip?" she said.

"Hmm?" he mumbled, sounding like he was still asleep.

"Can you get me a little towel?"

"A what, baby?" he murmured, sounding almost like he was drunk. He sat up then. He looked at her, blinking his eyes.

"A towel," she repeated. He still didn't move, as though he was unable to understand what she'd said. "Chip?"

"Oh, a towel. Right. Okay," he said, then jumped out of bed. As he headed towards the bathroom, she admired his ass in the dim light. She could still feel his hands on her skin and she felt a tingling sensation between her legs. He came back to the bed with a towel in his hands. She patted her shoulder. "Right here, babe."

He shook his head. "I can take her when you're done," he said.

She smiled. "Thanks, babe. You're a good dad." He smiled back at her and she watched as he reached down on the floor and grabbed her t-shirt and his shorts. He laid the t-shirt on the bed and she grabbed it while he got dressed. Then he got into bed and slid over next to her. She looked up at him and he kissed her.

He cleared his throat. "So you didn't really say much about going over to the set," he said.

"Oh, yeah, well, I got to try on the 90s stuff they got for me to wear in the flashback scenes." She laughed a little. "And Christy showed me some drawings of the hairstyles. I mean, I really don't think I can pull off being in my 20's but we'll give it a shot."

He grinned. "You and me both. I heard they'll do some kind of hazy black and white shit that's supposed to kind of smooth out all the age lines" – he paused – "on _me_ anyway, 'cause you sure don't have any."

She laughed. "Oh, you're so sweet, babe, but we both know that's not true. I guess we'll just have to see how that goes then, won't we?" He nodded. "I got to spend some time with Judith too. We got to catch up and then I got to show her the one or two pictures of Ryleigh you hadn't already circulated."

He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "So I like to show her off." He grinned. "Busted."

She looked down at Ryleigh, then back at him. "She's worth showing off, I think," she said. She suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion. She knew some of it was the reality of returning to work and not having this concentrated time with her baby, but it was also just the idea of her being in the world. She felt the tears. "Thank you...for her," she said, hearing that emotion in her voice.

He kissed her forehead. "No, thank _you_," he said.

She looked back at Ryleigh. _This is what matters. This little girl. And her father._ She breathed in deeply, as she watched Ryleigh let go and smack her tiny lips together, indicating she was done. She smiled at her baby, her heart full of love for her. Then she turned towards him. "I think she's ready for you," she said, smiling as she watched him take her and lay her on his shoulder. As he rubbed Ryleigh's back, she reached for her t-shirt and pulled it on. Then she turned back and, putting her hand on his arm, watched Chip with Ryleigh. She never got tired of watching them together.

* * *

After he had changed Ryleigh and put her down, he got back in bed and took her in his arms, where she settled happily. "Are you still worried about going back to work?" he asked.

She thought about that. "It's not really being worried. I've just been feeling ambivalent," she said. "I don't know how long we'll be on. We could be cancelled at the end of this season or we could go on for ten more years. I think for me it's telling good stories. The kind of stories we were doing when we started. But my life has changed too. I have two children now. I spent most of the time I've had Yoby working. Long hours and not enough time to really spend being his mom. And now I'm going to do the same thing with Ryleigh. And I know I'm fortunate enough to be able to bring them to work with me, but I worry it's not enough." She sighed. "I have a life that makes me happy and I'm doing things that mean something to me and I want to raise good people. I'm just wondering if I can do it all."

"You have me to help," he said quietly.

"I know," she said. He ran his hand over her head in a gesture she always found comforting and reaffirming. She turned her head to look at him. "I'm lucky." She smiled. "We should probably try to get some sleep before she wakes up again." He looked thoughtful. "What?"

He breathed in deeply. "I was just thinking, maybe it's time to move her into the nursery." She frowned. "I know. You like having her close. She'd still be close though and we'd have the baby monitor on. But I don't feel like you sleep as well as you could, because she's right there. And with you going back to work..."

She heard his thought trail off. She considered it. Ryleigh was 6 ½ weeks old, almost at the point of her original due date. She was doing well and Chip was right, she was still close, the nursery actually being a little closer to their room than Yoby's was. She was also tired. "Let's talk about it tomorrow," she said. he held her a little closer and she felt like they'd be able to work it out the next day, so she closed her eyes.

**Chip**

She was standing at the counter, looking a little distracted. "You okay, baby?" he asked. She looked at him for a second, then smiled and shook her head.

"Sorry. I think my mind drifted there for a minute." She walked over to him and put her arms around his waist, leaning her head on his chest. "I know I had this big idea of a picnic out in the country, but I think maybe I lost my head for a minute."

He chuckled. "Well, I thought you had at the time, but I was willing to let you try."

She pulled back from him and laughed. "Yeah, what was I thinking? Anyway, I think we can sort of still do that, but just do it here. Maybe in the back yard or the deck. Or both. It'll be easier." She rose up on her toes and kissed him. "Plus it would be easier to fool around when the kids are taking naps."

He grinned. "Now _that's_ a smart idea."

* * *

Both Yoby and Ryleigh were taking naps. Ryleigh was in the nursery. He and Connie were tangled up in the sheets and each other. Her head was on his chest and her fingers were rubbing his chest. They had been lying there quietly for a while and then she broke the silence. "Do you want to talk about this week?" she asked.

He sighed. "I know it wasn't fair to you," he said. "I'm sorry about that."

She didn't say anything at first. "That wasn't really what I meant," she said. She pushed up, propping herself up with her arm. "I think you should figure out a way to be more present for your kids."

He frowned. "How do I do that?"

"I think you should make some time to go out to LA on a regular basis. It would be hard for them to come here. So if you went there, you'd have quality time with them, and they would have your full attention."

"I don't know. What about you? And the kids?"

"We'd be here. This is just for you and them. Maybe spending more time together would help." She paused. "I think it's important for you to show them you're still their dad and you still want a relationship with them. They get all your time, no other distractions."

He thought about that. The idea of leaving Connie alone with the kids concerned him, even though he knew she was capable of handling that. But he did have to admit that it made sense. If he could be there for important things, show them he still loved them, and wanted to be part of their lives, maybe it would help. "You could be right," he said.

"I think you should at least try it," she said. "They need to see you, be close to you, know how much you love them. And do it in a way that makes _them_ feel comfortable."

"I don't want to leave you though," he said.

She smiled. "I'm a big girl. I've been on my own for quite a while, before I met you. You don't have to worry about me."

He frowned. "But I _do_ though. Ryleigh's still a newborn and Yoby's not even 3. I don't know if it's a good idea."

"Chip, it'll be fine. I'm not talking about you being gone for a month or something, just a long weekend. And you forget, we have the nanny. If it gets crazy, I've got back up. And I have friends." She grinned and ran her fingers over his chest. "Do you want me to just make the reservation for you?"

She made a compelling argument. She was also just some damn beautiful and persuasive. He let a smile play around his lips and then he let it grow. "Okay," he said, then leaned in and kissed her. "You've convinced me."

She laughed. "Good. I want you to be able to fix things." Then her face turned serious. "I don't think you'll ever really be happy if you can't. It would always be a hole in your heart."

_God, she is so unselfish._ He knew it had been painful for them to have pushed her away and he was mad at himself for letting them do it. Yet here she was, coming up with an idea to help him. He put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her towards him, kissing her gently on the lips, letting the kiss grow deeper. When he finally let her go, he looked deep into her eyes. "I love you, baby. I don't think you even know how much."

She gave him a tiny smile. "I think I do," she said. "The same way I love _you_." She slid down and settled in, her head on his shoulder, her arm draped across his abdomen. "Oh, and by the way, I already made a reservation for you in 3 weeks."

He couldn't help but laugh. _Damn, she's sneaky._

**Connie**

She woke with a start. She didn't know what caused her to wake up, but she was definitely wide awake. The room was dark and she peered at the clock by her bed. It was a little past 2:30. She made a frustrated noise and rolled over, but Chip wasn't in bed.

"Chip?" she called out softly, wondering if he might have been in the bathroom. Nothing. Then she noticed the bedroom door was slightly open. She got out of bed and slipped on her glasses. As she stepped into the hallway, she saw that Ryleigh's door was open. It was the third night she was sleeping in the nursery. She approached quietly and, as she got closer to the open door, she could see Chip standing at their daughter's crib. He was resting his arms on the crib rail, bent over slightly. The night light gave off a soft light yellow glow.

She walked in the room and went to stand next to him, running her hand up and down his back. He turned to look at her and smiled, putting his arm around her and pulling her close. "I love watching her sleep," he said, his voice quiet.

She looked down at their baby. Ryleigh still looked so tiny, swaddled in a blanket. She was almost seven weeks old and she was strong and healthy and growing. She looked back at Chip and smiled. "I do too," she whispered. She reached over the crib rail and gently ran her finger over the silky soft skin on Ryleigh's face. She twitched just a little, but didn't wake up. "Did you just decide to come and watch her?" she asked.

He shook his head. "She was fussing a little, so I just decided to let you sleep. I sat with her for a bit and she fell right back asleep."

She frowned. "I didn't wake up?" She knew that was a silly question, because obviously she had _not_ woken up.

He put his hand on the back of her head and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead. "You must have really needed the sleep. I didn't mind."

It really wasn't that she was upset or anything, but for a moment it made her feel like she was a bad mom or something, not being aware enough to wake up when her baby cried. "Still. You should have woken me up."

"There's been a lot going on, Connie." His voice was stern. "I can help. I'm perfectly capable of getting up in the middle of the night with her."

She opened her mouth to say something, but then shut it. He had been the best partner she could have asked for. He was always willing to take Ryleigh and feed her or change her diaper or just hold her. He would straighten up around the house and keep Yoby occupied. She had fallen even more in love with him, just watching him with her children. She rubbed the back of his arm and smiled. "Thank you, babe. I appreciate that. You're always looking after me." She winked at him, to let him know she wasn't upset.

He pulled her into an embrace. "I promise next time I'll wake you up." She looked up at him and he leaned down to kiss her. They both looked back at their daughter.

She sighed. "It's hard to believe she's only been home for 3 ½ weeks, isn't it?" He nodded and smiled. "It seems like such a long time ago that she was in the hospital." She bit down on her lip. "I just feel like it's been such a gift, having her here." She looked up at him. "I feel so protective of her. The world she was born into is complicated, but she's not. She's just a tiny baby who's so very loved and all she needs is us."

"And we're here for her." He turned towards her. "We're gonna get through all this and make it all work." He reached out and brushed away a tear with his thumb she hadn't realized was tracking down her cheek. "You're a good mama, Connie. She's lucky. She and Yoby both."

She smiled. "And you're a good dad. Don't ever think you're not."

He reached for her and pulled her to him. She let her hands trail up his back as he cupped the back of her neck, letting his fingers get tangled in her hair. He leaned down and kissed her, letting the kiss linger a bit. Finally he sighed. "We should both get back to bed," he said, a little wistfully, she thought.

She nodded. "I know." She smiled. "Ryleigh has her 6 week check up tomorrow." She took his hand and squeezed it. "I wish you could come with us."

He put his arm around her and then led her back to their bedroom. They crawled into bed and he put his arms around her. "There'll be other appointments." He kissed her forehead. He sighed. "You'll be back at work next week. How do you feel about that?"

She considered that. "Nervous. But a little excited too. When I went over and saw Judith, I realized I was kind of missing it. And the people. And being on set with you again."

He rubbed her arm. "Me too." He kissed her again. "Let's go back to sleep, baby. The alarm's gonna go off way too soon."

She laughed softly, then curled up into him, closing her eyes. As she thought about how much she loved being in his arms, she drifted back to sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

_**A/N: Sorry it took a little longer this time to get the next chapter out. Work has been extra hectic, with all the stuff going on due to COVID, and I've had less time to write. I haven't given up on the story, though. Hope you like this next chapter.**_

**Chip**

The alarm went off. He shut it off right away. It wasn't that loud, but he'd gotten in the habit of shutting it off quickly, so it didn't disturb Ryleigh. Connie snuggled in closer making little noises as she did. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Wake up, baby," he whispered softly. "It's the first day of school."

"Huh," she said, a light tone to her voice. Then she wrapped her arm around him and sighed. "I don't wanna go, Chip," she said in a whiny voice.

He chuckled a little. "Sweetie, you have to."

She raised up on her elbow and looked down at him. "I want to stay home with Yoby and Ryleigh. Maybe they can just use a body double and then at the end Rayna can die and I don't have to go to work at all."

He laughed then. "I don't think that's gonna work. If that were to happen, they might as well cancel us now. We'd be nothing without you."

"That's not true. There's Hayden." She smiled. "And _you_. I've always thought they'd kill Rayna off before they killed off Deacon."

He chuckled. "I'm not sure that's true." He ran his fingers up and down her arm. "Yoby and Ryleigh will be going in with you. They'll be there every day you are. You can see them whenever you want."

She sighed deeply. "I know. But I'm just not ready. I mean, I should just now be having a baby, but instead I'm going back to work." She rolled over on her back. "I know I'm being a baby but..." her voice trailed off a little. "I just _had_ a baby," she whispered, sounding choked up.

He rolled towards her, lifting up and balancing himself with his hand on her other side. She looked into his eyes and he saw the sadness there. "I'll be there too, sweetie." They were filming the flashback scenes that day. The only other person filming with them was Judith. They would also be filming at the river house they'd found, which would double as Deacon's cabin. When he'd shown the picture of it to Connie, they had laughed.

"_Are you serious?" she said, laughing. "That is __not__ what I thought a cabin would look like."_

"_No kidding," he said, laughing as well. "I pictured some kind of old one room shack kind of place. Or maybe a log cabin. This is seriously not a cabin."_

_She gave him a wicked grin. "Who knew Deacon was making such good money to be able to afford that, right? I'm guessing it's the perks of sleeping with the boss."_

She sighed. "I know." She reached up and put her hand on his chest. "I'm sure it'll be fine, but, you know, nothing's really been normal since she was born. I wish I'd had more time to settle in with her, establish a routine, connect with her."

He bent down and kissed her. "She loves you, baby. She follows you with her eyes, all the time. She's her mama's baby girl."

She smiled at him, a little shyly. "Still. I just wish I'd had more time." She turned her head to the side.

He moved so that he was sitting beside her, the sheets pulled up to his waist. "We get to be together all day, Connie. All of us."

She turned back to look at him. "I know."

"You want me to see if she's awake?"

She looked happy then. "Yes, please." He turned to get out of bed. She put her hand on his arm and he turned back. "Thanks, babe. I know you're right and everything will be fine. I think once I get back into the swing of it, I'll be fine. _We'll_ be fine."

He leaned over to kiss her. "It's all good, baby." Then he got up and walked down the hall to the nursery. Connie had not had a lot of time to pull the nursery together before Ryleigh was born. She had done most of it while Ryleigh was in the NICU and then, when she came home, they'd had her in their bedroom. It had just been a few nights since Connie had agreed to move her to the nursery, but she'd done really well.

He pushed the door open slowly. The night light put out its soft yellow glow. The mobile over the crib was made with shiny satin stars and moons and suns and the light made them gleam. He walked over and stood next to the crib, looking down at his baby daughter. As often happened, his breath seemed to catch in his throat as he watched her. She was still asleep, all wrapped in her swaddle blanket. Her breathing was shallow and even. Her head was turned to the left, facing away from him.

He thought she looked a bit like Taylor when she was a baby. Everyone always said Taylor looked like him and, since Connie told him she thought Ryleigh looked like him, he guessed that would make sense. Ryleigh's skin was soft as velvet. Her tiny little fingers and toes were perfectly formed. Her legs were thin. _Chicken legs_, he'd told Connie and she had told him Ryleigh's legs were just thin like his, a smug smile on her face when she said it. She was perfectly proportioned though, slender instead of chunky. When she was awake, her deep blue eyes were wide open and alert, taking in everything around her. She had a hint of dark fuzz on her head and a perfect little rosebud mouth. He often marveled that he and Connie had made such a perfect little being.

His eyes suddenly felt misty and he breathed in, pushing back gently from the crib. He didn't want to wake her, she'd be up soon enough. He headed back for the door and, stepping out into the hall, closed it gently. Then he made his way back to the bedroom. Connie looked up expectantly, but she noticed right away he didn't have the baby. "She was still asleep," he said.

She looked a little disappointed, but she smiled anyway. "It's okay. I'll see her soon enough." She pushed back the sheet and swung her legs off the side of the bed, then pushed up. "I think I'll go ahead and get a quick shower, okay?" He smiled at her and nodded, then watched her as she headed for the bathroom. Even though she claimed otherwise, she had lost her baby weight, not that she'd had a lot in the first place. Not that it truly mattered to him, because he loved her no matter how she looked. She would forever be beautiful to him.

**Connie**

It was her first day back at work. Ryleigh was just seven weeks old. She hadn't even been home from the hospital that long. She got her dressed and put her in the bassinette while she finished getting dressed. As she stood in front of the mirror, she questioned her decision to come back so early. They had been working around her and now they would start filming the scenes she had missed. They had waited as long as they could, but her scenes were needed so they could do the final edits on the season premiere episode. She had spent time with the wardrobe stylists on her clothes for the first few episodes, finding things that fit her comfortably. She just had the smallest of swells to her stomach now, although Chip told her she was imagining it, and they were accommodating her with outfits that had some give. The main issue, from her perspective, was being sure she didn't show much cleavage, especially at first, but they'd been amazing. She and Chip were filming the flashback scenes first, but on her second filming day, she'd do the coma scenes – she rolled her eyes when she thought about them. Thinking about working with Chip again made her smile, though, and she leaned down to rub her nose against Ryleigh's.

"You're going to work with your daddy and mama, sweetheart," she whispered. "I'm so glad you can go with us." Ryleigh waved her arms and her feet. She felt a lump in her throat as she realized they were right at Ryleigh's original due date. They'd been so lucky. It had taken her a little longer than they'd hoped, but Ryleigh had responded really well in the NICU and they had been able to bring her home less than three and a half weeks after she was born. She'd been growing like a weed ever since. She was still a little behind on weight and length, but she was a perfectly healthy baby.

She picked Ryleigh up and carried her downstairs, placing her in the baby seat while she went through her purse to be sure she had everything she needed. She took her phone and put it in the diaper bag. She opened the bag to be sure she'd put in enough diapers and changes of clothes. Chip had already taken the insulated bag with the bottles of breast milk and the warmer out to the car. She heard footsteps behind her and stood up. She turned to see Yoby and the nanny come into the den. Yoby ran to her and she squeezed him tightly. "Hey, y'all," she said, with a smile. "Are we ready?"

"Ready!" Yoby cried, his voice muffled against her shoulder.

She smiled. "Well, let's go, little man," she said. "Chip's waiting for us in the car." Katie took Yoby by the hand and headed out the door, along with his bag. She grabbed Ryleigh's diaper bag and slung it over her shoulder. Then she picked up the baby and, holding her close, headed for the door herself.

* * *

She was already exhausted by the time they got to the house along the Cumberland River where they'd be filming that day. There was a trailer onsite for them to use, since they needed someplace outside of the house itself for Yoby and Ryleigh. She and Katie got the kids settled in, while Chip went in the house to get dressed for the first scene and then head for hair and makeup. As she was settling Ryleigh into the travel bassinette, she heard the trailer door open and close. She turned to see Judith, already hair and makeup ready for filming.

Judith opened her mouth wide, her eyes dancing with excitement. "Can I get my hands on your precious baby girl for just one second?" she said, speaking softly.

She stepped back, a smile on her face. "Judith, meet Ryleigh," she said, feeling proud of her baby.

Judith leaned over the bassinette and gasped with pleasure. "Oh, sweetie, she's even more precious than her pictures," she cried. She ran her finger gently over Ryleigh's arm. She moved her hand, balled into a fist, to her mouth, kicking her legs. Judith looked over her shoulder. "Connie, she's an angel," she said, then turned back to focus on Ryleigh.

She smiled. "We think she's pretty special." She touched Judith's arm. "I need to go get ready for the scene. You can stay here, if you like."

Judith looked at her and grinned. "I like." She made a shooing motion with her hand. "You go on. I'll see you in a little bit."

She waved as she headed for the door and out into the yard. She was halfway across the porch when Chip walked out. He was wearing jeans, along with a light gray tank and a sleeveless collared, button down shirt over the tank. The shirt was unbuttoned and it made her want to slide her arms around his waist He smiled when he saw her. "Hey, baby," he said as he approached, putting an arm around her waist and pulling her in for a kiss.

She took a couple steps back and looked him up and down. "You sure do look like a hoodlum," she said with a grin. "Like someone out of Grease."

"Grease?" He held his arms out, his legs slight bent. "I thought I kind of looked like the Fonz." He had a look of mock disappointment on his face.

She laughed. "Wrong hair, babe." She reached out and grabbed part of the shirt between her index finger and thumb. "And this isn't leather."

"Well, shoot, there goes my cool factor." He smiled. "You going in?"

She nodded. "it's going to take me a bit to get ready. "I have that wig, you know." She made a face. Her hair was too long to try to manipulate into a shoulder brushing hair style. She didn't understand why it made a difference, but apparently it did, so she had given up making a big deal out of it. She put her hand on his arm. "Judith is in the trailer spoiling our daughter." She smiled. "I have to admit it's nice to know she's just right there and that whenever there's a break, I can run over and see her. And check in on Yoby."

He grinned. "See, I told you."

She smirked. "You did." She started to walk towards the door, then stopped. "Thanks for putting up with me."

He looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Everything. But most recently coming back to work."

He put his arm around her and kissed her on the forehead. "I don't mind," he said with a smile. "So go on and get ready."

She smiled back at him and, with a wave, walked towards the sliding doors.

* * *

The last scene they filmed that day was the lovemaking scene. It was well after dark and she was tired. She wasn't so sure the two day schedule was such a great idea after all. She really wasn't spending quite as much time with Yoby and Ryleigh as she had expected and her emotions were all over the place. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She was standing, with a blanket around her, looking out through the sliders at the river, the moon sparkling across the dark water.

"You okay?" She'd been deep in thought and he startled her a bit.

She looked back at him, giving him a little bit of a smile. "I'm tired. This has really worn me out."

He frowned. "Maybe we need to talk to Callie and Dee about stretching out your schedule."

She shook her head. "I'm okay." Through the blanket she felt his hand at her waist. "it's just all the standing around."

"You nervous about doing this?"

"A little. These kinds of scenes are always so _not_ romantic." She gave him a tiny smile. "It feels weird now that people know we're together." She laughed a little. "Maybe it shouldn't, but somehow it is." He had his shirt off and that was a little distracting.

He was staring at the window too. "I knew I was in love with you the first time we did a scene like this," he said, his voice as quiet as a whisper.

She remembered. She'd had that little quivering feeling in her stomach every time she was around him, which was a lot, since they had so many scenes together. She also remembered she didn't want to feel that way. She had worked hard to try to pretend she didn't have feelings for him. That scene had been very intimate and her body had responded. She didn't say anything about it and he hadn't either. Not then. She smiled at him. "I know." She paused. "I was still trying to pretend I didn't."

He looked at her then and smiled. "I know that too." He ran his fingers up and down her back and she felt those delicious tingles. "I think you're gonna have to figure out how to stay awake tonight."

"Chip? Connie? You guys ready?" They turned then and stepped away from each other, waiting to be told how the director wanted the scene set up.

* * *

She undressed, leaving her clothes in a pile on the floor. Katie was gone, the kids were both down, and she felt like she really needed to wash the day off. She reached into the shower and turned on the water, waiting until it warmed up to get in. She reached for a bath sponge and some body wash, lathering it up. The shower door opened and Chip walked in. He came up behind her, putting his arms around her, and leaned into her neck. "Mind if I join you?" he asked.

She laughed. "I think you already have." He kissed her neck, then sprinkled little kisses across her shoulder. He let one hand drift down, splaying out his fingers over her lower abdomen. She felt a languid heat at her core. His other hand gently caressed her breast. She missed the touch of his fingers there. She could feel her nipples get rigid and tight. She wasn't ready for more than the light touching yet, worried about leaking, and he had been understanding. She closed her eyes as he just lightly grazed her nipple with his fingers. He groaned softly and she felt him get hard. "Mmm," she moaned. He moved his hand from her abdomen down between her legs, grazing her gently with his fingers. Her knees felt a little weak and she moaned a little louder.

"That feel good?" he murmured into her ear.

She nodded. "Mm hm." The exquisite heaviness made her go back and forth between letting it continue to build and having him take her then so she could experience the exploding pleasure.

"You want a little more?" She couldn't speak, so she nodded. He slid the tip of his finger inside her and she moaned. He slid it in a little further and she felt herself shiver from the sensations she was feeling. As much as she loved how he was making her feel, she wanted more. She pushed back against him, as the water from the shower flowed all over them. He didn't seem to take the hint, so she tilted her ass slightly. He still continued to tease, as he kissed the side of her neck.

He moved his hand from her breast and then wrapped his arm around her waist, all the while just pulsing in and out with his finger, just barely inside her. She made little moaning noises and then reached out to put her hands on the shower wall. She was getting close. "Oh please, Chip," she murmured. He chuckled a little, then moved his hand as he nudged her legs with his knee. She opened them wide, bending slightly as she did, and then suddenly he was inside her. "Oh," she breathed out.

He was moving inside her and she could feel the circles of pleasure filling her up. "Oh, baby, you feel so good," he whispered. "So good. So hot." She let go then, crying out as she did. Then she felt him come inside her, in a rush, as he pressed his mouth against her shoulder. Her eyes were closed, her hands flat against the wet tile. He had one arm around her waist. Then she felt his other hand cover hers. She was breathing hard and she could feel his panting against her shoulder, his breath hot. The sound of the shower still spilling water all over them just felt like they were inside a bubble where they were the only two people on earth.

He turned her around then, cupping her face with his hands as he looked into her eyes. She put her hands on his waist. A smile slowly spread over his face and he leaned forward, kissing her. "I had fun working with you today," he said.

She smiled back. "I did too. I just wish I was working with you tomorrow."

He nodded. "Me too. But I decided I'm going in with you anyway."

She was surprised. "You are? Why? It's your day off, babe."

He shrugged, then kissed her again. "I wanna be with you," he said. "And I can be there with Yoby and Ryleigh."

"Are you sure? Because we'll have to let Katie know."

He smirked. "Already did. I told her we'd pay her anyway, but that I was gonna do dad duty." He kissed her again. "And make out with you whenever I can."

She gasped. "You didn't," she said, although she knew he was teasing her.

He got that wicked look in his eyes, raising one eyebrow. "I might have."

She laughed. "Well, I'm certainly not going to say no to a little making out." She held up her hands then. "I think I'm a prune now."

He let go of her. "I think we probably both are."

She smiled at him as she turned off the shower and then ran her hands down her hair, squeezing out the water as she did. Then she stepped around him and opened the shower door, stepping out. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, then walked over to the vanity and picked up a comb, gently running it through her hair. He came up behind her, after he'd wrapped a towel around his waist, and kissed her neck. She smiled into the mirror. "You know what?" she said.

He smiled. "What?"

"I love you."

He kissed her neck again. "I love you too." Then he left her to finish combing and then drying her hair.

When she finally went back into the bedroom, he was asleep, the lights all on. She put on a t-shirt and shorts and turned out the lights and then crawled into bed, rolling onto her side so that she faced him. She smiled and then closed her eyes, falling asleep quickly.

**Chip**

He was awake early, earlier even than he needed to be. His overnight bag had been packed the night before and was sitting by the door to the garage. His guitar was in the trunk of his car, although he still hadn't decided if he was actually going to take it. He got dressed, being quiet so he didn't wake up Connie. He walked down to the nursery. As he approached the crib, Ryleigh turned her head and he saw she was awake. He leaned over the rail. "Hey, there, sweet girl," he said softly. They were still swaddling her at night, but he could see movement of both her arms and legs, as though she were trying to get out. She started smacking her lips together, which he knew meant she was hungry and would shortly start to cry.

He reached into the crib and unwound the swaddling cloth, then picked her up and carried her to the changing table. Once she was changed and in a new onesie, he took her downstairs to feed her. he waited for the bottle to warm and then took her into the den, where he settled into the club chair near the fireplace and touched the nipple of the bottle to her lips. She took it immediately. He loved times like this, when no one else was awake and he was holding Ryleigh in his arms. The only light that was on was the lamp by the chair and it made it feel cozier somehow, like the two of them were wrapped in a cocoon. He knew she was gaining weight, but she still seemed small, not that he cared. Holding her in his arms felt good. It had been such a long time since his kids had been babies and he was enjoying this time with her.

He remembered how shocked he'd been when Connie told him she was pregnant. He hadn't quite known what to say and he had left her house without reassuring her. He loved Connie, that wasn't in doubt by that point, but a baby had seemed so not in the cards for them. Connie was older, they had actually never even talked about it. After he'd taken a minute to get used to the idea, he wasn't even upset. He'd been excited to go through all of that with her. It had complicated both their lives, his the most, but getting to share this with her, seeing her excitement, had made it all worth it. The baby girl he held in his arms was proof of that.

When she was done with the bottle, he held her against his shoulder and rubbed her back. Which is where Connie found him when she came downstairs. She smiled when she saw them, then made her way over to where he was sitting. She leaned over and kissed him, then dragged an ottoman over so she could sit facing him. "What are you doing up so early?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Just woke up, I guess."

"I didn't hear her wake up."

"When I got up, I went in her room, and she was awake. She was doing that thing with her mouth where you know she's hungry, so I got her up and got a bottle, so she wouldn't wake you up."

She looked at him carefully. "Are you anxious?"

He shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. "Nah."

She looked like she didn't believe him, but she seemed to be okay with letting it go. "Okay. So, do you have any plans yet?"

He breathed in. "When I get there, I'm gonna go talk to Patty. There are a couple visitation things I want to hammer out with her and then I want to see what the mood is with the kids. Taylor's got a soccer game, so I'll go to that with Chase and Addie and we'll go out to dinner after. That's as far as I got." Ryleigh burped then and he looked at her. "Good job, sweetie," he said with a smile.

Connie held her arms out. "You want me to take her?"

He shook his head. "I'm not gonna see her for a few days. I want all the time I can get." She smiled. "Anyway, I guess how today goes will determine how tomorrow goes."

She put her hand on his knee. "I'm betting it goes well. I think this is what y'all need, you know? Take everything else out of the equation for now."

He knew she meant taking them out of the equation, with them meaning her and the kids, as well as the two of them. Maybe she was right, although he hated to think that's what it would take. "Well," he said. "I'm willing to try."

* * *

When he got to his seat and got settled, he put his ballcap on and closed his eyes, folding his arms over his chest. Most times, when he flew, he didn't mind chatting up whoever was sitting next to him. He generally liked talking to people, whether they knew who he was or not. He actually liked when they didn't, since they were usually more natural, but he also had to be honest that he liked being recognized. It wasn't that he'd gotten into the acting business to be famous on the level of a Kevin Costner or Tom Cruise, but he had often thought he might someday get a lead on a show, or even just a meaty recurring role. The Office had probably been the closest he'd come to that. He had Whose Line, but that was different. He'd mostly thought it had passed him by. Until Nashville. That people recognized him in the Publix or a liquor store or a drug store, apart from Connie, had felt good. He always tried to be approachable, which had led to some fascinating airplane conversations. But this time he needed time to think. And prepare.

He felt the plane pull back from the gate. The flight attendant was giving the safety talk but he tuned it out. It wasn't long before the plane was barreling down the runway and then lifting off the ground. Within a few minutes, he was asleep.

* * *

The person sitting next to him slid back into the seat, jarring his seat a little, which woke him up. He wondered what time it was and how far they were from LAX. Once he got there, he would rent a car and drive out towards Sherman Oaks. He had a hotel reservation and would see if he could check in early. He was supposed to meet Patty at the house at 2:00. He had only talked to her on the phone a handful of times since he and Connie had come back to Nashville. Those conversations had been about the kids and were short and awkward.

"_Be cordial, babe," Connie said to him the night before._

"_I'm __always__ cordial," he retorted._

_She shook her head. "You can be a diva when you don't get your way," she said, with a sly smile. He raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes. She laughed then. "You are. You know you are. You can get so unbelievably pissy when you're annoyed or irritated." She reached for his hand. "I just want you to look at the bigger picture, consider the journey."_

She was right, of course. Not about him being a 'diva' – he still thought she was wrong about that – but he did have a short fuse. His and Patty's divorce would be final in a little more than a month. Everything had been worked out with surprisingly little bickering. He had a request for visitation, which was one thing he wanted to ask, but she had wanted to talk about his expectations, both for the weekend and for the future. He wasn't sure what there was to talk about, but Connie had told him to meet her halfway, that she was the key to this going well. So he would.

* * *

He was on his way to the house and he felt uncharacteristically nervous. He'd officially moved out of the house six months earlier and now it felt strange to drive the old familiar route. When he pulled into the driveway, he noted that not much had changed. Flowers were blooming that hadn't been when he left, but that was really it. He turned off the ignition and opened the door. He was halfway up the walk when the front door opened and Patty walked out. She hadn't really changed at all. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. But her arms were crossed over her chest and her face was not welcoming. Not that he'd expected it to be.

He tried smiling. "Hey, Patty," he said.

"Hey." She breathed in. "I have to say this surprises me."

"What? That I came out here?"

"Yeah."

He frowned. "Why? I want to see my kids."

"isn't it hard to get away?"

"I'm working out a schedule." He concentrated on not letting himself get irritated. "This is important to me."

"Okay. So come on in." He followed her into the house. Again, not much had changed, except that he did note she'd put away all the pictures that had included him. Not that he was surprised, but it was sobering. They sat across from each other in the dining room. He couldn't read her face. "I _am_ glad you came to see the kids," she said finally.

"You are?"

She made a face. "Of course. You need to see them. They need to see you."

He was surprised. "I, well, I didn't expect that," he said.

"Why not? Look, you and I may be splitting up, but you're not doing that with the kids. The one thing I don't want to do is make them choose sides." She sighed. "I wanted to tell you that, in front of them, I will be respectful. What goes on between us is between us. I won't talk badly about you to them, even though I might want to. I just wanted you to know that."

"Thank you," he said.

"I'm not doing this for _you_, Chip. I'm doing it for _them_. You're their father, even if you did have an affair and break up the family. They're old enough to understand that." She paused for a moment. "I know you love them. They love you too. And they need to believe that our focus is on them. Helping them through these emotions." He could see the tension in her shoulders, how she clenched her jaw. "They're looking at us, Chip, to know what to do. How to feel."

"Patty, I've never said anything unkind about you. I respect you as their mom. I always have. What happened between us doesn't change that."

"I don't want them to feel like they have to hide things. They came back from Nashville and I think they felt guilty."

"Guilty for what?"

She looked away. "About loving the baby."

That surprised him. He knew this wasn't about Ryleigh, but it gave him a warm feeling to know they'd felt that way, since it had been hard to know exactly what their feelings were. "I think they probably didn't want to hurt you," he said.

She stood up then and he did as well. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad you're doing this and I'll support you with them."

"Well, thank you for letting me. It means a lot."

She crossed her arms over her waist. "They're excited that you came."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really? Even Addie?"

She let him see a little bit of a smile cross her face. "Even Addie. Maybe especially Addie. She came home feeling a little guilty about having been a pill."

He had to smile. The truth was that Addie had been a little more than just a pill, but he was grateful she had recognized it. "Well, I get that it was tough for everyone. I was really happy they came anyway."

She nodded and then changed the subject. "So, the game is at 3:30. I'm going to pick up Addie and drop her off."

He frowned. "You're not going to the game?" it was something she always did. She never missed an event or activity for any of the kids.

She shook her head. "I want the time to be for the four of you. It's a chance for all of you to figure out what's next."

He nodded. "I want them to be part of...my life in Nashville too." The hardness in her face was back, but he pushed through. "I'll come out here and spend time with them, and I _want_ to do that. But I have a life in Nashville too that I want them to be involved in, and I think it's important to include some time for them to come there. I won't push, I promise, but they _do_ have a sister there and I want them all to know each other." He breathed in. "And that includes Connie and Yoby." She turned away. "I know it's complicated, I do. And I know I'm the one who made it that way." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "But at some point, Ryleigh is a package deal."

She looked back at him then. "Have fun at the soccer game."

He knew the conversation was over. And maybe it wasn't one he had to have with her anyway. It was a process, as Connie kept saying, and it would need to be with the kids.

**Connie**

Yoby and Ryleigh were asleep. She was sitting in bed reading a book. She'd been wondering all day how things had gone with Chip and his kids. They had talked after his conversation with Patty and he'd seemed cautiously hopeful. That Patty wouldn't interfere was encouraging and she hoped it would make things easier for him. _I told her you were part of the deal and I guess if that gets in the way..._ He'd drifted off then and it made her a little anxious. It would take time for them to accept her as part of his life, she knew that. She just didn't want him to try to move too quickly.

Her phone buzzed then. "Hey," she said, with a smile.

"Hey. Did I wake you?"

"No, I'm just doing some reading before bed. How did things go?"

"Actually really good. Chase and Addie and I were at Taylor's game. And then we went to dinner. They were pretty chatty, seemed comfortable. No real tenseness or anything."

She smiled. "I'm so glad. Even Addie?"

"Yep, even her."

"I'm so glad, Chip. I was really hoping this would help all of you. So what's on tap for tomorrow?"

"The beach, maybe a movie or something. Fun dad kind of stuff, I guess." He sighed.

"What is it, babe?" she asked, a frown crossing her face.

"I don't know. I guess it made me think about going to Pittsburgh to see my dad. He always had a full weekend of plans, things we would probably have never done if he'd still been at home. I feel like I'm doing the same thing, planning out a weekend so we're busy and don't have time to just be a family."

"You know, you could always stay at the house out there and have them come over. You don't have to stay in a hotel."

"I guess."

She slid down in the bed. "Do it next time. Maybe they could stay with you and you could do things you normally do. Watch sports or just cook out or something."

"Maybe I will." He paused. "I know it's only been a day, but I miss you."

She smiled to herself. "I miss you too. Another reason I'm still awake. This bed is too empty." She laughed softly. "I've really gotten used to you."

"I've gotten used to you too. Which is a good thing, I think."

"A very good thing."

"Kids okay?"

"Yeah, they are. Yoby really has missed you. He keeps asking when you're coming home from work."

He laughed. "Tell him soon. He'll probably be asleep when I get back Sunday, but tell him I'll still check in. So it's late for you."

She rolled onto her side, facing his side of the bed, missing him. "Have a great rest of the weekend. I miss you." She paused. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Dream about me."

She smiled. "Count on it." When he disconnected, she reached her hand out, dropping the phone. She smoothed her hand over his pillow, then sighed. They had pretty much been together every day since he'd come back to Nashville earlier in the year, after going to LA to tell his family about their relationship and that they were having a baby. It left a void, having him gone. Even though it was just a weekend, her heart ached for him. She pulled the pillow towards her and pressed her face to it, breathing in deeply. It had his smell, faintly musky but clean.

She fell asleep with her arms wrapped around the pillow, clenching it hard against her chest, dreaming of Chip.

**Chip**

Addie was quiet the next day. She wasn't withdrawn, just not her usual bubbly self. He worried that she didn't want to be with them at the beach, that she didn't want to be doing any of it at all. But she laughed and seemed like she was having fun, so he thought maybe he was overthinking things. It was a hot day, though, so after lunch they decided to go to a movie. They went to see We're The Millers. It wasn't the funniest movie he'd ever seen, but the kids seemed to like it, which was all that mattered.

When he dropped them off, he reached for Addie's arm, as she was sitting up front with him. Taylor and Chase got out, calling out their goodbye's and he smiled and waved. Then he looked back at Addie. "You okay?" he asked, frowning just a little.

She shrugged. "Yeah, why?"

"Well, you were just kind of quiet today."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be."

He shook his head. "You don't need to be sorry. I just wanted to check."

She sat back against the seat and sighed. Then she turned to look at him. "Everything is just weird," she said.

"Weird in what way?"

"Well, we were supposed to be moving to Nashville and now we're not. You're there and we're here and it's a long way. We won't see you much."

"I'm gonna come as often as I can. I miss y'all. I don't want to not see you. And your mom and I are talking about y'all maybe coming out in the summer. I'll be here when we wrap the show until July and then maybe we work it out where y'all come to the beach and then come to Nashville and stay for a few weeks before you go back to school. What about that?"

She shrugged again. "It might be alright. But it's not the same."

He was pretty sure he knew what she meant. "Well, that's probably true. But things change. _We_ change. _Life_ changes." He stopped and gave her a long look. "It could be better than you think. I know you probably don't think so right now, but maybe just give her a chance."

She breathed in. "Maybe."

He reached out and put his hand on the side of her head. He was grateful she didn't flinch or pull away. "Addie, I love you. I love you and Taylor and Chase. You're 3 of the most important people in my life. I want you all to be part of my life in Nashville. You have a sister there and I want her to know you as she grows up." He smiled. "Listen, I promise not to make you do anything you don't want to, but I just don't want you to shut the door."

"I guess," she murmured.

"I love you, Addie."

She looked up at him. "I love you too, Dad." He reached across the seat and hugged her and, to his relief, she hugged him back.

When he sat back, he smiled at her. "I know you need to go, but I just want you to know that it would hurt so much if I didn't have you in my life. So I hope you won't turn away."

She looked at him for a moment, then finally nodded. "I gotta go. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

He smiled then, tears pricking his eyes. "Yeah. Brunch before I go."

She unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door to get out. She turned back then and she smiled. "I'll see you then." Then she slipped out of the car and closed the door, jogging up the walk to the porch and then disappearing into the house.

He sat back, closing his eyes for a moment, feeling hopeful.


	25. Chapter 25

**Connie**

She closed the book she'd been reading to Yoby and looked over at him. He looked really sleepy, but his eyes were still open. "When's Chip get here?" he asked, his little voice sounding plaintive.

She looked thoughtful. "Soon. But it'll be after you're asleep." He pouted and she smiled. "I'm sorry, buddy, but he'll be here when you get up in the morning." She raised her eyebrows. "In fact, we're all going to work together tomorrow."

He grinned. "We are?"

She nodded. "Um hm." She had scenes with Judith and the Stella sisters and he had scenes with the actress who would be Deacon's new girlfriend. She'd been teasing him about that.

Yoby sighed. "One more please."

She smiled. "Okay, one more. But you need to close your eyes, okay?" he nodded. She reached for another book off the bedside table and opened it, beginning to read. "In the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon and a picture of the cow jumping over the moon..."

* * *

She walked into the nursery and checked in on Ryleigh. It was hard to believe her baby was 3 months old. She was sleeping longer during the night, which was appreciated. And she'd grown so much. She was still slightly behind other babies her age, but she no longer felt so tiny and fragile. She was a happy baby, cooing and making tiny laughing sounds. She was more alert, waving her hands and arms and legs around. And it didn't bother her at all that Ryleigh's main focus of attention was Chip. When she heard his voice, she turned towards it. When he crossed her sight line, she followed him with her eyes. It was beautiful to see.

She stood there a little while longer and then left the room, walking back down the hallway and then down the stairs. It was almost dark out, but the last glimmers of sunset were still visible through the trees. She went in the kitchen and took a bottle of wine out of the fridge. Setting it on the counter, she got a glass and then poured the wine into it. After putting the bottle back, she went and sat at the kitchen island, reaching for her phone. She smiled when she saw she had a text from Chip a few minutes earlier. _Just landed. See you soon._

She picked up the phone and texted back. _Can't wait to see you._ And then a heart emoji. She had missed him and she was looking forward to hearing how he felt about how things had gone in LA. She took a sip of her wine and set the glass back down. She rested her elbows on the counter and clasped her hands together and rested her chin on them. When she'd talked to him the night before he'd felt hopeful. She knew him so well, though, and she knew he could get caught up in that and feel like he'd won. He wanted that so badly, she knew, and she wanted it for him. She sighed. _You're a good man, Chip Esten,_ she thought. _But you're a very impatient and sensitive one too. Just take things one step at a time. Promise me._

_I'm not very patient either._ She smiled to herself as she picked up her phone and looked at the time. She wondered how long it would take before he walked in the door. She was so ready for him to be home.

**Chip**

He'd pressed on the gas and pushed the speed on the highway. He'd never been one to drive slow, had always pushed the boundaries. He didn't do anything slow or just enough. He wanted it all and he wanted it now. As a result, sometimes he didn't always get what he wanted. But most of the time he did. The flight had been a little early and, at the last minute, he'd decided not to take his guitar to LA, which meant all he'd had to do was grab his bag from the overhead compartment and he was on his way to the parking lot at the airport. Which meant he'd get home faster.

_Home._ He smiled when he thought about that. it hadn't felt exactly like home when he'd first started staying there most of the time. It had been homey, for sure, and Connie was in it, which was the best part, but he'd still had that apartment and so it had felt more like a place where he stayed. Towards the end, before the first season was over and before he and Connie had gone back to LA, it had started to feel more like home. His things were in the house now, mixed with hers, mixed with Yoby's and now Ryleigh's. He and Connie had put the nursery together, choosing everything themselves. He had a room in the basement where he could store his guitars and a keyboard. It was a rental, but they had been able to make it theirs.

What really made it a home, though, were the people who lived in it. He never failed to wake up in the morning and feel grateful for the woman he shared a bed with. Shared a life with. Shared a family with. He had watched Connie grow a life inside her, a life they'd created together, who connected them irrevocably. It was still missing one thing though. It was missing Taylor, Chase and Addie but he was hopeful they were building that path so that they could all be a family.

That then made him think of the home he'd had for over 15 years. The house in Sherman Oaks, but the people who lived in it. That had been his home too. He'd made a home and a family with someone else and for a long time he'd thought that was what he'd been waiting for. It wasn't fair to say he hadn't loved Patty or been happy. Most of that was wrapped up in his kids. Eventually it had not felt like where he wanted to be for the rest of his life. Something had changed the day he met Connie. Something life changing. Something life affirming.

Now, as he wound his way through the tree-lined streets in the neighborhood where he now lived, he couldn't wait to see her.

* * *

She was waiting when he walked in the door, dropping his bag on the floor. She squealed with excitement, a huge smile on her face. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck, while he wrapped his own around her waist, pulling her close. He kissed her, enjoying the taste of her mouth and the firmness of her lips against his. "God, I'm glad to be home," he said, when he finally pulled his lips from hers.

"I'm glad you're home too, babe," she said. she leaned back a little. "Do you realize we have not spent a night apart since you moved in here? Except when I was in the hospital. Until now?"

He nodded. "I _do_ know. But now I'm back and I can't wait to show you how much I missed you."

She laughed. "I can't wait either. But don't you want to tell me how it went first?"

He acted like he was thinking about it, then smiled. "No. I don't think I do."

She was no good at pretending to be seductive, so she didn't even try. She took his hand and led him up the stairs. As soon as he shut the door to the bedroom, they stripped off their clothes and he chased her onto the bed. He grabbed her arms and gently pushed her down onto the mattress, as she laughed happily. He laid down beside her and then turned her face towards him. He lowered his head until his lips met hers. At first he just kissed her lazily, letting his tongue trace her lips until she opened them to his. As the heat between them built up, the kisses became more heated, their tongues chasing each other as he sucked on her lips.

He was already rock hard and throbbing. She rolled slightly towards him, rocking her hips. He thrust two fingers inside her, moaning into her mouth as he felt how warm and wet she was. He kept a rhythm going as he moved his fingers inside her. He was still kissing her, but they were both moaning. He felt her shiver slightly and he knew she was right on the edge. He slid his fingers out and then rolled on top of her. He lifted his head and looked deep into her eyes. She bit down on her lower lip, breathing hard, as he hovered above her.

She drew her knees up and then let them fall apart, still gazing into his eyes. She made a little noise then, her mouth slightly open. He couldn't wait any longer and entered her swiftly. She gasped and then lifted her pelvis towards him. He was still being a little gentle with her, but he pushed inside her quickly, knowing he wouldn't last long. She ran her hands up and down his back, moaning appreciatively, never taking her eyes from his. He started to move inside her, letting himself sink into her warmth. And then, suddenly, he couldn't wait. "Oh, god," he groaned as he emptied himself inside her with 3 quick thrusts. She let her eyes close, arching her back slightly and he could feel her pulsing around him as she made little moaning sounds. Maybe a minute passed and then she relaxed and opened her eyes.

She smiled. "I missed that," she said. "And you."

He kissed her. "Same." He ran his hand over her hair, smoothing it down.

"Will you tell me now how things went?" she asked.

He rolled onto his back and laughed. "No post sex cuddling first?"

She reached over and tapped his nose with her finger, then rolled onto her side, cuddling into him. "We can talk while we cuddle, can't we?"

He chuckled again, reaching for her hand. She threaded her fingers through his. "I thought it went better than I expected. But I think a lot of that is because we were in California." He turned his head to look at her. "So you were right about that."

"Of course I was right," she said, laughter in her voice. "Did you talk about them coming here next summer?"

He nodded. "I did. I didn't really get an answer, but she didn't say no. I already asked my lawyer to add it to the visitation proposal though."

She rubbed her thumb over his. "I hope it works out. And next summer is long enough away that hopefully they'll be open to coming." She pressed her lips against his chest. "I want it to work out for you."

"It would be for all of us, Connie," he said.

"I know. But it's mostly for you. And them." Just then they heard some noise from the baby monitor. She sat up. "Oh dear, she needs food so she'll sleep."

He sat up as well. "Why don't I go get her ready?" He smiled at her and then kissed her. "I know you like to get dressed."

She swatted his arm. "Shut up." But she smiled.

**Connie**

When she walked into the nursery, Chip was getting Ryleigh into her pajamas. As usual, she was flailing her arms and legs and making it difficult for him to get her ready. Plus the fact that she was hungry and fussing didn't help. She smiled as she stood at the doorway. "I wonder if she'll always be that way," she said and he turned to look at her.

"Probably." He turned back to the baby then. "Ryleigh?" he said, sounding a little exasperated. "You gotta stop fighting me." He finally got the last arm through the sleeve and then buttoned her up. When he picked her up, she was sniffling and looked unhappy. He kissed her on the cheek. "If you wouldn't fight me, you wouldn't be so unhappy, baby girl," he murmured against her cheek. Then he turned and handed her off. "I know you want mama," he said, as she reached out for Ryleigh.

Ryleigh was still agitated and starting to cry, so she quickly sat down on the chair. She settled the baby in her arms and then opened up her shirt, guiding Ryleigh to her nipple. She latched on quickly and then started sucking. She sighed. This was still her favorite part of every day. She grabbed Ryleigh's little hand, holding it firmly against her chest. Chip slipped into the chair beside her, putting his arm around the back of the chair. Ryleigh turned her head a little so she could see Chip. She turned and looked at him too. "See? She always looks for you," she said with a smile.

He leaned over and kissed her. "It's not a competition," he said with a smile.

"Well, I know. I just love that she does." She leaned her head back against his arm, feeling Ryleigh tugging at her breast. She wouldn't be able to do this forever, but she loved that she'd gotten the opportunity to do it. she looked up at him. "Did you ever imagine this would be our life?" she asked.

He looked thoughtful. "Not this exact thing, but I was sure, pretty much from the start, that we'd be together one day." He smiled. "The first time we were together, I knew I needed it to be sooner rather than later. But this exact thing?" – he nodded towards Ryleigh – "not until a couple days after you told me you were pregnant. And then I never looked back."

"I was so shocked when I found out I was pregnant. It had never crossed my mind that at my age it was even really possible. I mean, I _know_ women my age _do_ get pregnant, but usually not without a lot of intentional help." She paused for a moment and looked down at her baby. "I hadn't really counted on us being anything more than a first season fling and I tried not to let myself get so emotionally involved, although you didn't make that easy. But when I found out I was pregnant, at first I just had to sit with it a minute, and then I came to the realization that I didn't want to do it without you. But I was afraid that was what would happen." He kissed her on the cheek and she smiled up at him. "I knew that if it did, it would be tough on me, but I knew I could handle it. I almost sort of hoped for that, because I knew it would change so many lives. And it did. It makes it hard sometimes to say this is what I hoped for, that I imagined it happening." She sighed. "There's a lot to fix, but I want to help you do that, if I can."

He pressed his lips against the side of her face. Once, twice, three times. Then he leaned his head against hers and she felt his breath on her neck. "It's been tough," he murmured. "I think you were right to make me go out there. It was good for me and the kids, but it also helped me understand what they're living with every day. Knowing I've got you though, makes it easier."

She smiled at him. Ryleigh stopped feeding then and made a little noise. She looked down at her baby and lightly scratched her chest, which made Ryleigh smile and make little laughing noises. She looked back at Chip. "Do you want to hand me a burp cloth, babe?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Let me take her," he said, holding out his hands. She lifted Ryleigh up and handed her to him, as he arranged the towel over his shoulder. Then he laid her against his shoulder and started rubbing her back. "Do you remember how tiny she was when she was born?"

She nodded. "I do. She seemed so fragile."

"And now she's so big." He smiled at her. "Everything turned out fine."

She nodded. "_Everything's_ going to turn out fine."

* * *

They finally had gotten to the point where they were almost caught up with her scenes. It had been tough for her, filming scenes for episodes that had been completed without her as well as filming the current episodes. In some ways she felt busier than she had been the first season. Having an infant had made things exponentially more challenging. Even with Chip there, it felt like they were juggling too many things and there were times when she felt like they didn't see each other enough. When she _knew_ they weren't seeing each other enough. He was doing a lot of filming without her. Their characters didn't have as many scenes together, as they went through the process of dealing with the aftermath of the accident and Rayna's hospitalization and their natural estrangement. Chip had set a pattern of going out to LA every three weeks or so. Yoby was talking more, showing some of the terrible twos, although her experience was milder, based on what her friends were sharing. Ryleigh was growing like a weed and was coming more into her own. She laughed a lot, or what she decided was laughing, and was mostly a happy baby. She had more hair and her eyes had seemed to settle into a blue that matched Chip's.

As they rode to the studio, both Yoby and Ryleigh were asleep in their car seats. Katie was sitting up front with the driver. She had pulled her script out of the diaper bag and flipped to the scene she and Chip were filming that day. It was one of her favorites so far in the series. Rayna was struggling with her singing voice and Deacon had found out about that and confronted her about it. What she loved about the scene was how it spoke to the relationship the two of them had, even during a difficult time such as the one they were experiencing. It spoke to the connection the two had, deep down underneath the hurt and pain and confusion and distance. They had both lost something in the accident, even beyond each other. They had each seemingly lost what defined them both. He knew what that meant to her, how much of her identity was caught up in her voice. And she too understood the significance of _his_ injury. They both stood there, in Rayna's kitchen, and spoke to the thing that always drew them together, even when they may not have wanted it to. The music.

She and Chip had practiced it the night before. He thought that Deacon was probably feeling responsible for that, just one more way he'd disappointed her and let her down. He also felt like Deacon wouldn't let her hide that she couldn't sing. it was the way the scene was written, but he had approached it from the perspective that Deacon would force Rayna to be vulnerable with him, the way he would have always done, because he knew he was the only person she would be that vulnerable with. As for Rayna, she felt like that's what her character needed, to be called out by the one person who understood her better than anyone else and would force her to say it out loud. She had gotten caught up in the emotion of it and he had smiled, telling her she needed to do _that_ when they filmed it, sounding like she was going to break down with the emotions of it, but managing not to in the end. And then being in a place where she could provide comfort as well and they could share that sense of encouragement.

It was a pretty powerful scene and she was looking forward to it.

She looked over at Ryleigh and Yoby. Ryleigh always fell asleep in a car. It was something she hoped would always be the case. Yoby always fought it and she watched as he fought it then. His eyelids were drooping, but he'd jerk back, trying to keep sleep at bay. But he couldn't quite manage it in the end and she smiled as his head fell towards his shoulder. Tears unexpectedly pricked at her eyes and she breathed in deeply. She thought that she had probably never felt more satisfied and content in her entire life as she did right then.

**Chip**

He walked down the jetway to the plane, on his way home from LA. Connie had been right when she had suggested this. It had helped him feel more connected to his kids and it had improved the relationship. The kids had felt more comfortable talking to him about how they were feeling. Even though it made him sad to think that they couldn't do it in Nashville, he'd decided it didn't matter. Forcing things on them had not been the answer. He was glad they'd come, to meet Ryleigh, but for the time being he knew they needed the time with him in order to rebuild the relationship. Patty had been right too – the kids wanted this relationship with him and didn't want to feel they were choosing sides.

It had been a good weekend. He'd considered Connie's offer to stay at her house, but he'd finally decided it wasn't a good idea. It was _her_ house and it felt like it wouldn't have been comfortable for the kids, even if she wasn't there. So he'd rented a house for the weekend that was near Sherman Oaks and they had stayed with him there. It had felt less like a weekend filled with things for the four of them to do and more like a normal weekend just being normal. It was the second time he'd done it and he could tell it had been the right plan.

As he settled into his seat, he thought that, as great as it had been to spend the weekend with the kids, he was also glad to be going back to Nashville. Going back _home_. Connie had texted him that morning to let him know he'd gotten an envelope from his lawyer's office, so he knew what also awaited him at home. He'd called her when he had gotten to the gate.

"_What is it?" he asked._

"_I didn't open it. It's addressed to you. But don't you think it's your divorce papers?" she said._

"_Yeah, probably. Open it."_

"_You sure?"_

"_Open it." _

She did, and confirmed it was divorce papers, so that was on his mind as well. Patty hadn't mentioned it, but then he hadn't really had any time alone with her. He would go home and sign the documents and that would be the end of nearly 22 years of marriage. It wasn't what he'd expected, back when they'd gotten married and had children. It wasn't even what he thought would happen after Addie's recovery, when it seemed as though they'd forgotten what it felt like to be something other than parents. He had to be honest with himself that there had been no acrimony, no fighting, just a distance. It was as though they'd been apart for 2 years and when they came back together, things were different. Things had changed. At least they had for him, deep down inside.

22 years was a long time though. No small thing. There was a lot of history in all those years and, being honest, a lot of love, support, and shared experiences. He supposed he'd been too flippant with that. With _her_. It wasn't insignificant. He'd had no crystal ball that weekend he'd left his family to move to Nashville. It was to be temporary, as it made no sense to uproot the family, if the show didn't make it. He remembered Patty telling him, when he got the role, that he couldn't have written the more perfect part for himself, and he'd known that was true. It was the role of a lifetime. A lead role, connected to one of the lead actresses. A chance to sing and play music and, if he was lucky, maybe to write music for the show.

It had not been without some trepidation on both his part and Patty's about him being away for so long. Not officially a year, but even with regular trips home, he'd be missing out on a lot. He had no idea whether one of her concerns was about him specifically. It had been a running theme for them, over the years, that his inherently friendly nature and his tendency to be a hugger got him scoldings and warnings from her. He knew that was his personality and he'd reminded her hundreds, if not thousands, of times over the years that it didn't mean anything in the grander scheme of things. It was the truth. Until he met Connie.

He'd been in Nashville nearly 2 weeks before they had the first table read. He'd spent several days in wardrobe and several more in the studio recording his tracks for the first couple episodes. He'd gotten his final script the day before the table read, along with the scene breakdown. He'd had to pinch himself to realize he really was going to be performing at the real Opry and the real Bluebird in the very first episode. It was true, he couldn't have scripted this better himself. He'd roamed the streets of Nashville, getting to know the city, immersing himself in the history and culture and the sound of the city. He'd been filled with excitement and gratitude for the opportunity. It had felt like everything he'd gone through up to that point had led him to this.

What he had not expected to happen to him was that he would fall in love. In the beginning he tried to push down his feelings, turn away from them. They had connected almost immediately. They had chemistry – that was apparent from the start. It was also apparent to him, quickly, that he wasn't the only one struggling with it. when he finally gave into it, he felt guilty. She did too. But it became overpowering and he no longer had the desire to fight it. He would willingly carry the burden of that, because he couldn't do anything else but be with her.

He had long since committed himself to her and to the daughter they'd brought into the world together. Now he would be able to officially make that commitment. It was what he wanted, although she kept telling him to be patient. That they had time. It might be true, but he didn't want to have to wait. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

They had not been able to stay away from each other. They'd tried but the pull was strong. It didn't help that there was the constant undercurrent of sexual tension between their characters. Having to play that out on camera just heightened the need between the two of them. The night he'd gone to her house and she had let him in had been the turning point. They still tried to pretend they'd had a choice, but they'd also both known they did not. He had stayed with her the night before they finished filming for the holiday break. There had been little opportunity to see her, but when she had asked him to stop by after Christmas, she had turned his world upside down. And hers as well. And now they'd come full circle.

He wished the plane could go faster.

**Connie**

She was kind of glad Chip wasn't working that day. He'd insisted on keeping Yoby and Ryleigh at home and she had decided it wasn't worth arguing about. They didn't typically fight, but this had felt like one. There was a chill in the air at home and it was beginning to wear on her nerves. After he'd signed the divorce papers, he'd asked her to marry him. It had been a sweet proposal, with him having dinner catered and then getting down on one knee with a ring. She wanted to say yes, but she thought they needed to wait. His feelings were hurt, she knew that, but it had just seemed too soon.

_She pushed her plate away. "Babe, this was amazing." She laughed. "Definitely not our usual take out."_

_He smiled proudly. "I just thought we deserved it. Lots been going on this year and we're finally on the other side of it."_

_A tiny alarm bell went off, but she brushed it aside. She slid her glass towards him. "I think I'm going to have one more glass of wine," she said. "Just this once." She watched as he poured, then reached for the glass and lifted it to her mouth. He reached for her hand and squeezed it._

"_I love you," he said._

_She smiled. "I love you too." She watched then as he suddenly moved from his chair and went down on one knee in front of her. She held her breath. He pulled a small box out of his pocket._

"_Baby, I don't want to wait." He opened the box and there sat a beautiful princess cut diamond ring. She felt overwhelmed. "Marry me," he said, looking at her hopefully. She couldn't speak and a tiny frown showed up between his eyes. "Connie?"_

_She sat back, crossing her hands over her heart. "I want to, Chip," she said, her voice sounding like a broken whisper to her ears. "But I think we should wait."_

_He snapped the box shut and scowled at her. Then he stood up and, slamming the box on the table, stalked off to the den. She was afraid she'd handled that poorly, so she got up and followed him. He was facing the fireplace. She walked up to him, but didn't touch him. "Chip," she said._

_He didn't turn, but his voice was filled with anger. "So after all this, you don't want to get married? Is that what you're saying?"_

"_No, that's not what I'm saying," she said._

_He turned to her and his face was dark with anger. "But you said no."_

_She shook her head. "I didn't say no. I told you I wanted to. But you're just starting to make some progress with your kids and I don't want this to set you back."_

_He rolled his eyes and walked back into the kitchen. "What difference does the timing make?"_

"_I think it can make a huge difference. You just signed your divorce papers a week ago. We know we're committed to each other. Why can't we wait a little bit?" She was disappointed that he didn't understand, that he wasn't thinking about the kids' reactions. He wouldn't look at her. "I __do__ want to marry you, Chip. You know that. But it doesn't have to happen right this minute."_

_He just shook his head then and walked towards the back door, then out to the garage, slamming the door behind him. She just stood there and, when she heard him start his car and open the garage door, she closed her eyes, feeling tears. She knew she could give in, come up with a compromise, but she didn't want to do that and risk ruining the progress he'd made. She was sure that when he came back, he'd have cooled off._

But he hadn't. She was in bed when he finally came home. She was still awake and she laid there quietly, wondering what he would do. He'd gotten undressed and crawled into the bed, but he turned his back to her and didn't say a word.

It had been 3 days and they'd hardly spoken. She'd taken the approach of just acting as though it hadn't happened. She still talked to him as though they were carrying on a conversation, ignoring his silence. She didn't mention the proposal again, knowing he'd need to figure out in his own mind what he wanted to do about it. She didn't want it to go on too long, but she was going to give him a little space to come to the right conclusion.

She walked over to Rayna's kitchen set. She had 2 scenes that day, both in the kitchen. One with Will Chase and the one she was getting ready to do with Judith. She watched as the crew set up the space and, as she was standing there, Judith came up beside her. "Hey there," she said.

She turned and smiled. "Hey." She put her arm around Judith. "I'm so glad I'm working with you today," she said.

Judith smiled. "Me too. So, did you bring Ryleigh with you?"

She shook her head. "Chip isn't working today and he volunteered to keep both kids at home. I'm not sure he knows what he's in for, but he was kind of insistent."

Judith chuckled. "I guess he likes playing daddy, huh?"

She nodded. "He really does. He's really the perfect dad for little ones, because he loves to play." She unexpectedly got a lump in her throat, thinking about that. He _did_ love to play. He and Yoby would build things with his blocks and push his trucks around. They could stay at a park for hours sliding down slides and swinging and he never got tired of it. And he'd get down on the floor with Ryleigh during her tummy time and get her squealing with baby laughter. She really hated having disappointed him.

Luckily she and Judith got called to the set, so she was able to focus on something else.

**Chip**

He had put Yoby down for a nap and now he was settling Ryleigh in her crib. She hadn't quite fallen asleep yet, although her eyelids were drooping, so he stood by the crib, watching her. She was 4 months old and she'd changed so much from the day she was born. She was a happy baby most of the time. The pediatrician told Connie that Ryleigh had caught up to other babies her age, which had been a relief. Although her problems, after she was born, were relatively minor, it still was comforting to know there were no long term issues. She definitely brought a lot of joy into their lives and had bonded them closer together than ever.

He frowned then. It was things like that that made him irritated that she wouldn't just say yes to his proposal. Even if they kept it a secret. _What's the harm in that? Why does she have to be so damn literal? _He shook his head. Even though she had said before she didn't think they needed to rush into anything, he'd been angry that she'd said no to him. Kneeling down in front of her with the ring and she said no. Oh, he knew she said that wasn't a no, but how could it not be? The ring was in a drawer and not on her finger. She hadn't said the words 'yes, I'll marry you'. Again, she'd said that wasn't what she'd said at all. She was putting him off. And he was still pissed about it every time he thought about it. She was acting like nothing was wrong, but that wasn't true and it was pissing him off that she was just moving on like nothing had happened. For the past three nights, he'd slept with his back to her and she'd never even reacted to it.

He looked down then and saw that Ryleigh was asleep, so he quietly left the room, pulling the door almost closed as he did. Then he hustled down the stairs and into the kitchen, setting about making coffee. She was working that day and he'd convinced her to let the kids stay home with him. They would distract him from brooding, something he'd done too much of over the last few days. When the coffee was ready, he poured a mug, and then went into the den. He didn't want to watch TV and he didn't want to read. Or look over his script the next day, since his scenes were with her. He decided to call his sister, thinking he could use a friendly ally.

He picked up his phone and tapped on Cathy's work number. "Hey, big brother," she said when she answered.

"Hey yourself. How's it going?"

"Same as always. What's up?"

"Maybe I just wanted to call," he said.

"Well, maybe, but that's not normally the case. Are you working today?"

"No." He was already irritated and thought maybe she hadn't been the right person to call after all.

"So is everyone at home?"

"No. Connie's working."

"Oh, so you're bored."

"No, I'm not bored. The kids are here." He shook his head. "You know what? Maybe I just need to go."

"No, no, no, don't do that," she said. "So, we're looking forward to all of you coming for Thanksgiving. And the kids coming from California. That'll be great."

"Yeah." He didn't want to continue small talk. "I asked Connie to marry me."

There was a brief pause. "You did? Congratulations!"

He scowled. "No, no congratulations. She said no."

"What? Surely you aren't serious. Does she just not want to get married or is it something else?"

"She says she does. Just not now."

"Okay, so that's not really no. You know, I really didn't realize you were planning to do this right away. I mean, you _just_ got divorced."

"It wasn't like I was saying we had to do it right away. But I wanted to, you know, make sure she knew I was committed to her."

"I think she knows that." She paused. "Why did she say not now?"

He huffed a little. "She thought we should wait longer because of the kids."

"Well, that sounds smart actually. You're making some inroads with them. Why undo all of that?"

"We didn't have to tell anyone."

She started laughing and he got pissed. "Seriously, Chip? You're the _worst_ at keeping secrets. At some point, Thanksgiving weekend, you'd get all full of yourself and tell everyone. You know I'm right about that."

"That's not true." Although it wasn't out of the realm of possibility, he had to admit.

"Of course it's true. Connie's a very smart, astute woman. She's got good instincts. You should listen to her. And thank god you have her and that she wants to be there. You know she's not saying no, Chip. Why are you being all petulant?"

"I'm gonna hang up."

She laughed again. "That's fine. But don't be mad at _her_. Tell her she's right. Kiss and make up. It'll happen." She paused. "She's not going anywhere. You can wait."

He hated when his sister was right.

**Connie**

She hesitated before she walked in the house. She'd ended up having a good day at work and she wasn't sure what kind of mood Chip would be in. He seemed to be a little extra stubborn on this one and it made her wonder if maybe she should just give in and say yes and just not wear the ring. She really didn't want to do that though and she was afraid he'd spill the news inadvertently. Even worse, he could do it at Thanksgiving and the kids could overhear and possibly undo all his hard work. She wasn't going anywhere, so she was fine with waiting.

She sighed and opened the door, walking into the kitchen.

"Mom!" she heard Yoby call out. "Mom's home!" She waited and he came barreling around the couch, she knelt down and scooped him up when he ran into her arms.

"Hey, buddy, how are you?" she said, rubbing her nose against his neck. She looked up and saw Chip approach the edge of the kitchen. She couldn't tell anything about his mood. She looked back at Yoby. "Did you have a good day with Chip?" she asked.

Yoby grinned. "Yes!"

"What did you do?"

"Blocks! And trucks! And lunch."

She smiled. "Lunch, huh?" She gave him another hug and stood up, looking at Chip. "Is Ryleigh awake?" she asked.

He shook his head. "She's asleep."

She nodded. "Well, good. I think I'm going to go change and I can peek in on her." She headed for the stairs and she patted his arm as she passed him. "Thanks for taking them on today." She jogged up the stairs and headed down the hall. She stopped at the nursery and opened the door slightly, checking on Ryleigh. She was still asleep, so she headed for the bedroom to change into something more comfortable.

She was in the closet and when she turned around, she flinched a little when she saw Chip standing there. She watched him walk up to her and then he took her in his arms, holding her close. "I'm sorry, baby," he murmured. "I don't know why you put up with me."

She let her arms slide around his back. "I don't know either, sometimes," she said. "Maybe it's because you're so handsome."

He gave her an apologetic smile and kissed her on the forehead. "You were right," he said.

She leaned her head back and smiled. "What was that?"

"You heard me." He tried to hide a smile.

"I'm not sure I did, actually."

He grinned. "Okay, you were right."

"Of course I was," she said, laughing. "You just need to listen to me up front. It'll save you a lot of anguish. And pissiness."

He gave her a look. "Hey now." He kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too. And you know I'll marry you, right? You'll know when the right time is."

* * *

He did, too. He asked her at sunset on a beach in California in late spring and she happily said yes and let him slide the beautiful ring on her finger. His relationship with his kids had greatly improved and had culminated in Taylor's announcement that she was coming to Nashville to attend Belmont University in the fall. As a blended family, they were continuing to take positive steps forward. It had been a winding road for them to get to this place, but she was looking forward to the rest of the journey with him.

_**This isn't quite the end. One more chapter, a few years in the future, to see how things worked out for these two.**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**2016**_

**Connie**

She was standing in the bathroom, working on her hair. She smiled when she saw Chip walk up behind her. "Hey, babe," she said.

He raised one eyebrow. "You about ready, gorgeous? We need to get going."

She ran her fingertips through her hair one last time, then leaned over the sink and put on lipstick. "But we have plenty of time, don't we? We don't have to be there super early, right?" she asked. She rubbed her lips together, ran her fingers through her hair one more time, and turned to face him.

He shrugged and smiled. "But I like the backstage stuff. Mixing and mingling with everyone. And there are some really big deal performers there tonight." He took a step towards her and wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her towards him. "I know it's not your favorite thing, but I appreciate you being a good sport." He kissed her on the cheek. He was right. She wasn't a big fan of the mix and mingle, plus it was 2 shows that night. The kids wouldn't be able to stay awake for both.

She rested her hand on his cheek and smiled back at him. "Of course," she said. "The kids are excited to go." She stepped out of his embrace and headed for the bedroom.

"Yeah, they are. Yoby's ready, but your daughter is like you," he said as he followed her.

She glanced back at him over her shoulder and laughed. "Says the indulgent daddy who she has wrapped around her little finger."

He grinned sheepishly. "What can I say? She's a mini-me to the most amazing woman I know."

She laughed again and headed to Ryleigh's bedroom. Her daughter was standing in front of her full length mirror, turning this way and that. She couldn't help but smile. Ryleigh was definitely a little diva already. "You look gorgeous, baby girl," she said. "But we need to go so Daddy's not late." Ryleigh had on a tiny jean skirt and a cute little sleeveless top, along with her 'Nashville shoes', a pair of dark purple boots.

Ryleigh turned to face her. She was always struck by how much their daughter looked like Chip, with her dark hair and crystal blue eyes as well as his smile. She was the perfect female version of him. it always caught her in the heart too, to see their daughter perfectly healthy and full of energy. She never forgot how frightened she'd been, the day Ryleigh was born, 7 weeks early and just under 3½ pounds. She said a silent prayer of thanks, as she often did.

"I'm ready!" Ryleigh shouted, and then ran past her out of the room.

* * *

She watched him as he made the rounds in the family room before the first show. He had Ryleigh on his hip and he would introduce her to everyone he talked to. She couldn't help but smile. He was where he loved to be, in the middle of everything. He'd been surprised when he'd been invited to perform that night. It was the unofficial beginning of CMA Fest, he'd told her, and so some of the biggest names in country music were performing as well. She was happy for him. He'd been despondent ever since the show had been cancelled and he'd needed the pick me up.

He'd been at the forefront of the Bring Back Nashville movement, along with some of the other cast. It was a little bit of a sore point for him that she had not gotten involved. But he and the other cast members had rallied with a very dedicated group of fans to blanket social media with the message that it wasn't time for the show to be over. She knew there were some pretty serious talks going with CMT and she had mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, she knew how much Chip loved the show and the role of Deacon. She would hate to see him not get to continue that. But she was exhausted. By the turn the show had taken, by the schedule, the writing and the inability to take on roles she was interested in. Four years had been a long time, especially in network TV with its 20+ episode seasons. Plus she wanted to spend more time with Yoby and Ryleigh. She'd made up her mind already that, if the show were to be picked up by another network, she was going to ask to be let out of her contract. She just hadn't told Chip.

Suddenly there was a flurry of activity towards the front of the room. She turned in time to see Carrie Underwood come through the crowd. Carrie seemed to focus on her immediately and hurried towards her. "Oh my God, it's Tami Taylor!" she cried. "I just loved you on Friday Night Lights and I love you on Nashville!" She smiled as Carrie threw her arms around her, as though they were old friends. She kept smiling though and put her hands on the younger woman's back briefly. Then Carrie stepped back and grasped her hands. "I was just so excited when I heard you were here tonight."

**Chip**

When he heard the commotion, he turned to look and saw Carrie Underwood hugging Connie. He smiled. She rarely came to Opry with him, because it really was a late night for the kids. She felt like Yoby and Ryleigh spent enough time with their nanny, without her going out at night too. He was glad she'd agreed to come and bring the kids this time. They had not talked much about the cancellation or the campaign to bring the show back. He'd been very morose in the beginning, he knew that, and she'd been respectful of it. But he could see the relief on her face during all her interviews in the immediate aftermath. She seemed relaxed, smiling, laughing. It had hurt though and he hadn't been able to keep that to himself.

"_Can't you seem just a little bit sad?" he asked her, after she'd finished her interview with Seth Meyers._

"_I don't know what you mean," she said._

"_You were laughing, yucking it up, talking about how excited your LA friends are." He could hear himself sounding petulant._

_She was quiet for a moment. "Are we really having this conversation, Chip?" she asked. He didn't say anything. "Look, I'm sorry if you don't like how I'm handling this, and I get that our reactions are a bit different, but you don't need to be pissy with me about it."_

He sighed. He'd apologized, of course, and they'd gotten past it, mostly by not talking about it. She'd given notice on the house, which he had argued was premature, but she'd done it anyway. _We have to face it, Chip. There's no real reason to stay when we have a home in California. _ He knew he should be okay with it, but he just hadn't been ready to give up. He'd been encouraged by the fans who were fighting for the show and it had made him fight harder, right along with them. But tonight was a celebratory night, not a night to be thinking about how far apart they were on this one issue. He had been beyond honored to be asked to perform that night. He was excited to have Connie, Yoby and Ryleigh there with him. It was a big night.

* * *

He was on right before the intermission. Connie and the kids walked out with him to the side stage to wait for his set. Before he walked onto the stage, she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Good luck, babe," she said, smiling at him. "I can't wait to hear you."

He hugged her again. "I'm so glad you're here," he whispered into her ear. Then he walked out onto the stage to a very enthusiastic crowd. He made a few comments about working hard to bring the show back and then he launched into this first song.

**Connie**

She was really glad they'd come. This was something he loved to do and it always seemed to her like he'd been born to do it. She remembered the very first time he'd performed at the Opry. It had actually been at the Ryman and he'd been so nervous. She'd gone out on stage, briefly, and hugged him, whispering to him how happy she was for him. They had started seeing each other again and, based on the timing, it had been not long after that when she got pregnant. They had not been diligent about using a condom. She'd been sure she was too old. But, of course, that had not been the case. She looked down at Ryleigh, who was standing in front of her, holding her hand, bouncing along to the beat. Ryleigh was the result of that incorrect assumption, but one she would never be unhappy about.

Suddenly, Ryleigh pulled away and started across the stage towards Chip. "Ryleigh!" she whispered loudly, but either her daughter didn't hear or she was ignoring her. All she could do was watch, as Ryleigh ran towards Chip. He turned in her direction and, after a brief look of surprise, he smiled. He moved his guitar behind his back and scooped up their daughter, glancing at her briefly with a happy smile on his face.

"Hey, baby girl," he said to Ryleigh. "Did you come to sing with me?" She was holding her breath as she watched. Ryleigh was just shy of 3 years old and could still be a little timid around other people. But she did love her father and loved sitting and listening to him sing.

Ryleigh nodded. "Sure!"

He nodded towards the audience. "That's who we'll sing to." He leaned towards the mike. "So this is my youngest daughter, Ryleigh." The crowd cheered loudly. "Somehow, although I'm not surprised, she got away from her mama." He looked at Ryleigh then. "Can you wave to everyone, sweetie?" She watched as Ryleigh gave kind of a half wave and then tried to wriggle down from his arm. He set her down on the stage and whispered something in her ear. Ryleigh put her hands on his face and kissed him, to great applause, and then ran back to her.

She squatted down as Ryleigh came running. She grabbed her daughter in her arms. "You didn't want to sing with Daddy?" she asked, with a smile.

Ryleigh looked at her intently. "That's a lot of people out there," she said seriously.

She nodded. "I know. But let's listen now, okay?" She stood up and had Ryleigh stand in front of her, holding onto her shoulders, as they listened to Chip finish with Whiskey Lips, which always made her smile. When he was done, he waved to the crowd, then flicked his guitar pick out into the audience. He pulled off his guitar and handed it to one of the guitar techs, who would put it away in its case for him until the second show. Then he approached them, a huge smile on his face.

"Hey everybody," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. He looked at Yoby. "So what did you think, Yobes?"

Yoby smiled happily. "It was great!" He looked up at her. "Can we come again, Mom?"

She smiled and rubbed her hand over his head. "Of course we can." She looked at Chip and she saw a hint of sadness in his eyes. This was what he would find hard to give up, she knew. If they went back to LA, there would be no more Opry performances or Bluebird performances or performances at any of the other places he'd gotten to perform in. The music part of his life would probably not be as prominent. It was the thing that gave her pause, when she thought about it all. This had been such a gift for him. He'd told her so many times how grateful he was to have had this opportunity, how it had awakened the part of his life that had sat on the back burner for so many years.

He leaned into her. "So what was the story on this one?" He nodded towards Ryleigh.

She smiled and shrugged. "Well, she does really love her daddy."

Ryleigh was dancing around at their feet. "Daddy, daddy, daddy!" she cried, in a sing song voice.

She watched as he knelt down and scooped her up. "What, baby?" he asked, then gave her a kiss on the cheek. She reached out and smoothed Ryleigh's hair back.

Ryleigh threw her arms around his neck, burying her face against his neck. "I love you," came her muffled voice.

He grinned, rubbing her back with his free hand. "I love you too, baby." He gestured towards the dressing room area. "Let's get them out of all this."

She put her hand on Yoby's back and fell in step with him as they headed for his dressing room.

* * *

Ryleigh was in her lap, leaning back against her, as she read to her. This was one of her favorite things to do. They sat cuddled up in the chair she and Chip had bought just before Ryleigh was born. She and Chip had sat together in the chair countless times, as she had breastfed their daughter. It had been a special time for the three of them and she never failed to think about it. Now Ryleigh liked to sit there and be read to, whether it was by her or by Chip. Yoby was at preschool and she would pick him up in the afternoon. Chip was down at CMA Fest, where he had a Q & A event, a meet and greet event, and then would perform on one of the free stages later that afternoon. He'd tried to get her to bring the kids down, but it would have been impossible. Plus it was hot as hell, as well as being humid. No place for her, much less for the kids.

Her phone had been buzzing periodically for at least the last 30 minutes, but she'd ignored it. It buzzed again and Ryleigh leaned her head back in exaggerated irritation. "Answer it, Mama," she said. She smiled and reached for it.

She saw it was Chip. "It's Daddy," she said to Ryleigh.

Ryleigh grabbed for the phone. "Let me, let me, let me!" she cried. She tapped the phone to accept the call and held it out for her daughter. "Daddy, hey," Ryleigh said sweetly.

"Hey, sweet girl. What are you doing?" He sounded giddy.

"Nothing," Ryleigh said. "Sitting with my mom. You can have her now." Ryleigh slid off her lap and ran out of the room, dropping the phone on the chair.

She picked up the phone and lifted it to her ear. "Hey there," she said. She could hear lots of crowd noise in the background.

"We did it!" he shouted. "We got picked up!"

She closed her eyes for a second and swallowed. "Really?" she said, knowing she sounded unenthusiastic, but also knowing he wouldn't notice. She could tell he was high as a kite.

"You didn't see my text?"

"No. I was reading to Ryleigh."

"Well, CMT picked us up. I found out before I had that fan thing." He paused and she continued to hear crowd noise in the background. She wondered where he actually was. "You should really come down here, baby. Get someone to keep the kids. Clare's gonna be here. People would love to see you."

"I can't, Chip," she said. "I don't like crowds like that. You know that. And Yoby's at pre-school, so I'll have to pick him up. We'll celebrate when you come home." Not that she really wanted to celebrate, but she also wasn't going to spoil this for him. Even if it wasn't the best news for her, she loved him and would always support him. She made a mental note that she'd need to contact the owner of the house and hope it was still available.

"Okay." He sounded disappointed. "So, I'm headed for a meet and greet and then have the set I'm doing later. I'll see you after that." He lowered his voice a little. "I'm gonna keep you up all night, baby." She felt that familiar tingle between her legs and her chest felt hot.

"I'm looking forward to that," she said, her heart beating fast. "Have fun, babe." After he hung up, she laid the phone down. She wanted to cry. _There has to be a way out of this. I can't do it._ But she and Chip couldn't be in two different places. He'd need to be in Nashville. Would _want_ to be in Nashville. She couldn't leave him. She couldn't take the kids away with her, but she couldn't leave them in Nashville either. It really wasn't that she didn't like Nashville, because she did. Loved it, actually. Her daughter had been born here. She had great friends here.

She got up and started to pace, trying to think about what her options were. At that moment, they felt like next to nothing, mainly because she wouldn't leave Chip. Not on a long term basis. She just didn't want to do the show. Or at least do it full out. It made her wonder if there couldn't be a compromise.

* * *

He was later than she thought he'd be, but she knew he'd be caught up in the excitement of the renewal. She promised herself she wouldn't spoil it for him. They could talk some other time about what she wanted to do. When he finally got home, the kids were already in bed. She threw her arms around his neck and he put his arms around her waist and lifted her up, kissing her as he did. He tasted of bourbon, so she knew he'd had a couple of drinks. He finally set her down on the floor and grinned. "God, Connie, this was just the best day ever," he said. He was still giddy and she could see the joy on his face.

"I can see that," she said with a smile. "You want to tell me all about it?"

He shook his head. "You know what I want to do." His eyes were twinkling.

She laughed. "Me?"

He raised one eyebrow. "I always knew you were a very smart lady," he said. He grabbed her hand. "Come on."

**Chip**

He was hot and sweaty and needed to take a shower. Luckily she was more than happy to join him. When the water was warm enough they stepped in. He stepped up close behind her and put his hand on her abdomen, kissing her shoulder and the back of her neck. He was buzzing, not so much from alcohol – although there had been some of that – but from the high of the show being picked up by CMT. They would have at least another season and he was so sure it would be infinitely better than the last that he was convinced Connie would be happy about it too. But at the moment, all he wanted was her.

She was pressing back against him and he was rock hard and ready for her. He pressed his hand against her, shifting her a bit. Then he thrust himself inside her with one quick move, groaning in appreciation of how warm and wet she was. He pressed himself against her as he moved inside her, moving quickly in and out. It didn't take long before he felt her squeeze him tightly, which then caused him to push one last time, hard and forceful and then let go, murmuring her name against her shoulder. "Oh god, I love you," he said, as she leaned against him, breathing hard.

"I love you too," she whispered. He held her close for a moment, then stepped back. She turned to face him, water streaming down over her head and down her body, and he thought he'd never seen a woman as gorgeous and sexy as her. He felt overwhelmed with how much he loved her. He pulled her towards him and kissed her deeply.

When he finally let her go, she was laughing. "Oh, wow, babe," she said. "That was a really good start."

He raised his eyebrows. "There's a lot more where that came from." He took her hand and led her out of the shower, first wrapping her in a towel, then using one for himself. She ran a comb quickly through her damp hair and then he picked her up. She squealed with laughter, wrapping her arms around his neck, as he carried her to the bed and laid her gently on it. Then he joined her, as they both crawled under the sheets. He wrapped her up in his arms and she rested her head on his shoulder. "So that was pretty great news we got today, huh?"

She nodded. "I could hear how excited you were." She scratched his chest with her fingers.

He didn't say anything at first. He had hoped that maybe when she heard the news, she'd come around, but he wasn't really hearing it in her voice. Nobody knew better than he did how unhappy she'd been with the storylines in the 4th season. _Babe, the only thing I liked was when Deacon and Rayna got married and then they __still__ created unnecessary drama. I mean, I would have been __pissed__ if you disappeared right before our wedding._ "I really think the new showrunners are gonna turn this around," he said. "New writers, new attitude."

She sighed. "I hope you're right and they can get it back on track. But I'd still like to consider my options." She reached across him and put her hand on his arm. "I did reach out to our landlord to see if we could stay here."

He rolled slightly towards her then. "I was thinking about that," he said. She turned her head to look up at him. "What about we think about buying a house here." He'd thought about that all the way home. He really wanted them to think about putting roots down in Nashville.

She frowned. "We have a house in LA."

"I know, but wouldn't it be easier to be here most of the time?"

She smirked. "We already _are_ here most of the time."

He shrugged. "I guess. But if I'm gonna work more on my music..."

"I guess we can talk about it. But we don't have to make a decision right this minute, do we?"

"No..."

She smiled. "Then let's don't." She then lifted herself up and straddled him, laughing softly. "You promised me all night long," she murmured. "Right?"

He grinned. _God, I love her._ "Oh, yeah." She shifted slightly and he entered her slowly, enjoying every single second of it.

**Connie**

Chip was still a little bit in a mood over her lack of enthusiasm. He'd been devastated when the show was cancelled, but he didn't show it with the kids. He was fun dad, wrestling and playing catch with Yoby, hitting the playground with Ryleigh. She had done a few talk shows in the immediate aftermath of the cancellation and when she got home, he'd told her she looked too happy.

"_I'm sorry, babe," she said, as she sat on the bed and rubbed her arms with lotion. "I don't mean to."_

_He gave her a side eye as he slid his jeans off. "But you __are__ happy about it, Connie," he grumbled._

_She sighed, then squeezed more lotion in her hand and started working on her legs. "Chip, we've talked about this." They had. She had been more and more disappointed in the storylines. She had hated the emancipation deal, hated the drifter Rayna tried to save story, fumed about how they were writing Deacon and Rayna. She also hated long seasons with 20+ episodes. She was tired. She looked over at him as he sat on the bed, his legs crossed and his glasses on, a magazine in his hand. She couldn't help but notice he was at the far edge of his side of the bed. "Babe. You know I want more. And less."_

_He looked at her over the top of his glasses. "I __do__ know that, Connie. You haven't stopped going on and on about it."_

_She frowned. "Hey, that's not fair. I have __not__ gone on and on about it, but I __have__ told you I want to spread my wings. Do something new that stretches me." She reached over and tapped his arm. "This doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can spend time working on your music." _

_He sighed. "I loved that show."_

"_I know you did. But it's not like it really would have gone on forever, though, right?" She put the cap back on the lotion and set it on her bedside table, then turned back towards him. "We could have been cancelled after year two, remember?"_

_He nodded, but he still looked sad. He took off his glasses and placed them and the magazine on his table. "I'm just not ready for it to be over." He breathed in. "There __is__ that big push to bring the show back, on social media." She nodded. "Maybe we'll get some good news soon."_

_She considered that. There was a lot of chatter and they both knew there were some fairly serious talks with CMT. She had not told Chip yet that, even if the show returned, she was thinking about talking to Callie and Marshall about not signing a new contract. All the contracts would be renegotiated upon pick up by CMT or someone else, if that happened. But she didn't want to say anything to Chip just yet. She usually told him everything, so keeping this to herself was killing her, but she was pretty sure he'd blow up._

* * *

In the first few days after the pick-up he'd been so happy that it seemed he hadn't noticed her less than enthusiastic reaction. He and most of the rest of the cast had immediately announced they were coming back. Marshall and Ed, the new showrunners, were already talking about their plans for the new season. They were going to stretch out the scenes, they said. Dial back on the soap opera drama. Give the show a chance to breathe. Things like that weakened her resolve a little. But the 22 episodes was not something she wanted to do. And she still wanted to consider her options. Yoby and Ryleigh were both getting older and she wanted to be more involved with them. She wanted to be a mom for a while.

She and Hayden were the only ones who hadn't signed on at that point. Hayden had grown distant from most of them, caught up in the aftermath of her post-partum depression and the strain on her relationship with her fiancé. She knew, without even talking to her co-star, that Hayden was really thinking hard about the future. The character of Juliette was a challenging part to play. The character had grown almost unlikeable over the course of the last season and she knew Hayden was unhappy with that. She herself had not met yet with Marshall and Ed, but Chip had told her their plans were to rework the Deacon-Rayna relationship, satisfy the fans' desire to see them happy but also as a normal married couple, figuring their way around teenagers and careers and just finally having all they ever wanted. She was torn.

She finally texted Callie and asked for a meeting. _I really need to talk to you. About the show coming back._ Callie responded _I'll be back in Nashville in two weeks._ She started to respond and then saw the little bubbles that meant Callie was typing some more. _This isn't like yr 1 is it?_ She smiled to herself, remembering when she had met with Callie to tell her she was pregnant. _I'm not pregnant or anything like that. Just considering the future._ She waited. _I'll call you when I'm back and we can meet._ She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was time for her to decide what she wanted to ask for.

**Chip**

He watched as Ryleigh scrambled up the slide and then slid all the way down, squealing with laughter. She kept doing it over and over and he smiled. It always baffled him how kids could be happy doing the same thing over and over again. He still thought about how amazing it was that this little girl was the same one who'd been born 7 weeks early at barely 3½ pounds, spending her first three weeks of life in the NICU. She had mostly caught up to other kids her age in height and weight, although she was still slender. _Just like her mom_, he thought. He clenched his jaw. Connie was still being stubborn about her desire to either leave the show or at least greatly reduce her schedule.

_They had been sitting on the couch after putting the kids to bed and he'd asked her again to reconsider. She sighed. "Chip, we've talked about this. I feel like, really, I've been working for ten years straight, with the usual brutal series TV schedule. Any other projects I want to work on have to be sandwiched into hiatuses, and that means small roles. I want to have the ability to do meatier things. And I want to be able to spend time with the kids. I've never really been able to do that. Yoby's starting first grade and Ryleigh's going to be in pre-school and I want to be able to enjoy that."_

He wanted to understand but all he could think of was that it would kill the show for her to be gone. She would tell him he was really the heart of the show, but he wasn't convinced. He'd felt like they had been in a standoff for the past two days, ever since she'd floated the idea again, more seriously this time. He knew he was being selfish, but he loved the show and he loved being able to work with her. He wanted to be more adult about it, but he just wasn't there yet.

He had to admit that Connie wasn't taking his bait though. She was always pleasant, smiled at him, lightly tapped his arm, just like she always did. She didn't seem bothered by the chill in the air, or at least the chill he perceived to be there. Since the day they had the first table read, she'd been his partner, on set and then later off set as well. They'd gone through a lot together, especially the first year or two, but things had mostly leveled off in the past few years. They'd gotten married and created a rhythm for themselves. This was new, not being on the same page about something. But this was big.

Just then Ryleigh ran up to him, cutting off his train of thought. "I'm done, Daddy," she said.

He smiled at his girl. "You wanna do something else? The swings?"

She very dramatically raised up her shoulders and then dropped them, sighing deeply. "I've already done that," she said. He chuckled a little. She also had her mother's acting gene. "Let's go home." She reached for his hand.

"Okay," he said and then he tightened the grip on her hand as they walked to the car.

* * *

He hustled around the car to open the door and get Ryleigh out of the booster seat. As he unlatched the seat belt, she looked at him seriously. "I want you not to be mad at Mom anymore," she said.

That took him by surprise. Things had been a little strained, but he didn't realize it was noticeable. He frowned. "Who says I'm mad at Mom?" he asked.

"Because you do that" – she pointed at his face and then she made her own little frown – "and you don't kiss her anymore."

He pulled her out and set her on the ground, then watched her run towards the house. It had stunned him a little and then it made him think. He'd essentially been pouting, he'd realized, and they'd been sleeping turned away from each other. Or he had anyway. He put his hands in his pockets and breathed in deeply. He needed to be more understanding about her needs. Of course she'd want to be more of a mom. She'd gone back to work six weeks after they brought Ryleigh home, begrudgingly admitting she needed to do her part so the show would be ready to go. Even though they brought the kids on set, she worked extra for a while that second season, doing scenes from episodes already completed in addition to scenes from the current episode. And Rayna was always a heavy load, more so than any other character. But she was a professional. Always acted that way.

He headed slowly for the house and let himself in. She was standing at the kitchen island making tea and looked up when he came in. She gave him a warm smile. "Hey," she said, as she dipped her tea bag.

He walked over behind her and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. He leaned into her neck and kissed her there. "It's a humbling experience to be called out by my three-year old daughter," he murmured.

"What?"

He sighed. "She told me she didn't want me to be mad at you anymore."

She laughed a little. "She said that?"

He nodded. "Apparently she's quite observant." He kissed her shoulder. "Told me I'm not kissing you enough either."

She laughed again, a little louder this time. "Well, that _is_ true." She dropped the tea bag and turned in his arms to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You're _not_ kissing me enough." She pecked him on the lips. "Or other things." She gave him a sly smile.

He breathed in, then let it out, holding her close to him. "I'm sorry I've been such an ass. I want you to do what makes you happy. And if part of that is that you stay home with our kids, then I think they're very lucky to have you for a mom."

She smiled up at him. "Thank you, babe," she said quietly. "I don't like for you to be mad, at me or anyone else." She grinned. "_Especially_ at me." He kissed her, tugging on her lips. He didn't like being mad either. Especially at her. She pulled back and looked at him. "As it happens, I heard from Marshall today."

He stiffened just a little. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "I'm going to go back on a reduced schedule. Essentially I'll be recurring, although they'll keep me the same in the credits." He breathed in deeply, smiling at her.

"Tell me," he said. He took her hand and led her to the couch. She sat facing him, her legs crossed under her.

"Thirteen episodes for this coming season. They need to come up with a story and he did tell me they might front load some episodes, but it will depend on what they come up with. And then if we go to a sixth season and beyond, it would be no more than seven or eight per season." She leaned forward and reached for his hands. He squeezed hers gently. "I hope you understand. I really need more time with the kids plus it lets me get away for small projects and…." He shut her up by pulling her over onto his lap and kissing her more urgently. He had his arms around her waist and she threaded her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, returning his kiss. When he finally let her go, she was breathless. He could see the laughter bubbling up inside her. "And I can be a _much_ better wife." The laughter bubbled over. "I love you, babe."

He laughed too. "I love you back," he said, and kissed her again.

_**2018**_

**Connie**

This time he'd taken the cancellation news better. He had still been disappointed and sad, but he'd been more at peace with it. It really would be the end this time and it also felt like they'd ended things well. It had helped to have advance notice so the writers could craft that perfect ending. It had felt amazing to be able to include the audience of extras in the final scene and have Callie able to truly thank everyone who'd made the 6 years possible.

She thought that what ultimately made the difference in his reaction was that she had stayed. She had negotiated a reduced schedule for both seasons and it had freed her up for some other short term projects, as well as time with Yoby and Ryleigh and she'd been much happier. Both of them had new projects coming up that would put them in different places, but she knew they'd work through it all together.

"You're not dressed yet?" She turned, startled, to see him standing at her closet door.

She smiled apologetically. "Sorry. I guess my mind was just elsewhere. Are the kids ready?"

He walked a few steps into the closet. "Yoby is, of course, but Ryleigh's now on her third outfit change and, even though I told her it had to be the last one, I'm not sure she's listening to me."

She grinned and walked over to him, putting her hand on his cheek. "She's all girl, babe, so I think you're going to have to get used to it." She kissed him lightly on the lips. "Plus she just wants to be pretty for Dad."

He shook his head and smirked. "I don't know about that." He put his arm around her waist. "You still gonna sing with me tonight?"

"Oh, babe, I don't know." She felt butterflies in her stomach as he said it.

"You promised."

She sighed. "I know I did, but you know how I am about singing."

He pulled her in close, kissing the top of her head. "I'm gonna be right there with you and it'll be fine."

She gave him a side eye, then held her index finger up. "Well, first of all, you have to let me get dressed. And you need to go check on your daughter."

He smiled. "Alright, but you need to get a move on." He headed for the bedroom and she just watched him, smiling to herself. Just when she thought she couldn't love him more, he'd do something like be supportive of her journey the past 2 years. She had spent the first year just doing the 13 episodes she and Marshall had agreed to. When it was cut to 8 for the season they'd just completed, she'd done some movie work that didn't require a huge time commitment and still left her plenty of time with Chip and the kids. And the story they'd crafted for Rayna had worked, leaving the show in a good place when it ended.

She was doing it again, drifting off track. The final episode had aired several weeks earlier and Chip had been invited again to perform at the Opry, so they were all going. And he had talked her into singing onstage with him, one night when he'd sweetly made love to her and her defenses were down. She shook her head to stop herself from going back down a rabbit hole and turned her attention back to what she had in her closet. She finally chose a pretty sundress, covered in flowers and palm fronds. She took off her jeans and t-shirt and slipped the dress on, running the zipper up the back. Then she stepped into some dressy sandals. She walked out of the closet and into the bathroom, where she ran a brush through her hair and then created some messy waves with her fingers. She reached for a lipstick and put it on, rubbing her lips together. She picked at a strand of hair one last time and then headed for the hallway.

* * *

As they drove across town to the Opry, she stared out the window. She would never forget the very first time they had filmed there. Yoby had been a year and a half then and Ryleigh wasn't even a thought. She still remembered Chip, as Deacon, putting his hand on her shoulder. She had turned back to look at him, putting her hand over his. She had felt like she couldn't breathe. That first year had been filled with change and new experiences and pain and heartbreak, as well as unimaginable joy. It hadn't all been easy, but eventually they figured it out. When the twists and turns their characters went through onscreen made her a little crazy, she found herself comforted by the fact that she could go home with this man and life would make sense.

Changing networks had been her saving grace. She'd been afraid Marshall and Ed wouldn't accommodate her, but they had surprised her. The story they had created had restored the romanticism of Deacon and Rayna and yet been plausible in explaining her absences on the screen. She'd been proud of the work they'd done in the realm of trauma and its aftermath and finally recovery. Rayna's return to her career and the stage, in the last two episodes of the series, had pleased her.

She looked over at Chip then and reached for his hand. He glanced back, letting his fingers tangle up with hers, smiling. She smiled back. She looked over her shoulder into the backseat. The time she'd gotten to spend with Yoby and Ryleigh, being part of school field trips and school activities, had recharged her. Chip had been right – Ryleigh had changed clothes again – and that made her smile. She had finally settled on a cute little denim skirt and a sleeveless top, plus her boots. Very similar to the outfit she'd worn the very first time she'd gone to the Opry, when she was almost 3. The night she'd ran out on the stage. She looked back at Chip and he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.

"You're not backing out on me, are you?" he asked, trying to hide a smile.

"No, I guess not," she said. "I did promise. Even if it was in a weak moment."

They reached the highway exit and he veered off to the right. She could already feel the butterflies.

**Chip**

It had been a little over 2 weeks since the final episode had aired. He'd been sad to see it end. When they'd first been told that the show would end at the end of the sixth season, he'd had a momentary sense that he'd lost his equilibrium. He had loved the role, truly the role of a lifetime, he'd always said. There would be other roles – in fact, he'd be heading to New Orleans soon for the next one – but maybe not another quite like Deacon Claybourne. He had tour dates lined up, so he could continue his music. Connie was producing a show – and was the lead – that would take them all to LA for a while. They would be fine. But he still felt like he was untangling.

He'd been relieved that Connie had stayed on the show. Her role was reduced by about half, but she'd been happier. And that made him happy. He never woke up a single day when he wasn't grateful for her being in his life. He flicked his eyes up to the rearview mirror. Yoby was playing on one of his handheld video games and Ryleigh was reading a book. He smiled. They made him feel young again, even though they also reminded him he wasn't as young as he felt like. Ryleigh had been a very special gift and Yoby had been the perfect fit into his broader family. There had been fits and starts at first, but now he had the kind of relationship he'd hoped for with his own kids again and they had finally accepted Connie into their lives as well.

Connie. His smile grew a little larger. It had been a long time since she'd sang in public with him. She'd always told people he was the only one who could get her to do it, but the truth was she still mostly said no. He'd asked her to sing with him at the Opry before, but she would always turn red and shake her head and say she just couldn't. So, as she said, he'd caught her in a weak moment.

_When he came out of his closet, she was performing her nightly ritual of rubbing lotion onto her legs and arms. She looked up and smiled, capping the tube and setting it aside. He got up on the bed and sat next to her. She slid back and he wrapped his arm around her. She turned towards him, resting one hand on his chest. He leaned down to kiss her. The way she returned the kiss made him realize she wanted sex and he was happy to oblige. He slid his free hand up under her t-shirt, fondling her breasts and brushing his thumb over her nipples. She moaned deep in her throat, her body relaxing. He kept kissing her, kept caressing her, until she turned a little more towards him and threw her leg over his. The kiss grew even deeper and he slid his hand down over her stomach, under her waistband, and down between her legs. She arched her back slightly and he slid 2 fingers inside her. She put her hand on his cheek, moving her hips, moaning into his mouth._

_He pulled his mouth from hers and looked into her eyes, dark with desire. He kept moving his fingers and she was panting. He kissed her forehead. She moved her hand down to cover his bulge and he groaned. He withdrew his fingers and rolled her onto her back. He grabbed the waistband of her shorts and pulled them down, tossing them onto the floor, followed by his own. Then he settled on top of her and she spread her legs out. He was right on the edge already, but he pulled her t-shirt up and she raised her arms so he could pull it off. It went on the floor as well, as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her gaze never leaving his. "What do you want, baby?" he whispered._

_She gave him a little smile. "You, babe. I want you," she said, her voice husky and deep._

_He sucked in his breath. "What do you want me to do to you?" he asked._

_Her smile widened a bit. "I want you to love me sweet," she whispered, saying the last three words very slowly._

_He immediately plunged inside her, needing to feel her around him, wrapping him up snugly. She was warm and wet and she responded to him immediately, moving her hips, lifting her pelvis up against him, her eyes focused on him like burning coals. He could feel her fingers lightly sliding around his neck and she brought his lips down to hers. He held her tightly as he kissed her, still moving inside her, his strokes becoming more forceful. She was moaning deep in her throat and he knew she was close. He started moving faster, in and out, and it didn't take long before she squeezed him hard and then relaxed, pulsing around him. He drove into her one last time and let go, just vaguely aware of her arms circling his waist. Slowly he let his breath out and buried his face against her neck, feeling her beneath him._

_He rolled off of her and onto his side. He smiled at her and she smiled back, looking like she was spent. He leaned down to her ear. He'd wanted to ask her this, but she'd always said no, so he thought when she was happy like this, she might be more inclined. "Sing with me, baby," he whispered. "At the Opry."_

_She looked at him like he was crazy. "What? Seriously?"_

_He smiled. "Yeah. Seriously. An easy one. A Life That's Good."_

_She shook her head. "If I say yes, will you promise it's the last time you ask me?"_

_He grinned. "I can't promise that."_

"_Well, I'll do it, but the answer will be no forever after."_

_He laughed, then bent down to kiss her. "Thank you, sweetie," he said. He pulled her into his arms._

"_Don't think you'll always get your way by using sex," she said, giving him an amused, but warning look. He laughed again, just holding her close, knowing she'd still let him anyway._

He smiled to himself. Normally she would not have been so quick to give him a yes and, truthfully, he'd been a little surprised she had then. But she was always full of surprises, which was just one of the many reasons he loved her. He could feel her looking at him then and she reached for his hand and he glanced over at her. _I'm the luckiest guy in the world._

* * *

He was the final performer for the second show that night, before the host closed it out. As always, the crowd was welcoming and, as always, there were clearly a lot of Nashville fans in the audience. It always made him smile. He glanced over to the side stage. She was standing there by herself. The nanny they'd used for years had met them that night and stayed with the kids during the second show. She had her hands clasped in front of her, like she was nervous. He looked back out at the crowd. Carrie Underwood had been the topliner that night so the place was full.

"So I have a special guest I'd like to bring out to sing this last one with me, if y'all don't mind," he said into the microphone. "My wife, Connie Britton!" He held his hand out, as the crowd screamed its approval, and she walked out, looking a little shy but waving at the audience. When she was standing next to him, he gave her a peck on the lips, then turned back to the microphone. "She's gonna sing A Life That's Good with me." She smiled at the applause.

"I don't usually do this," she said, leaning into the mic. "So y'all be kind." She turned to look at him and he started the guitar intro before they launched into the song, with him singing lead as they'd agreed, and her on the harmony.

_Sitting here tonight, by the firelight..._

**THE END**

_**A/N: This is the end of this story. Thanks for reading and for the reviews you've left. I've got something different planned for what I put out next, but I need to take a couple weeks off to chill. See you soon!**_


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